A/N- So I made a goal to update all my stories before March break was over, but things came up and I was pretty busy. It's now june. Please don't hurt me. I had the most part of the next chapter for Pick-up lines, but it's on the computer that is ridden with viruses and I'm no longer supposed to touch until that is fixed. When will it be fixed? I have no idea. But I did finally finish chapter 3 of this story, finally the last one! Woohoo!

Disclaimer: I honestly can't think of anyway to do this disclaimer in an original and funny way... That's depressing. :( So I guess I'll just say it. Characters and settings belong to Tamora Pierce. I only own the plotline, and copies of the books which I bought...

Unlike our past two victims, Domitan of Masbolle was very much the sort to be involved in pranks. In fact Dom was quite used to causing uproars and then fleeing the scene before anyone could catch him. The only problem with this was that Dom wasn't used to actually being the victim. Sure there were one or two people who could pull one over him, but Neal, Meathead of all people wasn't supposed to be one of those people. What had gone wrong? I ask you all this. I also leave you to laugh along with all the other human beings, not to mention a few animals, at the sight that is Domitan of Masbolle. Seriously please find much amusement in this, as at that moment in time, Domitan really, really was not finding this affair entertaining. But feel free to point and laugh. That's what the most part of the Palace population was doing.

This Domitan in question, as I believe I mentioned before, was not laughing. No he was hanging his head in complete and utter humiliation. Why you ask? Well because for one, he was wandering around in a loin cloth and woman's breast band. The second reason was that his hand was stuck fast to the lady knight's hand. As in he was unable to let go of her hand. As in, due to some cruel fate Dom was forced to be dragged behind the completely furious woman while being unable to let go of her hand. Not that he'd really mind except for the fact that Kel was... Well from Dom's point of view she was not impressed. It shall never be known what Kel was thinking at that moment, but I think it's safe to assume that amidst all the profanities drifting through her mind, she was probably enjoying it in some remote corner of her brain.

Anyways, Dom's first and upmost priority was to get some decent clothing on. He was being dragged away by the girl of his dreams, furious as she was, and well… it was quite cold. Or at least that's the excuse we are going to use. I'm pretty sure he was horribly humiliated and degraded for the rest of his life. But let's just say that he was cold.

"Kel where are we going?" he asked as the lady knight continued to keep her unbelievably fast pace.

"We are going to see Duke Baird so that he can fix this," she snarled lifting their joined arms up to wave them in his face.

"And then we are going to eat lunch because I'm starving. Then we will inflict serious pain on Meathead," she finished with a fire in her eyes.

"I thought you were against calling my idiot cousin 'Meathead'" Dom teased.

"Trust me I'm over it."

"Anyways, as ecstatic as I am about ripping my cousin apart bit by bit, do you think maybe we could stop in my rooms?"


"Well…" Dom started to look down at his feet. "I'd like to get some actual clothing on if it's all the same to you," he finished. Kel looked at him and began to blush too.


And so the odd pair changed their route to stop at both Dom's and then Kel's rooms for she was still in her pajamas. I'm sure that many of you are excited to hear the awkward details of how exactly they managed to change their clothing, but sadly it is a mystery even to me. I have no idea how it would be physically possible to manage to change their clothes. Sheesh, I'm not some peeper who would be watching the two as they attempted to get dressed! I'll leave that your own active imagination.

Anyways, after the awkward couple finished dressing properly, they some how made their way to the medical ward going through great lengths to avoid being seen. Needless to say it didn't work, and Raoul and the most part of the king's own now have sufficient leverage to be able to use Dom as their personal slave for months on end. Not that they would stoop so low as to actually use it against their favourite sergeant. Raoul had claimed that this kind of blackmail was for emergencies only. Or possibly if they were in need of entertainment.

Sufficed to say, the two did eventually make it to the medical ward where it would be possible to find Duke Baird, with only minimal confrontation. Only a few snickering maids. Little did they have any idea that the palace's reaction was hardly embarrassing at all compared to Dom's uncle's response.

"Oh, you two are finally together?" He asked calmly, refilling some sort of container with a fine black powder. Spluttering and coughing, the two of them turned a bright shade of red.


"I'll take that as a no then?"

"And what do you mean finally?" asked Kel, quite embarrassed at the statement. Were people thinking that they would make a good couple? Making bets? Surely not…. Actually come to think of it, that wouldn't be much of a surprise. And me you ask? Of course not, why would I, the author, do something as foolish as that? But between you and me, if this story goes as planned I'll soon be rich!

"Well, I guess I just assumed…." The good duke's eyes looked down at the joined hands and coughed awkwardly. He scratched the back of his neck and looked up carefully. He grinned and shook his head. Young love….

"So I'm assuming that you want me to disjoin your hands?"

"No, uncle, we just came here for a glass of water," said Dom, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

"Well if that's all you wanted-"

"Yes we want our hands separated!" Yelled Dom. In case you hadn't noticed Dom's patience was stretching quite thin. Baird shook his head chuckling again, which truthfully only succeeded in infuriating the couple even more so than before.

He took the joined hands into his own and examined them closely as a dark green light surrounded the hands sending waves of warmth into Dom's skin. All of a sudden a lighter green started sparking off of the conjoined appendages. A sharp jolt jerked the older man a way from their conjoined hands quickly startling all three of them. The duke looked shocked but not injured as he glanced warily at the two. Finally after a couple of seconds in which it seemed the man was trying to decide what to tell them, he sighed.

"Well it seems as if Neal has learned some small convenience spells. He's glued your hands together,"

"And… "asked Dom, prodding him along further.

"I guess the gist of it is; I can't undo it."

"What? Why in the world not?" Dom was beginning to seriously consider the idea of murdering his cousin. Sensing the look in his eyes, Baird continued on.

"Only the mage who casts the spell can undo it. Basically, you're going to have to get Neal to detach your appendages." Finishing he looked up to see the too young'uns completely blanch. As in dead white skin.

"We're doomed…." whispered Kel.

Neal sat on a bench in the cafeteria feeling very smug with himself indeed. He knew of course that revenge was imminent, and any second now the odd couple would walk through the door into the mess hall, and give him simultaneous glares that were so cold they could freeze one's mortal soul. He was well aware that he was now on the hit list of one of the scariest females ever to walk these halls; in fact she was second only to the lioness.

Looking up as he felt someone's eyes on him, he met the gaze of Lord Wyldon, nearly dying when the man winked at him with a smile. What. The. Hell….. Actually the man had turned out to be a surprisingly good prankster, although he still scared the crap out of him. Neal had just an ounce more of respect for the man.

The entire mess hall looked up as the large doors slammed open. A moment of silence was held as everyone's minds tried to comprehend what they were seeing. And then the snickers started. Just a few whispered laughs, which turned into giggles and from there to full out roaring. Above all the noise a loud wolf whistle erupted. And the worst thing possible that Kel could have done happened. She flipped them the bird.

Neal couldn't help it anymore, and burst into guffaws himself. Kel shook her head and dragged Dom away, gathering food for the two of them and then shoving him into the seat of a table.

"I think I'm ready to murder someone," the lucid lady knight stated. It should be known that Dom most certainly did not scoot a few inches away from her. He wasn't afraid of a girl…..

Kel slammed her fist down on the ground, and Dom visibly jumped a few feet in the air. Please let it be Neal and not me, please be Neal, not me, not me, please don't let her hurt me….

"We need to go see Neal." Dom breathed a visible sigh of relief.

Neal's eyes searched the crowd, on high alert, hoping desperately that he wouldn't be ambushed from behind and brutally murdered. Finally deciding that for the moment he was safe, he grabbed a bite of his roll to eat, when suddenly he found that someone was pinching his ear and dragging him out of the room by it. And the only comprehensible thought he could come up with was: OW!

Certainly an odd sight could be found for anyone who cared to watch the three. A determined young lady was storming in the direction opposite the mess hall, walking to god knows where. She was holding on to the hand of a charming blue eyed sergeant who looked quite pleased with how things were going so far. But the third? This young man was leant over trying to catch up as the young lady grabbed him by the ear and dragged him through each corridor.

When finally they reached their destination, Neal looked up curiously, studying his surroundings incase the need to flee was aroused. It appeared as though the three were in the stables. The surrounding hay made his nose itch, and he scratched at it timidly awaiting his fate.

Might I add that both Kel and Dom's gazes were particularly murderous?

"Neal, I'm going to be blunt with this-" Kel started.

"Undo our hands, or we'll kill you," Dom finished. Neal chuckled, which by the way is the worst possible thing to do when you're about to be murdered. Realizing this, he stopped quickly but it was too late.

"Never mind…."

"No, pray tell, what in the world do you find amusing about us being about to murder you?" Asked Kel with an evil quirk of her eyebrow. Neal gulped.

"Well…. You guys were finishing each other's sentences." Dom twitched. Kel twitched. Neal winced waiting for the pain that was about to come his way. Then an Idea formed in his head. Ha! They couldn't really hurt him!

"You guys can't kill me, because you need me to undo the spell! Ha!" The words tumbled out of his mouth.

"You're right. We can't kill you just yet-" Dom started.

"But we can inflict much pain if you are…. Uncooperative." Finished Kel. Neal smirked and raised an eyebrow at the two. They, realizing what they had done for the second time blushed. And so Neal's smirk grew.

"Dom, bring in Peachblossom….." Said Kel. Neal froze in his spot.

"You wouldn't."

"Wanna bet?" She would. Mithros help me. Wait a second…. It was time to bring out something Neal knew how to use. Blackmail.

"If you do that I'll show Dom your Journal!" he shouted quickly. Kel gasped. Dom looked confused for a couple seconds. What could possibly be in her journal that was so bad?

"How did you get my journal?" She shouted back. "That's Private!" Believe me when I say that Neal very much knew it was private. Why do you think he read it?

"Wait, what's so important in your journal that I can't read?" Dom asked curiously. Kel turned a lovely shade of red, while Neal grinned like the cat that got the canary.

"Well my dear cousin-oomph!" That noise is the sound that Neal makes when he is elbowed in the stomach.

"Say anything more and I will bring Peachblossom in here."

"You bring that thing in here, and I'll tell him everything,"

"You tell him everything and I'll rip of your limbs one by one."

"Yes, but he'll still know."

"What am I not supposed to know?" Dom shouted over their bickering. The two froze and turned to look at the impatient sergeant. Kel looked down at her shoes expecting Neal to keep his mouth shut. Sadly she was mistaken.

"That Kel has had a crush on you since she met you. In fact I can quote something right out of her journal right now," he finished and reached into his pocket where he had a crumpled notebook. ON the front it did indeed say 'Kel's journal. Open and Die'. Both Kel and Dom froze for a moment, Dom in shock that Kel might actually fancy him and Kel because Neal had her journal and was about to quote from it. Kel, having no idea what to do lunged for the book causing Neal to jump back and run. Just as Kel was about to chase after him, she felt two arms reach around her and grab her around the waste holding her close.

"I want to hear what it says," he said quietly from behind. Kel's heart started to beat quicker, and she squirmed to get away. He couldn't know what it said. He just couldn't. He would tell the king's own, and then she would be the laughing stock for the rest of her life. But try as she might, she just couldn't get away from his strong grip around her waist. Finally she relaxed into his arms and sighed. He was too damn strong when he was stubborn like this. Not to mention he was a head taller than her. Dom grinned at her resigned state and he too relaxed. Or at least until she twisted around in his arms and slipped out. Dom made a grab at her once again but she ran all the way to Neal and desperately tried to get the book back again. Neal of course, being at least two heads taller than her just raised the book just out of reach. Kel huffed and stopped jumping for it.

All of a sudden she was grabbed from behind once again. This was not a good day for her. Neal, realizing that this was his chance, opened up the book, cleared his throat dramatically and began to read much to the dismay of our constrained lady knight.

"Today was quite an entertaining day. Dom and I did succeed in sticking Neal and Wyldon together by the wrist. Best reaction ever by the way. It was quite fun, though it was my first every prank. Apparently I'm a 'Pranking virgin' according to Dom. I had lots of fun, mostly because I got to work with Dom though. Mithros, this crush is getting bad. Before it was just a slight twitter in my stomach, but now, every time I'm near him I feel like I'm going to faint from lack of oxygen. That can't be good. I wish we could be something more than friends though. I can't be in love with him. There are too many rumors that would go around. Not to mention he's the most attractive, wanted bachelor in the Own. Problem is, I think that maybe….. Maybe I do love him."

Neal stopped and looked at the couple. Kel had her head down in embarrassment, knowing that if she were to look up at Dom's face she might cry from humiliation. Dom had a shocked look in his eyes, the kind of look where you're eyes are glazed over and you're staring off into space. Neal left the stable awkwardly figuring that the two should probably be alone for a little while to work things out. Neither of them noticed as he slipped out the door, muttering something under his breath. They also didn't notice green sparks circling their hands.

"So…." Dom started awkwardly. Kel shifted and tried to get out of his vice-like grip. Dom just held on tighter. Kel sighed and dropped her head once again. Dom, feeling frustrated turned her around on his lap so that he could look her in the eye. She continued to avoid his piercing blue eyes, so Dom grabbed her chin and pulled her eyes up to meet his.

"Did you mean all of that?" he asked seriously.

"Why on earth would I write something in my personal, private, journal, if it wasn't true?" she said with a sigh. "I know that you probably don't like me back, and this is really awkward for you, so let's just forget about it, alright?" Dom chuckled and stared at her. He gently took his hand and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. He slowly leaned down and gently placed his lips on hers. Kel's eyes shot wide open startled before gently closing them and beginning to move her lips against his. This was everything she had imagined and more. Kel sighed into his mouth in pleasure as he ran his fingers through her short brown hair. Chuckling some more, he pulled back from their embrace with a smile on his face.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he whispered. Kel smiled and nodded.

"Are we still going to kill Neal?" she asked. Dom shrugged.

"I feel as though we should be thanking him, don't you?" The two laughed before Kel tilted her head up and kissed him chastely on the lips.

"Yes, but we need to make sure we're people to be feared. Can't have them thinking we've gone soft now can we?" The two left the stables happy and laughing. I suppose that's the recipe for finding love. All it takes are a few child-ish pranks, a ton of embarrassment, and a couple with so much sexual tension the kingdom three doors down could feel it. And there you go. I guess pranks do lead to love.

All had worked out perfectly for our very own Lord Wyldon. Neal had gotten the brunt of all the pranking and pain, while he got to sit back and relax. Nobody dared to prank lord Wyldon unless they had a serious death wish. Sitting in front of a warm fire with only pajamas on, one winter morning, he pondered this. It had been four months since the whole prank war. Kel and Dom were still probably the hottest couple in the palace, but Wyldon had kind of been expecting at least a bit of retaliation against him. I guess the lady knight wasn't as brave as he thought.

Getting up, Wyldon went to get changed opening up drawers searching for clean loincloths. Not being able to find any he sat down, thinking hard. Where could they have gone? A knock interrupted him from his questioning and he stood up to go see who it could be. One of the castle's maids was standing their shifting back and forth.

"What do you need?" Wyldon barked. The maid coughed and shuffled a little bit more.

"Well sir, we found these out in the snow banks by the kitchen, they had your name on them so I've come to return them." She handed him a sack full of cloths. Upon further examination he discovered that they were indeed his loincloths.


A/N- This was a lot longer than I had thought it would be especially in comparison to the last two. Anyways I'm pretty proud of it, and also happy that it's finished. Also, just as a public announcement, I'm looking for a BETA. I've got this idea for a Kingdom hearts fic, basically just a collection of long oneshot parodies of fairy tales. If there's anyone reading this interested, or if you know of a really good one I'd be really happy if you'd tell me. I'm pretty excited about this one.

Anyways, as usual, thank you to all my reviewers. Also if you are fluent in french and you read the last author's not on chapter two I'm sorry. I had no idea what it meant in french, all I know is that it means please in German. Again Reviews are apprectiated greatly!