A/N: I don't own Covert Affairs or it's characters, just borrowing them…

This is my first Joan/Arthur fic as well as my first fic ever, so please review! Thanks

BIG thank you to genjacq and her "mind grapes" ;) lol


Joan's POV

I stared at the clock. 8:46 pm.

When would Arthur be home? And what if he didn't agree with me?

I had been working hard at the CIA when I met Arthur. I knew what I wanted, and falling in love was not part of the plan. But his gaze captured mine the moment I walked into Clandestine Services. And then, after a few weeks of secret glances on my part, I learned he was married. I was heartbroken, but I picked up the pieces and moved on. A few weeks later, Arthur asked me to dinner. Was it wrong? Yes, but I was foolish, young, and desperately in love. And so the story goes….

We married, and it was wonderful. He left his wife, and I loved him like I had never loved anyone before. But now I felt it all slipping away.

I looked around the room. I had considered candles or mood lighting, but it felt too cliché. I'd changed from my charcoal gray work dress to a red silk nightie that hit my upper thigh over an hour ago.

I waited nervously. 8:58. And then I heard the creak of the front door.

"Joan?"

Oh god. I stared at myself in the mirror.

"Joan, honey?"

I turned around to see Arthur standing in the doorway of our bedroom. I got a warm feeling throughout my body, and I smiled.

"Arthur, th-there's something I wanted to discuss with you."

I watched as he slipped off his suit jacket and hung it in the closet. He began to undo his tie, walking to the dresser. He then smiled, walking over to me. He stroked a piece of my pale blonde hair, sending shivers down my spine.

"Listen, Arthur, I….," I didn't know how to get it out.

"What is it, Joan?"

"I still love you, Arthur. And I want this to work. I feel distant from you, and I don't want our marriage to fall apart. I know things have been getting better, and I want it to stay that way."

Arthur looked at me. I couldn't read his eyes, and that frightened me. And then he kissed me. It was full of passion, strong. It had been a while since he had kissed me this way. I surrendered to the only person I could ever let my guard down around, wrapping my arms around him. He pulled me toward our bed, guiding me down gently. I heard the sound of him slipping out of his shoes, never once breaking the kiss. Once it ended, I pulled him forward, unbuttoning his shirt. He laid down next to me, kissing me again and again. I sighed. I had missed this so much. I pulled him closer, holding him as tight as I could, kissing him deeply, letting him hold me. I felt safe in his arms.