5Why I Hate the Guidelines
Due to the fact that posting something on must mean it has to be a fan-fiction I have decided to make this an interview with random people from random series interviewing me. DON'T ASK WHY!
GROVER: Hello, Iris. It's wonderful to have you on our show today.
IRIS (ME): Oh that means so much to me!
KRONOS: Speak for yourself goat-boy! Any fan of Percy's is an enemy of mine. *Glares at audience*
Flashing sign that directs the audience to do something (let's just call it Sign): Laugh
(A/N: The audience always mimics Sign)
I: *Scootches away from Kronos*
G: Sooo, Iris, I heard that you've been having some issues with the guidelines for .
I: Well, Grover. This is most certainly true.
G: What have these issues been?
K: NO ONE GIVES A DAMN!
Sign: Laugh
K: *growls*
I: No matter how many times I read and reread the guidelines and check off the "Yes, I have read and agreed to the content guidelines", every time I try to upload anything, I have to click it again.
G: *playing cat's cradle* Sounds very interesting.
Sign: Laugh
I: How is that funny?
K: I don't know, you wrote it.
Sign: Laugh
I: What the heck! That's not even funny!
G: *throws cat's cradle behind him* Okay then! Let's move on!
I: But the sign! It-
G: Why do you hate…*pausing for dramatic affect*… "your shift key"?
I: My WHAT!
Sign: Laugh
K: *points at audience with evil glare* SHUT UP! IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!
G: *suddenly has a French mustache* Oh contraire, Monsieur!
Sign: Laugh
K: OH MY GOD!
G: *in very feminine voice* In your case it would be Olympians or Gawds!
K: DON'T RUBE IT IN GOAT BOY!
G: *suddenly shirtless with boxing gloves and shorts* YOU WANNA FIGHT KID!
K: *in similar ensemble* PREPARE TO DIE!
I: WHAT THE HECK! *hiding under coffee table*
Background: Flushing toilet.
Everyone pauses, perplexed.
Sign: Laugh
K: GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
The Joker walks in background, toilet paper trailing form his shoe.
Joker: Wh~y soo serious? *walks up to K* Let's put a smi~ile on that face of yours!
K: * glares*
J: *holds up knife, smiling*
K: *punches J sending him flying off stage*
Sign: Laugh
K: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
G: EXACTLY!
I: *still under table* WHAT THE HELL!
Off Stage: GROVER!
G: Ye~es! *feminine voice again*
Percy walks on stage. Audience erupts into applause. Multiple shouts of "Oh my gawds! It's Percy Jackson!" and "Percy, I love you!"
P: *waves sheepishly*
I: *crawls out from under table*
G: Make it quick, I'm about to defeat Kronos! *takes up fighting stance*
P: Didn't I already do that?
G: Yes! But this time Kronos will be defeated not as a Titan but as my CO-HOST!
P: Co-host!
G: IT WAS HER IDEA! *points at me*
P: So you're the writer of this. It's good to meet you. *shakes hand*
I: *blushes* Oh I'm a really big fan of your series.
P: Lot of people are. *turns to G* Grover!
G: Ye~es!
P: Perhaps it's time that you finish unveiling your plan.
K: What plan?
G: Yes, thank you number 2.
K: Number 2?
G: Ladies and gentlemen, my plan is- Scottie Do!
K: SCOTTIE-DO?
P: Oh, come on! You're such a lame ass!
K: WFT!
I: Shhh! Just watch! *says while shoving popcorn in mouth* Whant shum? (Want some?)
K: *glares* *shoves popcorn in mouth*
G: Mini-me aime chocolat! (Mini-me likes chocolate!)
K: *stares in horror, popcorn falling out of mouth*
G: POP! (popping noise you can made with lips)
P: *glares*
G: Scottie ne pas! (Scottie don't)
K: WHO DA HELL IS SCOTTIE?
P: Ooooohhhhhh
G: Ooooohhhhhh *vacant stare*
P: Ooooohhhhhh
G: Ooooohhhhhh *shrugs*
P: Ooooohhhhhh
G: Oohhggg *turns into groan*
P: Yeah, I'll just-
G: UGH! DUH! *INTERRUPTION*
P: Oh, so we'll just-
G: UBA GUBA DUH! *vacant look*
P: You know this is causing me serious physiological harm!
Sign: Laugh
In this span of time Iris and Kronos are shoveling popcorn into their mouths, giggling. (Yes, even the Titan Lord giggles)
K: Only time it's expectable! (Anything causing pain to Percy is funny to him)
G: You can leave now… *points off stage*
…..AWKWARD PAUSE…
P: Okay *exits*
G: *sits back in chair with physiatrists' outfit and glasses* So what is your dilemma with "your shift key"?
Sign: Laugh
K: GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! *flips over coffee table in fit of anger*
Sign: If you're happy and you know it clap your hand!
Everyone claps except Kronos including Grover, Iris, the Joker, and Percy. (Joker and Percy off-stage)
K: STOP CLAPPING!
Sign: If you're happy and you know it stomp your feet!
Same as the clapping incident. Percy and Joker come on stage.
K: STOP STOMPING!
Sign: If you're happy and you know it shout OHLAY!
Everyone shouts!
K: GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! *pulls out scythe and cuts down sign*
Everything goes quiet except the sound of electricity buzzing from the wires.
K: *panting heavily with evil glare on face*
Percy and Joker start scribbling something in the background. Holds up sign that says laugh!
Everyone laughs!
K: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I'LL KILL YOU!
P: I'd like to see you try!
K: *chucks scythe at Percy's head*
P: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! *ducks, scythe hits Joker, he falls to the ground dead*
G: Well that's all the time we have for today so see you next time! *background: Joker is dead on the floor, Kronos is chasing Percy swinging the scythe and knocking over the props on stage, Percy is laughing, I'm running after them with a pen and paper writing it all down, Grover smiles dumbly into the camera as the audience laughs and applauses*