A/N: Okay…urm, it's my first Naruto FF and I am eager to hear your praises! (Grins nervously and ducks behind a tree as several sharp objects are thrown at me) 'Twas a joke! Merely a jest! Calm down everyone. I guess I just decided I wanted to try my hand at something Naruto related that wasn't too hard, so I kept it simple. I am a fan of SasuNaru, but in this story it is purely friendship at play here. Unless you squint, and kind of tilt your head sideways in the dark with a blindfold on…I suppose. This WAS written at one in the morning, so perhaps I shall come back to find it makes no sense, but oh well. Most of an artist's best work is done when half of their sanity is lost to fatigue, right? Enough of my blathering, enjoy!
Spit it Out
Sasuke watched warily from his position on the springy grass at the base of a stead-fast, old oak tree. Eyebrows twitched as he assessed the blonde's facial expression—an odd mixture of distaste in his crinkled nose and humor in the lilting eyebrows—and wondered if he should be worried. Naruto and Sasuke had finished their training a few minutes prior to this puzzling circumstance, and Sasuke finally grew tired of the look his friend was giving him.
"Something wrong, loser?" the words tumbled out without much gusto behind them, flailing among the neutral tones that expressed the total apathy the Uchiha felt towards the situation.
"Mmm…" Naruto nibbled on his fingernail, humming in an indecisive drone.
"Tell me now or leave me be. Your face is giving me a headache. And you're in my way." While this final statement was moot anyway, as is understandable if one can understand this absolute comfort and ease he felt in his secure nook, and had no intention of moving, Sasuke decided it needed it to be said, so as to ensure the matter would not have to be raised in the future where getting up seemed inevitable.
"What do you mean, a headache?" retorted Naruto animatedly, fist coming up to connect with his hip which jutted out to the side to recompense for the new position. "You saying I'm ugly?"
"Now you're just putting words in my mouth, idiot, I never said that. That you take it to mean something along those lines, though…there must be some truth in what you say, otherwise you would not have jumped to that self-deprecating notion. Now, to return to the point at hand, tell me what has you looking at me in a way that I fear for my well-being."
"What, are you scared of me?" Naruto brightened perceptibly and waggled his eyebrows in what he obviously thought was a dastardly and menacing manner. It only succeeded in making him seem like he suffered from a severe facial twitch.
"No. But I think merely being exposed to you for prolonged amounts of time are harmful to anyone's health. Don't get me wrong, Naruto, while insulting you doesn't ever seem to get old, I really wish you would just spit it out and leave me alone." Sasuke intoned, glaring slightly at the bemused expression that flashed across his friend's face.
"You want me to spit it out? Huh, I guess that would work. Just remember Sasuke, this was YOUR idea." And abruptly Naruto made a dive for Sasuke's face, attempting to grab him in a headlock.
"Naruto! What the—WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sasuke shouted scathingly, frantically trying to scrabble away from his demented partner. Sasuke ran through the possible causes for Naruto's display of insanity, ranging from thinking he had a death wish, to wondering if a bee happened to fly into his jumpsuit. Unfortunately for Sasuke, the once dependable tree he had been leaning against caught up his jacket in a tight embrace, the fibers coming loose on the rough bark. Stuck like a burr, Sasuke could only watch in horror as the blonde boy sitting on his lap stuck his thumb into his mouth, sucking for a second, before bringing out the digit, coated in a film of saliva. Sasuke's pupils dilated as the thumb was brought within a centimeter of his face before his reflexes came back to him and he squirmed, chin jutting out as he tried to avoid the impending doom by slobber.
Naruto grunted, prying the Uchiha's head from its locked position, using all of his strength to hold it still as his thumb came down to smear it across the bridge of his nose. "Ugh! Stop. Struggling. I'm just. helping you!" Finally Sasuke managed to wriggle his arms free and shoved the other boy off of him. Naruto went tumbling into the dirt.
"Damn it, Sasuke! What'd you do that for?" The indignation that colored his remark made the black haired boy's jaw drop open with an audible pop.
"What are you talking about? You're the one getting all of your gems on me! It's bad enough to have you so close, breathing in my face, but to go so far as to spit on me…that is where I draw the line. No, the line was crossed ages ago; in fact I can't even SEE the God damned line anymore because of how far we are from it! Explain yourself now, or I will see to it you have to sleep sideways for the rest of the month." Sasuke's eyes glittered dangerously.
"You had a bit of dirt on your damn nose!" Naruto shouted, hands balling into fists at his side.
Sasuke felt his perception of the whole situation falter.
All of that for a bit of dirt? Sasuke groaned under his breath, bringing his hand up to his forehead and proceeding to rub it tiredly for a few moments. "You attacked me in the name of my personal hygiene?"
"That's right!" Naruto tried to remain mad and fired up, but the expression of complete bewilderment on his companions face was too much. He doubled over laughing.
"I wouldn't be so quick to laugh, Uzumaki." The tone Sasuke took was light, but Naruto could sense the malicious sneakiness creeping into its gaps.
"Um, whaddya mean, Sasuke…?" Naruto gulped as Sasuke smirked.
"Just that that tumble you recently took has resulted in a very dirty ninja, one with dirt all over his face. And out of the kindness of my heart," here Sasuke's grin stretched even wider, "I will help you get it out."
Naruto fled, scampering through the streets of Konaha. Later, residents would wonder why dark haired boy raced after him, fingers slimy with saliva. Then again, this was the Hidden Leaf Village, and everyone had given up on the idea of normalcy long before. It was too much work keeping up false pretenses.