Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.
A/N: "Tsukigomori" (Confined Moon) was the title of the drama that Skip Beat! uses to find Ren's affection for Kyoko. When I found out the translation I just had to have it. One of the scanlations translated it as "Cloudy Moon", possibly to make the transition to "Dark Moon" seem more sensible, but...this is so much more morose. And I love it.
What had Soichiro done to deserve this?
Lawliet's skin was pale as butter and just as slippery under his body. His hands grappled with the boy's arms for grip, only to be defeated by his lips moving relentlessly over his collarbone, to the shoulder and down to the heart...Soichiro fell back, allowing the younger brunet to bite at the nub there, his teeth worrying at it, Soichiro's arms shifting through his hair. Moans as tangled as the sheets around their bodies heated things up until Lawliet couldn't take it anymore, he threw his arms around Soichiro's neck and whispered, "Please."
Spectacles still on, Soichiro's heart slipped away from him and into Lawliet's warm hands. They caressed his neck.
"Ryuuzaki." The false name still fell from his lips easily, because L wasn't a man Soichiro would have sex with. Soichiro winced. There had been a time when there was no man he would have sex with, this faithful father of two. Lawliet felt his hesitation (ever the same, like clockwork) and methodically deprived him of doubts by kissing his cheeks, then his forehead, then his lips.
It was a nod to the clandestine fate of their affair that Lawliet never slipped into a more familiar form of address no matter how familiar they got with each other. A warm hand rested on a warm thigh and Soichiro closed his eyes as Lawliet took his glasses away.
"You're so handsome, Yagami-san..."
Soichiro had never quite understood the concept of sweet nothings until this guy had been dropped into his lap (hah, don't say a word). Hardly a match for Lawliet in witty repartee, Soichiro made it up to him by rocking his world. He dished out kisses like they were going to stop making them, groping Lawliet's waist and licking at his belly button. He hadn't considered himself a memorable lover until Lawliet told him he was. Sachiko had never mentioned...but she'd never felt...
"So good, Yagami-san..."
"Ryuuzaki, please don't say such forced words."
A tiny movement wrenched them apart so that Lawliet's flat eyes could stare at Soichiro's. "They are not forced at all."
"They sound forced." Soichiro tried to lean in, bringing the boy back into his arms, but Lawliet spurned him with that indomitable gaze.
"They are not."
Soichiro was bold and assured. He could overcome this impasse for the sake of getting laid. He nodded and moved to place the obligatory apology kiss on Lawliet's lips. The brunet jerked away. The police chief (not in here he isn't) puckered his forehead.
"Could it be that you are offended...?"
"There's no helping it," the boy actually rolled out of bed and stood, hands groping for his clothes in the darkness of the windowless room, "I was under the impression that you were not an idiot. You seem hell bent on proving me wrong. I have no reason to fake anything with you."
Soichiro wasn't going to let him do this. For Lawliet's warm embrace, for the feel of him clenched around his cock he had turned his back on everything he considered to be pure and good and moral. He had turned his back on his family for this! L had to take responsiblity for Soichiro's infidelity. He leapt out from under the sheets and put his arms around the younger man, placing kisses on the pale marble shoulder.
"You're being cruel."
Bold, assured. Bold, assured. Soichiro was the adult, but he was putty in Lawliet's hands. He was new to this too. Sachiko never walked away in the middle of sex. But they'd never really talked, then...
(It was probably time he stopped comparing his wife with his lover.)
Soichiro felt childish and foolish and other kinds of oddish.
"Ryuuzaki, I'm sorry! Please feel free to say whatever you like to me!"
"Certainly, I already do. I need neither your permission nor your approval." The marble shoulder shrugged off Soichiro's lips; they next tried consoling his neck with the aid of a hot tongue.
"Then come back to bed."
"Yagami-san, is that all you can think of?"
Like a bitch! How could he say that? Implying that Soichiro was some kind of horny dog that slept with Lawliet for his body alone so casually, as if it was true! Soichiro was a good guy, he didn't need this shit. Lawliet turned, his sickle moon face sickly with anticipation. Soichiro stared at him until the boy took his hand and sighed forever.
"Yagami-san, I'm sorry. I should expect so much of you..."
What the hell? "And what is that supposed to mean?"
"I didn't think you'd freeze up," like a coward, "I thought you'd snap back. Police officer's pride. I was counting on it." So, basically, Soichiro had disappointed him and he was shameless. Fantastic. Turn the goddamn tables right now, okay?
No, wait. I have a better idea. Instead of refusing Lawliet's insulting advances, Soichiro took the initiative (just like back in boot camp! But for different rewards) and pushed him onto the bed, sliding a hand between his thighs and pulling one of the brunet's legs up for better purchase. Then he went down on him.
Lawliet gasped. "What are you doing!"
"Dragging you into an orgasm," Soichiro growled. Not that further elaboration was required; Lawliet raised a hand to cover the sensual sounds coming from his mouth as Soichiro worked his mouth between his legs. A deep burn started in Lawliet's belly and he sang out, convulsing restlessly.
"Yagami-san," it was a minute later with the sheets covering their naked bodies, "You're too good to me."
"Mm? You think so?" Soichiro chased Lawliet's hand over his chest and caught it. "I could tone it down if you like."
"If Yagami-san promises not to lose his temper I want to ask something."
It was as vocal a commitment as he could make at the moment. L tossed in bed to face him, taking back his hand. "You were upset just now but...well, if it isn't for the sex, why is Yagami-san with me? I am someone who distracted you from your family, your duty...shouldn't you hate me?"
Soichiro lay on his back with his arms crossed above his head, staring at the ceiling. "I don't think you know me as well as you think. The Yagami Soichiro in your mind might be like that...but in reality, I don't blame you for my lapse of judgment."
"Lapse of judgment..." Lawliet's tongue fucked his ear. "That is what I am."
Soichiro let him have his way, and then pulled him into a mechanical kiss. "It's not just the sex."
"The invigorating conversation?" There was a perk to his lips as he said that though, so Soichiro didn't take it seriously.
"I continue to remain a man weak to temptation day in and day out because I feel responsible for you, Ryuuzaki. Perhaps if I had been more competent, more trusting of you before I saw you, we would've caught Kira and there would be no need for you to risk your life by revealing yourself to my team. However...I feel also that if you hadn't revealed yourself, it would be a crying shame. That means six fewer people would know of the existence of someone like you."
"Whose words sound forced now I wonder..."
"I said I apologize," Soichiro chuckled heavily, "And these are no more forced than yours. You deserve to be seen, Ryuuzaki."
"A recalcitrant genius, they called me the last time I was attended university. The world does not wish to look upon me, Yagami-san. They prefer me to stay here in the dark."
"Perhaps these are my personal feelings," mused Soichiro, allowing Lawliet time to kiss his fingertips, "Like one that is accustomed to watching the moon would find the sky barren without it, when I walk outside and see people who will never watch you...I find their state quite piteous."
"You rouse me." The dark, sweet voice was low and rumbling. "In more ways than one."
"You flatter me." The returning whisper, purring and pleased. "Your praise is particularly glowing because it is personal."
Smiling like an emperor of the night, Soichiro said, "You're free to return the favor."
And got shot down by a prompt, "I shouldn't lie to you, right?"
"You little rascal," scowled Soichiro handsomely, "Making fun of an old man, eh?"
Lawliet sighed in reply and drew his foot over the father's leg. One hand ran over his groin, ruffling the coarse hair. The other rested on Soichiro's shoulder. There was something melancholic about this boy, something sophisticated that Soichiro couldn't touch no matter what. It was the same with his Light (in vastly! Different! Ways! A straying husband a perverted father does not make). Genius boys were hard to come by and harder to understand. Some days Soichiro thought that despite Light making him prouder than he had ever been in his life, he'd have preferred a boy that occasionally failed at life. If only so Soichiro could teach him something. Feeling redundant did not sit well with the militant man. Not as a father, not as a lover. He gathered Lawliet into himself and bit his jaw.
Surprisingly, this provoked an unprecendented response: Lawliet sat bolt upright as if he'd been stung and straddled Soichiro's lap, his fingers rubbing the skin of his babe's cock, waiting at half-mast. Diving into a careless kiss, Lawliet drew blood from Soichiro's lower lip, and the man grabbed his ass in a futile attempt to slow him down.
"What's the hurry, Ryuuzaki!"
"We don't have very much time, Yagami-san," the boy was going red from his exertions, his shocking need.
Untouched by this stunning revelation, Soichiro grappled with Lawliet to calm him. "You're dying?"
"The case will end. Some day or the other, won't it end?"
Yes, and after that Lawliet would fly to some European country for a change of weather. Light would study hard and Sayu would grow up and Sachiko would smile as Soichiro began to be available once more for family dinners. Kira's capture would be the swansong to their romance.
Soichiro allowed him to resume his frantic pace.
"We'd better make every time count, hmm?"
Lawliet was polite enough to not speak with his mouth full.
It really was a crying shame, for something this divine to be locked away. What was even more sinful was that Lawliet didn't recognize how beautiful he was, how he should wander the world and lighten some streets with his presence. It was his responsiblity. But Soichiro was afraid that if he said any of this he would again be accused of sleeping with Lawliet for the body alone. Lawliet was more than sex and responsibility. He was the one of the few people Soichiro felt he could be understood by. Basalt eyes lapped up his every thought, it seemed. And while the older man had to admit it made him sad that no one would enjoy watching Lawliet like he did, he had also to admit that being privileged in such a way was something he could definitely get used to.
If given the time.
I thought I was prepared but looking back I wonder if everything they said is something they would say. It suits my perception of these men. And yours?