"Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin."

Pam sat on the tiny couch flipping through a magazine and trying to kill time before Ryan was finished making a big sales pitch with Michael. Eyeing Erin, she happily sighed to herself remembering how she spent nearly ten whole years at that same exact desk wasting her life away.

A few feet away were Jim and Karen. The two were near Jim's desk and laughing over something stupid Dwight had just done. Suspiring enough, Pam hadn't paid much attention but couldn't help but feel happy for them. Just a little over a year ago they had become engaged. Thinking back on their history, Pam knew in her heart that Jim and her were just meant to be friends.

She couldn't believe she was back here, in fact ever since Ryan had started visiting Scranton from the city, she felt as if she was in some sort of weird dream. This was the dull boning depressing lifestyle she had lived for so long.


She looked at her sparking ring on her finger and smiled.

Just then the front door to the office swung open and Ryan came smartly in dressed in his black suit and slicked back hair. Ever since his promotion to New York his sense of style along with his personally had changed. From going to being just a shy temp with shaggy hair and always dressed In navy blue shirts, to working in the city, sporting a constant five o'clock shadow, and dressing in silk blues and red wines in his expensive suits. Pam didn't seem to mind though…seeing that they had just married over a year or so now.

Pam seemed half surprised seeing him walk through the front door talking to her on his blackberry. Looking at her, he pressed a button and turned his cell off before walking over to her, his eyes outraged and his face flushed. Pam usually now knew whenever something was bothering him.

"What is it?"

She asked putting the magazine down and looking up at his intense blue eyes. The smell of cologne right away filled the air as he stared down at her and took a second to get himself together. In the background Pam noticed for just a second that Jim and Karen were listening.

"I just got off the phone with that daycare; they said there's a problem."

Right away panic leaped into Pam's throat.

"Problem, what kind of problem?"

"They said Teagan was choking earlier but it turned out to just be a cough after he ate, now their saying he bumped his head when they were trying to put him down for his nap."


"I'm going down there right now and I told them I'm calling my lawyer, I told you that wasn't a good place Pam, Jesus!"

Pam was too worked up to even notice the glances they were getting from around the office.

"I'm going now, you coming?"

Pam quickly nodded and weakly smiled at everyone who was watching as she stood up getting her stuff together. Right away Ryan's hand was in hers and began to lead towards the door. Heading straight to the elevator, Pam felt her stomach begin to twist in knots. Ryan's hand was squeezing to hard, which usually meant he was nervous about something. Hitting the button to the lobby, Ryan's face began to look flushed, as he glared ahead.

"You think he's okay?"

"He better be."

Ryan snapped, Pam quickly looked down at her shoes before Ryan's hand relaxed and he deeply sighed.

"I'm sorry I snapped…I'm just worried. There's a lot going on and I knew that place wasn't that great and…"

Pam looked at him, holding back tears.

"I'm s-sorry…I just…"

Ryan quickly shook his head.

"No, don't be sorry, it's just those fucking idiots at that daycare…"

Pam knew what he was really thinking and sniffled in and decided that things would just get worse if she got upset. Lately, ever since Ryan got promoted she noticed his temper. Something he would never show her of course, whenever they were together he was sweet and protective, he usually only showed this to Michael whenever he came to Scranton which was three times a week or after he had a stressful day.

And of course when it came to the baby.

Getting into the elevator, Ryan's hand began to gently rub Pam's back.

January 2007

Pam sat behind her desk looking at her computer. A sad smile was on her face as she stared at the drawing she had done which won the contest. She knew it wasn't a big deal, that just a bunch of 6th graders had chosen her and one-hundred dollars really wasn't anything…

But after the past couple of months she had, this truly made her happy.

She was sad though, there wasn't anyone to share her happiness nor seemed interested.

Just then Ryan came behind her desk to use the fax machine, after being a temp for nearly two years he pretty much knew the whole copier, fax, and printer system like the back of his hand…just like Pam.

"What's that?"


Pam saw that Ryan had some papers in his hand and was looking over his shoulder at the computer screen. A little embarrassed, Pam smiled.

"Just a drawing I did…I just found out it won a contest today."

"Really? Oh my God that's awesome!"

Pam was slightly surprised at how excited Ryan's voice sounded. Leaning closer, Ryan pointed to the screen.

"That's really nice, you sketch and paint it?"

"Yeah, I used water colors…"

"That's really cool Pam, that's great."

"Thanks Ryan…"

Pam smiled as Ryan grinned at her and walked back to his desk. Feeling a little good about herself, she smiled and couldn't believe the reaction she got. The entire day nobody had really seemed to care, but Ryan made her really feel good about what she did. Glancing over she saw Ryan sit down and for the first time ever…

Noticed he was kinda cute.


Ryan and Pam both walked through the two glass doors which were covered in painted handprints. It was the daycare which was a couple of miles from Dunder Mifflin. Whenever Ryan had to visit Scranton which was three times every month, Pam and Teagan would come along and they would stay at Pam's parent's overnight. At first Pam didn't think traveling back and forth like this would work, mostly with the baby, for the first few months Ryan agreed with her but then began getting more and more nervous leaving Pam and the baby alone in the city while he was gone.

Not wanting Ryan to travel back and forth and drive at night she proposed the idea that once Teagan was a few months old she would drive with him and they could stay overnight if it made him feel better.

They had been doing this for the last several months. Teagan believe it or not was an angel driving for such a long distance, most of the time he just slept in his car seat.

Visiting Scranton at first seemed a little scary, but the truth was Pam understood where Ryan was coming from and ever since Ryan got down on one knee and proposed after they found out she was pregnant she knew she truly loved him and didn't want to be away from him. Life honestly had spun out of control ever since the night of Phyllis' wedding, but she liked the fact she had broken away from her depressing lifestyle…always wondering if rejecting Jim had been a mistake.

Since Pam's parents both still worked, Pam didn't honestly like the idea of bringing the baby into the office ever day. Mostly because of germs, and the fact Michael, Dwight, and Creed always seemed to make her extra nervous whenever they held him.

On top of it, Kelly who still was bitter over what happened between Ryan and Pam often made rude comments whenever they came in. The last time was when Pam was sitting in the break room feeding Teagan his bottle when Kelly came in smirking.

"You know, if you don't breast feed him he's gonna get fat…in fact I bet he'll get fat look at his arms and legs all ready."

Just then Ryan was behind her in the doorway glaring at her.

"It's called baby fat Kelly, and he has it because he's healthy…sorry we don't starve our child to look good."

Kelly's eyes right away dropped and she rushed to the ladies room to cry.

Pam knew it wasn't such a good idea after that.

She usually stayed at her parent's home with the baby during the day as much as she missed Ryan, but understood if she could do it nearly every day back in the city she could do it for a few visits here. Besides, she loved being home with the baby. Often she would just dress him up in the millions of tiny outfits she bring with her and take photos and send them to Ryan on her phone. She loved being a mother, most of all with Teagan. Somehow looking back at how terrified she was of being a mother during the pregnancy now all seemed so silly.

But she did want Teagan to have structure since back in the city the two days out of the week that she went to her art classes she had him in one of the highest expense daycares in the city. Ryan and her had searched high and low for this place and the waiting list had been for nearly six months.

There she knew the baby was taken care of by the best of the best, and from the looks of it the daycare was beginning to rub off. Just the other day Pam was laying in the apartment with Teagan and watched him point to the blue rubber blocks he had when she asked him what color the ocean and fishes were. Even though Teagan could barley talk yet, she thought this was amazing and showed Ryan the second he walked through the door.

So while they were in Scranton Pam had found the best daycare possible a couple of miles from Dunder Mifflin. At first Ryan hated the idea, saying anything from Scranton was trashy and that he didn't trust these people. Smiling, Pam cupped his stubble covered face and kissed him telling him to relax and quit being such a yuppy.

The daycare seemed to be working out just fine, by the time they picked the baby up he had been fed and was ready to sleep through the night. They would bring him back, put his down for the night and usually stay up a few hours sharing a bottle of wine while Ryan vented about how much he hated the Scranton branch.

But now Pam felt like a complete idiot. Walking hand in hand with him they entered the lobby in which the A.C was on full blast. Ryan right away headed towards the front desk where a woman was answering phones.

"Excuse me, where is Teagan Howard?"

The woman looked up before telling the person on the other line to hold. Placing the phone down she faked a smile up at him.

"What's the name?"

"Teagan Howard, he's my son and…"

Pam stepped in after hearing Ryan's voice raise three pitches.

"He's in the Butterfly room, we received a call saying there was a problem…"

The woman's eyes lit up.

"Oh Mr. and Mrs. Howard, I'm sorry…just hold on a moment and I'll call upstairs to Sally the director."

Pam and Ryan watched as the girl pressed a few buttons on her phone and waited.

"Hello Sally…yes, Mr. and Mrs. Howard are here…yep, I will…thanks."

Hanging the phone up she smiled at them.

"Sally is on her way down, if you would like to take a seat…"

"No we don't want to take a seat! Where is my son?"

Ryan snapped, even making Pam jump up slightly. Looking at him she suddenly understood that he wasn't angry…he was scared.

February 2007


Pam jumped at the sound of shattering glass as she sat outside in the garden at Phyllis' reception.

Faintly hearing yet another Police song, she sat there with her heels in her hand and suddenly felt very depressed.

She was alone.

Roy all night had been trying to be friendly, and Jim and Karen were happily dancing while she looked around and knew how close she had gotten trapped into a wasteful unhappy life.

But then again, what was she living now?

The sound made her look over further down the pathway, surprisingly enough for a winter night it had really warmed up and she heard crickets in the bushes somewhere. Sitting forward on the bench, she saw Kelly standing in her white dress and yelling at Ryan who was cupping his left hand with his right now.

"Jesus Kelly!"

Pam saw shattered glass on the pavement around them.

Kelly burst into tears before hitting his shoulder.

"You'll just run back like you always do!"

"Kelly stop it!"

"What afraid someone might hear?"

"Kelly, I've been trying to tell you I've been unhappy…please…"

"Oh fuck off!"

Kelly then spun around before running away, tears running down her face before she disappeared. Pam meanwhile sat there stunned, her mouth hanging open slightly after seeing such an embarrassing scene play out. Looking at Ryan she squinted and saw him snap his eyes shut still holding his hand and swear under his breath.

Slowly getting up, she walked over.


Ryan looked over and some color flushed in his cheeks.


She stepped forward.

"Is everything all right?"

Ryan looked around before sighing.

"Did you hear all of that?"

Pam shrugged.

"You and Kelly have a fight?"

"We broke up."


Ryan slowly nodded before Pam began coming closer, Ryan then held his hand up.

"Don't walk any closer, there's glass!"

Pam looked down and saw all the glittering pieces laying around on the pavement and that she still had her heels in her hand. Looking up, she saw blood begin to dribble in-between Ryan's fingers.

"Ryan! You're bleeding!"

Ryan looked at his hand and quickly cupped it.

"Yeah, Kelly threw a champaign glass at me…guess she got me."

Pam quickly balanced and slipped her heels on one by one before walking over, she heard some of the glass crunch as she walked.

"Let me see it…"

Ryan tried to keep his hand close to him.

"It's nothing really…"

Pam gently took his wrist and turned over his hand before seeing a few chunks of glass sticking out from Ryan's bleeding palm.

"That's bad, let's get inside…"

"No, it's okay. I was heading home anyways I'll clean it then…oh shit!"


"Kelly drove us…"

"It's okay I'll give you a lift."

"No, that's okay I'll see if Toby or…"

"Ryan, it's really okay, I wanted to get out of here anyways."

Ryan raised an eyebrow.

"Not having fun?"

Pam sighed.

"No, not really…"

"Guess this really isn't our night huh?"

Pam smirked a little, something she didn't think she would do all night.

"Yeah I guess not…"

"It's okay though, I'll get blood in your car…I'll just…"

"Wait, I have some tissues on my clutch come on."

Ryan followed her away from the broken glass and over to the bench where she left her clutch. Snapping it open she took her car keys out and tissues before taking his hand again. Gently she put it around his hand.

"We might need to go to the hospital, those look deep…"

"Naw, it's nothing…"

"Still…mind if we stop by my place first, I have a first aid kit and it should really be cleaned out."

"Pam you don't have to do that, it's late."

"No trust me…I want to keep my mind of things…okay?"

Ryan's beautiful blue eyes met hers and for a split second Pam felt the strangest fluttering return in her stomach, something she didn't expect at all.


He smiled at her. Smiling back, Pam lead him to her car. Unlocking it she opened his door first.


Shutting the door, she went around and got in herself. Staring the engine she took a second to let it warm up.

"Smells good in here."


"You're air fresher, what is it?"

Pam quickly smiled.

"Oh it's cookies…"

Smiling, she put the car in drive and began to head out of the parking-lot. Unaware of her, Jim and Karen were on the front steps sharing a drink. Watching the blue car drive by Karen smiled and tugged on Jim's arm.

"Looks like Ryan and Pam are going home together…interesting…"

Jim couldn't believe his eyes as he watched the car disappear out of sight.


"Hope you don't mind if I use these…"

Pam came into her tiny kitchen with a first-aid kit under one arm and a bag of ice in the other. Ryan meanwhile was sitting down, his jacket draped over the back of his chair.

"Use what?"

"My tweezers, I cleaned them of course."

Ryan smiled.

"What planning on plucking my bushy eyebrows while you're at it?"

Pam laughed before setting everything down and un-clicking the plastic case. Taking the bandages and bottles out, she hummed softly under her breath. Unaware that Ryan was watching and smiling.

"You have a nice place…are those some of your paintings?"

Pam looked up and saw that Ryan was looking at the three small paintings she had done last summer which now hung near the window. They were just different fruits she had done using water colors.

"Yeah, just something I was playing around with.

"Their good."

Pam looked at Ryan and that same feeling returned.


Gently her fingers made him open his hand. The cuts weren't bleeding as much but she knew she needed to get those tiny chunks of glass out.

"Okay, you ready?"

Ryan nodded as Pam took the tweezers and went to work, taking the first piece out she saw Ryan very softly bite down on his lip before she tossed the bloody piece of glass into the bowl she had set down earlier.

"You okay?"

Ryan nodded as Pam went to work again.

"So, what made you break up with her…if you don't mind me asking?"

Ryan looked at her.

"Where do I even start?"

Pam smiled as Ryan went on.

"I don't know…when I started here I was thinking it was just going to be an easy gig for a year…I was just being an idiot and having fun and everything with Kelly happened really fast. I mean yeah I'm going to business school and I love it, but now that I'm promoted I really don't know how long I'll be staying here. Kelly wasn't the person I thought she was and I wasn't being fair to her…I was unhappy."

"How do you think Monday is going to go?"

Ryan shrugged.

"I honestly don't care…she can call me every name in the book but I've just had enough."

"Yeah I know what you mean…"

Ryan cocked his head slightly to the side.

"You do?"

Pam looked up as she got the second piece out, surprised Ryan hadn't flinched this time.

"Well, it's just been a rough year, between calling the wedding off with Roy and everything…"

"And Jim leaving…"

Pam looked up.


"Jim, you two were close…the merger and everything must have driven you a little crazy. I know it did it for me."

Pam faintly smiled.

"Yeah…I guess so."

"So how are you now?"



Pam took the last piece out and began to unscrew the cap to the clear bottle beside her.

"You know…that's the first time in a very long time anyone has asked me that."

Ryan smiled before Pam sighed and took a second to think.

"I'm happier than before but not by much…I guess things didn't turn out exactly how I thought they would."

Ryan locked eyes with her and suddenly Pam felt the fluttering happen worse than ever. Her hands suddenly felt numb and she couldn't seem to get the cap off this bottle.



"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Ryan sat back for a second and looked at his cut hand.

"I better go, thanks Pam…"

Before he could even lift himself up from his seat Pam grabbed him by his shoulders and strongly kissed him, completely catching him off guard.


"Well that was interesting…"

Ryan and Pam both laid side by side in Pam's unmade bed. Pam's dress had been thrown to the ground and she laid there only in her black lace bra. Ryan meanwhile laid in his boxers that he had just put back on and sat there with claw marks on his shoulders and his hair a complete mess.

It seemed to be a million degrees in there.

Pam, still trying to get her breathing under control laid there before sitting up, her beautiful red hair falling to her shoulders.

"I've never done anything like this before…"

"Me either…"

Pam looked over at him and couldn't believe what they had been doing for the past half an hour. She clearly remembered being pushed down on her bed, both in a frantic hurry to undress and how right before it happened, in-between all the heavy petting and kissing she had looked into his eyes. She remembered how she had began to gasp when he entered her and how he had gently covered her mouth with his and slowly she felt herself begin to slip away.

She remembered how different it all felt.

Ryan sat up as well and rubbed the back of his neck before clearing his throat and looking at her.

"Listen, I didn't do this to get back at Kelly or anything I just…"

"If I remember clearly you didn't do anything, I was the one who took advantage."

Ryan laughed, a little embarrassed before looking around the dark bedroom.

"So what now?"

Pam honestly couldn't think. For the first time ever she had done something wild without thinking…and it felt good. Looking at him, she reached over and cupped his smooth face before kissing his cheek.

"I say, we wrap that hand up of yours…and come back here so you can do me again…how does that sound?"

Ryan grinned.


Right before Ryan really did get upset Sally, the preschool director came through the doors that lead upstairs.

"All right, I'm here…sorry for the wait."

Ryan walked straight up to her.

"I want to see my son."

Sally eyed Pam for a second and Pam felt sorry. Sally had been very helpful to her every since she enrolled Teagan into this program and was always a comfort to her whenever they spoke on the phone or in person. Seeing Ryan like this put her stomach in knots.

But Sally kept her cool.

"Of course, he's right upstairs…"

"Is he okay?"

"Of course he is, we put some ice on his head and he seemed a little fussy but she's settling down."

"How did he bump his head?"

"Mr. Howard if we go upstairs to my office…"


Sally cleared her throat before Pam nervously stared at the floor. She understood Ryan was worried, he had every right to be…Teagan was his whole world. Before anyone could say anything, Ryan pushed past Sally and rushed down the hall. Pam stood there for a second, not exactly knowing what to say. Instead she took a deep breath and silently followed Ryan.

Walking in the next room, she saw Ryan pacing back and forth with Teagan in his arms. One of Sally's councilors sat down watching him. Ryan held onto Teagan tight, kissing the top of the baby's head and softly cooing him.

Sighing, she honestly knew if anything happened to the baby…Ryan would lose his mind.