18"What was that? Roger, what did you just say!?" Mello questioned.
"I'm afraid L is dead," Roger announced gravely.
"He's dead? But how!? Was it Kira? Did Kira kill him? Come on Roger, you've got to tell me!" Mello demanded.
"Probably," Roger answered.
"But he promised me he'd find Kira and execute him and now you're telling me that he's been killed!?" Mello shouted as he grabbed Roger's shoulders.
"Mello!" Roger exclaimed. Mello let go of Roger and turned to look at Near, who had just dumped puzzles pieces onto the floor.
"If you can't win the game. If you can't solve the puzzle, then you're just a loser," Near stated calmly.
"So, which of us did L pick? Me or Near?" Mello asked Roger as he turned his back to Near.
"He hadn't chosen yet. And now that he's gone, I'm afraid he won't be able to. Because he was unable to choose, I have made the choice for him," Roger said.
"Who did you choose?" Mello asked. It'll be twithead Near, of course he thought bitterly.
"Mello," Roger answered. Mello gaped at him. Near even looked slightly surprised. A large, prideful smile spread across Mello's face.
"Why?" Near asked in his usual monotone.
"It's because I'm smarter, tougher, and better looking than you, of course," Mello bragged.
"Actually, it's because we need someone who Kira will have a hard time learning the identity of. Even if he met you face to face he would have trouble figuring out your gender, let alone your name," Roger answered. The smile quickly slid off Mello's face.
"Is that your reason!? Seriously!? Shouldn't it at least include the fact that I'm more fashionable than Near!?" Mello exclaimed.
"Your attitude will certainly help in keeping him confused about your gender," Roger muttered.
"I heard that!" Mello whined. Near chuckled quietly at him. "Shut up!"
Several Years Later
While Light had been leading the Task Force in circles to keep his identity hidden, Mello had been gathering a small army of Yakuza members. Eventually, his army was large enough that he stormed their headquarters and kidnapped all of them. "I believe that one of you is Kira. Now I will find out which one it is," Mello said, as he studied all of them carefully. "You're too stupid," he said as he passed by Matsuda. Matsuda sat in a corner and pouted. "You're too old," he said as he passed by Chief Yagami.
"Thanks a lot..." Chief Yagami muttered.
"Your hair is too lame," Mello said to Aizawa.
"Now wait a second! What does that have to do with anything!?" Aizawa exclaimed.
"It's simple. Kira has a large ego and expects everyone to fear and worship him. Could you really be frightened of and want to worship a guy with an afro?" Mello questioned. Aizawa sulked in the corner with Matsuda and muttered angrily to himself. "You're too ugly. And before you ask, it's the same reasoning I used for afro man," Mello said as he passed Ide. Ide joined Aizawa and Matsuda in the corner and sulked. Mello stopped in front of Light. "Hmmm... Perfect hair, perfect teeth, finely dressed, intelligent look in the eyes. Yep, you're Kira. And apparently a pretty boy," he stated.
"Like you've got room to talk... I can barely tell you apart from a woman..." Light muttered. Mello promptly punched him in the face. "Argh! Stupid freaking psychopath!" Light shouted in pain.
"How dare you hurt my son!" Chief Yagami shouted. Mello ignored him.
"The fact that you are still insulting me, even though that's why I punched you in the first place, proves even more that you're Kira. After all, Kira is arrogant and hates to be made to look like a fool," Mello said with a smirk.
"You don't have any real evidence so you can't do anything to me," Light said smugly.
"I'm not L, I'm much more ruthless," Mello said with an evil grin.
"What do you mean by th-" before Light could finish speaking, Mello pulled out a pistol and blew his brains out. Chief Yagami fainted.
"Hey, what about me? You never checked if I were Kira..." Mogi muttered.
"You could have been ignored and gotten away safely, but since you spoke up that means you hate to be ignored, which means you could be Kira," Mello stated. He then shot Mogi in the head. Matsuda fainted. "Quick question. Does Light have a girlfriend, or boyfriend, who idolizes him?" Mello asked.
"Yeah. Misa Amane," Aizawa answered.
"Did you record it?" Mello asked a random Yakuza dude. The guy nodded. Mello quickly looked her up on the web and found her email address. He then sent her an email.
"What did you do?" Aizawa asked.
"I emailed her a video of me killing Light. Now I will release all of you. Could you please carry the unconscious ones?" Mello asked the nearest Yakuza guy. The guy nodded and grabbed Matsuda while another grabbed Chief Yagami. They were all released and told to never speak of this to anyone. If they did, their families, or what was left of their families, would be killed.
Several Days Later on a News Channel
The killing of criminals has suddenly stopped. Some think Kira is simply taking a vacation while others believe he is dead. On another note, Misa Amane was found in her apartment dead yesterday morning. She had apparently hung herself the news lady said. Mello smirked as he bit a chunk out of a chocolate bar and watched the news.
Beat that, bigheaded Near he thought smugly.