This is set post-Chosen. Xander's p.o.v

Disclaimer: My name is not Joss Whedon. I don't own the Buffyverse or any of its residents. Alas.

Hindsight
by Minlin

He still misses Anya naturally. He'd loved her, loves her, and thinks he'll always miss her. He cried at least once a day the first month after her death.

Now he only cries after the dream. The dream that has shown him the truth.

In the dream he's given a choice. He is able to bring someone back. He's told he can have the one he loves back returned from death.

So he chooses and then, when he wakes, cries tears of pain and loss.

Because every time, without fail, he doesn't choose Anya.

He chooses Spike.