Hey all! Sorry this took me so long! I've been spending the summer with the kids, but once my eldest goes back to school on Monday and I go back to work, it will be business as usual. Hopefully that will mean more frequent updates for you guys!
Kensi sighed as she parked her car outside the OSP center. The empty box of donuts on the seat next to her was a testimony to her problem when it came to nerves and sugar. She couldn't control it, especially not now with her hormones and cravings raging through her body. At least gorging herself on sugar once in a while wasn't going to hurt the baby, unlike getting drunk, which is what she normally would have done in a situation like this one.
She finally got out of the car and walked to the entrance of the building, but before she reached out to open it, Callen walked up beside her. He didn't say a word, just stood there with his arms crossed, as if he was waiting for her to say something. Kensi didn't want to give him the satisfaction by giving up the fight, but she also knew that she had been the one in the wrong that morning, and she needed to apologize.
She took a deep breath and gathered the courage to look him in the eye.
"I'm sorry, Callen. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that this morning. I know you were just being nice and cooking breakfast but it's hard to control my emotions right now."
She decided not to mention that it was the hormones from the pregnancy that were caused her to react the way she did that morning, because the topic of her pregnancy was still an uncomfortable one between the two of them.
Then it was Callen's turn to get angry. He was furious at her, she could tell by the way he was looking at her.
"Do you seriously think that's what I want to hear? Are you completely out of your mind, Kensi? I couldn't care less about you yelling at me, hell, you could have even kicked me and punched my for all I care. I'm fine with you getting angry, but don't you ever disappear like you did this morning. Do you have any idea how worried I was? One minute you're bending over the toilet and the next thing I know you're leaving the house without even eating breakfast. You can't do this to me, Kenz."
She tried her best not to start crying, she didn't want him to see her break down. But she did. She blamed it on her stupid hormones, but maybe this time it was something else, too. He was angry at her because he cared, not because of the way she had yelled at him. He still cared. She looked down, trying her best to hide her tears.
Callen was not fooled by her weak attempt to stay strong. He took a step closer to her.
"Did you have breakfast yet?" he asked in a calm voice, trying to soothe her.
Kensi nodded without lifting her head and Callen let out a sigh. She was surprised when she felt his hand on her arm, but she couldn't let him see how much this was affecting her. Callen, however, was as stubborn as she was. He lifted her head gently and made her look at him.
The sight of her tear-stained face was enough to break his heart in tiny little pieces. He gathered her in his arms and held her as close to him as possible. Kensi wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest, sobbing softly. Callen stroked her head with one hand and her back with the other hand, all the while leaving soft soothing kisses on the top of her head.
She didn't know how long it took her to calm down, but Callen never tried to pull away from her. He just held her, doing his best to calm her down. When was finally able to speak coherently again, Kensi pulled away from him and wiped away her remaining tears.
It was then that she noticed the worry still present in his eyes.
"Thank you for that." She said softly.
Callen sighed and shook his head. He then grabbed her hand and held onto it.
"Kensi, don't thank me. I know that things between us haven't been great lately but that doesn't mean that I don't care anymore. You're…"
He paused, not knowing how to continue.
"You're my best friend." He said quietly, "And I can't lose my best friend. I still worry about you. That's not going to change anytime soon."
He took one step closer to her and grabbed her hand.
"Kenz, I'm not ready to deal with…I mean, I don't know how to deal with the whole baby thing. But that doesn't mean that I want to leave you. And you know me. I won't leave you alone. I'm confused and I don't know exactly what to do, but I'm not going to make you do this all on your own. I just need time, Kensi. Can you give me that?"
She nodded and gave him a small smile. For the first time in weeks, Callen smiled too and hugged her.
"I can give you time, Callen. I can be patient. But the baby won't wait. Once he or she is here, you have to make a decision, whether you want to be a part of our lives or not. Okay?"
Although she had a small glimmer of hope, Kensi knew that this wasn't going to be easy. Callen still wasn't facing the reality of the situation, and she wasn't going to subject their child to an on again/off again father once he or she was born. Kensi could only hope that Callen would make a decision sometime in the coming months.