One-Shot. Totally AU fourth season, Jess never left. What would've happened if Rory had taken up Taylor's offer as ice cream queen? How much mocking would she have received from her boyfriend?

For the story's sake, let's also pretend that the whole Yale debacle of packing never happened. She's bought all her stuff and she's ready to go. They had the right date all along for move-in day.

And as for my other story, 'This Never Happened Before,' I'm working on an update as we speak.

"I can't believe Taylor guilt tripped you into being the ice cream queen for the grand opening of his stupid parlor," said Lorelai, as they walked away from the giant poster of Rory, complete with photo shopped crown, scepter and cape plastered smack dab in the middle of Stars Hollow. Rory was sure that there were more copies of the poster tacked up in numerous of their usual haunts in the town.

"Well, why not one more embarrassing costume to wear in front of the whole town before I head off to Yale because after this, I'll never be able to come back and show my face in Stars Hollow again. So might as well go out in style and free ice cream."

"Does this mean, that as the mother of the beautiful and all-mighty ice cream queen, I get free rocky road? Two scoops, of course."

"I'll see what strings your royal highness has with Taylor." Rory opened the door to Luke's where Jess was serving Kirk a sandwich, cut up in circles. He saw her eyes brighten as she caught his stare and the somewhat pitiful look on her face changed into a big smile. Lorelai sat down while Rory went to go properly greet him.

"Hey you," she said, hugging him. Jess said hello by way of a kiss, which caused Lorelai to start catcalling.

"Hey! Stop making out over there, Diner Boy and get me some coffee!" Jess rolled his eyes, smiled at Rory and watched as she went to go join Lorelai. He came back with a pot of fresh non-decaf coffee so he wouldn't get his head bit off by the caffeine addicts and two large mugs.

"Such good service!" exclaimed Rory, craning her head up to give Jess a peck on the cheek. He smirked in response and Rory felt herself blush, especially when Lorelai catcalled again. Luke then came in the diner and stopped in front of the girls.

"Rory, uh, why is there a giant picture of you, wearing a crown tacked up to the wall of Miss Patty's saying that you're our town's uh…ice cream queen?"

"Way to be so loud and obvious, Duke," said Lorelai. The whole diner had heard and Kirk had gotten up, kneeled in front of Rory and started begging for her to give free root beer floats to the common people of Stars Hollow, despite him not being 'worthy' enough to be in the newly named queen of the ice cream's presence.

"Look, Rory! You've got your own personal jester!" laughed Lorelai. Kirk got up, glared at her and went back to his table. Jess was in the back but heard the ruckus going on outside and went to go see what was happening.

"Hey, Jess, your girlfriend's been duped into being Taylor's ice cream queen for the opening of the parlor tomorrow," said Lorelai, pointing to a very embarrassed Rory who had turned so red and was staring into her cup of coffee.

"Oh god, now this I've got to see!" he exclaimed.

"Okay, Jess-Rhymes-With Tess, you are banned from going to the opening," said Rory.

"I'm crushed. But I guess I have to do what the queen wants or I might get my head cut off. Or maybe not get a free milkshake. What must I do to have her majesty allow me to see her in her most mock-worthy moment ever?"

"Promise not to take any pictures," she grumbled, crossing her arms in annoyance.

"Can't promise you that. Are you going to be wearing a cape too? Forget the camera, I need a camcorder!"

"You know, I think this is the most I've ever heard you say in one conversation."

"Forgive me my queen when I say this, but this is got to be the best thing that I'm experiencing in this town ever since I got here."

"I hate you."

"I'm sorry."

"Jess!"

"My mistake. I'm sorry, Queen Rory. There. I properly addressed you with your name. Does that mean I don't have to be hung?" Rory looked at Lorelai and Luke, whom had both been laughing at hers and Jess' bantering the whole time since he'd come back in. Lorelai tried giving her a face of concern, but it quickly cracked and she was laughing at her daughter again.

The things I do for this town, she thought.

The next day, Rory warily eyed the red cape, plastic crown and scepter that had been sent early in the morning by Kirk. She'd woken up and they'd been placed on a chair in her room with an attached note.

Your jester came to deliver them. You might want to think about repaying him with ice cream. Just a suggestion, your highness.

Love, mom

Hours after she'd woken up, she was again staring at the three crappy looking 'royal' objects. Her hair was straight and shiny, flowing past her shoulders. She'd put on a breathable, cool, white voile sundress and delicate sandals. Rory already looked like a queen and figured that the accessories that had been sent would definitely mar her almost-perfect appearance. She sighed, obliged and placed the crown, complete with fake, oversized gems on her head, tied the cape around her shoulders and took the scepter in her hand. She opened the door to leave her room and was caught off-guard by a bright flash.

"Geez, mom."

"Sorry. It's not every day one's daughter gets to be an ice cream queen. You look, er, majestic. Ready to go? Kirk came by again saying that everything was ready and that everyone was waiting for their beloved royal to show up."

Rory rolled her eyes.

"Let's go and get this over with. And no promises on the rocky road."

"But, but, I've groomed you for this day! It's because of me that you're the queen! Rory!"

"Come on, slow poke. Move! The queen demands that you move!"

"Wow, someone's finally getting into character."

Literally, the whole town was gathered in the square. Children were eating scoops of ice cream either in cones or cups, holding balloons and most of the parents were with napkins, wiping away their children's messy faces. Kirk had a root beer float and Taylor was at the podium, microphone at the ready. Rory saw her "throne" set up on the stage and Taylor, much to her chagrin, saw her.

"Ladies and gentleman, our wonderful, caring ice cream queen has shown up! Everyone, help me in applauding for our own, Queen Rory Gilmore!"

Oh my god.

She slowly made her way through the crowd as they clapped and cheered for her. Rory looked at Taylor who was gesturing for her to wave to the populace. She did it shyly and finally took the steps up to the stage. She sat down and saw Lorelai, Luke and Jess, right up front. Luke, health conscious Luke…Luke, the one that was opposed to the diner was actually there, eating ice cream. His good-looking nephew was looking straight at her with his usual smirk glued on his face, camera in hand and had chocolate ice cream in what else? A cone.

I need cones. She smiled at the memory. He saw her face changed and wondered what she was thinking about that could make her smile so broadly. It was hot, she had a warm cape on and she was being embarrassed in front of the whole town. Jess figured she should be fully pissed off, especially since he'd been nonstop with the camera since she'd taken the seat at the throne. But she was smiling. And despite her lame cape and crown, he still thought she looked beautiful, especially with that look on her face.

Rory was finally relieved of her royal duties, grabbed a float to go and after ditching the cape and crown with Lorelai, ran off to the bridge. Jess was already there, seated and throwing rocks into the water.

"Good Queen Rory!" he exclaimed, sarcastically. Instead of yelling at him for making fun of her, she sat down next to him and kissed him.

"I'm honored. I've won the affections of a queen. Hey, for what it's worth, despite the fact that I'm going to mock you for the rest of our lives…you made a great ice cream queen." He said it sincerely and Rory was surprised; Jess wasn't usually sincere.

"Thank you. And I guess I can handle the mocking."

"You were smiling up there. Shouldn't you have been morbidly embarrassed while the whole town gawked and stared at you?"

"I was, for a little while. And then I saw you eating your ice cream…in a cone and I started thinking about that night. I think that night, even though I ended up in the hospital, will always be one of my favorites."

"Why?"

"Because I think that's when I realized that I was falling for you."

"I see."

"Sorry I'm acting all sentimental, Mr. Monosyllable, but I'm just, I'm going to miss you while I'm at Yale."

"Aw, Rory, c'mon. We'll still see each other. And remember. 22.8 miles and your boyfriend has a car to drive to Yale whenever he wants to see you."

"Come as often as you can."

Jess met Rory's stare and slowly leaned in to kiss her.

"The royals sure know how to kiss, eh?"

"Shut up."

"Yes, your highness."

Well, that's my take on the ice cream queen incident. I tried. And they all lived happily ever after.

BB