I banged my head against the glass of the car window as gently but as angrily as I could.
I couldn't believe I was here, again!
It had been at least 200 years since we had been in the dismal town of Forks and the town population had barely managed to gain anyone, I noted as we drove past.
Still a measly 3120 people.
I ran my hand through my hair and I heard Carlisle's calm and passive voice in my head.
Bella, Calm down. It's been nearly two hundred years. You should be more open to change.
I scowled at the blonde head in the front seat and hissed under my breath, low enough the human driving couldn't hear.
"I have things here I don't want to see or hear again. The memories alone are enough." I whispered at our vampire frequency, so as not to alarm the truck driver in the front seat.
Fair enough. But I wish you would try to at least look like your excited. I know Alice is. You could learn a thing or two from her came Carlisle's gentle thoughts. He only wants the best for me, and I knew that. I just couldn't grow to accept it yet.
"Fine." I whispered back, glaring out the car window as my siblings all sped past us in their cars.
I failed to see why I couldn't ride with them, but Esme had insisted as the 'youngest', I would be riding with them for appearances sakes.
Sweetheart, you're growling. The driver is noticing. Try and calm yourself down. Esme's voice floated into my head, as sweet as sugar.
I rolled my eyes and ceased my animalistic growling at my 'capture'.
I was an animal, a monster.
And I wanted out.
We eventually arrived at our old house and the familiarity of it was pleasant. The long wide, white mansion stood out gloriously in between all of the old Redwoods and it held an old charm that almost made it glow.
It felt like home.
As soon at the truck pulled up I was already ripping open my door and inhaling the sweet (human free) air.
Carlisle had insisted we could handle things from here and the man was too happy to oblige when Carlisle tipped him three hundred dollars to catch a cab home and to pick up his truck tomorrow. I could hear the smug thoughts radiating out of his head as he waved goodbye to us and we set off alone.
Because we were free from prying human eyes we could move at our own speed now and in about half an hour we were already mostly set up.
Emmet and Jasper had brought in all the furniture while Carlisle, Alice, Rose and I put around our little ornaments and knick-knacks.
Esme set off at record speed dusting and vacuuming everything in sight, I could tell by her ecstatic thoughts she was happy to be home. Her entire aura radiated pure bliss. It was easy to see out of all the places she had lived she enjoyed it here the most.
It was, of course, the place where they had found me.
As the day drew to a close, Jasper and Carlisle started to wash all the windows and the rest of us helped put a new coat of fresh paint on the house.
As dawn started the next day we were still cleaning up and our house was almost arranged. Apart from some newly laid carpet, new paint and lights dotted all through the house, not much had changed here.
When I trudged up the stairs to the third story, which housed my bedroom and my bedroom only, I opened my door only to find Alice going through my cupboard re-organising everything I had haphazardly laid everywhere.
I smiled and plopped down on the bed in my messy painting clothes.
"You stink like paint." She remarked, as she hung up my jeans.
"Thanks." I smiled back sarcastically.
"Bella. I've been meaning to tell you something." She kept her back to me, studiously putting away articles of clothing in Season then Occasion then Colour order. Her OCD levels were at one a human brain couldn't comprehend. It was ridiculous.
I leant forward and I tried to pick her brain for what it may be but she effectively blocked me out singing stupid Christmas carols.
"What do you want to tell me, Al?" I asked curiously.
The small vampire sucked in a large breath and she turned to face me, utterly void of emotion.
"I had a vision, and in the vision you meet a guy, a human boy at school with us. I will admit he is hot for human Bells. You two fall will in love. I've seen him as one of us. He is your mate, I'm sure." She tried to smile, knowing how hard all this relationship stuff was on me.
I wasn't one for love. It was just a bad way of reminding me of what I had, what could have been; what should have been. As much as my cold heart ached for love, for someone who could be my everything and anything, I could not submit a poor human to this life. There was so much else that he could want, that he could possibly experience alive then as one of us.
We were frozen.
That was the part that fuelled my hatred for what I was the most. I would have preferred that Carlisle left me on the cliffs where he found me. I wanted to be dead, believe me. But when Carlisle found me, leapt down the cliff edge and rushing water and carried me away, I was sure he was a god sent from the heavens, a super human. I was so sure he could help me become me again, human and alive.
I was wrong.
As soon as my pain riddled head hit his beautiful couch pillows he was at my neck, whispering to me in low and sweet tones that he would make the pain go away. All could do was nod, I had no energy anymore, nothing to spare. I was drained of life but little did I know, I was about to be drained of a soul as well.
The pain was like nothing I had ever experienced. It instantly wiped the pain I was already in clear out of my foggy mind and all I could see was a venomous fire, it's poisonous wrath taking over my veins and strangling my organs. I didn't open my mouth, I didn't scream. I was silent the entire time. I had a firm grasp on my vow of silence and I knew if I opened my mouth even just to say a simple "it's okay." to Carlisle's, "I'm so sorry, I promise it will stop soon." I would loose.
Apparently my change was faster then the others and that surprised him. He said I took to this life with absolute finesse. A born Vampire, he would call me. It eventually started to wear on my nerves, a born Vampire my ass.
Yeah sure, I was given some gifts that were beyond the norm of most vampires but in reality I was just like every one of them. I had the standard speed and strength, great eyesight and utterly incomprehensible beauty. My only special feature was my ability to read peoples minds. It didn't matter where I was, I just had to tune into the special frequency rather then blocking out the constant hum of voices and pick out who I wanted. If I was right in front of someone I could easily hear him or her as if they were actually speaking to my face.
It was a bit of a nuisance at first. I actually thought people were talking to me and I would respond in kind. It really sucked because people would think of my name and my head would snap up looking at them waiting for them to talk again and they would look at me like I was insane.
Carlisle was over the moon when we finally figured out what was going on inside my immensely private head. That was another one of my gifts; I wasn't harmed by other powers that affect the mind. It was pretty handy in battle especially when Jane tried to attack me. I could read her mind so I was telling my family what she was going to do and I could also protect them from her.
It did make me a pretty strong vampire, I was pretty hard to defeat. Since I was still the 'youngest' (technically) I wasn't as skilled in my ability in hand to hand combat but Jasper and his training lessons every second day were really starting to help me improve my already quite styled techniques.
We were always in prepare for a battle for land since our treaty with the shape shifters and since the Volturi decided that we could be a possible threat to their ancient throne. Alice would, of course, see when they were coming and we could properly train like the small but powerful army we were. We all had gifts in a certain way or another which made us almost impenetrable.
Carlisle had his compassion.
Esme had her love, which basically meant if you hurt someone she loved, you would pay with your small meaningless life.
Jasper had his ability to control the emotions of the people around him.
Alice had her visions and due to her small frame, was extremely fast.
Emmett had his amazing strength and ability to always look into something with a positive outlook.
Rosalie had her tenacity and her ability to bewitch you with her beauty and charm, something that could be quite lethal.
And of course there was me. I had the ability to read minds and protect people and myself with my mind shield from other mentally involved powers.
We were strong.
We were impenetrable.
This was one of the things I really liked about being what I was. I was able to protect the people I loved. It was what made being what I was worth fighting others and slaughtering possible innocent lives.
I glanced back up at Alice's sad face and sighed. She stood there with my jeans hanging over her arms and was watching me fight internally with her future. She knew it was going to happen one way or another and there wasn't much I could do to stop it.
Since I was the 3rd oldest vampire in our clan (just below Carlise and Jasper), I knew controlling my thirst was no trouble at all. She knew I wouldn't hurt him, that way at least and my ability would give me an insight into what he was thinking so I could make decisions based on that. I was going to have to grin and bare it.
Alice slowly walked over to me and sat delicately beside me opening her tiny arms, gesturing to me she wanted to give me a hug. I returned the favour, cuddling up to her and closing my eyes.
"I'm scared, Al. What if I can't do this…I don't want it to be like before. Niyol …I…"
When I thought his name, all of the foggy human memories were brought to the surface.
He was my best friend.
We had known each other since we were kids and grew up together. He was like my other half. I probably lived at much at my house as I did at his. His dad never battered an eyelid when I came over to stay and my dad never worried where I was because I was always with Niyol.
Niyol was Native American and my dad saved his dad from a wreckage after he was in a terrible car accident. It sadly left Billy in a wheelchair but he was still the strong vibrant soul his family loved and he never gave up. After my dad saved him as a young man on police patrol he asked my dad if there was anything he could do to repay him. For, you know, saving his life and letting him be there to see his only son, who was only 3 months grow up. My dad had always been a good judge of character and replied; " I think I would like it if we kept in touch. I know a good man when I see one." And a gruff manly handshake ensued, sealing the deal.
It turned out Billy and Charlie, my father, had a lot in common. They both liked fishing and hunting. They both went for the same football team and drank the same beer. They both cherished loyalty and a good laugh and a good feed.
And above all, they adored their family, fiercely protective.
Billy and Charlie were very much alike.
When my mother left Charlie, not only did she abandon me as a mother, but she also broke Charlie's heart. He made sure that I knew everyday what a wonderful woman she was and to never let their mistakes control my ability of creating my own. He always said I was an open book, easy to read.
Whenever he started on the subject of my mother I always shut down. I didn't want to hear about her so called "love" of me, and he knew that, but somehow felt me knowing that would somehow help me in some strange way.
I guess it did, but I never let him know that.
When Niyol and I were introduced we were both only 6 months old. But we instantly clicked. Dad and Billy both said it was like watching two missing puzzle pieces instantly match.
If I had to look back on it now I would say it was as easy as breathing. He was funny and outgoing, a bit rough round the edges and just an overall sunny personality that could cheer anyone up, no matter how bad your mood was. He was a huge guy, physically. He was very tall, with russet skin and dark brown almost black hair. His grey eyes stood out among the darkness of him. Like his father he was protective and caring, and overall, loving.
He was my everything.
I, on the other hand wasn't like this at all, but he brought out a side of me I liked. I was an introvert, shy and a total bookworm. I was always a tomboy and didn't mind getting a little bit dirty if it meant getting what I wanted. I had a temper and I was quite stubborn. I could be witty and sarcastic, always putting in my two words if I didn't agree. I was short, a small 5'2 and very petite.
My reddish brown hair curled in some places and was straight in others, I liked to think it couldn't make up its mind. My brown eyes were light but intense with small golden flecks splattered throughout them. They were framed by thick dark lashes, which curled up nicely. My pale skin didn't help me much though, I was almost translucent. It was my least favourite part about me. I always wanted to have some form of colour, but when I tried I just burned. I gave up tanning a long time ago. I had a diamond shape face, with perfect bone structure according to Alice. I guess I was pretty but at the time I didn't think about it much.
Since my change, my pale skin was intensified and my once chocolate eyes were golden, but still retained strange brown flecks throughout them. My hair was a tad darker, bringing out the strange red highlights and my beauty intensified.
Everywhere I went I got the usual thoughts. They all thought I was some form of goddess, usually Earth, that came to walk amongst the lowly humans. The guys just wanted to screw me in the most vulgar ways possible and the girls just battered away their self-esteem one comment at a time.
School was usually a nightmare but I figured if I dressed uninteresting enough they would leave me alone for once. But Alice always made sure we were dressed impeccably. It seemed like sometimes she was determined to make me stick out, a sore thumb.
After a quiet cuddle and girl chat with Alice she quickly flew back into organising my clothes while I went to take a shower and to wash the paint and grime off my stone skin. The warm water was heavenly against my icy skin and I washed my hair, revelling in how quickly something dirty could be washed away without a second thought.
I stepped out of the shower and was attacked by a thick warm mist. It had intensified my scent a million times and I opened the window to empty it out before my nose became desensitised.
I wrapped my body in a thick towel and dried my hair to perfection. The ringlets hung perfectly and my fringe framed my face well. I knew I didn't need makeup but I put on some eyeliner and mascara because I felt like it and I smiled at myself in the mirror.
Your looking good, Bell's. Now go out there and attend this school…. for the second time in your life. I sighed and wondered out of the room, to see what Alice had left me to wear.
On the bed were some regular black undergarments, my dark grey skinny jeans, royal blue short sleeve blouse and a long dark grey knitted cardigan. Beside the bed sat my favourite charcoal Jimmy Choo heeled boots. I knew when I was a human I hated any form of heels, but since I was a perfectly balanced vampire, I had gained a new sense of appreciation for the heeled death traps.
I quickly dressed and checked myself in the mirror noticing my eyes were starting to darken and I ran out of the house to feed before I had to be at school in two hours time.
Sprinting through the forest always left me on a high. It was like nothing else I had ever experienced. It was pure bliss. The rush of the trees and the limbs gently caressing my arms and legs was like nature was welcoming me back into her embrace, like she was forgiving me for what I was. Like she was forgiving me for draining her animals and humans of life.
I stopped and closed my eyes, letting my ears search for the telltale thump of a wet heart. I inhaled the air around me, using all of my senses to hunt, to kill. And then I heard it.
I ran and sprinted towards the sweet scent of the blood. It was like a siren, calling to me. I saw the mountain lion in my tracks, it stopped and looked around, it was on guard and had heard me coming.
As I quietly approached I decided my attack would be best by surprise, I climbed the tallest tree on top of the mountain lions line of sight and waited for my attack. As he decided to go back to stalking the small rabbit in his line of sight, I pounced landing straight onto his back and my mouth latching onto his jugular. I sucked in the sweet blood and drank heavily. My teeth easily sank through the tissue and sinew, making the fat of his neck feel like the softest butter.
I threw away the carcass and snarled at the disgust that there was nothing left to slake my thirst. After hunting a few more elk and deer, I walked back at a leisurely vampire pace and was climbing into my car right on the dot of 7am.
I had decided to drive myself this morning since I felt I needed time to brace myself for the onslaught of human voices running at a constant hum in my head. The drive really did help. I put the radio on some non descript station and hummed along absently to the tunes that would have been popular 40 years ago. Something about the familiarity of them calmed me down, more then I could have expected. Perhaps it was because they came from a time where I wasn't forced to go to school and if I did, then I knew there wasn't some poor human waiting for me so we could become soul mates.
As I pulled into the desolate parking lot, I had arrived an hour too early; I turned on my favourite classical tune, Clair de Lune by Debussy. Something about its lullaby like tone just pushed every amount of unease from my body more effectively then Jasper could have. I closed my eyes and let my hands wander; they found themselves on my piano at home, playing along to the tune mid air.
I mustn't have realised the amount of time passing because in what seemed no time at all (which is rare for someone like me) I heard my family's thoughts coming my way. Alice left Jasper, Rose and Emmett to go to their 'senior classes' and came over to me as I was climbing out of the car at a slow human pace.
"Hey!" She smiled and waved at me like she hadn't seen me in years and bounced her way over, playing with the strap on her giant black tote bag.
I waved and grimaced and walked over to meet her. I could already hear the student's thoughts and some of them were already gossiping.
Most of them about my car.
I had a brand spankin' new Astin Martin Vanquish, which was a total rarity in this dismally small town. It was most likely the only one. She was my baby. She was all steel grey with black interiors and drove like an insane motherfucker.
Then they saw me getting out of the car….
That's when the fantasies started.
I didn't think I had chosen anything too sexy or revealing. But apparently I was sex on legs, much to my dismay. Though I did have to admit that since I had turned into a Vampire, much of the clothes I wear were to emphasis my hourglass shape nicely, to complement me. Not like the old baggy jumpers and jeans combo I used to wear when I was a newborn…and human.
Alice's thoughts were smug as she searched the future as we walked to our first class, Double English with some middle aged man who knew nothing compared to what I did, named Mr. Banner.
We walked in and it was pretty entertaining to see the looks on people's faces as we did. There should have been some sexy heavy bass music in the background. You could have heard a pin drop it was that silent.
The onslaught of new minds were causing my head to hurt a little because I hadn't been around this many new people all at once for about 30 years. It was like someone had walked into a football stadium and gotten everyone to scream into a megaphone conveniently placed next to my ear.
The teacher and his grotesquely abhorrent thoughts sauntered over my way and showed me to my chair at the back of the class next to Alice, while he ogled my chest. As we sat down, I noticed Alice frowning at me and I whispered to her.
"What are you seeing...Al? Why aren't you letting me see it?" I spoke in a tone low enough no human could hear me.
She started blinking profusely and straightened her white blouse. Her large eyes looked at me and pouted. She looked almost betrayed.
"He's not going to be here today." Her bottom lip jutted out and she replayed what she had just seen to me.
There was a young man whose face was blurry and was lying in a bed. The room was an absolute disgrace, a total pigsty. It kind of reminded me of Emmett's room before Rosalie came along. He was lying there with his iPod in and was drawing in a sketchpad. It was a drawing of a large eye with long thick black lashes.
The eye was brown, and it cried blood.
I realized it was mine.