DIRECTED BY CHRISTOPHER NOLAN*
*not really directed by Christopher Nolan
Summary: I received the first request for this fic finally, and I must say that now that I have a new computer I now have the ability to actually write it out. This request was from Tall Tails - Feline Jaye, and it was to create an Inception parody. How many levels of Manipulation do we need to go into? You have no idea how many story elevens there were supposed to be. Originally I had one in the making to make Harry a super BAMF, but didn't start it. Then I got the inception idea, but it seemed too serious so I made it into story twelve, then I made another story eleven, but it was also too serious, so I felt I had to drop it. All I can say is thinking about what to do with story eleven was a complete bitch.
Dumbledore needed to make absolutely sure that Harry was loyal to him. So naturally he decided to manipulate the boy through some convoluted plan. So he decided that he would implant the idea into Harry's mind to be completely loyal to him through the use of a reverse pensive. It hadn't really been that hard to get Harry to use at all.
Albus Dumbledore was currently standing in the mind of Harry Potter. Well not literally standing inside Harry's mind because that would be disgusting. And Dumbledore would have to be really really tiny.
Anyways so Dumbledore had absolutely no idea what to do. Why because he is a man and real men don't read the manual. Especially old men. Why because manuals are for women and idiots that's why. So naturally he figured he'd just go as deep as he could (lol) and convince Harry's subconscious mind to obey him without question.
Dumbledore then realized he was surrounded by completely nothing. He was in a white room with a limitless ceiling and endless walls.
"Harry are you here?" Dumbledore asked. There was no reply. The old wizard decided to turn around. There was a door. Naturally Dumbledore went inside. There was yet another empty endless whitewashed room with a door on the other end. Seeing as he had nothing better to do Dumbledore entered that door. This room was the same as the others, save that a book standing on a table in the middle.
Dumbledore walked up to it. It was as blank as the two rooms he had just been in. Well wasn't the human mind full of surprises and intrigue? It was a well known fact that Albus Dumbledore was a smart cookie, and was very prone to making correct guesses from little information. Assuming the other doors had been entrances to different levels of consciousness, then he could guess that the book in front of him would be used to implant an idea by writing in the book. Then Dumbledore realized something. He didn't have a quill. His great master plan was foiled.
Summary: Not really funny, it's kind of a dark humor that you sarcastically laugh at at the end because you know it should be funny. Still an inception parody, though only at the end. Actually Tall Tails wanted a manipulation inside a manipulation, but it just wasn't funny. So this is what I came up with. Sorry it's not as funny as you would have hoped for.
"Harry you manipulative bastard you ruined my life!" Ronald Weasley yelled in anger at his former best friend as he prepared to put an end to this needless war once and for all.
"How Ron? How did I destroy your life? Was it because I am responsible for Ginny's death? It's her fault she decided to stay with me, she knew the death eaters would target her! It's not my fault that the rest of your family died trying to help me fight Voldemort!" Harry replied as he took stock of the damage surrounding the now empty and ruined Hogwarts grounds. There had been several battle here since Voldemort's fall, though none nearly as spectacular as the first. The death eaters had refused to go down without a fight, and now two years later the various engagements had destroyed the once grand building, its magical protections rendered useless by the attacks it had suffered. Oddly fitting that the former savior of the wizarding world would fight his once best friend in the same school that had helped build their friendship.
"All this time I thought you were my friend, I should have known you just wanted more pawns to sacrifice in the war! The blood of my family, of Hermione, and everyone else who fought for you is on your hands Harry!" Ron yelled as he waited for an opportune moment to attack the young man who was likely now the most powerful wizard in existence.
"None of this is my fault Ron! Blame bloody fucking Voldemort! He manipulated so many people during the war that no one would stop fighting! None of this is my fault! I loved Ginny, and your family treated me more like family than my own aunt and uncle! Ron, Hermione was practically my sister!" Harry pleaded. Ron might now be hell bent on killing him, but a part of Harry just couldn't stand to kill the man who used to be not only his best friend, but was also to be his best man and brother in law before Ginny's death.
"Of course none of this is your fault! It never is! It's always Voldemort's fault or Fudge's fault! You had everyone deceived Harry, even me. I'm just sad it took me so long to see the truth." Ron finished as he drew his wand and prepared to fight the boy-who-lived.
"I don't want to fight you Ron..." Was all Harry could say before Ron attacked with a cutting curse. Harry cast a quick shield charm.
"Was this what it felt like for Dumbledore to fight Grindelwald? To fight your once best friend? Damn it all to hell!" Harry though as he cast a full body bind curse on Ron.
The redhead dodged the attack with ease.
"Come on Potter, don't have the bollocks to get down and dirty? You were always too weak to do things yourself weren't you? You couldn't even kill Him like a man!" Ron yelled as he pushed the attack.
"No, what have I done, it wasn't supposed to end like this, it wasn't supposed to end like this!" Harry yelled in his thoughts. He stayed on the defensive, casting shield charms and summoning pieces of stone from around the rubble to protect himself. "What did I do wrong? I wish Dumbledore were..." The revelation hit him so hard he almost forgot to protect himself as a reducto was sent towards him.
Harry needed to end this fight fast. He poured all of him magic into the next full body bind curse and unleashed it at Ron. The redhead's shield was destroyed by the overpowered spell. The spell held so much power inside it that it not only stopped his limbs from moving, but it stopped every muscle in his body, his heart, his lungs, his bowels, and even the blood which flowed through his veins. For all intents and purposes Ron was in stasis.
Harry however was currently distracted by his recent revelation. Everything stemmed from Dumbledore. When Harry had been manipulated by Fudge, Dumbledore had likely been the puppeteer pulling the strings. Dumbledore was the man who was manipulating Voldemort the whole time. It all made sense, Dumbledore needed an evil man who would scare the wizards into reforming society. It all made sense, Dumbledore had manipulated Voldemort, who had manipulated Lucius, who had manipulated Fudge, who in turn had tried to manipulate Harry. And Dumbledore had manipulated Harry directly, forcing the boy into manipulating his best friends and their families into fighting a war and dying for the greater good. Dumbledore had manipulated people, who then manipulated others, who then manipulated some poor sucker.
Dropped Story:Well you lucky folks get to see what was going to be story eleven. It wasn't funny enough, so I dropped it before it was finished. But I put too much into it to just drop it so here we go, if any of you want to take it go right on ahead, I'll give this out for free, no questions asked, just give a shout out to me.
Dumbledore looked at the sleeping form of Harry Potter in front of him. Dumbledore needed to make sure the boy would follow through on his plans, and there was only one way to do that, by implanting a memory into Harry's unconscious mind and allowing it to take form. He didn't know why he was doing this, he practically controlled the boy already, but it seemed like a good back up plan in case Tom were to use his connection to the boy to alter them any further.
The ancient wizard put his wand to the boy's head . The world around Dumbledore shifted, and he entered the boy's dreams.
The first thing Dumbledore noticed was that he was staring at the recently deceased Cedric Diggory. Only the dearly departed was no sparkling.
"Mr. Diggory have you seen Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked politely.
"Why does everyone keep calling me that, my name is Edward!" Not Cedric replied in what should have been a whiny voice. Except there was no emotion in the voice. And he had somehow gained an American accent.
"I am sorry Edward, have you seen Harry?" Dumbledore asked.
"Probably in the closet hiding from me." The Cedric impersonator replied and walked away. Dumbledore noticed then that the sunlight hit him and he sparkled. Of course Potter was in the closet, he had been kept in there by his uncle his whole life. Dumbledore would need to ask Harry just what this dream was about later.
Dumbledore entered a house that looked vaguely like a combination of the burrow and his current residency. Dumbledore had some trouble finding the closet. It felt like an hour before he found the familiar closet.
"Hello professor, are they gone?" Harry asked from behind the door.
"Who?" Dumbledore responded.
"The vampires who sparkle. They're really scarey. Voldemort put them in here to torture me for the rest of my life. If I stay in here they wont find me. I'm scared sir." Harry replied in a voice that sounded too young.
Perhaps this is some sort of psychological protection to keep Voldemort out. Dumbledore hypothesized. It made him feel sorry for the boy. And he would make things right in time, but currently he couldn't do anything other than complete his mission for the greater good.
"May I come in Harry?" Dumbledore asked.
"Uncle Vernon wont let me out." The boy stated.
"I assure you your uncle will not be able to do anything to you while I am around." Dumbledore promised the younger version of the boy. The door opened a little. Contrary to what Dumbledore had assumed, Harry stepped out of the closet in his current age of fifteen.
"Thank you sir." Harry said in a voice that seemed appropriate for his age.
"For what?" Dumbledore asked.
"For helping me come out of the closet sir, now we need to go help Ginny, she's trapped in the chamber of secrets, if I don't get to her soon enough she'll get hurt again." Harry said. Arguing with the dream logic of the boy was useless. It would either wake him up or disrupt the dream too much.
"I agree, do you happen to know where the chamber is Harry?" The old wizard asked.
"Down those stairs sir." Harry replied with fear in his voice as he pointed to the flight of stair leading downward which had not previously been there.
"Ah yes. I believe we should hurry then, I doubt Miss Weasley will appreciate us talking here for much longer." The ancient wizard simply stated as if it were an ordinary occurrence. The duo headed down the stairs.
If Dumbledore wanted to go further into Harry's mind then he needed to wait until the boy was significantly distracted enough until he could enter further into the boy's conscious without arousing suspicion. A battle against a basilisk would be very distracting. Unfortunately for Dumbledore there was not giant snake, nor even the dark lord himself, but a scantily clad Cho Chang and Ginny Weasley. This couldn't end well for either of them. In all of Dumbledore's long life there were few things he hadn't done. But experiencing the fantasies of another teenage boy was not something he wanted to see. Especially considering he was old enough to be their great great grandfather. But it would give him an opportunity to enter the distracted boy's mind.
Except that the boy really didn't have a clue as to what to do, so it degenerated into instinctive knowledge, which meant that any semblance of reality was going to be lost soon if Dumbledore didn't act now.
He pushed into the hormone driven boy's mind and went deeper before anything could happen. For that the old wizard was grateful. Right until he got smacked in the face with a bludger. Dobby was standing in front of Harry.
"I am sorry Professor Dumbledore sir! Dobby didn't mean to hurt you! Dobby is a bad elf!" The eccentric house elf said before beginning to punish himself.
"Dobby no wait it's alright you don't have to." Dumbledore said.
"Sir... I'm afraid." Harry said.
"Afraid of what my boy?" Dumbledore asked.
"This is where he comes back." Harry said.
Yeah so sorry for the long update guys. It's not like I have hundreds of fans so I don't think there are too many disappointed people. Next chapter is halo related. YAY.