11ATTENTION: CHAPTER 3 WAS REWRITTEN
Disclaimer : I don't own anything except my OC's and the plotline.
JIMMIE
I stood at the edge of the roof and breathed in deeply. Ever since Morgan died there's been a feeling in my chest like I can't breathe right. Like I'm slowly suffocating, getting deeper and deeper into this hole that I've created and the light is a mere speck that I can't even dream of ever seeing again. I was surprised to feel a tear roll down my face. I wiped it away quickly and kept myself from letting the others fall. I unbuttoned the cuff of my sleeve and hastily rolled it up, pulling the razor from it's spot behind the safe guard of my phone and let out a slow breath. The blade pressed to my skin and I slid it across. Once. Twice. Three times. It sliced through and that euphoric feeling tingled throughout my entire body.
For a second, I was no longer at school. I was in one of my good dreams, the one where Morgan and I would sit and talk about nothing for hours. The one where both she and I are clean. No scars, no pain. I let myself have this rare moment of happiness because it's all I have.
A cough behind me breaks me out of my reverie and I turn, hiding my arm behind my back quickly. I was relieved that it was only Mike.
"Whatcha doing Zara?" he smirked. I glare at him, taking some Kleenex out of my bag and wiping the blood off my forearm before pulling out a big bandage and covering the stinging scars. He lifts is arm in mock surrender, a cigarette visible between his fingers.
"Why are you here?" I snap.
"Well, before you flatter yourself, there are no camera's up here. And I come here during free period to smoke my stogie. Sometimes something a little stronger." he winked. I raised a brow and snorted, reaching for the recently lit cigarette when he offered and taking a drag.
"Stronger?" I ask, thinking he wouldn't be that rebellious as to smoke weed in school. Then it I realize, it really isn't a big deal.
"Yep. I have some on me. Want some?" he asks, exhaling the toxic smoke. It's sorely tempting but I shake my head. He simply shrugs, handing me the cig again. "Suit yourself." We stay in a comfortable silence for a while, both deciding to skip out on third and fourth hour, seeing as being up here was a lot better than being stuck in a classroom with a teacher I don't listen to and people I don't like. Then I remember what he said in the bathroom earlier today.
"Hey Mike.." I say, hesitant to break the silence.
"Hmm?" he says, looking up from the Tetris game he had started playing on his phone about 20 minutes ago.
"When you said it got better.. Where you telling the truth?" I asked. He thought for a second.
"I think better was the wrong word." he started, "I think… I think bearable would be the better term." I nodded and looked down.
"If you don't mind my asking.. When did it start for you?" I ask, looking straight at his icy green eyes. They were so full of emotion, of hurt behind the wall of hardness he's put up. It's there, clear as day. I wonder if anyone has taken the time to notice it..
"About a few years ago.. It got worse when.." he stopped short, breaking eye contact.
"When what?" I ask. He shook his head and stood.
"Never mind." he said, grabbing his backpack and starting to walk off. The heavy feeling was coming back, it was getting more difficult to breathe with every step he took. It's been so long since I've felt comfortable with someone. He knew my secret.. He didn't judge me. But now he was walking away and for some reason I didn't even want to think about handling it. I ignored the pain jolting through my body as I took long strides to catch up with him. I caught his arm and turned him to face me, turmoil boiled in his eyes.
"I won't judge you.." I say, he snorts and looks away. I roll my eyes. "Look at me." I growl. His eyes snap to mine, hope surfacing behind the intense green chaos. "I. Will. Not. Judge. You." he sighed and pulled his arm from my grip.
"You want to know why I even tried to make contact with you? To help you?" I nodded cautiously. "It became worse for me when my dad found out I liked guys too okay?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise but said nothing, "when I saw the way you became a few weeks ago, I knew something was wrong. You were like the school's personal fucking sun dude. People gravitated towards you. And it's like lately you've dimmed. You're not as happy, as bright. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a physical attraction to you. But when you got quiet, I was worried. I've never been fucking worried for someone outside my immediate group of friends in my life. And when I saw you're dad walk out of the bathroom all pissed off and then heard you throwing up, I knew what he did. I knew because it's happened to me so many times." he finished, breathing heavily. I tried to find words, anything to say to let him know I didn't judge him, that his confession wasn't in vain, but the words wouldn't make it out of my mouth. He looked expectant and when I said nothing, he sighed turning to walk away
"No wait!" I say, reaching for his arm again. I couldn't lose him. Something in me told me I couldn't. I didn't want to. I've never been attracted to guys but he's different. I won't lose him, not when the feeling is this strong. He looks at me and his eyes are a mix of all kinds of emotions. My heart rate speeds up as my hand tentatively reaches up to brush his cheek. He lets out a breath and I look at his lips, debating whether I should do this or not. My stomach clenches in a strange, wonderfully painful way as I lean closer, knowing that I have to. That I want to. My lips brush his and he stays still, letting me take control and something in me breaks.
He's being submissive. I've been the submissive for so long, in everything. I press harder, molding my lips to his, willing him to open them as I delve into his mouth. I pull away when the need for air is too much and his eyes are somewhat glazed over, lips red and bruised.
"Come somewhere with me." he breathes. And I nod.
"Okay."
Welp. That was unexpected. I meant for Mike to not be a big character here but… well you read it right? Not sure how this will play out now but Scottie will be a big part as well. That part is forsure. What do you think?
Links for Mike and Scottie on my profile.