I don't own Glee or it's characters, just borrowing them…
It had been two weeks since the Glee Club had gotten it's second chance, and the kids were on fire. Once the Glee club was safe, they were all so much happier. I could see now that Glee was more important to them than winning, and I couldn't be prouder. Another part of it was due to the excitement of summer coming. The hallways between classes were pure energy and excitement, because they had one more week before they could sleep in again and watch tv all day if they wanted, or go swimming (no beaches in Lima). Usually I was excited at the prospect of summer too, but nothing made me that happy anymore. Inside, I was empty, and I knew why: I had blown my chance with Emma. If I lost her for good, it would kill me.
I glanced at the clock, which said 4:17. I would finish grading Brittany's Spanish test, and then go home. 58%. Well, at least she had improved. Her first one was pretty bad, considering she lost the first two points for spelling her own name wrong and put a sombrero as every answer, except for the few she copied off Quinn. That story used to make me laugh, but now all I could was remember Emma's soft, sweet laugh when I told her a few months ago. I sighed, scooping up the remaining tests to grade at home and I headed out my classroom door, turning off the lights.
When I got in my car, I pushed play on cd player, not even bothering to look at the cd. As I started up the car, Jason Mraz's voice echoed through my car. Hello, tell me you know, yeah, you figured me out/ Something gave it away…
I looked at Mr. Shue. Yesterday I had gone to see him about choreography at 4:30 and he was already gone. I could tell he was depressed, as you know I have a psychic sixth-sense. He was just sitting next to Matt in a chair, barely listening to Kurt's performance of "Today 4 U" from Rent, with drum accompaniment from Finn. I grinned at the sight of my boyfriend banging on the drums with the addition of some plastic buckets, which Kurt had requested for more of an authentic sound. Even I have to admit it was one of Kurt's best solos. He had gone all out, with the wig, stage makeup, and "more fashion-forward" Santa outfit, which he had explained beforehand. But didn't even notice.
The bell rang, and everyone shuffled out. Finn came over and gave me a kiss. "You coming?"
Ever since Regionals, Finn and I had been together, for real this time. As much as I loved him, I wanted what I did next to be 100% anonymous. So I kissed him back, and said, "In a minute. I want to ask Brad about the set list I'm working on for Sectionals."
"Ok. My locker?"
He kissed me again, and off he went, catching up with Noah to discuss who knows what. I was just glad they were speaking again. I looked around, making sure Brad was gone, then placed the sheet music to "If it Kills Me" by Jason Mraz on the piano. I had seen and Miss Pillsbury kissing in the hallway two weeks ago, and I had figured out exactly what he needed. I smiled to myself, and quietly slipped out the door.
I went back to the choir room, hoping to find an extra Spanish textbook I had left there last week, when something on top of the piano caught my eye. Maybe Kurt had left his stuff from earlier. What did he perform? It was Santa Baby, right? I got closer and saw some sheet music. Rachel, I groaned. Sectionals weren't for months! But when I looked at the song, I realized it wasn't for the Glee Club. It was for me.
I sat down at the piano and played the first notes, singing the familiar lyrics.
Hello, tell me you know/Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away/And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face/To know that I know that you know now
And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking/You know nothing
Cause you and I/Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better/Than you and your boyfriend
Thoughts of Emma flooded through me. Memories of our first kiss, running down the hall to stop her from leaving McKinley, like in the end of a movie. Our first date at my house, when we danced to "Hello". Every kiss, every smile, every laugh. Her adorable outfits, her obsession with clean. Not everyone would find that attractive, but it was one of the things I loved most about her. I loved her more than anything in the entire world. What else could I do to show it?
Rachel had shown up at my door, I assumed coming from Glee practice. It hurt just to think about Glee, and who was just leaving the choir room, his beautiful face, his dreamy voice when he sang with the kids….
"Miss Pillsbury? I need your advice on a song for Sectionals, since you were there last time and you saw everyone's reactions. Do you have a minute?"
I sighed. Will would probably be gone by now, it was safe.
"Sure, Rachel. I'd be happy to."
"Great!" The young girl smiled, and bounced down the hall. I followed her. Rachel was lucky. She had gotten her fairy tale ending. They may have lost Regionals, but Rachel finally had Finn, and I was happy for her. I saw them all the time in the hallway, kissing and whispering to each other. In love. I pushed those thoughts away as Rachel and I neared the choir room. I heard singing, but I figured it was Finn. She smiled, and I thought I saw a hint of excitement on her face, like she knew something I didn't, but it vanished before I could tell for sure.
Well all I really wanna do is love you /A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me/ As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me/ If it kills me
I saw Will sitting at the piano, playing his heart out. The emotion on his face was so moving, a few tears slid down his cheek. I tried to hold back my tears, sniffling a little. He was so caught up in playing that he didn't notice me or Rachel. I looked to my side, but Rachel was gone. Hmm.
Suddenly, the music stopped.
Now the tears fell. Just hearing his voice as he said my name, full of sadness and pain. I couldn't look at him. I turned my head and tried to walk away, but he took my hand.
"Th-th-that was beautiful, Will," I said, almost to quietly for him to hear. Don't do it Emma!, I thought. Carl! Your dentist! You are dating Carl! And he is a good man, and he doesn't deserve to be hurt! I couldn't let myself turn. If I looked into his eyes, it would start all over again. He and I both knew I wasn't through with him. I never would be. My eyes flicked up to his. Darn it, Emma. Don't let it happen.
I took a small step towards him, pulling him closer, and I kissed him, letting go of my thoughts and sending them soaring towards the roof of the choir room. He kissed back, softly. Everything came back to me, the kisses, the happiness, my fairy tale. I broke away.
"I love you, too."
He smiled, and suddenly there was no dentist. At least, not for now. Just me and him. Losing him again just might kill me.