48Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or Ulquiorra...malheuresment!
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown.
...
I saw you were blind and knew I had won
So I took whats mine by eternal right, took your soul out into the night.
...
Ive been addicted to you,
I'm so hollow.
- Goodbye my lover
PROLOGUE
It seemed inconceivable that my existence could be altered so dramatically. it was irrevocable what this simple human girl had done to me.
In this barren landscape which consists only of rock and grey ash, it shall serve well as my grave. My true death will occur here, but I am somewhat honoured to be defeated by this orange haired shinigami that stands before me all blood and proud.
I can see now why you had spent those many a nights in Las Noches crying for him.
He is noble and valiant someone perhaps worthy of your heart, far worthier than I.
The heart, what a terribly fragile and human emotion.
What is the heart?
I had never before allowed my thoughts to dwell on somethingso pointless. Something so repulsively human.
That was of course before I had met you.
I found myself fascinated by you, always in rapture of your presence both consciously and sub consciously.
Even now you take my breath away with your hair flaming out like tongues of fire and your angelic face crying.
This is the end I will cease to exist but you will burn ever brighter my amber haired girl.
My mind casts back to the moments we have shared. A strange foreign feeling washes over me. I feel longing and sorrow.
What is this emotion? Ah yes, I believe you humans call it regret.
Regret, I see no worth in such an emotion, yet I cannot repress the thought that overwhelms me.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
My body aches to hold you one last time, like the stolen glances and touches we had once shared.
Those nights we had spent. I remember how your sighs had filled me, the taste of your skin and the feel of your body moulded to mine.
In those moments we were all to exist just you and I. My flesh filling you till you could hold no more.
Skin to skin.
How we had both screamed out loud and hadn't cared who heard.
I had taken away your Innocence.
It was inevitable that it would end despite your reassurances that love was powerful, always claiming it would be alright as long as we believed in us and that we would never be apart.
You foolish little girl.
A dream does not last forever regardless of how precious it is. We had to wake up sometime.
'cause I saw the end before we'd begun
How can something love when it's very own heart has been torn out?
Logic told me that it was impossible...but you obstinately persisted that the true heart was hidden within another. Only accessible to that special person.
'How ridiculious' I had replied, it was you who could not see reality or reason.
I asked you countless times to show me that very thing humans branded 'the heart' and I can still recall how your eyes had looked upon me with such kindness as if explaining to a child.
You claimed it was in the hands of the one you adored.
To see is to believe...I had believed that with every fibre of my being, but that first time our lips had met and our moans combined you shattered my pristine control.
That was the first night we spent together, both our bodies joining in one. My hardness your softness and how our wet bodies had glistened by the light of the lamp.
Your soft lips exploring my dark hollow hole, kissing, licking and tasting it until I could no longer withstand the bittersweet pleasure.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You have the ability to make me feel uncomfortably human whenever I am in your presence, and not for the first time since I have encountered you do I wish I was a mortal.
I was a soldier, a cold emotionless creature following blindly in faith. Not ever questioning authority. I was dead in more ways than one before you.
unaware that what I sought was you.
I turn to look upon your face, no longer fearful of its grace.
You have never turned away from me or ever looked upon me with fear or revulsion, even now your eyes stare into my own. I contemplate what you see within my teal cat eyes.
I drink your beauty in one last time, slowly memorising each detail of your silver blue eyes, the curve of your cheek, the fullness of your pearl lips and your silk fox hair.
I've kissed your lips held your head
We have already said our goodbyes, somehow we both knew it would come to this. One of us would fall in the battle, either him or me.
Our bodies had made a promise, conveying words that can't be spoken, emotions that can't be expressed through speech.
I was yours and you were mine.
I know you well, I know your smell
I should fall to the ground, it's where I belong. On the filthy dirty floor looking up to you.
My body has begun decaying, the large black wings slowly dissolving into nothingness to once again join the earth from whence I came. The slight breeze carries my ashes to you.
Even in my most simplest component I still yearn to be with you.
I've been addicted to you
Your incandescent eyes tear up, the salty tears threatening to fall again. Their taste still linger in my mouth.
I ache so much to feel your skin, to let my marble fingers feel your radiating warmth for one last time. I outstretch my hand reaching for you.
I ask the question as I did last night the precise moment my body had entered you,
your body which had lay beneath my own and I had marveled at your breasts rising with each ragged breath you took.
How our eyes had locked, the intense passion and lust in yours had reflected my own.
Then I had leaned in and whispered into the shell of your ear,...
''Do I scare you, girl?''
A sad smile now graces your luscious lips, I know you remember.
''I'm not afraid''.
That sweet voice pierces my body, if I had a heart it would surely break to see the pain in your eyes.
The teal tear tracks on my face feel warm and they tingle with a sensation as if true tears were now flowing down them.
You reach out in turn for my hand, your fingers so lightly brushing my own and causing me to disintergrate.
Ironic that in the end I was the weak and fragile one, not you..but then you had never been weak to begin with.
I see it now,..I can see so clearly your heart lying in my hand, It's exquisite.
Your hand remains outstretched towards me in vain. I shall never forget you my precious fox girl. Your flame hair still burns my eyes, scorching my memory and branding me yours.
I'm so hollow,... I'm so hollow.
Thanks for reading!