Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does...I don't own any songs mentioned in any of my previous chapters...I also do not own any shows that I made reference to earlier either...so NO you should not be able to sue me...so just smile and go along thanks.

Well, well, well, Edward is up next...enjoy if you want...if not apologies in advance.

Edward Anthony Mason-Cullen

He admitted that he is a mass murderer..and yet conveniently no wires or anything...America's one chance to put one of the most deadly creatures behind bars (he could have broken out anyway but still) and Bella just LETS IT GO! Love or not that questions moral fiber doesn't it? And for that matter, if Edward is half as good as he allows Bella to believe, he should have turned himself in...(whether or not this is funny...just a question coming from the grand-child of a cop...) Why is Edward (a monster in every since of the word) doted upon by MILLIONS of fan-girls? Now not only is HIS mind messed up...but now we must question the ENTIRE Twilight fan base on why they had no problem with this...

Who the HELL decided that his middle name was ANTHONY...personally I have no issue with the name...but it was NEVER mentioned in ANY books...my sister just noticed it on the back of a Twilight friendly shirt...

Well after many nights of debating with a younger sister, (on what Edward truly is) we have reached a conclusion...Edward lives in the woods, shies away from human contact, and sparkles...Edward's not a vampire, he's a FAIRY.

How did Edward get his mother's wedding ring? Did he go grave robbing? Once again his morals are put to the test...once again his morals FAILED the test.

Edward told Bella that he inherited quite a few "baubles" like the ring...just HOW did he inherit ANYTHING? He died, and as a newborn he should NOT have been near any humans whatsoever, you really have to question what was going through the heads of whoever granted him his inheritance...(if he did not just return home and stole them from his old house)...now enjoy this little...probably pointless skit...

First Speaker ~ Hey Dan, wasn't that guy dead a few weeks ago? His face was all over the papers along with all the other victims...how did he come here and collect his inheritance?

Second Speaker (Dan) ~ Eh...I don't know... he just looked really creepy what with those red eyes of his...so I figured it would be better off if I just gave him what he wanted and he left.

First Speaker ~ He had red eyes? Should we maybe call somebody? Like the police or maybe the circus...I mean he sort of glowed when he left the building...

Dan ~ Why would we do that...it's not like he can do harm to any people...or crush some young girls spirit when he leaves her in about 80 years.

First Speaker ~ True.

I thought the skit seemed appropriate...and if you guys are still curious why my chapters are a little...sucktacular...I have multiple things on my plate right now...this is the closest I have had to free time in a LONG time...I forgot how to react to a free moment...I sorta just sat there and wondered what I should do...no homework...no people calling me and wanting to talk...being out of work...thank GOD for being a temp...they lay you off when school gets serious.