2Warning: swearing, fighting, (might have yaoi.)
Weasley, Hermione, Dumbledore bashing! A.U.
Humour. O.o.c-ness. Multiple deaths.
Random-ness. Pranks. Supernatural. Stupidity
Explosions. Insanity. M-rated for later chapters.
~Thinking. ~ 'Speaking.' 'Japanese.' #singing. #
I don`t own Harry Potter…
Or Orochimaru, but I do own my O.C Loki! ^_\)
Harry`s P.O.V. set in 5th year.
Chapter 1
I`m not your friend now!
I glare at my so-called friends. Earlier, I had found them bitching about me! Ever since I found out about the glamours, knowledge and power blocks that was put onto me and destroyed it, Ron had been such a total prick! It wasn`t my fault, that I now was an Orochimaru-look-a-like (1). And don`t get me started on that know-it-all cow. I wanted to get back at them so badly- wait! That fox-boy from the city! He said "If anybody gives ya grief, send `em my way and they`ll wish they was never born!" I`m glad I ran into him last summer. He hated the way I looked, so he O.D`ed me on a ton of strength and healing potions, trained me until I was able to smash through rocks and trees with little to no effort, and to top it all off, I live with him now.
'Time to give a certain fox a visit…' I grinned darkly, as I ditched the back-stabbers, damn, not as easy as I thought it would be, they`re like a disease.
Somewhere else…
A fox boy with orange hair stood on the edge of Hogwarts castle. He smirked darkly, and jumped off the spire he was perched on and enjoyed the feel of wind whistling through his hair…
'Harry! Where are you going?' Ron shouted, as he and Hermione ran after the pale raven teen. (Me)
'Outside! So stop bloody following me like mind-less sheep! Trash!' I spat at him, walking out faster. ~Where did the "trash" thing come from, I`m behaving more like Orochimaru now, oh, well I`ll live. ~ I mused, my robes billowing like a certain potions master and put on a cold smirk, I saw him.
'OH HI THAAARRR! Harrichimaru! (2)' the orange teen shouted, running right at the former Golden Trio and glomped me. Ron and Hermione stared at us, too shocked to talk. Yaoi moment, heh.
'Hi Loki! Nice to see you too!' I grinned, talking in Loki`s neck, Loki laughed as he tried to grope me.
'Sooo, Harrichimaru…how`s life? And yes my hair is naturally orange, so don`t call me a ginger-bread man again!' I laughed at the ginger comment.
'Okay…gingie! (3)' I grinned, tucking a long strand of hair behind my pierced ear. Loki grabbed my hand and dragged me away from the Quiddich pitch and closer to the Forbidden Forest, and then he decided to drag me towards the Lake.
'When did you get those done?' the flame-haired teen asked me as he admired the earrings. (The 1s Orochimaru used to wear.)
'Ages ago! It doesn`t hurt anymore.' I replied.
'You look like a child version of Orochimaru, but with black robes and green eyes!' Loki snorted, making me thump him on the shoulder.
'Ow! No, really. You do, you sure you`re not his long-lost too many greats grand-son?' he asked. I shrugged in reply before I realised the irony.
'No idea…I is thinking bout an ancestry check. Hell, I might be related to the guy, judging on my gorgeous good looks!' I cackled as Loki shook me, yelling: "Noo! Harrichimaru! No! No! Don`t go in the light! …You`ll fall and break your hip!"
'Kukukuku! I will learn every technique and rule the world!' I cried out, still laughing like a mad-man. Loki jumped on me, still yelling his head off.
'Nooo! Don`t let him take your body like all the other children before you! Orochimaru! I won`t let you steal Harrichimaru from me! I got him 1st!' Loki yelled, as we both fell like a sack of potatoes.
'What`s going on here?' Ron screeched, making us sober up very quickly and realize in what kind of position we were in. Loki was sat on my groin, and the other students looked horrified at what me and the new transfer student Loki Sonozaki was doing.
'Oh, hehe! Hello weasel!' Loki grinned getting off of me, I giggle before stopping myself cackling.
'What do you want Weasley? Can`t you see that Loki and I was busy?' I asked, glaring at the red-head. Loki`s neon yellow eyes stared into my emerald green slitted 1s. The duo (me and Loki) picked up our fallen bags. Hermione ran up to us.
'Plus, I`m not yours or Hermione`s friend now, so nyaah!' I said childishly, sticking out my dark tongue, and dragged Loki away from them.
'Y`know, we could just hide somewhere, and then spy on them. Like what you told me what they did to you…Harrichimaru, got a plan?' Loki asked, slightly tilting his head, as my evil grin got bigger.
'Oh, yes! Say, Loki Sonozaki?'
'That`s me.'
'Will you join me in turning this world into chaos?'
'You had me at join…I should call you Scar.' Loki said, grabbing a lock of my hair and stroking it.
'Why Scar?' I asked, still conscious of my scar that Voldemort gave me when I was a baby.
'Cuz you got the coolest scar I`ve ever seen, and I`ve seen a lot of scars.' Loki reassured me.
'Okay, and let go of my hair!' I murmured, wanting my hair back from the place that is Loki`s hand.
'Why? It`s sooo soft and it feels like cashmere!' he gushed, rubbing his face on it, making my face heat up. Loki started purring, his fox-ears twitching.
'R-really? Is it that soft?' I asked, feeling my hair to test that theory Loki had came up with.
'Yeah…' he said, still purring. I smacked his hand away from me, making him yelp in shock.
'Stop raping my hair!' I shouted at him, Loki laughed before he started to braid his hair with mine. (His hair was about shoulder-length, mine went down to the middle of my back.)
'Sooo, anybody caught your fancy, Harrichimaru?' Loki asked me. I stared at the braid: black and orange. If only we had a bit of silvery blonde…
'Oi, Potter!' a snarky voice called. I looked over to see Draco Malfoy with his Slytherin cronies. Loki stared, as I bit my lip and undid the braid.
'Eh? "Potter"? Oh, oh! Aha! That`s the dude you was telling me bout! Hehe! Hi! I`m Loki Sonozaki! I`ve heard so much of you!' Loki cried as he jumped at Malfoy. I grabbed the back of his robes before he knocked the poor- poor? I mean rich kid over, and seriously harm him in the process.
'Hey! Harrichimaru! I wanna glomp him!' Loki whined as I held him back. ~So glad I took ninja training. ~ I mused. Loki shook out of my grip.
'Been talking about me Potter?' he called, I merely shrugged, before I shook hair out of my face and smiled at him, I noticed Loki circling us.
'Maybe…I have a…proposition for you.' I smiled wider at him. Malfoy walked up to me.
'What, could you ever offer to me, Potter. And where`s Granger and the weasel?' he replied, I shrugged again at him, Loki paused in mid-step.
'I do not need those worth-less pieces of trash around me…and, I`m wondering…whether if you wish to be my friend…' I trailed, hoping he got it and still wanted to have my friend-ship.
'What`s with this? You better not be doing this for some personal joke.' Malfoy told me coldly, Loki let out a crazed laugh, and it made me giggle a bit.
'No, listen Malfoy…if you don`t wanna be my friend, then at least keep out of my way when I crush all who oppose me. I`ll make sure you live, yeah? I`ll even toss in a couple of things…like say, dark, illegal spells and curses…' I said in a soft voice, so the other students don`t hear me.
'…Hmm. I`ll think about it.' he replied curtly, before walking away. I rolled my eyes and tugged Loki`s arm so we could get to our Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson.
'Let`s go, I found out that the new teacher was hand-picked by the ministry…who thinks that there is no Voldemort at large and think everything`s all hunky-dory.' I told him, as we walked down the corridors, Loki laughed in that crazy way of his.
'I predict a riot!' he smirked, before he started singing "I Predict a Riot – by Kaiser Chiefs.
'No, I think this song is better! #I feel it deep within, it`s just beneath the skin, I must confess that I feel like a monster! I hate what I've become, the nightmare`s just begun, I must confess that I feel like a monster! #' I sang as we opened the door, only to be met by cold silence.
'Gambunta?' Loki whispered in shock, I snorted before we both walked to our seats.
'Nah, no where near as sexy that big boy…' I told him with a straight face. The reaction was price-less: he stared at me as if I had just told him that Hulk had an affair with Santa! I just did…eww…
'Wh-what? Man that is naaaasty! (5) Ugh! Gross!' he cringed, as I burst out laughing.
'PAHAHAHAHAHAA! Look at your face! Hahahahaha!' I gasped out, before falling out of my chair. Yeah, I laughed that hard.
'What is the meaning of this? Explain yourselves!' the toad-like woman? No, that is not a woman, or man, that…is a freak of nature…worth-less trash.
'Uhh, Harrichimaru just told me something that will make sure I will never sleep again. And now I hope he hasn`t reverted back to his former self…' Loki told it before shuffling his parchment.
'Former self?' it asked, the great slimy, ugly mass was looking down at me! Suddenly, I was hit with a brilliant idea: I felt my lips twist into a sinister grin. The kind of grin you`ll find from the Cheshire Cat in the Alice in Wonderland books. As I sat on the floor, the trash introduced, calling itself "Professor Umbridge". I doubt that Loki could even hold in a few insults at the way it was telling the students that there was no "Dark Lord" wait…what? Oh, it`s beef-jerky now!
I read a few stories when Harry is like Orochimaru, but I wanted to do it too! I hope I didn`t rip another story off!
A mix of the names: Harry and Orochimaru.
We call 1 of my college friends that. (he`s ginger btw! XD)
It`s from Family Guy…Cleveland says it.
Yeah, my lousy attempt at a Harry Potter fic, please review! DX