Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the Harry Potter franchise that's the lovely J.K. Rowling's property and I have no reason to anger her. Nor do I own Southpark or any of its franchise. I'm just a broke college student with nothing to do =D.
"Goddamnit Cartman, shut up already!"
"Just admit that us normal people are and will always be far superior to gingers, Kyle you know it's the truth"
"No it isn't you fatass! You just made that up like two minutes ago"
Stan closed his eyes and sighed, this argument had been going on for a 10 minutes and it was already getting boring. He turned to Kenny, seeing as how Kyle and Cartman were just going to keep at it for a while. "Well I'm bored, hey Kenny, wanna come to my place to play video games?"
"Sure why not?" was the mumbled reply and they headed off.
"FRED, GEORGE, WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR SISTER!"
The sound of running footsteps up the stairs and snickers were heard throughout the Burrow before the door slammed shut. The 16 year old culprits slid down the door grinning from ear to ear before turning to face each other.
"Well I must say Gred that was quite possibly our best prank yet."
"Undoubtedly Forge, now what about paying ikle Ronniekins back for messing up our experiment."
Fred turned to his twin thinking of how to scare the living daylights out of their brother. Just a harmless prank is all. Then all of a sudden, he got an idea. "How about we charm him into conjuring the weirdest things at the most annoying time?"
"And he can't undo the charm." George piped in, catching on.
"Until a week's end-"
"Or until he fesses up about dumping crap in our cauldron-"
"Which will never happen-"
"So we're in an accord,-"
"Operation Ronniekins is set-"
"Tonight, before dinner-"
"Our plan will be set into motion." They nodded sagely.
Later that night, Ron was playing a game of wizarding chess with Percy with a smug look on his face. No one understood why Percy started the game to begin with; Ron's head was big enough beating everyone around him at the game. Ron's smirk got bigger when Percy moved his knight. Then being the kind and thoughtful brother he was, he decided to end the game. Percy had been losing for the last hour and a half and he was getting hungry. Ron moved his queen right in front of Percy's king. "Check and mate" he proclaimed, grinning like an idiot. "You're getting better though" Percy gave him a disdainful look.
"When did you figure out how to beat me?" Percy asked his eyebrow raised.
Ron's smile got bigger, "When we started the game"
Percy was about to comment when their mother called them to dinner. Ron jumped up running to the dinner table. Percy sighed and banished the chess set to his room before going to the table. He really had to get out of here; he almost had enough money for the down-payment for his new flat but was still saving up for the first couple of monthly payments.
When he got to his chair at the table he felt a spell fly past him and onto Ron who was sitting across from him. Turning, he saw one of the twin's head disappear and the other sitting next to him, innocently. Looking back to Ron who didn't seem to realize that a spell had been cast at him, Percy was torn. He should tell him about the twins' apparently new prank but at the same time he was kind of annoyed with Ron's attitude at chess and still sore about losing again. Shrugging, he didn't say a thing. He can figure out what the twins did on his own this time.
Fred shuffled next to George looking at Percy in shock. When did Percy not reprimand them about pranking Ron? He turned to his twin in confusion, who just shrugged. Maybe he was annoyed about the chess game the two were playing earlier. Oh well, it worked in their favor.
Ron went to grab another chicken leg but grabbed his wand instead. Confused he went to put it back in his pocket when all off a sudden he shouted, "Accio Trolley guy". He dropped his wand thinking he was possessed when all of a sudden a very fat boy in winter clothes fell on top of the dining table.
Percy was first to react and bound the intruder. He looked at the boy wondering why he was wearing a red winter jacket, yellow gloves and a blue snow cap in the middle of summer. His wand pointing to the boy he asked, "Who are you and where did you come from?"
Cartman was having a very bad day. First Kyle was refusing to admit that normal people were in fact better then gingers. Then Stan and Kenny left to play video games and didn't invite him. Then he was pulled into a very long tunnel and was dropped onto a table. A table surrounded by gingers. And to top it all off he was tied up and one of the gingers with some stupid looking glasses was pointing a weird stick at him.
"What the hell are you going to do with that stick, you stupid ginger?" The bespectacled boy looked at him like he was from another world. "And why can't a move my arms or legs?" Now Cartman was getting very pissed off. "Goddamnit, tell me what's going on, you devil worshipping, cock sucking, ginger!"
Molly stood up affronted, "Now see here young man, there is no reason for such language."
Cartman turned to her pissed off. "I can say whatever the fuck I want, this is a free country. Now tell me what the fuck is going on!"
Molly folded her arms, "Not before you clean your mouth young man. I will not stand foul language at this table. Apologize to everyone at this table."
Cartman didn't even know why he was on a table anyways. Let alone a table full of gingers. He just wanted to go home and play video games and have his mom make him dinner. Sighing, he struggled to sit up while glaring at everyone at the table before he noticed a non-ginger. Thank you God, for sending me this blessing. "Hey, hey you." The brunet looked at him curiously. "Thank god there's a normal person here. Can you help me out, please?"
Harry, who had arrived at The Burrow about halfway through Ron and Percy's chess game, raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean by normal?" Apparently, the kid was from the muggle world. Non-wizarding America to be precise, if his assumption was correct. But it was odd how he was talking about normal when he was wearing winter clothes in the middle of summer. Last time he checked, America was still in the northern hemisphere.
"You know, a normal person like you and me. A normal non-ginger." Did Cartman have to spell it out for him? He looked at the brunet contemplating why he wasn't helping him out. He must be a filthy Jew then. "What are you a fucking Jew, help me out a bit over here!"
Harry was not impressed. Where did he get off insulting everyone at the table when he is the one tied up? That's a great way to ask for help. And asking help from someone he considered normal, oh how Harry hated that word, normal. This brat was reminding him more and more of Dudley. Certainly looks and acts like the whale. "First off, I'm not a Jew, nor have I met any who would deserve being treated like that. Second, what's wrong with red-heads, they are regular people, if anything else, they are more normal than you because they aren't going around insulting others just because they look different then you." He pulled out his wand and undid the jinx. It was obvious the kid was harmless, just a snot-nosed punk. Well he is an American.
Cartman looked at his hands "Oh that is so much better." Jumping off the table and onto the floor he turned to his savior. "Thank you so much, we normal people have to look out for each other's backs." Glancing at the gingers suspiciously, he added "You never know what those gingers will do to you next."
"Now see here young man, we do not condone discrimination in this house! Now apologize to everyone here!" Molly chastised the young boy.
Cartman looked at the woman and said curtly, "No"
"What did you just say young man?"
Now Cartman was getting angry again. "No, I said no you cock sucking ginger bitch. I can say whatever the hell I want and you can't do a thing abou-" he was cut off mid-sentence when his mouth was filled with soapy water after the crazy lady pointed a stick at him. When it wore off he shouted "What the fuck did you do to me you crazy bitch! What the hell is going on here and what the hell are those goddamn sticks for! I just wanna go home!" He stomped his foot but it never hit the floor before he fell into a tunnel again, screaming his head off. Suddenly he was on solid ground again, more specifically his bed. "Oh bed, I never thought I'd see you again." He hugged his bed and hopped out of his room to go to dinner. He sighed contently; his mom cooked him his favorite meal, just like he asked her to.
Back at The Burrow, everyone looked at Arthur who banished the foul-mouthed boy. He calmly went back to his delicious dinner while motioning for everyone to resume eating. When everyone started eating again, Ron pulled out his wand again accio-ing a penguin. This was getting a little suspicious, considering Ron didn't even know Accio to begin with. He thought it was probably the twins causing trouble but Molly would reprimand them later, when she was done muttering about foul-mouthed boys ruining her wonderful dinner.
Author's note: forgive me this is my first ficcy =3 and it's just a lil drabble. Flames shall heat my marsh-mellows to make s'mores. Oh and before I forget, I have no ill-will to Jews, Red-heads, or any others that may be offended by Cartman's potty mouth =)