OZ WARS

Character Mix's:

Luke - Dorothy

Obi One Kenobi - Glenda

R2 D2 - Toto

C 3P0 - The Tin Man

Chewbacca - The Cowardly Lion

Han Solo - The Scarecrow

Yoda - The Wizard of Oz

Leah - Leah

Rebels - The Munchkins

The Empire - Witches servants(Flying monkeys…)

Aunt Buru - Auntie Em

Darth Vader - Wicked Witch of the West

The Emperor - Wicked Witch of the East


INT. A PIRATED IMPERIAL SHIP - N/A

Munchkins hold their guns ready towards the entrance. Flying monkeys barge in holding guns. A fight begins. The munchkins get out numbered. A few munchkins hold their hands up to surrender. Flying monkeys grab them.

HEAD MONKEY

Where are the ruby slippers?

HEAD MUNCHKIN

Just follow the blue brick road.

HEAD MONKEY

There is no blue brick road!

MUNCHKIN1

It was worth a try boss.

Darth Vader enters wearing a skirt and witch hat.

DARTH VADER

Search for stray munchkins, and find those slippers!

Some flying monkeys exit. Some flying monkeys search around.

MONKEY1

Sir I found some blue brick road dust!

The HEAD MONKEY shoots MONKEY1. Some flying monkeys enter the stage holding PRINCESS LEAH.

DARTH VADER

Where are the slippers?

LEAH

The republic will be angry when they hear you attacked an imperial ship!

DARTH VADER

The empire didn't hire munchkins!

MUNCHKIN1

They hired my grandma!

MONKEY2 shoots MUNCHKIN1.

DARTH VADER

Take her to the castle.

Some flying monkeys exit with Leah. MONKEY3 enters.

MONKEY3

A rebel ship has landed in Kansas!

DARTH VADER

Search Kansas, and get those slippers!

MONKEY2 notices some blue dust.

MONKEY2

Ooo! Ooo! Some blue road dust!

Head Monkey shoots Monkey2.


EXT. KANSAS IN FRONT OF LUKE'S HOUSE - DAY

LUKE is petting R2D2. AUNTIE EM is sitting in a chair. Miss Gulch enters looking cross.

MS. GULCH

That droid, zapped my cat this morning! I will pay you fifteen hundred if you melt it down.

R2D2 Beeps with fear.

LUKE

Oh! Auntie Em! Don't let her take R2D2 away!

AUNTIE EM

Luke. Fifteen hundred is worth six months of farm work!

LUKE

But Auntie Em! She'll melt him down!

MS. GULCH

It down!

AUNTIE EM

Miss Gulch. I'm sure the zap was a malfunction.

MS. GULCH

I'm in charge around here! Now Emily, if you want money, I suggest you cooperate!

LUKE

You have a big nose Gulch!

Miss Gulch gets angry.

AUNTIE EM

Luke!

Auntie Em scolds Luke. She then addresses Ms. Gulch.

AUNTIE EM

Miss Gulch. I don't want to cause more trouble so I'll make the trade.

LUKE

No! You know I have no self esteem! R2D2 Is the only friend I have!

Luke abruptly exits.

MS. GULCH

Where is he going?

AUNTIE EM

To play munchkins verses monkeys.


EXT. KANSAS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE - DAY

Luke stands with R2D2

LUKE

R2D2, we're running away to Oz. We'll find a way to get rid of Gulch there.

R2D2 beeps with panic.

LUKE

What? A tornado! R2, we've got to find shelter fast!

Luke and R2 jump inside a cardboard box.


EXT. MUNCHKIN LAND - DAY

Luke gets out of the box looking disoriented.

LUKE

That was awesome!

The munchkins point guns at them.

LUKE

Um... hi?

MUNCHKIN MAYOR

You were supposed to destroy her! But you only had a card board box! She got away!

LUKE

Who?

MUNCHKIN MAYOR

The Wicked Witch of the East!

LUKE

Cardboard was all I found though!

Obi One Kenobi enters dressed like Glenda.

OBI ONE KENOBI

I'm Obi One Kenobi. The good witch of the north.

LUKE

Obi One can you please get me out of this? I just wanted to come to Oz and find a way to kill Gulch!

OBI ONE KENOBI

Just follow the Yellow brick road.

Luke looks up at the sky where a massive yellow brick road is.

LUKE

You mean that one all the way up there? Are you sure it's not the blue brick road over there?

OBI ONE KENOBI

That's only 2 feet long! You need to find the wizard of Oz in the emerald city. It's only a 55 billion mile walk.

LUKE

55 billion?

OBI ONE KENOBI

Just go! Oh and take these.

Munchkins put ruby slippers on Luke.

LUKE

What do you take me for?

Luke tries to take them off without success.

LUKE

Jerks!

Luke exits looking determined.


EXT. ON THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD - DAY

Luke and R2D2 walk up to The SCARE CROW/HAN SOLO

LUKE

Hey you there! Wanna come to the emerald city with me?

Han doesn't answer.

LUKE

Hello?

HAN

Can't you see that I'm a Scare crow? I can't talk! I have no brain!

LUKE

Oh right! Bye.

Luke starts leaving. Han follows.

HAN

I'll follow, maybe the wizard will give me a brain.


EXT. FURTHER ALONG THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD - DAY

Luke and Han are exhausted.

LUKE

One billion... Just a lot more to go...

HAN

Listen…

TIN MAN

Help!

LUKE

Some one's in danger!

They find The TIN MAN/C3P0. He's frozen in place.

HAN

He needs to be oiled!

Luke takes a bottle out of R2 and sprays The Tin Man way, way more than necessary.

LUKE

Ok. Bye.

TIN MAN

Wait! Where are you going?

LUKE

The Wizard.

TIN MAN

But that's approximately 54 billion miles away!

Luke and Han exit.

TIN MAN

Hey! Wait for me!

The Tin Man rushes after them.


EXT. FOREST - DAY

Chewbacca enters and grabs R2. Luke turns around and slaps Chewbacca on the face. Chewbacca cries.

TIN MAN

What a coward.

The Tin Man spots a spider on his foot.

TIN MAN

Ahh! A spider!

The tin man is acting like a maniac trying to get the spider off. Luke walks up to Chewbacca and takes back R2.

HAN

Hey Chewy!

LUKE

You know him?

Han and Chewy slap each other on the backs.

HAN

Were old pals. Hey chewy we're going to the emerald city, wanna come?

Chewy makes happy noises. Chewy/Luke/Han exit. The Tin Man finally gets the spider off and runs after them.


EXT. MEADOW OF POPPIES - DAY

Scary music is playing.

LUKE

Stand back! There's evil here.

HAN

How do you know?

LUKE

The music.

Darth Vader enters.

LUKE

You're my favorite action figure! Can I have an autograph?

DARTH VADER

Make it quick I need to take you to the castle.

LUKE

Okay!

Luke brings Darth Vader a piece of Vader signs it and hands it back to Luke.

Luke and Darth Vader light saber duel until Luke has to yield. There is a very long silence.

LUKE

Um Gorge… Say you're line.

DARTH VADER

Right!

Darth Vader clears throat.

DARTH VADER

Luke I am you mother!

LUKE

No! Wait… You're a girl?

DARTH VADER

DUH!

A stampede of munchkins attack Darth Vader who runs and exits.

HAN

Luke, you've got one ugly mother.

LUKE

Yeah.


EXT. EMERALD CITY GATES - DAY

The four enter, and knock on the door. It opens.

GUARD

GO away!

Chewy lifts up Luke and show's the slippers.

GUARD

The wizard will be with you in a moment.

The guard exits.

TIN MAN

I wish I had those shoes.

Chewy, Han, and Luke stare at The Tin Man as if he's crazy.


INT. THE WIZARD'S CHAMBER - DAY

The Four enter. The WIZARD OF OZ/YODA is talking on a cellphone.

YODA

Yeah, she broke up with me. I'm busy tonight too, I'm doing a shoot.

Yoda looks at The Four and jumps in shock.

YODA

Got to go! Bye.

Yoda hangs up.

LUKE

I need to kill some one!

HAN

I need a brain!

Chewy makes noise.

HAN

He says he needs courage.

TIN MAN

And I need a some new circuits.

YODA

I'll give you those if… You kill Darth Vader and the Wicked witch of the East.

LUKE

WHAT! I can't kill my own mother!

YODA

They're girls? Um, just go and do it!

TIN MAN

Why me?


INT. THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST'S CHAMBER - DAY

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Vader! Bring Luke here! Then we will turn him to the Dark side and take his slippers!

DARTH VADER

But I have a headache mom!

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Just go!

DARTH VADER

Fine! Be like that!

Darth Vader exits abruptly.


EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT

The Four enter a lunch line of flying monkeys. They go up to a MONKEY LUNCH LADY who stops them.

MONKEY LUNCH LADY

You don't look like monkeys to me!

The Four look at each other and start acting like monkeys.

MONKEY LUNCH LADY

Okay, take your bananas and go.

The Four take their bananas and go some distance, then they all stop acting like monkeys except Chewy.

HAN

Uh, Chewy?

Chewy stops and they all exit.


INT. OUTSIDE A BIG DOOR - NIGHT

LUKE

This is it.

HAN

You go first.

LUKE

ME? Why can't you go?

HAN

You started this.

LUKE

You come in with me then.


INT. THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST'S CHAMBER - NIGHT

DARTH VADER

I couldn't find him mother. He's coming in though.

There is knocking.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Come in Luke.

Luke and Han enter. Luke and Darth Vader light saber duel.

DARTH VADER

Do you hate me yet?

LUKE

No.

DARTH VADER

Now?

LUKE

No.

DARTH VADER

How about now?

LUKE

NO! For the last time!

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

He's a sissy!

DARTH VADER

Face it, you'll never turn to the dark side.

LUKE

Figures.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Kill him and get the slippers!

LUKE

You're going to kill me? Wait! If I join the dark side will you still kill me for the slippers?

DARTH VADER

Sissy's are weak; and I want to wear those slippers tomorrow for my birthday.

LUKE

They aren't magical?

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Of course not!

Luke and Darth Vader duel until Luke cuts off Darth Vader's hand.

Luke runs up to The Wicked Witch of the East and heels her toe.

The Wicked Witch of the East cries out in pain.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

I'm melting! I'm melting! What a world! What a life!

The Wicked Witch of the East doesn't melt at all.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Oh.

DARTH VADER

Mom, this isn't worth having red slippers for my birthday.

WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

Go you fools!

Luke picks up a piece of concrete. Han and Luke exit.

LEAH

HEY! What about me?


INT. THE WIZARDS CHAMBER - DAY

LUKE

We brought you back some concrete from the castle.

YODA

CONCRETE? That could have come from anywhere!

LUKE

But...

YODA

Fine, I'll give you what you want if you give me a cookie.

Chewy is eating cookies.

HAN

Chewy, give him you're last one.

Chewy shakes his head vigorously.

HAN

Do you want to be a coward the rest of your life?

Chewy shrugs and hands Yoda his cookie.

YODA

Thank you much.

Yoda waves his hand.


EXT. KANSAS IN FRONT OF LUKE'S HOUSE - DAY

Luke and Auntie Em are roasting Ms. Gulch over a fire.

AUNTIE EM

Don't ever run away like that again!

LUKE

I can't anyways. I have to where these high heals for the rest of my life!

AUNTIE EM

They actually don't look half bad on you.

R2 makes laughing beeps.

LUKE

I'm turning GAY!