To Say Goodbye
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story or the world in which they belong to, that honor goes to Mr. George Lucas.
Summary: Obi-Wan and Satine say their farewells for a second time...
Authors Note: Thanks to all of you who read my story and especially to those of you who took the time to review, I appreciate it very much! Here is the last part of this little tale, hope you enjoy! And again your comments and reviews are very much welcomed and appreciated!
Satine gently clasped both hands in front of her, "First of all I just want to thank you for the services you rendered me...again. Without your help I would have never made it to Coruscant to make our plea and this whole plot and cover up would never have been revealed. So on behalf of Mandalore and myself I offer you my most sincere gratitude Master Kenobi".
Obi-Wan inclined his head in appreciation and waited for her to continue.
With a small sigh she glanced away momentarily from him, then clearing her throat she began: "Now that official business is taken care of, let me get to why I am really here. The other day you told me that I would be wise to let my friends help me, rather then trying to push them away. After you left I thought about your words and I realized I had not been entirely fair or gracious with you and I am sorry for it".
At Obi-Wan's bemused expression Satine took a breath and tried to make her point understood.
"What I mean to say is that you were right...I was not allowing my friends to help me and the outcome could have been disastrous, and being one of those friends, I was unkind to you. I apologize if I made you feel slighted in the least bit and despite my reservations on this war I still have the utmost regard and respect for you and your Order".
At this Obi-Wan smiled, "Consider yourself forgiven Milady, after all what are friends for?"
A soft laugh escaped Satine as she gazed fondly at Obi-wan, "I see somethings never change", she said smiling at him once more.
Trying to hide his own amusement he merely raised his eyebrow, attempting to appear as though he did not know of what she referred to.
As they sat there in companionable silence Satine's features became wistful, suddenly letting out a sad sigh she looked away from Obi-Wan. In a low voice she spoke, as if to herself, "We made the right decision all those years ago...yet part of me sometimes wonders what might have been".
All amusement gone from his demeanor, Obi-Wan shook his head.
"To dwell on what might have been can only bring uncertainty, and regret. It serves no purpose and one is better off focusing on the here and now" he said firmly.
Turning back to look at him, her eyes alight with irritation she stood and quickly moved away from him.
"Save me your Jedi platitudes, I'm not one and therefore don't need to abide by them!"
Giving him an icy glare she turned her back on him and gazed out the window.
Dawn was already making its presence known, its light tendrils creeping across the gray sky.
She could hear as Obi-Wan stood from the couch, but he made no move to walk towards her.
"Forgive me if I have offended you Milady, it was not my intent" he said softly, but she could hear the sincerity in his voice.
"Sometimes, all one has are the memories and the 'what if's' that make a decision made...bearable. I will not have you fault me for that Master Kenobi" she replied, gentler then before.
She waited for his response, but none seemed forthcoming so she turned to regard him.
He stood with his arms crossed across his chest, his gaze directed at the floor as though he was lost in his own memory.
"Had I asked you to leave the Order and to remain with me, it would have been unfair to us both. It would have also been a selfish act on my part and I loved you too much to do that to you. What is done is done, yes. We chose our paths and walk them willingly now, but do not tell me that I cannot look back at something that meant so much to me or indulge in the possibilities of what could have been. I am only human after all and do not have the luxury of having the discipline of a Jedi to let go. Perhaps you can disregard that time so easily, but I cannot and will not" her soft voice bringing him out of his contemplations.
He brought his hand up to his face and tugged slightly on his beard as he looked at her.
"I assure you Satine, I have never disregarded that time in my life with you nor what it meant to me either. It meant as much to me as it did to you, all I am trying to say is don't let yourself forget why we gave up what we did. By trying to always live in the past you forget to live in the present" he said, his voice quiet but commanding.
Letting out a harsh breath Satine moved a step in his direction.
"Force Obi-Wan stop trying to make me out to be this deranged women who cannot let go of the past! I know what we had is gone and I'm well aware why we gave it up everyday, but by looking back at that time and the possibilities that could have come with it helps us to better appreciate what we shared and also what we have now. By trying to deny what was and what could have been you merely deny a part of yourself and that is never advisable. Don't you ever find yourself remembering the good times?" her soft voice hiding none of the intensity behind her reply.
"Yes I cannot deny that there were good times, nor do I wish to forget them, but all good things must come to an end"
Satine shook her head in vexation, "Ever the pessimist Obi-Wan" she said with a hint of mirth.
"I prefer pragmatic".
"Indeed" she retorted.
As she looked at him her expression softened.
"Yes, Obi-Wan, all good things come to an end, but please remember that so too must the bad" she said softly.
He raised an eyebrow not quite sure of her meaning.
With another shake of her head she drew closer to him until she was standing right in front of him. With a quiet intensity she studied his features and sighed.
"This war is taking a toll on everyone and everything involved, but none more then on those on the front-lines. I see the weariness in your eyes Obi-Wan. You may be a Jedi, but you are also human. Don't let this war kill you without shedding a drop of your blood" she whispered, her gaze unwavering.
Obi-Wan frowned slightly. "I assure you plenty of my blood has been shed already so you have no reason to fear" he said curtly, immediately regretting his words.
Satine narrowed her eyes, "You don't see it do you? Well I will make you see then".
Without warning she placed both hands on either side of his face, holding his head firmly in place so that he was looking directly at her.
"A wise man recently told me that I should accept the help of my friends rather then push them away. I am telling you that now! Don't keep your friends at an arms length. Let them help you, even if the only way they can is by telling you what you don't want to hear. You were right for telling me what you did then, just as I am right for telling you this now. Don't try to keep those who care for you out, after all what are friends for?" she said vehemently.
Obi-Wan stared at her briefly in surprise before a small smile broke free.
"Apparently friends are also useful for giving one a brutal dose of reality without trying to soften the blow".
Satine couldn't contain the laugh that escaped at his response.
"I'm glad you've returned to your senses Master Kenobi".
He continued to smile at her, "I have you to thank for that my lady".
Letting one of her hands fall so that only one was resting on his cheek she returned his smile.
"No…in the end our decision was the right one. I have found my place and you… you have found yours. You have become the man I knew you would one day become, perhaps not in the ideal times or circumstances, but none the less seeing that I was not wrong about you brings me solace".
Obi-Wan inclined his head; "I am unworthy of such praise milady" he replied, humbled.
She sighed, "Well whether or not you believe that you deserve such praise, it does not make my words any less true. I am honored to have known you and to have called you friend. I hope that we will have the pleasure of being in each others company sometime in the near future and under more…peaceful circumstances".
"As do I Milady, and I assure you I will endeavor to do my best to see that peace does again resume".
Satine smiled sadly up at him. "I know you will it is what you were meant to do".
Slowly she leaned forward and gently kissed Obi-Wan.
The kiss was not passionate, but rather sweet and sad a reminder of what they had and it was over before it began.
Pulling away she gazed at him, her eyes blurring from the tears threatening to spill.
Running her thumb softly across his cheek she whispered: "Goodbye Obi-Wan, I will miss you".
Before he could reply his door slid open and a surprised Anakin cleared his throat.
Not bothering to turn around Obi-Wan listened as Anakin fumbled for words.
"Uh- oh, sorry I didn't know anyone… I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll come back later…" he mumbled still trying to regain his composure.
Satine smiled pleasantly at him.
"Please Master Skywalker don't go on my behalf I was just about to leave myself" she replied.
She turned her attention back to Obi-Wan who looked at her tenderly though she could see the sadness in his eyes.
Her hand lingered momentarily on his cheek before she pulled it away slowly.
"May the Force be with you Master Kenobi" she said inclining her head slightly.
As she began to walk away Obi-Wan turned to watch her.
Clearing his throat he caught her attention just as she passed the open doorway.
Pausing she turned back to look at him.
With a polite smile that betrayed nothing to Anakin who was watching, Obi-Wan bowed.
"May the Force be with you Duchess Satine" he said.
Satine looked at him for a moment before smiling back, she understood. Everything that needed to be said was said and what was left unsaid was grasped.
With another small inclination of her head Duchess Satine turned and left.
As the door slid shut and her retreating figure was hidden from him he got the feeling that this would be the last time he would see her. They had been parted before but this had a finality to it that was hard to escape.
With a tired shake of his head he turned to Anakin who was regarding him carefully.
"What was that about? What did the Duchess want?" he asked as blunt and curious as ever.
Obi-Wan sighed, "It was nothing Anakin. The Duchess only…she came to say goodbye, that's all".
Knowing he was missing something and that Obi-Wan was not telling him something he decided to let it go.
"So you ready for the briefing on how the Outer Rim sieges are going" he asked once again watching Obi-Wan carefully.
Running a hand wearily through his hair he nodded.
Once again duty beckoned and he would answer. It's what he does- it's what he's always done, and it's what he'll always do.
"I'm going to wash up, why don't you make us some caf. We have a few minutes before we have to leave after all".
Anakin just nodded and walked into the kitchen.
Staring at the door but not really seeing it he whispered to know one in particular, knowing the person who his words were meant for is long gone by now: "Goodbye Satine, I will miss you as well".
With a tired sigh he returned to the present, and that is where he will stay from now on.
After all there is a war to be fought and won and peace to be restored.
As he made his way to the refresher he was already letting go.
He is a Jedi and nothing would change that.