Stephenie Meyer owns these characters... I just wanted to play a bit. No copyright infringement intended. I don't own Twilight.

To my beloved Mary – I couldn't have even attempted this without you telling me I could. Also – you're stuck with me for life… get used to it.

Corey… thank you so much for making this something readable. You are so incredibly talented and someday wanna write as pretty as you! Xoxo

Everyone who has read or reviewed… thank you from the bottom of my heart. You make the nerves go away!

Chapter Two

Bella's POV

I love Edward in ways that are impossible to explain. But, I wonder now if it is enough. From the moment he walked into my bookstore I was captivated. I fell hook, line and sinker for the man with the bronze, unruly hair and piercing green eyes and there was no turning back. I was his completely. He laid on the charm and sweet-talked me into giving him my phone number with the promise of a call and a date. Honestly, he could have asked for anything that day and I would have given it to him.

Five years. That's how long I've loved him. I'll love him forever, but I can't continue to pretend that I'm happy with the life we have right now. In a good week, I see him for a couple of hours a day and I use the term 'see' loosely. Usually, it's when he's crawling into bed early in the morning hours and then crawling back out of bed a few hours later. I understand that his job is demanding and that he's committed to it, it's one of the reasons I fell in love with him. When he knows what he wants, he doesn't just do it half-assed. Five years. But in those five years, there hasn't been one mention of where our relationship is ultimately heading. Of course we talk about the future in general terms like, where will we live and what we will be doing and what our friends might be doing, but not once have we broached the actual subject of marriage… our marriage. I want that with him, more than anything. I want to be tied to him in every possible way.

So on Wednesday, I made a plan. I called his secretary to 'schedule' an evening out for us. He had to know it was important if I actually scheduled something. I decided I was going to ask Edward to marry me. I know it isn't traditional, but I don't care. Besides, it will give us a story to tell our grandkids. Grandkids… now there's a wonderful thought about the future! I had to figure out how to do it. I contemplated what grand gesture he would appreciate. However, when I think back on all of our happiest times there was nothing grand about any of them. They were just us… together. I want it to be easy, as easy as the day I met him and I had an idea.

When I rushed home that afternoon to get everything ready before I had to meet Edward at the restaurant, I went to our bookshelf and found the photo album that contained five years of memories. Five years of love, laughter, tears and joy and I found the little sheet of paper I was looking for. Very carefully, I cut off the lower portion and sat down at our desk. I took a deep breath. I slowly and carefully wrote 'please marry me' on the small sheet of paper. Then I took the little black box out of my purse. I slid the note inside, nestling it against the platinum band I picked out for him. I knew he'd love it.

After showering I decided what to wear. I picked out one of Edward's favorite dresses. I zipped up the deep burgundy halter top dress that fell just above my knee. I slipped into a pair of strappy three inch black heels. The first time I wore this dress we were an hour late to dinner with Alice and Jasper. Remembering the way he looked at me that entire night gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. With one final look in the mirror, I smoothed the front of my dress and headed out to the restaurant. I was a bit early so I took a seat at the bar. I ordered a dirty martini and took a few deep breaths. I reminded myself that everything was going to be fine. I glanced at my watch and noticed Edward was about 15 minutes late. Not surprised, I went back to my drink and started fiddling with my blackberry when suddenly it rang. I instantly recognized the number. Jane, Edward's secretary was calling and I knew it could only be bad news.

"Hi Bella."

"Jane, to what do I owe the pleasure tonight?"

"Edward asked me to call you and let you know that he isn't going to make dinner, I hope I caught you before you got to the restaurant."

I could feel the tears threatening but I forced them back.

"No Jane, actually I'm here waiting already."

"Oh I'm so sorry… It looks like it might be a late night, what with this case he's working on. How about I have him give you a call in a little bit?"

"No, that's ok Jane, I'll just head home and I'll see him when he gets in tonight. Thanks."

With a click she was gone, and the tears won. I quickly threw a twenty dollar bill on the bar, grabbed my purse and rushed out. I climbed into my car, laid my head on the steering wheel and let the tears flow. I wrapped my arms around my torso as it felt like I was falling to pieces. I could barely breathe and my heart was breaking.

I finally pulled myself together enough to drive to our apartment. I scanned the home we had made for ourselves. I moved over to the shelf holding my favorite picture of us. We were so happy that day. A few years ago Alice, Jasper, Edward and I decided to head out of the city to relax a little. We drove to a small pumpkin farm to pick apples. When we got to the farm, we went on a hayride. It was a perfect day. Alice took that particular picture, I was leaning against Edward's strong chest and he had his arms around me and we are gazing at each other like there was nothing better in this world. I'm not sure I had been that happy since. Shortly before it was taken, Edward made junior partner and here we are…

Since then, it's as though he's taken me for granted, like I'll just always be here. I have never felt so lonely. I headed to our bedroom, looking at the bed I can almost feel him. We have always been incredible together. God he could make me feel things I never imagined were possible. Sex has never been a problem for us. Except, lately it's more like my room as Edward is rarely home long enough to be considered living in this place. Tears were falling furiously and I didn't even bother wiping them away. I reached into our closet and grabbed a small suitcase. I haphazardly put clothes into the bag then grabbed my favorite picture from the pumpkin farm. I couldn't leave without it. Then I sat on the couch and waited.

Shortly before 11PM I heard his footsteps outside our door and the key in the lock.

I could tell he was surprised to see me sitting there awake, much less with a packed bag at my feet. He scanned the room and then looked directly at me and asked, "Bella, baby, what are you doing?"

"Edward, I just can't do this anymore."

"Do what, exactly, Bella?"

He sat down next to me on the couch, and I knew that he noticed the tear tracks on my cheeks and the defeated appearance of my posture and my red, bloodshot eyes.

"This Edward…us." With those words, I felt like I'd given up on us.

I picked up my suitcase and headed for the door. I reached into the pocket of my grey hoodie I changed into a couple of hours ago and rubbed the velvet box with my thumb.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm going to be staying at Alice's for a couple days. I'll let you know when I get settled and we'll work all the other details out. I just can't think about this anymore tonight."

I stopped at the side table by our front door and laid the small black box on top of it, resting my hand on it for just a moment and then I walked out the door and it felt like I had just left my whole heart in that apartment with him.

The sound of the door catching, was like thunder in the silent hallway.


Please let me know what you think in the reviews!

Also – please go check out some of the blogs I work on…

Indieficpimp - indieficpimp . blogspot

Teambella23 - teamcloserward . blogspot

Wayward Pushers - theficpusher. Blogspot

Twisted in Slash - twistedinslash . blogspot

Moving Pictures - breakfastatbellas . blogspot

Mens Rea - teammensrea . blogspot

AND – as if that wasn't enough begging on my part, please go check out the following fic. The authors updated last night and it definitely deserves your attention!

Irreconcilable Differences by AnonySwan & AnonyCullen – incredibly hot and so good!

www . fanfiction s / 5896780 / 1 /

just remove spaces from all those links! xoxo -jaime