Title: Pre-Shippuden Crack

Act 1: Shame!

Chapter1: Beware of the cutter of clothes!

Crossovers: none

Disclaimer: This silly funny fan fiction is not endorsed by Viz Media, Masashi Kishimoto/SHUEISHA Inc. or Cartoon Network and is intended for the amusement of myself, other fans and well… please don't sue me, any of you big companies and people! I have no money to pay all of you!

Quote of the day:

Cutting clothes is funny when we are not victims of it.


She wore a black coat, a black shirt and a pair of black shorts. She had fair skin, wore red nail polish on her fingernails and toenails. She wore blue ninja sandals. Her hitai-ate was a brilliant neon green. She had some bandages wrapped around her hands.

She wore a pair of black spectacles. She was from the sand village and was a travelling genin who was with her teammates and her Jounin instructor. She was on a mission and was slightly nuts, in a bad and good way. She held a kunai and was about to cut his jacket when Jiraiya came.

Naruto was aghast. What was wrong with the girl? "What the crap are you doing! Damn you bitch! Go away! Leave me alone! You cut my clothes!" Naruto yelled and pushed a black haired girl with blue eyes and two tiny ponytails on her head away. "But your clothes are wonderful! I must cut them! Besides I like your shirt! So I cut it!" she yelled at him.

Naruto yelled in disgust, "but I will be nude! Have you no sense of decency?" Mika smirked. "Who cares, I will cut your clothes!"


She used her kunai rapidly.

Naruto was horrified. He jumped back yelling. "Crap...YOU CUT MY JUMPSUIT INTO PIECES! ERO-sennin... uh help! JIRAIYA!Help! Get rid of this mad girl!" Jiraiya was looking at a sexy woman when he heard Naruto yell. He looked at Mika and frowned. She looked sane. "This girl is pretty, you sure she is mad?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, she is! She cuts people's clothes!" Naruto still has his pants on... and the black top... but they had holes in them. It was embarrassing and crazy. Naruto was vexed. Why did this girl have to start this strangeness? SNIP! Jiraiya stared at the girl in horror. She had cut a hole in his clothes! Darn and they were new too! Naruto was also shocked. People around them were also shocked.

"We better get out of here, that girl is nuts!" A random villager yelled.

Naruto agreed with that. But before he could do anymore, she also cut his hitai-ate into tiny pieces and the bit of cloth holding the metal fell with a heavy clunk to the floor. She grinned as she cut the tiny pieces of cloth into even more... tinier pieces.

"This is fun!" she yelled. "Let me cut more! I need more!HEE, HEE!"

This was fun... well; it wasn't for two males...

It wasn't funny... It was not.

This pissed Naruto off. It made Jiraiya mad.

Well, no more! She would not be allowed to cut their clothes anymore! Jiraiya summoned a large orange toad which used its tongue to hurl Mika into a pond nearby. Splash! Naruto smiled as the girl spluttered to the surface. "Darn it! Now I have to find a tailor and some clothes for you Naruto!"Jiraiya yelled. Naruto nodded in dismay as he held the main remainder of his hitai-ate. His whole outfit was ruined and his hitai-ate was also cut...

Naruto then spoke."I also need to ask a tailor to make my hitai-ate too! That girl cut nearly everything!"

Jiraiya nodded as they both disappeared from that area in a swirl of leaves.

Author's notes:

Note: This is what I think happened to his old pre Shippuden clothes. XD

Note: Mika is some filler OC crap weirdo girl I made

Note: This used to be in fan fiction dot net, but I changed certain bits. But the hilarity should still be there.

Japanese words: