The Reds were all getting geared up for a fight. Donut grabbed an assault rifle and pistol, Simmons grabbed a battle rifle and SMG, Sarge grabbed his signature shotgun and a pair of SMGs while Grif simply lied down on a crate, attempting to take a nap. Sarge muttered then walked up and kicked Grif off the crate, causing him to scream with fright and fall to the steel floor below.

"Ow…"

"Wake up ya big orange baby! We've got a station to defend!"

"Can't you guys do that without me? Seriously, how hard is it for three Spartans to defend one station?"

"I don't know Grif, how hard is it for you to hold a full round of shotgun bullets in your face?" Grif groaned then slowly got to his feet, grabbing a pistol and SMG before following his team.

The Reds met a group of three marines, and Johnson with a turret set up and aimed at the door. "Feel the fire on that bulkhead!" The group saw fire leaking through the door. Sarge and Donut crouched behind cover. Simmons stood behind a terminal thing, while Grif lied on the ground behind cover. "As soon as that door opens, let em have it!"

"You heard the man," Sarge shouted, quickly running over then kicking Grif in the stomach. The napping Spartan cried out then whined, holding his stomach as Sarge quickly ran back for his cover.

The door, instead of opening, exploded outward. Johnson fired into the flames and smoke as dozens and dozens of Grunts ran through the doorway. The marines fired as well, mowing down the Grunts with ease. Sarge and Simmons also fired into the crowd, while Donut lobbed a grenade or two. Grif poked his head up, and nearly laughed with what he saw: an unlimited number of Grunts running and dying to their doom.

"Oh shit, even I can handle this!" Grif popped out of cover then pulled the trigger. The lazy Spartan looked to his gun then kept hearing the same clicking noise over and over again. "What the hell?"

"Grif, why is your gun out of ammunition," Sarge asked as he reloaded his SMGs.

"I don't know! This stupid gun is a piece of shit!" Grif looked up, just as a pair of Grunts rushed at him.

"Get some bitch," the Grunt screamed as he leapt onto Grif. The two Grunts started punching Grif in the face, gut, and nuts. A marine moved to help Grif, but was held back by Sarge.

"No, let him be," Sarge replied. "This is the most enjoyable thing since Donut practiced his crouching on Grif's face."

The wave of Grunts had died down, and four Elites made their way onto the scene. Johnson quickly took one out with his turret. Sarge started unloading into one with his dual wielded weapons, but the alien quickly took cover. A third Elite grabbed the body of the Elite that Johnson killed, and used it as a human meat shield.

"Oh come on," Simmons shouted. "They can't do that! It's cheating!"

"Blarg…honk!" Translation: "I've been playing Gears of War 2…honk!"

"Donut, initiate bowling ball maneuver!"

"I'm on it sir!" Donut jumped out of cover with a grenade, pin pulled, in hand. He inched up on his tip-toes then rolled the grenade across the floor, towards the Elite using his comrade's corpse as a shield. The Elite watched as the grenade rolled towards him, between the corpses' and his legs before looking up.

"Blarg…"

The grenade blew up, reducing both Elites into chunks of meat and purple blood that splattered all over the walls. Sarge laughed and threw in a 'blamo' before he rushed forward with his shotgun towards the remaining two Elites.

One Elite had gunned down one of the two marines before he looked over, seeing Sarge rush towards him. Before the alien could counter, Sarge threw his shoulder into the Elite, knocking him to the ground. Sarge aimed the shotgun at the alien's head, only to be pulled back and thrown by the second Elite. Sarge cried out before hitting the ground. Simmons ran forward, shooting burst after burst of his battle rifle at the alien pair. One Elite ducked under three bullets then threw its arm out, knocking Simmons' feet out from under him, causing him to face plant into the ground. The second alien kicked Simmons in the stomach, throwing him back next to Sarge.

"This is pathetic," Johnson screamed.

"I'm out of practice," Sarge weakly replied.

Johnson ripped his gun turret from the ground, then started firing at the alien pair. One Elite took cover while the second one threw a plasma grenade which stuck to the turret. Johnson threw the turret high above his head. It exploded harmlessly in the air. Johnson strode forward, firing his battle rifle at the alien not in cover. Its shields were lowered and it moved for cover. Johnson then threw his gun spinning up in the air, caught it, and then hurled it forward like a spear. The long barrel of the battle rifle stuck into the side of the Elite's head. The alien fell over on its side in a lifeless heap, purple liquid oozing from its head. The second Elite stared wide eyed in shock before looking back at Johnson who was still walking forward, now only with a pistol. The Elite popped out of cover, aiming its plasma rifle. Johnson fired a round, knocking the weapon out of the Elite's hand. The alien stared with wide eyes again before pulling out a sword.

Johnson huffed, sticking a lighted cigar in his mouth. The Elite rushed forward, raising its sword high above its head. Johnson side-stepped as the alien swung downward, missing him by a mile. Johnson grabbed the alien's wrist, spun around, pulling its arm around the back of its head. The alien cried out with pain before Johnson fired a pistol round into the Elite's hand, causing it to drop its sword as blood squirted out. Johnson released the alien's wrist, and the Elite quickly swung its arm backward. Johnson ducked under the strike then fired a round into the alien's crotch. The Elite howled with pain, holding its crotch before it kneeled down. Johnson pistol-whipped the Elite across the face once, and then twice. The human twirled the gun around before swinging upward with all his might. The Elite was lifted off the ground nearly a foot before landing on its neck with a sickening snap. Johnson twirled his pistol again before holstering it and turning to the reds who were staring in shock.

"That's how it's done," Johnson said with a cocky smirk on his face. Donut looked over, seeing Grif still getting pounded by Grunts then turned back to Sarge.

"Shouldn't we help him?"

"What? Oh yeah, sure, someone help him." Donut walked over then simply popped each Grunt in the skull.

"Are you okay Grif," Donut asked.

"My nuts…"

"I could shoot them," Johnson suggested.

"Done," Sarge exclaimed. Grif quickly shot up.

"You know, I'm feeling a lot better actually." The two sergeants exchanged glances they walked off. Grif winced with pain before limping after his superior officers.

The Spartans fought their way through the station until they got into a hanger which had a group of marines on the high ground, firing down at a group of Covenant soldiers that entered through a pair of boarding crafts. Sarge flew around the hanger like a teenager getting his first porno magazine as he blasted Covenant from above and at all angles using his jetpack. Grif swung at an Elite who sidestepped, causing the orange Spartan to stumble. The Elite roared then swung at Grif. The orange Spartan activated his armor lock in a terrified position. The Elite's hand broke over the Spartan's armor, causing him to yelp and shake his hand with pain. Grif released the armor lock, tossed a grenade high above his head, then activated the armor lock again. The Elite watched as the grenade plummeted to the ground, bounced off of Grif's helmet then exploded in his face. The Elite's upper body was reduced to giant chunks of bloody meat, while Grif remained unharmed in his locked up armor.

"Sweet," Grif exclaimed. "I could get use to this feature!" Grif's armor unlocked. Sarge swooped down and smacked the end of his gun in Grif's face. The orange Spartan spun around then fell to the ground, "Ouchie!"

"Ha-ha, Red Team!" Sarge did a neat back flip then landed on top of a Grunt, killing the tiny alien. "Is that it?"

"Looks like it Sarge," a British marine called out.

"Sir, I finished healing all the injured people," Donut replied from within his healing bubble, and no, that's not a therapy reference. "I even discovered I can heal dying people too! Granted it doesn't bring them back to life, but at least they'll look nice for their funeral without all those plasma burns and stuff right?"

"Excellent work Donut," Sarge said with a nod of approval. "Where is Simmons anyway?"

"Right here sir," Simmons called out. "I was just making sure all of the automated turrets worked."

"They have automated turrets in this place," Grif asked.

"Of course Grif, this place is one of Earth's main defenses, they wouldn't NOT put automated turrets in this place for defense. That's just stupid."

"Then what the hell do they need us running around and killing aliens for?"

"Because the turrets, unlike you, are next to worthless," Sarge yelled.

"Wow Sarge, I can't believe you went out of your way not to insult me," Grif muttered.

"Don't get teary eyed on me yet butterscotch. I said the turrets were next to worthless, but you're COMPLETELY worthless!"

"Thanks Sarge," Grif replied sarcastically.

"Seriously, what did you do that entire battle? I took out nearly a third of the entire Covenant forces by myself, and the marines took out the rest! All you did was kill an Elite. Hell, Donut even healed wounded soldiers."

"Well Simmons was playing on the computer," Grif snapped.

"Hey, I control these turrets, if I want, I could have them shoot you."

"Go ahead, my armor lock can protect me from anything! A grenade just blew up in my face and I don't even have a scratch to show for it."

"Uh, ladies," Cortana's voice replied through the Reds' radios. "Look outside…" All eyes looked outside the window, seeing the two other MAC guns exploding.

"Wha-oh," Sarge muttered.

"That's not good," Simmons added. "That explosion came from—AGH!" Simmons fell to his knees as a high pitched siren went off in his head.

"I want to say it," the AI snapped. "That explosion came from inside the Athens and the Malta. The Covenant must've brought something with them…a bomb."

"So, those space stations are already gone," Grif replied. "Nothing we can do about it now."

"Unless they brought one here," Donut said. The Reds looked to each other then immediately bolted to the nearest exit.

The Reds somehow found their way beneath the armory that they started out in. Sarge's visor lit up as he heard the all too familiar ring of a shotgun. "Get the hell out of my armory split-lip!" The Gunnery Sergeant ducked under plasma fire then blasted his shotgun. "Tell your friends I got enough ammo for all of ya'll!" Once again, the Gunnery Sergeant ducked for cover and fired. "Come on is this a gun of a flashlight! Oh dangit!" The Gunnery Sergeant was gunned down, leaving his shotgun lying by his body.

"Dibs!" Sarge quickly ran into the armor from below, startling the two Elites before he grabbed the shotgun. "Hey, can you do me a favor and hold these bullets?" Sarge fired a round of his shotgun at one of the Elites. The alien cried out and held his stomach as he kneeled down before falling on his side, now dead. "Hey thanks! You make a fine bullet-gut-holder." The second Elite growled then rushed forward. "And you just got," Sarge blasted the Elite's head off, "Sarged!"

"Excellent one liners sir," Simmons replied, standing behind his superior officer.

"I know," Sarge said with pride. "Let's keep moving! That bomb won't find itself now will it?"

"It'd save me a load of trouble," Grif murmured under his breath.

The Reds continued on, hearing gunfire in the next room. Sarge rushed in to help, Simmons and Donut following behind him. If anything, Grif started to walk slower, throwing in an unnecessary yawn as well.

"Come on boy," Johnson shouted to Sarge, "This way!" Sarge dove behind cover next to Johnson while Donut and Simmons laid down covering fire. Simmons knelt down next to a pair of Sergeants, while Donut crouched next to Miranda.

"I was almost on board when they showed up," the commander said.

"Who, Grif? I can kill him if it'll help."

"What? No, the Covenant."

"Oh," Sarge replied, looking at the group of aliens firing at him. "You sure it's not Grif?"

"Yes, yes I'm sure!"

"Don't worry ma'am," Johnson shouted, "We're on it!" Grif screamed when he turned the corner, running and diving for cover next to Johnson. "I'm gonna have to borrow your boy here."

"He's not a boy: he's a turd!" Johnson grabbed Grif then lifted the Spartan up effortlessly.

"Go into armor lock," the sergeant ordered.

"Do wha-AAAAT?" Johnson hurled Grif forward as straight as an arrow. Grif's arms flailed about before he shielded his face and activated his armor lock. The Spartan flew through the Grunts and Elites, knocking them off their feet, breaking bones, and even decapitating one Grunt. Grif smashed and slid against the ground, sparks flying from under his body. The armor lock deactivated and Grif sighed out with relief as his limbs went numb.

"Donut, bombard those Covenant bastards right now," Johnson barked.

"You got it sir!" Donut stood up from cover and started throwing grenades into the Covenant forces. The aliens hardly had time to react before they were soon blown to bits. "That's all of them. You want me to mop up the mess too Sergeant Johnson?"

"Hey it's my job to kiss the superior ass around here," Simmons snapped with a venomous tone. The maroon Spartan's tone lightened as he turned to Johnson, "Would you like Donut to mop up the mess sir?"

"I'll mop the floor with your faces if you don't get a move on," Johnson snapped. "Find that bomb damn it!" Sarge and Simmons rushed forward, but Donut was stopped by Miranda.

"Thanks Donut…I owe you one." The commander winked before letting a dumbfounded Donut continue forward.

"Come on Grif," Simmons shouted, dragging the unconscious Spartan by his foot. "We're almost at the bomb!"

"But I don't wanna," Grif whined. The Reds were in a sealed off airlock. Sarge opened the doors outside, then grabbed Grif and threw him out. "WAAAAAH! NO I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Grif's arms started flailing wildly while the rest of the team watched the pitiful sight, shaking their heads disapprovingly.

"Donut, initiate male bonding strategy," Sarge ordered.

"Huh," Donut asked. Sarge turned his head then pointed to Grif. "Oh sorry Sarge, my mind was focused on…something else." Donut leapt forward, floating slowly towards Grif before he grabbed the Spartan and hugged him tightly. "It's okay Grif, in space there's no gravity so you can float instead of fall."

"Really," Grif asked, still with a terror stricken voice as he looked down. "Oh hey, I'm floating! I'm just like Peter Pan!"

"Yeah, a woman who looks like a boy," Sarge replied, leaping forward and striking Grif across the face.

"OW! Hey!" Sarge slowly descended to the ground and landed smoothly.

"Come on men, we have to move through this room to get to where the bomb is!"

"Hey, since there's no gravity, why don't we just go OVER the room and straight to wherever we need to go," Grif asked, landing softly behind Sarge.

"That's an excellent idea! Way to go Donut!"

"Thank you sir," the pink Spartan replied.

"DONUT! What the hell, I suggested it!"

"No you didn't, not unless you like to wear pink armor. Which then raises the question: what else do you wear that's pink?"

"So you're saying Donut wears more than just pink armor?"

"Well I do," Donut admitted proudly.

"Shut up Donut," Grif snapped.

"Let's move," Sarge ordered, using his jetpack to fly over the station. Grif sighed then jumped after his commander, followed by Simmons then Donut. "Oh this isn't good…" Sarge looked ahead, seeing six Elites with jetpacks flying towards him and his leaping team. Sarge pulled out a battle rifle then fired a burst of bullets. Unfortunately, the bullets went less than a foot forward before floating up through the air harmlessly. "Curse you Isaac Newton!" Plasma fire whizzed by Sarge who deactivated his jetpack then fell to the ground in front of his squad. "We need a plan of action that allows us to kill these Elites without gravity."

"We could run," Grif suggested.

"Absolutely not," Sarge barked.

"I think running would be a smart idea," Simmons replied.

"Excellent idea Simmons!"

Grif sighed, "I hate my life…"

"Now, they need to be distracted…GRIF!"

"No," the orange Spartan snapped.

"I need you to run out there and do the chicken dance to distract those Elites! And while that's going on, I'll carry Simmons and Donut to the exit and we'll deactivate the bomb…and then place it in your quarters and reactivate it. BLAMO!" Suddenly, a loud boom was heard, followed by the ground shaking and a screech of metal. The Reds turned around to see an entire column of the station shoot up suddenly, throwing the Elites into the empty vacuum of space, drifting along harmlessly.

"Now, if you all are done," Cortana said over the radio, "Go stop that bomb!"

"You heard the lady!" Sarge sprung forward with his team following behind him. The group made it to an elevator that closed and went downward.

"Just so you know, there are quite a few Elites guarding the bomb, you may need to get creative."

"Alright, Donut and I will take out the Covenant," Sarge said, "And Simmons, you and Grif go deactivate the bomb. Got it?"

"Uh, sir I'm not too familiar with Covenant technology and-," The doors opened, and Sarge and Donut rushed out, screaming with guns blazing. "Son of a bitch. Come on Grif, let's go see if we can stop a bomb."

"Why the hell am I helping you with technological stuff?"

Sarge stuck the barrel of his shotgun in the chest of an Elite then pulled the trigger. A giant hole was formed in the center of the alien as he fell over lifelessly. Sarge then threw his shotgun in the air, grabbing it by the barrel before he spun around, smashing the butt of the gun into the skulls of Grunts that tried to surround him. Sarge swung his gun upward, knocking a Grunt up into the air, only for its tiny body to be impaled by one of the spikes on the bomb. Donut ducked under an Elite's strike, firing a few rounds of his SMG into its stomach. The pink Spartan pushed the Elite back then turned around, blocking a second Elite's strike and head butting it in the face. The Elite staggered back, holding its face in pain. Donut turned around then lashed his gun across the first Elite's face. The alien spun around and put one of its hands out to stop itself. Unfortunately, the Elite's hand went right through one of the spikes on the bomb. The alien cried out in pain, only for Donut to kick it in the back, pushing the rest of its body through the spikes. Donut spun around as the second Elite tried to attack him. Donut screamed as he pushed the alien away from the bomb as Simmons and Grif finally got to it.

"Oh yeah, just throw alien bodies against the freaking bomb we know nothing about," Simmons screamed. "That won't kill us at all! How does this fucking thing work!"

"Come on Simmons, figure it out!"

"I'm trying cock-bite!" Simmons frantically looked at the bomb, but found no obvious 'off' switch. "This thing is nothing but spikes! What the hell am I supposed to do!"

Sarge blasted a hole in another Elite, just as a silver one jumped down from above, slamming its weapon in the back of the Spartan's head. Sarge cried out and stumbled forward as Cortana's avatar appeared on a pedestal near the bomb.

"Me, inside you're head, now!" Sarge spun around, dragging his hand through Cortana's avatar. His hand glowed as Cortana downloaded into his armor. Sarge stopped himself against the bomb, placing his hand directly over the flashing red light.

"Oh come on! It was that easy!"

Sarge looked over his shoulder then dove over the bomb as the silver Elite smashed its gun against the bomb. Sarge placed his hand between the spikes then spun the bomb around. The Elite cried out as the spikes impaled the side of its body. Sarge then placed his hands on the end of the bomb, again between the spikes, then pushed the bomb across the room. Sarge started screaming as he pushed faster and faster while the Elite simply screamed in pain. Finally, Sarge smashed the Elite against the back door of the elevator they rode in on, pushing the Elite's body through the spikes, finally killing it. Sarge fell to his knees, panting heavily for awhile before letting out a long sigh.

"How much time was left," Sarge asked.

Cortana simply laughed before replying; "You don't wanna know."

"Cairo, this is In Amber Clad. The carrier's shields are down, I'm in position for immediate assault."

"Negative commander," Lord Hood replied, "not against a ship that size. Not on your own, or at least not without someone attempting a suicide mission."

Sarge turned his head, looking at his team. "Ah crap," Grif sighed out.

"Sir, permission to leave the station."

"For what purpose Sarge?"

"To give the Covenant back their bomb…and maybe kill Grif." Hood's eyes lit up as he looked forward, cracking a slight smirk.

"Permission granted…"

"You heard him," Sarge shouted. "Donut, Simmons, Grif, all of you in here now." The Reds quickly filed into the elevator then headed downward again.

"I know what you're thinking," Cortana told Sarge.

"I don't," Grif shouted. "Tell me!"

"Yeah, what are you planning Sarge," Simmons asked.

"It's crazy," Cortana answered.

"So," Sarge replied smugly. "Stay here."

"Can I stay here," Grif asked from the other side of the bomb. Sarge reached up, grabbed onto the ceiling then lifted his legs up and kicked Grif with both of his feet against the lazy Spartan's face. "OW!" Grif's head was thrown back and smacked against the back wall.

"Unfortunately for us both: I like crazy."

"Sir," Simmons asked. "What are you planning exactly?" The elevator door opened, revealing a giant window that showed the humans battling the Covenant in space. "Um…sir, when you said give the Covenant back their bomb…did you mean delivering it personally?"

Sarge simply grabbed onto the bomb then dragged it out of the elevator. Simmons gave a fearful whimper, while a still puzzled Donut walked out, dragging Grif by his feet. Sarge released the bomb then looked out of the window at Earth along with his team.

"Get ready men," Sarge ordered. Simmons quickly ran behind a pillar in the center of the room while Donut followed him. Sarge turned and quickly joined his team, slamming his fist against a giant blue button.

"Just one question," Cortana asked. Sarge reached up and grabbed a handle. "What if you miss?"

"I won't."

"I know, but I'm asking what if you do miss?"

"Um…then we'll all be dead I guess."

"Wait, can I protest against this," Simmons asked.

"Too late!" Sarge quickly pulled down on the handle, opening the window up.

All the air started to be sucked out into space. The Reds held themselves down while Sarge watched the bomb skid along slowly. The Red commander grabbed Donut's wrist, then Donut grabbed Simmons' wrist, and Simmons grabbed Grif's.

"Wait, I'm not so sure this is a good idea," Simmons shouted.

"Neither am I," Sarge replied, having already dove out from the pillar, grabbing one of the spikes on the bomb. The Reds flew out into space, using the bomb as their ride.

The ride was slow as the Reds and their bomb descended downwards. One cruiser was already moving down towards Earth, and there was no way for the Reds to catch up to it. A second cruiser passed just beneath the Reds.

"Alright, we got this," Grif shouted. Suddenly, the ship started firing a massive laser beam, narrowly missing the Reds each time. "OH GOD WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

"Simmons, kick Grif in the face!"

"WE'RE GONNA DIE," Simmons screamed along with Grif.

Sarge groaned then rolled his head, looking dead ahead to the cruiser. Just as it seemed one of the lasers would hit the Reds, a giant human cruiser flew in and took the shot for them. The Reds watched in wonder as small explosions erupted all around the ship that now drifted by them. Grif and Donut stared as the engines tried to flicker back to life.

"Did a crap load of people just die to save us," Grif asked.

"Ah, probably," Sarge replied with a small shrug. Just then, two fighter ships zoomed past the Reds, then swooped up, dropping bombs on the Covenant cruiser. "Ha-ha, now that's how you make a front door!" The Reds floated through the hole that the bombs made, descending into a room with a single, massive fusion core.

"Hey look," Simmons pointed downward, "there's another hole we can escape through!"

"Excellent work Simmons! Now get to floating down! I'm gonna activate this puppy!" The other Reds started 'swimming' down towards the hole while Sarge kept ahold of the bomb.

"You're honestly the craziest person I know," Cortana muttered. Sarge huffed then pulled himself over the bomb, touching the activation panel again. The Red leader turned around, placed his feet on the bomb then launched himself off the bomb. "We're not gonna make it!"

"Oh we'll make it," Sarge replied, activating his jetpack to full power.

The Red leader shot forward like a bullet. Sarge was screaming, going much faster than he expected. As Sarge passed his squad, he grabbed Simmons and Donut, and Grif quickly grabbed onto him. The Red team flew downward, all of them screaming as the cruiser started to explode.

"I don't think we're gonna make it now," Cortana shouted. Luckily for the Reds, In Amber Clad flew right below them. Sarge slammed into the hull of the ship hard, bringing the rest of his squad smashing into the heavy metal just as hard as him.

"Yeow," Sarge groaned.

"Okay," Grif moaned, "Let's not do that EVER again…ow…"

"For once sir," Simmons began, his head spinning around, "Grif…is right." Simmons sighed as he fell backwards.

"Is anyone else seeing stars," Donut asked, lying flat on his back.

"Reds," Miranda's voice called over their radios, "Get inside and gear up. We're taking this fight to the surface."

"More fighting," Grif shouted. "We just saved out space station and blew up a cruiser! What more do you want from us!"

"How about less bitching," Miranda replied.

"Commander," Sarge said, letting out another groan. "I knew I always liked you…ow…" Sarge fell on his back again. "Donut, start healing us."

"Oh right, I can do that now." Donut activated his healing bubble, covering all of the Reds who all sighed with relief.

"Alright," Sarge said, flipping up to his feet. "I'm back and rejuvenated! Let's go kick some Covenant ass on Earth!" The other three Reds simply groaned then banged their heads on the ship's hull again.


Wow, this took me forever to write lol. I'm sorry this took so long to update and stuff, but that's usually how these chapters work sometimes. I'll start writing, and then I'll lose interest, then I'll start writing a little bit, and start coming up with jokes and all this other cool stuff, and then BOOM I'm finished.

Unfortunately with this update comes some bad news: I start college tomorrow. And well, since college is pretty important I intend to try my hardest at it, unlike high school, so who knows when this story will be updated again. Luckily I only have four classes, and I only go to school two days a week, so hopefully I won't be too horribly busy. Still, don't expect me to update anytime soon, unless I get some type of miracle stroke of genius that won't go away. Don't fret though, I won't abandon my story, but I won't spend all my time on the computer anymore. So I apologize that I can't update more often after tomorrow, but destiny calls right? And by destiny I mean college.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you leave a review too =)