Hey sorry if you have read this already. I uploaded it a day ago and changed everything and like rating, pairings etc and I couldn't change it back so I deleted it and am now reposting. Hopefully it has all been sorted. Anyone else had this problem?
Sorry for this : (
Authors note: Hi guys. Apologies if you have read this story before I put it up a while ago then removed all my stories. I went away to America, got over myself, had a blast and am now back hopefully better then ever. So I am resubmitting some of my old stories hopefully with some improvements.
If you like this story or dislike it please feel free to let me know, feedback is always greatly appreciated but do not feel like you have to. Reviewing should always be a choice : )
(This was entered into the fun with your clothes on contest)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, it is solely my imagination and I am not making any money from it.
Summary: Bella and Jasper have been best friends forever. But lately their feelings for each other have started to change and have become more then friendly. When their partners are out of town, and they are alone, will they be able to resist each other.
Big thanks to jussjeni06, Team Emmett beta, and Team project beta for all their help!
I know it's wrong, and I am well aware of the fact that I should not be doing it.
But I can't help it.
I watch her as she dances about a crowded room, as if she is the only one there, her hips swaying hypnotically to the thumping club music. She is, without question, the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.
This night in particular she is sporting an overly tight pair of skinny jeans and a black tank top, that has the annoying habit of clinging to her breasts and rising above her belt line, whenever she chooses to swing her arms about over her head.
The beauty of her bare stomach stuns me, about as much as it does every other red blooded man gawking at her. It's a shame I must lump myself in with their lot.
Her long mahogany hair is down and resting just past her shoulders, swaying in the same motions as she. God, how I love her hair; how I want to run my fingers through it and grip it as I make love to her- but I can't.
Her look is finished off with a set of long necklaces and the highest, sexiest, 'fuck me' heels I have ever seen. Her wide brown eyes are watching me, teasing me, and I don't know how much more I can take.
Bella and I have been best friends since we were four and five, her being the elder by two months and never letting me forget it. We were sat together on our first day of school and nearly every year since then.
I sometimes find it hard to believe that even now, in our final year at University, we're still the best of friends.
We have been inseparable ever since we met. It was always Jasper and Bella together and it always felt right. Of course, as we got older, things changed.
Bella grew from a child into a young woman and it did not go unnoticed by me or any of our mutual friends. She gained bumps and valleys in all the right places, and I realized that I liked the way she looked, but I did nothing.
Every day I was increasingly more attracted to her, but I never said a word.
Our promise to be 'best friends forever' meant to me that she and I as anything else just wouldn't work. Our friendship was worth far too much for me to risk it. I've assured myself after all these years that friend Bella was better than no Bella at all.
Recently, though, things seem to be changing slightly. It isn't obvious, but it was there in the little touches we bestow upon each other, the lingering looks we send when no one else is watching. And the tension that hangs in the air whenever we are near to each other.
After 15 years of friendship, I realize that I want Bella Swan more than anything I have ever wanted in my life.
But she isn't mine to have, and she can't have me either.
About two years ago my Bella met Edward at a frat party. I wasn't there. That particular night I had decided to stay in and catch up with my studying and to this day I wish that I had gone, because my Bella and her Edward have been together ever since.
From that moment forward, my Bella was no more.
Don't get me wrong, I really like Edward. In fact, he is one of my closest friends. I just wish he wasn't dating Bella. I know it's ridiculous and possessive to think this, but I don't want anyone else to have her, even if I can never have her myself.
Selfish, I know, but I can't help it. I resent Edward for being with her, for being at that party when I was not.
To this day I am jealous when he touches her and she giggles in his embrace, when he kisses her and she moans against his lips. I've tried getting over it, but some days are just more difficult than others.
I take pride in the fact that I am still the one she comes to when things get tough or if she's upset. It baffles me how she always runs to me when they fight but when she and I fight…well, she runs to me then,too.
I know that Edward doesn't like this, but he gets to kiss her and make love to her and I…yeah, I get to comfort her. It's not ideal for either of us but you take what you can get, right?
About a month into their relationship, I met Edward's sister Alice.
Then things really did change. Meeting Alice was akin to being hit by a train, a good train, but a train all the same. What I mean to say is that it happened very suddenly; I wasn't expecting it and it hit hard.
She quickly became that very important someone in my life. We were blissfully happy with each other. She was everything I could ever want, is everything I could ever want...
Yet as I sit here in this loud and obnoxious club, I wonder when exactly that ceased to be enough.
My feelings for Bella had been banished and she went back to being the best friend I could ever want; yet slowly, but surely, she has crept back into my subconscious and I find myself deliriously longing for her again.
And Bella has made it clear that she is feeling exactly what I am.
We're standing on the edge of a knife. On one side we carry on as we are with the people we love and completely lock away these feelings we have.
On the other we explore these urges to see where they take us. They could lead us to the end of our friendship or to somewhere amazing, but wherever we end up, we will hurt Alice and Edward in the process.
I don't want to hurt anyone, but I have never felt a need, a pull, like this.
Bella is not just beautiful. She's smart, and funny, and caring too. We like the same things and share the same humour. I know without a doubt that I am and have always been in love with her. The problem is that I'm in love with Alice too.
Christ, when had I become that man?
And furthermore, why the hell does she tempt me so much? When she called me up earlier today and asked if I wanted to go out drinking with her I knew I should have said no, but saying no to Bella is a difficult task. At times it's down right, impossible.
Both Edward and Alice are away for the week with their family, leaving me and Bella to our own devices. I was so terrified at what might happen that I made my sister Rosalie and her boyfriend, Emmett, join us at the club.
And at this point in the night Rosalie is staring daggers at me.
"Jasper Hale, I know what you're thinking and it needs to stop," she says harshly.
There is even a little stomp of the foot along with some finger wagging and I can't stop thinking about how much she looks like our mother. She'd hate it if I were to ever point that out.
Rosalie's more like Mom than she knows and thanks to that motherly instinct of hers, she's always known about my Bella Swan infatuation.
Her job tonight is to stop my stupid urges, but her comment does nothing but get on my nerves. I'm really not in the mood to listen to her shit. I'll blame the whiskey tomorrow.
"You have no idea what I'm thinking, Rosalie" I spit back before turning back to the dance floor just in time to see Bella coming towards me. Yeah, they both know exactly what I'm thinking.
She's slightly out of breath from her dancing, but smiling widely. I can't help but love the flushed look on her face, the heat in her cheeks mixed with the light sheen of sweat. She reaches for my hand and tugs lightly.
"Come and dance with me, Jazz," she says.
I try to pull my hand back; I know that dancing with Bella will no doubt turn out to be a really bad idea.
"I don't know, Bella" She pouts lightly.
"Please…you always dance with me."
I sigh and stand to follow her out on to the dance floor. Like I said, it is impossible to say no to her.
No one stops us, not even Rosalie, but I can feel the eyes of at least a dozen jealous men boring into my backside. If they only knew the one little fact I have been repeating to myself every step of the way. She'll never be mine.
Some awful trance music is playing, and I know that she isn't normally into this type of music, but she'll dance to anything.
She dances around me as I nervously bop to the music, Hitch style. One bop to the left, one to the right, then repeat.
Normally I would take hold of her and begin to really dance, but tonight I just can't handle the thought of her body against mine.
She looks at me and laughs.
"Jasper, what are you doing?" Her voice is so sweet and endearing that I want to tell her nothing and pull her flush against me, but we know where that will lead.
She looks so amazing standing in front of me laughing at my silly dancing, and I just can't take it any more. I need to get away from her.
"Look, I am going to go; I'll see you around, okay?" It's a question, but I can't bring myself to stick around for the answer. I walk away from her before she can reply, but her tear filled eyes say it all. Walking away kills me, but I can't stay.
It breaks my heart knowing I have upset her. I have never walked away from her before, but it's for the best, for the both of us. One more minute with her and it would all be over and I would do something I really shouldn't do. I would do something I've wanted to do for too long and we would both regret it.
I head back to my apartment and slam my ass hard onto my not so cushy couch thinking 'How did I get to this point?'.
I can only think of one way to settle this once and for all, I have to pick. But which one do I choose? There was no way around it, I have to choose Alice. She's the sensible decision, I love her and she's my…well, my everything. That has to be enough.
There's still that nagging feeling deep down in my soul that it's not enough: it never has been. I'm not even sure that I love her like I love Bella; then again I'm not sure that what I feel for Bella isn't just pure lust. I have always felt the need to claim what isn't mine.
I rest my head in my hands and sigh heavily, trying to think things through. When did things get so damn confusing?
I'm pulled out of my useless thoughts by a knock on my door. I get up hesitantly as I have a feeling I already know who's behind it.
It could only be Rosalie or Bella at this hour and while the first is what I need, it is the latter my heart aches for.
I swing the door open and come face to face with an extremely worried looking Bella.
"Hey, so I thought since you clearly didn't want to go out tonight maybe we could stay in. I brought movies and food," she says, gesturing to the large bag that hangs off her shoulder. It's slipping slightly and while I want to grab it, I know I'll only end up grabbing her.
I sigh, and resist the urge to do either.
"Bella I am not sure this is a good idea." My fingers run nervously through my hair as I try to be honest with her without coming out and saying the words. It's a coward's way out, but so many things I've done tonight have been.
She nods and looks away from me slightly, down the corridor that would lead her away from me. Then she turns back, a new look of determination has taken over her features.
"I know that this is hard, and I am as confused as you are, trust me, but despite all that you're still my best friend, and I can't lose you. Please, Jazz, please stop pushing me away."
Like I've said before, she's impossible to say no to.
I open the door and she smiles with relief, then enters.
She's right, this isn't ideal and I have no idea what is going to happen from here, but of one thing I'm sure; I can't lose her.
I close the door and walk back into the living room, taking a seat on the far end of the couch, hoping Bella will take the chair while wishing more that she might occupy my lap.
I can see her preparing popcorn in the kitchen so I use the spare minutes to adjust my shorts. There's no sense in giving her ideas.
Moments later she's back with a bowl that she tosses carelessly on the cushion next to me. A few pieces fly out but it's not the end of the world. I don't even like this couch. I ignore the popcorn and turn my attention to the angelic form now bending over to put the DVD in.
She could have knelt or squatted, but she chose to bend over in those too tight skinnies she'd painted on earlier tonight and was now standing the chance of flashing me the hem line of her panties.
Were I a lesser man I could lift my neck slightly and see them for myself.
Who am I kidding?
They're a dark shade of blue with black lace. I adjust again.
"What are we watching?" I ask, trying to break the nervous tension that hangs in the air.
"Predator." I smile.
She turns the light off and comes to sit next to me with the bowl as our divider. I've never held such anger for any inanimate object.
"You hate this movie, it scares you," I say without looking over at her.
"I know." She pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth and I hear it crunch. "But it's your favourite," I nod. I don't want to argue with her.
The movie starts and I'm a little bit anxious. Normally, when watching this, Bella is cuddled up into my side, using me as a human shield. I know better than to think I can handle that tonight.
Thankfully, she keeps her distance, knowing as well as I do that contact is not a good idea.
She's jumping every couple of minutes and I want to do nothing but comfort her, to take her into my arms and shield her until the movie ends.
We must look ridiculous sitting here on opposite sides of the sofa, both ridged with tension. I'm fighting not to touch her, but dying to do just that, and she's fighting to save our friendship.
We'd be better off if my intentions were only half as noble.
Suddenly Bella jumps worse then she has the rest of the night and the popcorn flies to the floor.
"Fuck!" she mutters angrily.
She kneels down on the floor and starts scooping it all back into the bowl.
"I'm sorry," she says, obviously frustrated, and I have a feeling it isn't the popcorn that's causing it.
She's frantically trying to tidy up her mess when I notice the tears crawling down her face. I kneel down on the floor with her and lightly grab her wrists, knowing this is still my fault.
"Bella, please stop," I say desperately.
She pulls herself away from me and continues with what she was doing before.
"I can't, I have to clean this up. Jesus, what is wrong with me? I am so fucking clumsy." They're angry tears now but I grab her wrists again and still her movements.
"I think we both know that this has nothing to do with popcorn, Bella," I whisper softly.
Her head hangs low, she's refusing to meet my eyes. She's no longer scratching at the floor either.
My actions have put our bodies a little too close together for my liking, but there is nothing that can be done now.
She looks broken, lost. This has been hard on her too, and she's struggling just the same as I am. All I want is to comfort her, to hold her. Like I said before, it's my job to look after her when she is upset.
"Bella, look at me," I order. My voice seems foreign to me. It's shaking and full of need.
She shakes her head and I know I should just let it be. If our eyes don't meet we stand the chance of walking away from this night with only thoughts of what could have been.
"I can't, Jasper, I can't look at you." She's right, but I don't care. I just can't stop myself.
"Please, Bella, I need you to look at me" I need to see into her eyes and tell her that everything is going to be okay. That's my job.
She slowly raises her head and our eyes connect. There, that's not so bad. I softly wipe the tears from her face and she leans into my touch, looking at me adoringly before her eyes close and her breathing turns ragged.
"I need to go, I can't stay here," she says as she opens her eyes. She reaches a hand up and softly strokes the side of my face, while mine never moves from her cheek.
"Please, don't go…please," I beg her.
"This is horrible. All I want to do is touch you. I want to kiss you so much but," she sobs, "but I can't, I can't kiss you."
The way it comes out is more of a question than a statement and I know the right answer.
Both of us are almost gasping for air and I know I'm about to cross a line that shouldn't be crossed. I know I should be agreeing with her and leading her to the door: that was the right answer. I know I should be thinking about Alice and Edward, yet I'm not.
I crush my lips to hers. She instantly groans and moves her hands to my blonde curls as she grips harder to me wanting to feel me closer. I force her lips to part and my tongue plunders her mouth.
She moans as our lips move over each others. She tastes so sweet, better than anything I have experienced and I never want it to stop. I never again want to know what my arms feel like without Bella in them.
They felt so empty before, but this feels right.
My hands move to her waist and she instantly shuffles forward onto my lap, straddling me.
While we are kissing frantically, her hands move under my t-shirt tracing every muscle making me tense and groan into her mouth. My body isn't like Edward's. He's tall and built where I'm more lean, less toned than usual thanks to Alice's inability to cook and the way we're always forced to eat out.
With all this in mind I should feel self conscious; I would with any other woman. But with Bella I don't.
Her hands are like fire on my skin; she tugs and pulls on my shirt until it's over my head and on the floor. Our kiss is broken for a split second, but quickly our lips reattach themselves to each other.
My hands, of their own accord, move up to cup her perfect breasts. The moan that escapes her now is the most beautiful she has given tonight. It's powerful and passionate, a truly uninhibited noise that I take solace in knowing I've caused.
I growl as my dick hardens in my pants. "Fuck, Bella, I want you." I'm so articulate. "I want you so much. You have no idea what you do to me; how long I have waited to kiss you," I murmur as I thrust my hips up into hers again.
I know I'm hitting her where she needs me most, but she stills wants more. She cries out in pleasure then starts grinding up and down on my lap, grinding against me harder every time.
It feels amazing knowing that it is her doing this to me and that I am doing this to her.
"I know Jazz, I want you too. I want to taste you, want you inside me. I have wanted you since I was seventeen." Her words have sent me into a frenzy; my lips claim hers again and my hand moves down between her legs to rub against the sturdy denim as hard as I can to make sure she feels it.
Her head falls back and she lets out a long guttural moan.
"Fuck, Jazz, that feels so good. Please don't stop," she whimpers as her hand moves to my lap, she starts rubbing me furiously through my khaki's.
It's good; it really is, but not the most amazing feeling in the world. I'd much rather feel her hand on me even if it's still just a dry hand job.
I cry out without ever making the decision to. Apparently she's doing a better job than I give her credit for. We continue writhing, stroking, and kissing.
All I want is to lay her down, rip her pants off, and bury myself deep inside her, but I know I can't. I'm not sure what's stopping me really; it's not as if Alice will be any more okay with this knowing we didn't have sex.
I'm doing it mostly for me and my own piece of mind. There has to be some point of resistance even in my moment of control lost.
I am not, despite appearances, a bad man. I know that this is cheating, that kissing and touching is a betrayal, but I won't commit the greatest crime. I still need this and so does she, the beautiful creature coming undone against my body. I want to see her come undone and know that it was I that did it.
She's crying out into my mouth, meeting my hand stroke for stroke, her chest rising and falling.
With her pants sounding higher and higher in pitch I know she's close. I pull her harder against me, bringing her chest level with my face. I yank down one strap of her tank top and bra before I've even given it any thought and I hear fabric ripping in the process. I don't care; I need a taste of her sweet flesh, just one.
I nose down her top and bra until her breast is exposed to me. Her hard nipple is brushing against my nose as she continues to writhe on my lap.
My hand brings her closer and closer to where we both need her to be. Her hand rubs against me harder and I gasp, my body tensing in the process. I'm close to an orgasm myself; my hips force my hardness tighter against her hand.
My body is acting on its own, seeking out what it so desperately needed. The whole situation makes me feel like a teenager again, like Bella and I are finally finding out what we should have known then.
I go back to the task before me and let my tongue lightly flick her pink nipple. She makes a strangled moan and her spare hand flows to my shoulder holding on for dear life. Her nails dig into my flesh and while I wonder how I'll explain it to Alice I can't help but enjoy the feeling of it.
I take her nipple into my mouth and bite it before letting my tongue swirl around her flesh tasting the sweetness that is Bella. Nothing could ever compare to her.
My actions throw her over the edge. She screams my name and digs her fingers further into the skin of my shoulder.
Hearing her scream with the pleasure I give her is all that is necessary to send me tumbling after. My whole body tenses as I'm taken over by an orgasm unlike any I have experienced before. It's near unbearable, like it might actually do damage to my body while it causes me to shake all over.
Her body collapses into mine and I am no longer able to support my own weight, let alone hers. I slide down onto my carpet bringing her down on top of me.
Neither of us dares to move. Both of us struggle to breathe.
I am pretty sure neither of us has felt anything quite like this before.
I close my eyes, trying to ignore the nagging voice in my head that is questioning what I have just done, what we've just done. It's refusing to allow me to bask in that glorious post orgasm feeling.
When I next open my eyes I'm surprised to find that it's light. I sit up groggily, noticing that my pants are really uncomfortable.
They aren't the same squishy mess I should have handled last night but they are quite crusty and disgusting.
The entire mess is forgotten when I see my Bella.
She's leaned against the sofa; one arm is hugging her knees while the other's gripping my hand, something that I haven't noticed before. She looks miserable and clearly upset, just staring off into space.
For a while I wonder why but then it hits me: the guilt.
Oh, what have I done? What have we done?
Is it even fair to say 'we'? I destroyed everything, my relationship with Alice and my friendship with Bella. She had wanted to leave and I asked her to stay. I kissed her first and I'm to blame for the desecration of her personal relationships as well.
Yesterday I had a great girlfriend and two of the greatest friends I could ever ask for. Now, potentially, I have lost it all.
I force myself off the floor to take my place at her side and lean over to her. "God, Bella, I am so sorry."
She surprises me by pressing her lips softly to mine and all too soon she pulls away holding my hand between both of hers.
"Don't be sorry, Jasper, I'm not. Well, I am sorry it happened this way, but I am not sorry it happened. It was amazing"
I smile and lean my head to lie on her shoulder.
"It was, wasn't it?"
She doesn't reply and for a while, we just sit in silence.
"Jasper, you know I'm in love with you, right?" she murmurs softly.
"Yeah, and you know I'm in love with you too?" I reply without adding the 'and Alice' part. Bella nods.
"I'm in love with Edward as well," she whispers, braver than I.
Although the admission was expected, it still hurts. A part of me was so ecstatic that she said she loved me that I momentarily forgot about the other person in her life, that is now involved in this mess.
Besides, how could I criticize her when I wasn't brave enough to admit the same?
"I feel the same about Alice." It's forced. I don't want to think about Alice, that part hurts too.
We sit in silence, both thinking. The only thing I can think to do is decide which one I loved the most, but that doesn't seem fair to either of them.
How am I supposed to choose? For the first time in my life I am completely unsure what I should do. I feel lost and it's terrifying.
"What are we going to do?" Bella asks. The casual way she uses the word 'we' assures me that we're in this together. It's all the assurance I need to take her lips between mine in a chaste kiss shared between…friends.
I rest my forehead against hers and our eyes close. Our fingers our laced and our bodies sit side by side for a moment in time. "Honestly, I don't know."
Thank you for reading!
And if I was Bella I know who I would chose : )