Disclaimer: This is a fan written work based on the works of J.K. Rowling. It might possibly also have some elements of a number of other works. There is no money being made from this, it is merely a work meant for the entertainment of myself and the masses. This is merely for fun, and no profit. I repeat: I am not making any money out of writing this.

Warning: OCs OOCs Sues, and some crack. You have been warned.

Note 1: AU.






One Shot



Apparition is one of the more instantaneous modes of transportation readily available to adult witches and wizards, of course one must learn how to perform this ability as well as get a license before being allowed to use it legally. It is said that it is quite an uncomfortable mode of travel, but the benefits out weigh the downsides of using it, the downside being that uncomfortable feeling of being shoved or squeezed through a rubber tube. No pain no gain, as they say.

According to Wilkie Twycross, Ministry of Magic official and Apparition instructor, one must always remember The Three D's, which are determination, destination, and deliberation. One must have the equivalent of an iron will when it comes to the determination one must have to want to reach his or her destination. The destination must be clear in one's mind, there can be no stray thought or distracting image presenting itself in the middle of the preparation stage of the magical transportation. One must concentrate fully on the task at hand, which includes concentrating on the place, the final destination, else one may either leave something behind or end up somewhere else. One must also take things slowly, as rushing things normally ends up with something going wrong, terribly or no does not matter, as no one wants a mistake to even occur in the first place.

Concentration is the key to many things succeeding in life, there must always be a clear picture in one's head when it comes to a goal, or even a dream, to become a reality, which was exactly why it was still given importance when it came to a magical mode of transportation. Whereas the technological version of teleportation must only need inputting of coordinates and a push of a button or two, the magical version required the use of the person who would be performing the coming and going or going and coming as everything needed would come from one source only accessible by the user, that being the user him or her self.


Harry Potter excelled at things that held his interest, and on the other hand did not perform as stunningly as when it came to things he held only a mild interest to no interest at all. He was easily distracted when it came to the things he held no real interest in, which, for example, ended up with him sleeping in History of Magic class, but who in their right minds would want to listen to a clearly biased, not up to date, and dead, professor drone on and on about a single, clearly propagandic, topic. Hermione Granger and the Hogwarts' Ravenclaw House members, that's who, but they loved to study, information was their form of sustenance, food and water was only something that allowed them the energy to obtain their life energy, their reason for living.

Harry was not much of a fan of the precise and delicate art of potions making, this kid was an adrenaline junkie, and slow things such as potions really wasn't his thing. These things, while helpful and potentially harmful, took far too long for his attention span to find amusing or interesting. It was only thanks to the blatant display of dislike and disregard for his life made obvious by his potions professor that he even bothered to pay as much forced attention during the class.

Had it not been for Severus Snape, a lot of things would have already gone wrong in the potions lab, Neville Longbottom the least of the Slytherin Head's worries. Neville only blew up cauldrons or ruined his potions, but with Harry's luck, Hogwarts' dungeons would be lucky to survive at all.

He was in seventh year, his birthday was during the summer which permitted him to attend the Apparition classes during the school year. While he may have had some celebrity status, there were still some things that the government would not do for one in his unique position. They had rules and standards, and not even Dark Lord terminators were above such things, but of course that was only because Harry didn't want to give using his fame to get things he wanted a try as it was unfair and his friends were already slightly jealous of his position in their world, he didn't want to alienate them further from himself. He was their better, and they knew and grudgingly acknowledged it, they didn't mind so long as he continued to not flaunt it and wish to be more like them due to the circumstances in which he obtained his status and position in life.

While he preferred fast things, he wasn't really all that much of a fan of Apparition, since he had already experienced how the thing felt when he side-alonged it with someone else. The feeling was simply more than simply unpleasant, it was down right uncomfortable, but due to his conditioning of not wanting to show any possible weakness, he didn't throw up after that first experience, as much as he wanted to.

"Concentrate!" the instructor bellowed as they, Harry's group, were about to attempt their first long, -er, distance apparition, Harry accepted the fact that while unpleasant it might come in handy.

There was no real rush that came with participating in the training, in the Apparition class. Before proceeding with the actual transportation, he caught sight of a bird in the sky, flying freely and unencumbered. It was all the distraction he needed to lose his focus on the task at hand.

"Concentrate! You don't want to leave anything behind do you?" the instructor said, then gave the signal for them to begin, "Go!"

Harry, like all the others, didn't hesitate and simply did as they were told, and traveled the distance. When they appeared at their instructed location, luckily none of them got stuck up a tree, they were told to check themselves over to make sure that nothing was left behind.

Harry, who knew that he wasn't concentrating when he left the starting point, did a thorough check of his person, noting that normally a lapse in concentration, determination, and such, resulted in the loss of an arm or a leg, both easily reconnected to the body. But once he found what he was missing, time stopped for him, he actually died for a brief moment.

He stood stock still, unmoving from his spot, he didn't approach one of the magical reversal squad members or medical staff on standby, he just stood there, are still as a statue.

His state of being caught the attention of one of his friends, Hermione and so she walked up to him knowing that something was wrong. She had noticed his lack of attention, and thus knew that he was possibly internally berating himself for it. But the total absence of movement one his part was a little bit new, which meant that something was really wrong. Her thoughts moved a mile a minute as she hurriedly made her way over to her friend.

He didn't turn and face her when she called his name, it was a worrying sight. What in the world could he possibly have lost, aside from his concentration. But before she could physically shake him out of his stupor, he let out a bestial and mournful cry, his voice shouting and screaming out to the heavens over the injustice that had befallen him.

His cry, like a dying wail, caught the attention of all present. He then did something that no one expected, he groped at his crotch, stuck a hand down his own pants, and even pulled the band away from his body to have a look see for the second time that day. It was gone, the whole package had been left behind. Why of all things did it have to be that, why not an arm or a leg like most other people, or his thinking head even. Why did it have to be that.

When it finally dawned on him that his situation was real, he dropped to his knees, then immediately without warning gestured at the spot between his legs with missing parts and appendage, wrung his hands and arms, while screaming one word in anguish, pain, and sorrow.

"WWWHHHHHYYY!" it was a mournful cry, and his anguish at the loss, while surely temporary, pulled forth a portion of his magic which manifested in a shockwave that emanated from his body and washed over the whole of the magical world, causing each and every male to clutch at his precious, and feel an utter sense of pity, loss, and sympathy, for whatever of their gender had suffered such a terrible loss of member.

"I'm s-sorry for your loss, Mr Potter," Wilke said patting him on the shoulder in comfort, while the occurrence was the first ever documented one in magical history, it was still a possibility, though no one had ever thought that it would ever really happen, "Y-you'll get it back..."

"I k-know," Harry shakily said, as he was helped back up to his feet and led to a chair, "I-Its just...why can't anything normal happen to me..."

"My deepest sympathies Mr Potter," Wilke said, "But it is partially your fault...but I guess even so...such a loss...I wouldn't even wish such a thing to happen to my most hated of enemies."

"Same here," Harry choked out, "Not even Voldemort deserves such a fate."

-insert massive population flinch due to the mentioning of the name-


While the incident was a painful reminder to all of the importance of remembering and keeping in mind The Three D's, Harry actually bounced back to life the next day. While he himself was a celebrity, he never really got to experience one of the upsides of his position, hordes of girls wanting to bear his children. With the revelation of his actual measurements, released for public consumption by the mediwitch that had reattached his precious, he was hounded day and night by the hordes of females, and a few males, of the Hogwarts student population, and then some.

For once in his life, something good had come out of something bad. For once in his life he was normal, and for once in his life he could accept that Ron Weasley had an acceptable reason to be jealous of him.