IMPORTANT UPDATE!

Please click the video link on my profile or search Youtube for the video entitled 'Fanfiction Update #1 – Forbidden' on the channel courtneyhelen1990. I would put the link here but last time I tried to put links in a chapter it didn't work. It's just me letting you know what's going on with this fic and my writing in general. I don't know why I did the update as a video, I just felt like it haha.

Disclaimer: I do not own Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

I was walking down one of the Institute's many hallways when I heard it: the horrible sound of wet, wrenching coughs. Immediately, I started sprinting down the hall. I skidded to a stop outside Jem's bedroom door and fell to the ground, jarring my knee painfully against the hardwood floor.

'Fuck!'

Ignoring the tears that sprang to my eyes, I pushed the door open awkwardly with one hand. Struggling to get to my feet, I half staggered into the room.

Jem was in the middle of his bed, on his hands and knees. He was still coughing uncontrollably. Jem's hands, and the white bed sheet, were covered with splattered and smeared blood. His arms were shaking with the effort of holding himself up.

I ran across the room, the pain in my knee forgotten, and clambered onto the bed. Kneeling beside Jem, I put my arms around him, supporting his weight.

As I hugged him close, I murmured in his ear 'its okay, its okay.' The same words, over and over, until it became a litany, almost meaningless. I sounded clam, but inside, I was falling apart. Every time this happened, I was terrified. I was just so scared. Sick with despair that one of these times, Jem wouldn't recover. One of these times, he would die.

Slowly, Jem's coughing subsided. Relief flooded through me, and without warning, a choking sob escaped my lips. I hadn't even realised I was crying, the tears running silently down my cheeks. Jem sat up a little straighter and turned to look at me. His lips, stained with blood, looked shockingly red against his pale skin.

'Will, it's alright. I – I'm okay now.'

I struggled to pull myself together. I was supposed to be the one comforting him, for God's sake, not the other way around.

'Sorry.' My voice cracked. Annoyed with myself, I brushed my tears away and pulled out my folded handkerchief. I shook it out and shifted my position so I could cradle Jem's head in my lap. His eyes were closed as I gently wiped the blood from his lips and chin. Just as I finished unbuttoning his blood stained shirt, his eyes blinked open. Gingerly, Jem propped himself up onto his elbows and grinned sheepishly at me.

'I'll admit, I'm enjoying all the attention.' He blushed, and I was relieved to see the colour flood into his stark white cheeks.

'Well, make yourself useful and get off the damn bed!' I said playfully. I was sure that Jem would see through my fake smile at once. I was a mess. Painful images, products of my own imagination, flickered through my mind one after the other: Jem was lying dead in a pool of blood, faceless men were carrying a coffin, Jem was dying as a demon overcame him, I was kneeling at Jem's grave, I was kissing Jem-

I pinched my thigh, hard. Furious with myself, I quickly stripped the sheets off the bed, yanking hard at the material. I watched Jem wash his hands and splash water on his face using the jug and basin in the corner of the room. He rinsed his mouth, refilled the glass, and walked back across the room just as I balled up the dirty sheets and threw them in the corner. I crossed to the dresser, and was just stretching out a hand to open the top drawer when I felt Jem's hand close over mine.

'I'll get it.' He said quietly. Our hands parted, and I stepped back and took a deep breath. I tried to force myself not to think about what his touch had just done to me. Yet I couldn't help watching him as he carefully measured out the drug and stirred it into his glass of water. He'd discarded his shirt...

Stop it, I told myself. I wrenched my eyes away from Jem's toned body and decided I'd remake the bed. The problem was, this task only kept my hands busy, not my mind.

'Will?' Jem's voice cut through my illicit imaginings. I looked up. He was leaning against the dresser, still shirtless, sipping his drink. His silver-gray eyes found mine.

'D'you-' Jem broke off, staring down into his glass. His silvery blonde hair obscured his expression. 'D'you want to stay with me tonight?'

'Of course.' I often sat in the armchair next to Jem's bed when he was ill. Usually, I fell asleep there.

'I mean...' a pause. 'I know you always get a sore neck when you fall asleep in that chair, so you could always sleep in the bed if you like, there's plenty of room.' Jem said this all very fast, as if he was afraid he'd lose his nerve if he paused to draw breath.

I paused in the motion of tugging on a fresh pillowcase. My brain was telling me this wasn't a good idea, while my heart was leaping for joy.

'Forget it,' said Jem hastily. 'It's not like we're five years old or anything. It was a dumb idea.'

I held up a hand to stop him and smiled. 'No, it's a good idea.'

Review and tell me what you think! This will be a short fic, only about one or more two chapters I think.

Music I listened to while writing this: Justin Bieber