Chapter 4: A lions' den
It seemed completely awkward to look at her intended without blushing, mainly because she remembered the reason why they were going to get married.. God, it's the sex part... Natsuki grimaced, the silence in here was suffocating for heard some shuffling, but didn't dare look up, who knew what temptation was standing there... a body so damn beautiful, one deserving of careful worshipping and... No! She shook her head, this is so not a time for pervert me to come out!
"What is your pretty head thinking of?" Natsuki looked up, eyes wide and face flushed.
Her brows furrowed, "Nothing.." Pretty...? God... she's like those people who don't even try... She felt warm inside, like she drank hot coffee and it reacted as a thick sweater. It made her feel good. Shizuru didn't need to know what was swimming through her mind. No, definitely not... or she would be embarrassed.
Her heart beats sounded loud in her ears, she was throbbing everywhere, from the tips of her fingers, to her feet. Suddenly, Natsuki blurted out, "You're beautiful!" A distant pain in her hands barely registered to the sight of a smile curling those lips so alluringly.. Beautiful is right... Natsuki pulled herself together, what a basic impulse. The action surprised herself. God, what were their parents thinking?
Besides, they were alone... the two of them, Natsuki regarded Shizuru with a warm glint in her eyes. I finally lost my mind, I'm probably dreaming... "What.." Her voice was rough, and silky. "...Do you think our parents are wondering about us?"
The insinuation didn't go unnoticed by the heiress, who rose an eyebrow in curiosity and slight shock. Then, a mischievous gleam entered her eyes as she sat by Natsuki.. and leaned in. "Oh..? And what do you suppose we should ... do?" The blue-haired girl swallowed, her mouth dry at the distance between them and their mouths.
Speak you idiot! Her mouth opened and closed, "Umm.." My goodness, it seems she stole away my-
Shizuru claimed her lips softly in a kiss, they stayed like that for a while. Savoring the contact of her mouth, Natsuki pushed her fingers through soft buttery hair and held back a moan. Arms pulled her close, blood rushed quickly. Hello heaven.. and goodbye earth...
"Hey, Shizuru, what are you doing today-" The voice was familiar to Shizuru, but she ignored the hindrance and pulled her soon-to be wife closer, forcing the girl in her lap. She needed more, this wasn't enough. Not enough for the fire that carried on a storm in her body, it wasn't nearly enough.. any other kisses couldn't color her world behind her eyes like it did now. Goodness, she's better than any expectation. Oh...
That's when she heard the sad sound, a sob... her head flew to the side to see tears falling from her friends' eyes. Nao... shit... Shizuru pushed off Natsuki, her expression one of pleading. She stood up, "Please... understand me, Natsuki.." And left after her friend.
Natsuki groaned at that particular memory, if it felt right then, it was a wrong action on their part. But some small part of her reveled in the soft contact, the silky hair and heated flesh when she held Shizuru's neck to- Don't go there... not now.. she just blew you off two days ago. Her ego was bruised, and she was frustrated, yet she didn't want to apologize for something that happened if there was a willingness to continue. It just didn't right with her.
But... what if we weren't interrupted? She shook her head, they just met - they were still new to each others' attitudes and expressions. Not nearly long enough to tell secrets nor were they on that intimate level she knew would come sooner. If they had continued, there would only be lust and consequences - along with self-pity for the weak might they had against hormones.
She was about to continue on with her thoughts, but a knock on the door told her to hold it off for another time when she was alone.
"Come in," The blue-haired girl whispered, almost filled with relief as her mother entered, who seemed curious as to what felt so off about her daughters aura.
"What's wrong, 'suki?" Saeko's expression was one of genuine concern and Natsuki flung herself at her mother, eyes tearing and lips trembling; seeking the motherly comfort.
All she could bring up was a choked sob, and the gates were unlocked. Tears blurred her vision, throat stinging with the emotional influence. "I-I.. don't know anymore Mother, s-she won't speak to me... like I'm some..." plague... Natsuki finished, the last of the sentence unspoken but implied.
The strong arms tightened around her, "People give, people take. In life, we're going to get hurt sooner or later, Natsuki. Did you confront her about your... newly developed feelings? Did you see if she felt the same? If not, give her time and space and she'll come to you, don't worry `suki, I have every faith in you that life will be alright."
"Thanks..mama." Natsuki sighed, a small smile on her lips. Maybe this is the beginning, the kick of fate for us... but... A worrying thought came to her, who says we have to marry? Natsuki frowned, pulling back from the embrace, (as much as she wanted to continue this moment with her mother; she did have an image to uphold) she didn't know what she was going to say when Shizuru will come to her.
Saeko ruffled her daughters' hair, the corner of her eyes crinkling as she smiled in amusement. "Don't worry, you're too young to worry about love yet.." Oh, there are many types of love, Natsuki...
Natsuki shook her head and laughed jovially, "Like that'll happen to me…." But the implications staggered her. Love...? Is that was this'll be...? Me and Shizuru..married and happy. Then she thought about the consummation part and blushed about the part, it was easy to imagine love between her and Shizuru, she'll have my children and...than what? We grow old and die, our children mature and carry on this line.. god, I'm so confused…just what do I feel for Shizuru? Bringing back her composure, she turned to her mother, "I'd like some time to myself to think...I'll eat later.."
Saeko looked thoughtful before nodding. "Alright, I'll leave you alone for now.." She glanced suspiciously at Natsuki and left her daughter to her own thoughts.
Shizuru and I.. Natsuki rubbed her arms to regain the fading warmth, she didn't want to be alone. It wasn't a way to live, or to have such a bleak future when life.. was so full of surprises, but only if you allowed it to happen... Well, this was a start to a bad day.
Hmm, at least my fiancée isn't too bad on the eyes. Looking back at their adventure, she smiled. Such a long way from home to here..
Shizuru grabbed her friend before she could escape again, and held her trembling frame close. "Don't leave me, Nao.. you promised you'd be there for me when I needed you."
The red-head turned around, plying her arms away and glared at Shizuru. "You need me..? Ha, that's a joke if I ever heard one. I'm your maid, you're also obligated to care for me. But we're friends, so it makes much more complicated now-"
"Shut up, you don't know…" Shizuru panted, running after Nao took its toll. "You don't see things as they are because you deny everything. What about then, Nao? Did you ever really care about me?"
Damn... she hated how she sounded selfish and so greedy.. Shizuru shook her head, "I wasn't pushing you away, in fact, it was the exact opposite. Nao...come here, please," her voice hitched in her attempt to keep the tears at bay. Don't leave me not when you are the one in need….
Nao crossed her arms over her chest and cautiously walked from the heiress. "What now? After what happened, I bet your lover is wondering why you abandoned her. You're stupid, Shizuru, so stupid.." She shook her head and sighed... But I guess it's why I love you.
Too caught up in her thoughts, she tripped, her arms flailed, and she grabbed the only thing near her- the only person who she brought down on top of her. Shizuru... Her breath caught, "S-Shizuru.." Nao stuttered, a flush on her cheek and it went downwards. An indication as to how effected she was by the proximity of Shizuru on top of her. Heck, try anywhere near me.. Nao glanced into those eyes- feeling like a prey to a viper. Her pulse sped up, she could feel the sweat on her back and stomach. God, did the room temperature go up?
"I've always needed..you, Nao..." Shizuru's voice was hoarse, the red-head could feel that gaze travelling down her body before it was on her face … again.
A hand caressed her cheek, Nao didn't dare speak in case if it would break this magical moment. Her hand covered Shizuru's, rubbing a thumb in circular motions on her wrist and she could feel her friend tremble. Even her breath changed from calm to ragged intakes.
The scent of Shizuru grew stronger, almost overwhelming. Nao felt as though she had depersonalization disorder. Stop her! You don't want this, nor does she... But she felt powerless under her friends' enchantment. Stop.. please... She must have spoken that out loud for the surprised look she received.
"You don't want this, Shizuru …. I can see it in your eyes.." That statement threw her out of her daze of confusion.
Shizuru remembered the way Nao escaped her grasp, and ran away from her. I'm sorry, Nao.. The first wave of sadness hit her, making her realize everything had to be corrected. She started this.. mess.
But it didn't help that she was torn with confusion of what she felt for Natsuki and Nao.
The kiss between her and Natsuki pushed her forward, while she had a longer friendship with Nao - she couldn't risk it... With Natsuki, it was like a veil over her face, obscuring her vision on which what decision was good or bad.
Sighing, Shizuru got up and exited her bedroom, needing the fresh air to clear her mind and calm her nerves down. Maybe that'll help... after all, it had been two days since seeing either of them... She bit her lip, frowning, I'm such a coward...running away from this problem instead of correcting it.
Sometimes, she just wished life was more simpler in its lessons.
"But then, that would be no fun in solving its mysteries."
Yeah, then I'll be married to Natsuki in a month... surely that's plenty of time to explore our relationship...? Her eyes dimmed, if there was a slim possibility of that happening. Natsuki was the exact opposite of her tastes. Of the type of person she wanted to love, but then, she realized, I would only be in love with the image...hurting me and her in the process.. Shizuru wondered why she acted so hasty and petty as to assume love would develop right away.
If their circumstances weren't as serious or direct, Shizuru was sure they would become friends.
Hmm, what a good idea. We should start as friends, it'll build a foundation of trust and knowledge.
Sorry for not updating sooner, was quite busy. *-*
And... this chapter isn't the best. :/
So never mind the plot mistakes. It's been a while since writing I still need to warm up. ^^