153If I could tell you that being a parent was easy, I would. I was just glad that school was out and it was summer time now. Usually during the summer, I'd sleep in until at least ten o'clock, report to work at noon, and spend the evening with Gabriella and the rest of the Wildcats. But things were different now. I was married and I had two perfect twins and I couldn't be happier. Gabriella and I were in bed by nine after laying the twins down at eight. They both woke up around eleven or twelve to eat again, and then Marie would go to sleep. Benny, however, didn't go back to sleep so easily. He cried every single time we tried to lay him back down in his bassinette. One of us would have to hold him in the sitting in the rocker or in bed with us or we'd have to be standing up and bouncing him until he fell asleep in our arms. There were times he didn't go back to sleep up until one or two in the morning. Usually, I'd stay up with Gab until he fell back asleep, or I'd stay up by myself and let her go back to bed. I didn't want her to be tired during the day. She was the one recovering from having the twins, and the doctor said it would take six weeks until she was back to her regular self again.
But tomorrow would be six weeks since the twins were born and she still wasn't herself. She was as happy as I was to have the twins here and to be married, but she seemed sad in a way. I couldn't really describe it. We went to the two week appointment for the twins with their new doctor, Dr. Gillard, who said that she could have postpartum depression and to ask Dr. Robespierre about it when we went to our six week appointment. That was tomorrow. Tonight, I was laying in bed with Benny in my arms and Marie resting beside Gabriella. We spent a lot of nights like this, the four of us in our bed. They'd both lay with us in bed until Benny would give up and fall asleep and then I'd take them both back to their own beds. But I didn't mind. I loved laying here with my family and watching my girls sleep. Sometimes Benny and I would talk quietly, but most of the time, I'd just sit here with them, watching all of them lay here with me. I was happy, I just wished that Gabriella wasn't so complacent. She was happy, but she wasn't as animated as she used to be. The usual shine had been gone from her eyes since a few days after we got home from the hospital with the twins. I missed the life radiating from her eyes.
And it's not like we weren't talking about it. She know how she was acting and she was sorry for it, but she didn't know how to snap out of it. I tried all I could to bring her out of it, but it wasn't working. I had asked Mom and Dad if they could take care of the twins tomorrow evening so I could take Gabriella out. It was a surprise for her, but I hoped she'd be ok with it. She hadn't wanted to do anything but stay home with the twins. We'd barely gone out of the house since they were born. We went out on their one month birthday to the park, but weren't out long. She didn't want the babies to get too hot. We had gone after I got home from work and things were already starting to cool off, but she was still worried, but I couldn't help but think that she was using the twins as an excuse to get home. She spent all of her waking hours, except for when it was time to eat, in the nursery. I knew something had to change. I hoped the doctor had something that would make her feel better, something we both could do to help her be herself again. I love my wife more than anything, but I wanted my wife back, the woman I fell in love with.
I woke up the morning of our 6 week appointment to find Gabriella's pillow instead of Gabriella. This wasn't something I was unused to, but every time I woke up and she wasn't near me, my heart ached. I knew she was in with the twins. Even though she had postpartum depression, she was the best mother I knew, next to my mom of course. She dedicated everything to the twins, that's why I wanted to take her out tonight. She needed to think about herself for once and I was going to do everything I could to help her. Sitting up on the bed, I rubbed my face coarsely, trying to rub the sleep from my eyes and wake me up some more. Taking a deep breath, I stood up, pulling up my boxers a little more, adjusting them on my hips so they are straight and I'm not walking in them awkward. I walked out of the bedroom and across the hall. The door was open slightly the light shining out into the hall. I walked in, pushing the door open in front of me. Benny was in his bassinette fast asleep. Gabriella was holding Marie in her arms, feeding her and I couldn't help but smile at my girls. "Good morning, my beautiful ladies." She smiled up at me, but her smile didn't reach her eyes. Her smiles hadn't reached her eyes for weeks. She meant her smiles, but they didn't spread past her lips. "Morning," she whispered, rocking in the chair beside Marie's bassinette. I walked over, pressing my lips softly to Marie's chubby baby cheek. "Good morning, Angel," I smiled when she opened her eyes and looked at me, reaching for my face.
I ran my fingers softly over her forehead, brushing slightly against Gabriella's breast. "Good morning to you to, my wife," I whispered as she looked up at me, and I leaned forward to press my lips to hers gently. She didn't kiss back. She didn't turn her head away but she didn't kiss back. Her lips didn't move at all against mine. I pulled back, smiling, trying to hide my disappointment. It hurt me what she was going through, but I didn't want to make matters worse letting her know that it upset me. I didn't want her to know that she was hurting me with how she was feeling. I knew that she couldn't control any of it. Dr. Gillard and my mom had both explained to me about postpartum and I knew there wasn't anything I could do but wait. "Mom said she'd watch the niños while we're at your appointment, baby," I told her, tucking her hair behind her ear, smiling down at her. "Ok," was all she said. It was usually all she said when I told her anything. I crouched down so I was looking up at my girls, smiling more for each of them. "I'm taking you out tonight," I told her, deciding that maybe keeping it from her wasn't a good idea. I still wouldn't tell her where we were going. I'd leave that as the surprise. "Oh, Troy, I don't know-" she started, shaking her head, as I held my hand up, stopping her. "Baby, it's been six weeks since the baby was born. I think you need to get out of the house. Just the two of us. I've spoken to my mom and she said she'd take care of Benny and Marie for us. All we have to do is have fun." She closed her eyes, sighing heavily. "Ok," was all she said again. I kneeled up closer to her. "Baby, listen to me," I spoke softly as she opened her eyes and looked over at me. "You need to get out of the house. I'm taking you out tonight. You don't have to worry about anything but yourself tonight. I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure that you have fun. Trust me?" She sighed softly, lifting her hand to my face, cupping it gently. "Ok, Troy. We can go out tonight."
I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already was. I hated being this way. I didn't feel like smiling, I didn't feel like doing anything but taking care of my beautiful twins. And I had to do that perfectly! There was nothing I could do wrong. I had to be able to be the best mother to them, even if I felt like everything I was doing was wrong. I couldn't get Benny to calm down at night. He always needed Troy. Everyone could calm him down better than me. When he really started to cry, I couldn't do anything with him. I always started to panic and that made it worse for him, I'm sure. I wanted to be the perfect mother, but being the mother of twins was difficult. I really missed being pregnant. It was so much easier to take care of both of them then, even if I had been on bed rest for the last month of it. It was still easier than actual parenting is, even if they were only 6 weeks old. I wasn't regretting any of it though. I loved my babies. I loved Troy. Everything was perfect. Then why did I feel like this? I had no energy. I couldn't be really happy over anything. I couldn't do anything but merely exist. I knew nothing I was doing was good enough, and because of that, I knew I was overcompensating, which is probably why I was always exhausted. I didn't get enough sleep, not just because of the twins, but because even when I wasn't up taking care of them, I couldn't relax. Something in me told me they'd be up as soon as I fell asleep and it kept me up.
Troy leaned up, pressing his lips against mine again. I wanted so badly to kiss him back, to get lost in his kiss, but I didn't feel like I could. I was afraid to feel. I was to exhausted to feel. I wanted to so badly to stop feeling like this, but it just wouldn't go. "I'm so excited for tonight, baby!" he spoke softly, brushing his fingers over my hand gently. I looked down at his hand on mine as he let it rest there. I closed my eyes, smiling inwardly, loving his tender touch. Marie pulled her mouth from my breast, snuggling her little baby face against my breast. I opened my eyes and looked up at Troy, who was smiling down at our little girl. "Did you want to burp her?" He looked up at me, smiling and nodding one simple bounce of his head. "Yeah," he said as I slowly handed her over to him. He took her in his arms, standing up and resting her tiny body against his shoulder as I pulled my nightgown up to cover my breast, watching the two of them together. He was the most amazing father, better than any I'd ever known. He loved the twins and me more than anyone ever could. I loved him more than even I ever thought I could. I had loved him from the moment I met him, but what I felt for him now, especially since the twins were born and we were married, was so much more than I ever expected.
I loved Troy with everything in my heart and I didn't feel like I was good enough for him anymore, not like this. I wanted to be the girl he fell in love with. I wanted to be the girl he married, the one that gave birth to his children. But I couldn't find her. She was lost so deep inside of me, I wondered if I could ever find her again. I wanted her back. I knew Troy wanted me back, but he was being so patient with me. He tried to hide the way he was feeling from me, but I could see it in his eyes, I could hear it in his voice. The only place where it wasn't evident was in his touch. I could tell he was trying with everything he had to make me feel better, touching me more often than he used to, and that was a lot before. His touches were so kind an gentle. I loved them. I loved everything he did for me, and I just wanted to be what I used to be for him. I wanted to make him happy. "I'm going to go shower and get ready for the appointment," I told him standing up. I started to leave, but turned back to face him. "Thank you, Troy." I smiled up at him as brightly as I could, even though I knew it wasn't very much. "What for?" I walked closer to him, rubbing the back of Marie's head softly. "For being you. For how amazing you are." He smiled. "I'm only amazing because of you, baby," he whispered, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. Murmuring against my lips, he told me, "I love you, Gabriella." I pulled back, looking up at him, moving my hand from Marie's back to Troy's face, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I love you, too, Troy," I whispered before dropping my hand and walking out of the room.
I got ready and we left for my appointment after eating breakfast. Mom made waffles, but I didn't eat them like I used to. The idea of putting peanut butter and strawberries together on something made my stomach turn. You'd think that something like that would make me nauseated while I was pregnant, but no, I loved it then, it just makes me sick now. I put strawberries and whip cream on them alone. Troy held my hand as he drove us to the hospital to meet with Robespierre at is office. I sat, staring at his other hand on the steering wheel. We had gone down to the jewelry store and bought him a ring to match mine and a wedding band to go with mine. I loved being married to him more than anything in this world, I just wanted to be the wife he deserved. I hoped Robespierre could give me something or help me in some way so I could be that wife for Troy. I didn't want to hurt him anymore and I knew I was. He parked the truck and hopped out before turning to help me out. He kept me close to him, tucking my hair behind my ear, smiling down at me. "You look gorgeous today, baby." I had worn a simple lavender summer dress and I hadn't even done my hair. I had only brushed it and pulled it back into a ponytail. "Thank you, Troy," I said softly, looking down. He lifted my chin with his fingers under it. "Please don't turn away when I say things like that," he asked me, running his thumb over my lips. I felt a surge, an electrical current run through my body, stemmed from his finger on my lips. I hadn't felt sexual this hole time since I had given birth to the twins, which was good, I think since we weren't able to have sex anyway. But that could change tonight if Robespierre gave me a clean bill of health. I had almost been afraid of this day because of that reason. I hadn't been feeling the slightest urge to be sexual with Troy, and that upset me. I knew if Troy knew it, it would hurt him too. But his thumb brushing against my lip brought out something in me I thought I'd lost. But I couldn't think about it right now.
"We have to get upstairs, Troy." He dropped his hand, taking mine and led me inside. We checked in with the receptionist and sat in the waiting area. I crossed one leg over the other, tucking my hands between my knees, leaning my head back against the wall behind me. "Are you feeling ok, baby?" I looked over at him, my head still leaned back. "I'm alright, Troy," I smiled at him. I didn't want to say anymore. I didn't want to break down crying, just like did every time he asked me that question. I wanted to be happy for him more than anything. He lifted his hand to caress my cheek gently and I bit my lip, closing my eyes. "Gabriella Bolton?" I heard the nurse call my name and I looked over at her, thankful she was there to keep me from feeling this. I stood up and Troy was right beside me as we followed the nurse back to a room. "You've got a dress on, so just take off your panties and use this to cover yourself up," she told me, taking a blanket out of the drawer beneath the exam table. "The doctor will be with you shortly." I thanked her, turning away from Troy as she shut the door to pull off my panties. Swallowing hard, I turned to face him, handing my panties to him, biting my lip tightly as our hands brushed against each other's. I turned quickly, pulling my hand away from him, stepping back to hop up on the exam table. "Here," he said, taking a step closer to me, "lemme help you." I looked up at him as he placed his hands on my hips, lifting me up onto the table with ease. He stepped against me, looking down at my lips and then back into my eyes. I took a deep breath, biting at my lip more. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine. I closed my eyes, loving the feeling of his lips on mine. I slowly parted my lips just as I heard a knock on the door and it open. "Gabriella?" Dr. Robespierre said, walking into the room. Troy stepped away and I took in a shaky breath, turning to look at the doctor. "Well, you two are looking well today!" Dr. Robespierre said, shutting the door. I looked down at the blanket, unfolding it over my lap. "I think today is a good day," Troy said and I looked up at him.
Robespierre walked over, standing beside the two of us. "Dr. Gillard tells me that she thinks you might be experiencing a little postpartum depression." I looked down at my hands on my lap, nodding slightly. "It's ok, Gabriella. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Ten percent of new mothers experience some level of postpartum depression. However, most women, thirty to eighty percent only experience what we call 'baby blues.' These 'baby blues' will go away sometime in the first few months after the baby is born. My suggestion is, try to do something as a couple without the babies." He looked over at Troy. Take her out on the town. Make her feel like you did when you were dating." I looked down, biting my lip. We never actually dated, not really. We sort of actually just ended up together. I smiled softly to myself, thankful that we actually got together before I knew I was pregnant. I was glad I didn't have to doubt Troy's love for me. He told me he loved me before he knew I was pregnant. "We're actually going out tonight, doc," Troy told him and I looked back up at them. Dr. Robespierre clapped Troy on the back, nodding energetically. "Wonderful! Well, let's get you checked out so you can get going," he said turning back to face me.
Dr. Robespierre did, in fact, give me a clean bill of health, which in turn filled me with anxiety. He had even said, "Don't worry about having sex now. You're in perfect shape to resume all physical activities." What if I wasn't up to it emotionally? The sensations running through my body as I sat next on him on the ride home were making me want to jump him right there, but I couldn't. I couldn't even bring myself to kiss him. I was too afraid. I didn't know why I was afraid. Afraid I'd disappoint him? But I had never disappointed him before. Why would I start now? He was able to make love to me, at nine months pregnant, big stomach and all, but what if he didn't want me anymore after my water had broken on him the last time we had made love? I was doubting things between us and I knew I shouldn't. I knew Troy loved me, but I was so concerned and I couldn't shake it. I was going to do my best to have fun with him tonight though. I didn't know if I'd be able to do much, but I was going to try, no matter what it takes.
I pulled the truck up to the karaoke club. We'd have dinner and then we'd sing. I'd been planning it for a week. I didn't know what song we'd sing, but I was getting Gabriella up on that stage and we were singing together. We each ordered a burger and fries with Pepsi to drink. The service was fast, surprisingly, especially considering the place was busy. It was Friday and it was summer. Gabriella looked amazing. She was dressed in some tight pants that hugged her legs perfectly and a strapless, sleeveless shirt. Her breasts looked amazing peeking over the top of the shirt. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. We ate in mostly silence. I tried to find things to talk about. Robespierre had said we should talk about anything but the twins, but I knew that was all she was thinking about. She knew they were fine at home with my parents, but I knew she was still concerned. As soon as our meals were gone, the waitress took away our plates and made sure we had fresh sodas. A couple finished their rendition of 'I've Had The Time of My Life' from Dirty Dancing and everyone cheered for them. I smiled over at Gabriella as she clapped for them. It wasn't as lively as everyone else, but she was still clapping. The spotlight swirled across the room between the many different tables before settling on ours. Gabriella immediately stopped clapping and looked over at me, shaking her head. "No, Troy! NO! I can't!" I smiled, standing up and taking her hand, pulling her to stand. "Come on, baby. Doctor's orders." She frowned and I felt a pang at my chest. I hadn't wanted to upset her, but she needed to do this. I didn't know if it would help, but I hoped it would.
The EMCEE handed me the microphone after announcing the song and I let go of Gabriella's hand as she stood in front of the other mic. The EMCEE patted me on the back before leaving us to perform. The music started and I sighed heavily, looking over at Gabriella. She stood in front of the crowd, her arms crossed over her chest, completely withdrawn. I'd never seen her like this in front of an audience. She had lit up the East High Auditorium stage all by herself during the productions we performed this last year at school. I thought that she'd do the same thing here, but she wasn't even smiling. I put the microphone in the stand and stood closer to the mic to sing the male part on the screen. The screen indicated I had five seconds before I started to sing. I'd never heard this song in my life, but that hadn't stopped me during the musicals. I learned the songs from them all rather quickly. This shouldn't be too bad. It had been my idea anyway. The first word lit up and I started singing to the music. "Feel your breath… on my shoulder, and I know we couldn't get any closer. I don't wanna act tough, I just wanna fall in love as we mooooove…" I was about ready to give up. Gabriella wasn't even loosening up. The other screen was indicating that she was to start soon and she didn't even look like she was going to sing. I stepped away from the mic to tell the EMCEE that we weren't going to do this after all. And then I heard Gabriella's amazing voice through the speakers and from her beautiful lips behind me. "Into the night, I get crazy. Thinking how it's gonna be with you baby," I turned back to look at her, smiling at her. She was still standing with her arms wrapped around her chest, holding back, but she was singing. She was trying. All I could do was stand and stare at her while she sang. "I don't wanna play rough, I've been loving you enough. Oooo-oooooh, baby."
And then she smiled. The first smile I've seen to truly reach her eyes since we were at the hospital after the niños were born. She still had her arms wrapped around herself, but I could see my Gabriella in them and my soul was soaring. I could I turned back to the mic and sang with her as the words told us to sing together. "Wanna take Forever Tonight. Wanna stay in this moment forever." She turned to look at me, smiling directly at me, but when I smiled back, she turned her head away, blushing as she continued to sing with me. "I'm gonna give you all the love that I've got! Wanna take Forever Tonight." She stopped singing for me to sing a line, "Fill you up," and she followed with her own, "fill you uuuup," and I ended the line with, "with love." She smiled back at me, singing, "When we close the door," and I turned to face her more, singing, "all I need," and we both sang, "is in your eyes. Whoa-oh-oh-oh, I wanna take Forever Tonight!"
She was now smiling even more and I knew she was really getting into it. She was really feeling it. I took off my jacket, getting really warm, tossing it off st. It wasn't just because we were here and on stage, she was making me hot. She was making me want her. The way she was slowly getting back into her own skin made me want to be inside her more than I could ever remember being before. I wanted to go home and make love to her for hours. But we couldn't just leave now. She was still warming up, and I hoped by the end of the song she would be ready to leave, just as I was. She grabbed the mic still in it's stand, starting to move slowly to the music. I took my mic out of the stand, starting to dance with the music with her. "Touch my lips," I started before she sang with me, "ooooh, I'm on fire." I continued singing, "You're the only one I'll ever desire. Turn the lights down low. Make the world go slow when I'm hooooolding you," and Gabriella joined in with me on, "tonight. Ooooh, it's so easy." She was smiling bright as ever as she started singing directly to me, still holding onto the mic in the stand and dancing. "Nothing moves me like you do when you tease me. And to rush would be a crime. I just wanna spend some time with you baby." I took a deep breath, loving how she instantly lit up. It had taken her a moment once she started singing, but as soon as she did, it was like the Fourth of July. The chorus began and we both started singing with each other again, both of us dancing along. "Wanna take Forever Tonight. Wanna stay in this moment forever. I'm gonna give you all the love that I've got! Wanna take Forever Tonight." I put the mic back in the stand, dragging it over to her as I sang, "Fill you up," causing her to giggle and turn her head away slightly before singing in return, "fill you up," turning back to face me, singing along with me as I leaned over the mic, crooning up at her, "give you all my love tonight." I stood back up and she started the next line, pulling the mic from the stand, dancing more as she held onto the stand with her other hand, "When we close the door," and I continued, "all I need," and we both finished the line together, both of us dancing free of the microphone stands, "is in your eyes. Ooo-ooooh, I wanna take Forever …"
I held my hand out toward her, singing, "And when I'm here beside you, wanna see what drives you out of your mind." She sang with me for an, "Oh-oh, baby," before singing by herself, "I never wanna leave. I only wanna be with you, 'cause I love how you feel. You're love's so real." I danced toward her, wrapping my hand beneath hers that was now back on the microphone stand as we sang together, "Wanna take Forever Tonight." I took the stand, pulling it away from in between us, dancing closer to her as we sang, "wanna stay in this moment forever." She backed away, blushing uncontrollably, almost falling off the stage, but the people standing up at the end of the stage, dancing and clapping along with us while we sang, helped her keep on her feet, and I silently thanked God that she didn't fall. I stepped closer to, rubbing her back softly, singing with her, "I'm gonna give you all the love that I've got." She danced closer to me and I closed the distance a little more. Wanna take Forever Tonight." I sang as I ran my fingers through her hair. "Wanna stay in this moment forever." Gabriella sang over me with, "moment forever!" I continued singing, "I'm gonna," before Gabriella started singing again with me, "give you all the love that I've got, 'cause I can't live without you." I stepped closer to her, pulling her against me as she sang, "I can't live," and I repeated, "I can't live," and we both sang, "without you." She blushed up at me, not turning away, every bit of Gabriella that I knew and love was shining back at me through her dark chocolate brown eyes. We ended the song with the last line together, "Wanna take Forever Tonight."
I kicked the door shut behind us when we entered the back door of the house. We hadn't been able to keep our hands off each other on the way home. It was really making it difficult to drive. I had my arm wrapped around her as she was practically sitting on my lap, one leg draped over my lap, nestling up against my stiff cock in my pants. She kept kissing my neck and the side of my face and head and down my chest the entire time. I wasn't about to tell her to stop. The club was only five minutes away, so I drove as quickly, but as carefully, despite the insatiable vixen all but riding my cock beside me. Occasionally, her hand would move down from my chest or neck to rub my cock through my pants. "I need you, baby," I groaned, pulling her with me as I backed across the room to the stairs. "Shhh," she whispered against my lips, "don't wanna wake up the niños." I nodded, wrapping my arms around her waist as I spun her around and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I lifted her against me, her feet off the floor, to walk with her up the stairs. I walked with her into the bedroom, shutting the door with one hand behind us. I pushed her up against the door, hearing a low growl from her throat as I deeply kissed her succulent lips. She wrapped her arms more around my neck, pulling herself up more against me and wrapping her legs around my waist. I intensified the kiss, gripping her ass in both of my hands as I turned away from the wall and walked quickly over to the bed, coming down hard on top of her, both of us groaning out. "I love you, wife," I whispered, spreading kisses down her neck as I started to pull her pants from her. I could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke softly back in the darkness, "I love you, husband." This was the first time we would be making love as a married couple, and it was so perfect. I dropped her pants off the side of the bed, pushing her shirt up off of her stomach as I leaned down to kiss her once again flat stomach. It was almost back to the way it had been when we first got together. I slid my hand down it, coming to rest on her pussy through her panties. She lifted her hips to my hand, moaning softly, "Please, Troy." I pulled her panties off, leaning down more to lick her clit gently. God, she tasted amazing. I slid one finger inside of her. Her hot juices soaked my finger, causing my cock to lurch harder against my pants. "God, baby, I need you!" I groaned into her pussy, sucking at her clit. "Take me, Troy, please! Don't tease me! I need to feel you inside of me!"
With that, I took her at her word, lifting her shirt up over her head and staring down at her in the little moonlight coming through the balcony doors as I stood up, starting to unbutton my shirt. "Oh, my God! You are stunning, baby," I growled lowly down at her, tossing my shirt to the floor and pulling at my belt, wanting to be as naked with her to be one with her as soon as possible. Finally, getting the belt off, I undid my pants, sliding them down along with my boxers, before wrapping my arm around her waist, pulling her against me and pulling her up to the top of the bed, laying her down after pulling down the covers. She pulled me down to lay with her, pulling me on top of her and wrapping her legs around my waist. "Make love to me, Troy," she asked of me again. I nodded down to her, brushing my fingers across the side of her breast, speaking lowly, "I will baby. From tonight into eternity." She smiled, pulling me down to kiss her as I slowly slid inside of her, finally back home after so long. Everything was no right with the world again. I had my wife in my arms, my children across the hall, and the perfect life. I never thought I would have everything in the world all from one moment of unprotected sex in a pool. It was all so perfect and all so Unexpected.