24I saw a True Blood interview, that said Snoop wants a part on the show. Well I can't do that, but I can write a story about Snoop and the True blood gang. So mad props to you Snoop on the video! It was the Bomb. I watched it like 10 times! It was all that and a bag of chips and a bowl of grits!
When I saw Snoop's video called Oh Sookie, I thought to myself, what would happen if Snoop Dog came into Fangtasia and sang his song to Sookie and her friends? Back up dancers and all. Well this is the product of that thought. This takes place after Mary Ann, but before Bill is kidnapped.
Oh! Sookie!:
Bill and I walk into Fangtasia through the employee entrance. We received a summons from Eric, stating our presence were required tonight. So yet again, our plans for the evening are canceled and I find myself at Fangtasia, for God only knows what.
We walk in to the bar area and are meet with the sight of Eric and Pam sitting in Eric's booth. I am surprised to see Lafayette, Tara and Sam sitting with them as well.
"He called you too?" Everyone nods.
"So what is this about Eric? We had plans! We were going to go to a movie, but instead I am now stuck here with you! " I say crossing my arms across my chest, in an overly annoyed fashion, while tapping my foot. Eric raises an eye brow at me.
"What movie were you going to see?" Tara inquires.
"Oh, we were going to see Jerry Maguire, staring Tom Cruise. It looks really sweet. They are showing an encore of it at the $1.50 movie theater."
"Shit! Bill arent's you afraids of loseins yours man card? I'ms a gay muther fucker and evens I wouldn't bes caught deads watchns that shit!" Laf says to Bill surprised.
"Anything for my Sookie. Besides what is a man card?"
"It is… just.. never mind." Tara rolls her eyes.
"If Bill returns from that movie, stating that Sookie "Completes him" I will chain him in silver for a week! Bill definitely loses his man card for watching that movie." Pam says smirking at Laf and challenging Bill.
Bill ignores Pam's comment.
"Can we get on with it Eric, Sookie and I have plans." Bill says in annoyance at being summoned.
"I received a request for Sookie, as well as her friend's presents, from someone named Snoop dog and the dog pound. I am unfamiliar with this Snoop Dog." Eric says with a frown looking over the paper work yet again, then up at me.
"Snoop Dog and the Dog pound?" Tara and I say, dumbfounded. Why would he want to see us?
"Shit bitches; yous knows Snoop Dog the rapper. Please tell me you have heards of him! Tha Dogg pound is his boys." Laf says looking at Eric and Pam. They both raise an eyebrow at being called bitch.
"You mean the Snoop Dog and The Dogg pound?" I ask again in shock.
"Apparently so. He has requested all of our presents for a meeting. He should be arriving shortly."
"I wonder what this is about." I say confused, as to why a rapper would want to see me.
Suddenly the front door to the club flies open and in swaggers Snoop Dog, dressed in a sleek black suit with a red pattern on it and a red tie. He has a gangster style hat with a beige color swatch on it and a large gold necklace that says "Sookie". He is followed in by 5 men that are all dressed to the nines. They must be the Dogg pound.
"OOOOH" Screams Lafayette and Tara sounding like a bunch of teen age girls. Eric, looks like he is accessing the situation, in case a battle ensues. Pam looks up, in a bored manner, from her nails. She eyes Snoop Dogg up and down with sexual interest and licks her lips. Bill pulls me slightly behind him, as if trying to shield me from some kind of danger and Sam is sitting there with an unimpressed expression on this face.
All of a sudden, Dr Dre slowly rolls up in a brown customized 1968, Forth generation, Cadillac Eldorado, with 3 cream colored stripes, running down the side of the car. I wonder if he hyped up the engine, with some engine mods as well? Huh. I am a southern girl, what can I say, we know our cars.
The car is bouncing up and down, doing the 3 wheel motion. The license plate on the front reads "Tru Pimp" and has Snoop Dogg painted on the hood. How on Gods green earth did they drive that thing into Fangtasia? Eric must have a loading dock in the back of club?
Is that a crystal chandler in the car? My word! Who would install such a thing in a car! Doesn't he worry about car jackers? Plus that just doesn't seem safe. I bet it caused him, to lose a few stars on his front impact safety rating. Did they even have safety rating back in 1968?
Dr Dre steps out of the car, giving a nod to Snoop Dogg and Tha Dogg Pound. He hits a switch, causing the trunk to pop open. Four large Bandpass subwoofers boxes emerge from the truck and a large Boss 1800 watt amp, painted to match the car with a neon blue light. As the beat drops, Dr Dre and Tha Dogg Pound smoothly slide over to a booth, letting Snoop Dog have the floor, front and center. Eric is looking bored, as if, it is an everyday occurrence, to have the telepath of area 5, serenaded by world famous rappers.
A group of 5 girls dressed in Merlottes uniforms and Blond wigs, climb out of the back of the car and start dancing behind Snoop. Good God, what in the world is this? My mouth hangs open catching flies at this display. I hear Eric's, Pam's and Bill's fang drop down at the sight of 5 wanta be Sookies.
"Master, can I keep one of the extra Sookies?"
Eric glares at Pam. "No".
Snoop approaches me, holding out his hand. I give him my hand and he places a gentle lingering kiss on it, while looking up at me with his two big brown eyes. I blush, while all the sups at the table growl, except Pam. She licks her lips and looks up at Snoop expectantly, wanting the same treatment. Snoop steps back to the middle of the floor and smoothes the rim of his hat, then winks at me. Pam looks disappointed.
Whats happen'n Sookie
I blush.
Its Snoop Dog
I'm only in Bon toma for the day
Come close baby
I'm the dog that don't bite
Woof woof
Eric, Bill and Sam growl in unison.
Oh Sookie
Let me get in your head
Oh Sookie
We can lay in the bed
OH Sookie
Choose a player like me
Do it in the day time with the D O Double G
Oh Sookie
Can I take you away
Oh Sookie
You ever been to LA
Oh Sookie
Come play on my team
We'd do it in the day time
Bill won't know a thing
Bill lets out a menacing growl at the sound of his name in the song. Lafayette and Tara stand up in the booth dancing, like there is no tomorrow.
Say Sookie
Take this Mary J Cookie
"You tells'm how its be Snoop!" Lafayette yells, as hops down to pass Snoop a rolled Philly blunt. Snoop looks at the blunt, smirks, then takes a hit.
And roll with the dog
Vampires can't hook me
You out of Bon temp
You need a Bon Pimp
A real Don won
You might get whipped
Yellow cars ain't fly
"I know he didn't just slam my car! What is it with you men, making fun of my car?" I say throwing my hands in the air, giving pointed stares to Eric, Bill and Snoop. "It might not be the prettiest, but it mine and it gets me from point A to point B!
So hop in my jet
Try to read my mind
You might get wet
Choose big or lose big
I know all the spots
Then order you a gin and juice at Merlottes
"Not if I have anything to say about it" Sam stands up and yells at Snoop. "You most certainly can't come in Merlottes with those dancers." Sam says pointing a finger at the wanta be girls, trying to shame them.
Oh Sookie
Let me get in your head
Oh Sookie
We can lay in the bed
OH Sookie
Choose a player like me
Do it in the day time with the D O Double G
Oh Sookie
Can I take you away
Oh Sookie
You ever been to LA
Oh Sookie
Come play on my team
We'd do it in the day time
Bill won't know a thing
"How is it that "I won't know a thing", when he is telling me about it now?" Bill asks out loud, not really expecting an answer.
Leave a stain on your brain
Can a dog get some love
Won't trick you like Eric
And make you drink blood
Eric stands up and growls. The Dogg Pound give him a pointed look. Eric glares and growls at them, with his fangs down. After a moment he sits back down, while giving them a menacing stare that says he means business.
Sookie Stackhouse
Or Snoopy style grit
Sam ain't a man
He turns into a bitch
"I ain't no bitch!" Sam yells, he starts shaking like his is getting ready to shift, then try's to charge at Snoop. Eric and Bill hold him back. Snoop smirks and tips his pimp hat at Sam.
Bill ain't for real
He ain't true blood
Now Eric is trying to holding back both Bill and Sam. Good thing Eric is so old and strong. After a few moments, Eric is able to get them both to stand down, with a commanding growl. Laf is now dancing on the bar, dry humping the air and waving his hand around, as if he is smacking someone's imaginary ass.
Snoop is G
I smoke true bud
Wanta be a Vampire
Gota listen up
I hit you with the glamour
I think you want suck
These nuts
"Eww! I won't be sucking any ones nuts Mister! I am a Lady!" I say in disgust.
Oh Sookie
Let me get in your head
Oh Sookie
We can lay in the bed
OH Sookie
Choose a player like me
Do it in the day time with the D O Double G
Oh Sookie
Can I take you away
Oh Sookie
You ever been to LA
Oh Sookie
Come play on my team
We'd do it in the day time
Bill won't know a thing
Bill growls again. Really? Does Bill not know how to do anything else, besides growl? I roll my eyes at him. Bill gives me an apologizing look.
See Sookie
You should come and try some of this
You know I get more ***** then your brother
"Ew, I so do not want to think about my brother and his man whoring ways! He is my brother for Gods sake!" I say out loud exuberated.
Oh ya,
And bring a friend
Matter of fact
Bring your best friend
Tara
I a gots some real eggs for her to eat
Snoop winks at Tara, tipping his hat at her. Tara blushes and swoons, while jumping up and down.
These eggs comes with a whole lots of cheese and greens
Oowee,
Ya dig
Suck it easy
Suck it easy
Snoop gives a little bow, and swaggers over to join The Dogg Pound. The wanta be girls, climb into the back of Snoops car. Once Snoop reaches The Dogg Pound, they step out of the booth and stand behind him, in some kind of weird formation. The air around them starts to shimmer and all but one, shift into dog. Snoop shifts into a Doberman pitcher, just like in one of his earlier videos. The Dogg Pound, shifts in to a Pit bulls, a Rottweiler and a German Shepherd. All but Snoop, run and jump in the car. Including one member, who did not shift. Apparently someone has to drive. Snoop in his shifted form, jumps up, resting his front paws in my lap. He leans forward and licks my face, gives me a look, then takes off running for the car. Before I know what has happened, the car is turned around and rolls out of the building, still doing the 3 wheel motion.
"Snoops a shifter! Well fuck me upside down and sideways on a Tuesday morning! I guess I should have known after seeing Snoop Dogs Video DoggyStyle" I say looking around the table at everyone. Eric and Pam raises an eye brow and looks deep in thought, about exactly how to fuck me up side down and sideways. Bill gives me a disapproving look. Everyone else looks perplexed at what had just transpired, with Snoop and The Dogg Pound.
After a few more minutes, we decide to say our goodbyes and head home for the night.