Separating Fact from Fiction

Chapter 10

Act 1, Part 8

(I do not own Harry Potter or A Very Potter Musical)

(Bold is the musical)


The stage was dark as the piano let out a loud and rambunctious melody. The only thing on the stage was the large black box that was under the spotlight.

It wasn't long before Quirrel and Voldemort staggered in, their turban missing. Quirrel looked winded as he tried to drag and support Voldemort, who was a slouching with a merry smile on his face, back to their quarters. It was clear that Voldemort was in fact, very drunk.

Voldemort let out a low continuous chuckle as he closed in eyes and grinned widely. Quirrel looked tipsy and tired as he tried to keep Voldemort from falling over.

"This'll be fun," Harry chuckled to himself, already imagining the mayhem and secrets that will unleash when he would open his mouth.

"I thought walking home drunk was hard before," Quirrel admitted, swaying side to side as one of his arms was on his back, trying to keep Voldemort from falling over, though he didn't have much success as the top of Voldemort's head was just at the bottom of Quirrel's neck.

"Oh, a drunk Voldemort. This is great," Ron laughed loudly along with the others.

"Hehehe," Voldemort slurred, his eyes closed as he struggled to stay upright, making Quirrel halt and turn his head to listen to what his master was going to say.

"I didn't know Voldemort could get drunk," James said, watching Voldemort make a fool of himself.

"He was human just like we are," Ginny told him. "Just much more bizarre, a madman, and probably had a fetish for little boys."

"Ginny!" Hermione gaped. "Don't say that in front of the children!"

"It's true though," Draco shrugged. "First Potter and even Longbottom, then me, maybe Professor Snape. If Potter didn't defeat him, I dread who would be next."

"Besides," Al shrugged, "we've heard worse things."

Lily giggled, "Remember when Uncle Ron yelled the "B" and "F" word after he tripped down the stairs."

"Ronald!" Hermione yelled, admonish. "How could you? Even in front of Lily!"

"I was six!" Lily yelled indignantly.

"Even the more reason!" Hermione shouted.

"She's treating me like a little girl!" Lily pouted to Harry.

"To be fair, you are one," Harry replied.

"Meanie," Lily frowned, turning away from her father and to her mother.

"Yeah, yeah, we should've realized that with both of us drinking into one belly we get, twice as drunk," Voldemort chuckled, the side of his head resting on Quirrel's, who was smiling, his eyes shining, shoulder.

"Someone should test that theory," Teddy said, glancing at Scorpius.

"Oh, I'm not letting you attach yourself to me. Magical means, muggles means, or a mixtures of both. No thank you," Scorpius scoffed, inching closer to Al.

"Aw, you're a stick in a mud," Teddy frowned, elbowing Scorpius in the gut, making him double over.

Teddy repeatedly blinked his amber eyes before he shrugged, "Oops. Forgot you were a scrawny git."

Scorpius muttered something darkly under his breath as he clutched his stomach tightly as if it would roll away from his body if he let go.

Voldemort let out a weak laugh as Quirrel absentmindedly smiled; swaying back and forth because of Voldemort's rocking motion.

"Hey Quirrel!" Voldemort burst out, eyes closed as he leaned back, making Quirrel lean forward.

"Yeah?" Quirrel inquired.

"Quirrel!" Voldemort repeated, lurching forward as Quirrel stood upright. "Quirrel, Quirr- Quir- Quirrell- Quirrell, Quirrell- Quirrel- Quirrel—You remember that girl you were talking to?"

The Potter kids and Malfoy kid chuckled at Voldemort's slurred, repetitive speech.

Voldemort immediately snapped his eyes open as he let out a drunk smiled.

"Yeah," Quirrel said, smiling fondly.

"You remember that girl you were talking to while I was talking to her sister on my side?" Voldemort drawled, still resting his head at the back of Quirrel's head.

"Voldemort can pick up a chick!" Ron blinked, surprised at what was Voldemort was saying.

"At least Voldemort can actually pick up a chick," Ginny snorted quietly, remembering how Ron's first girlfriend was the one who kissed him and Ron's last girlfriend (his second one) was the one who made a move on him.

Quirrel seemed to have a revelation as he opened his mouth widely and gaped while Voldemort snapped his eyes shut and stuck his tongue out as he laughed quietly.

"Oh! So that's why she freaked out when she stood up!" Quirrel exclaimed while Voldemort let out a weak, raspy chuckle.

"Because they didn't we were—," Voldemort laughed as he and Quirrel finished together, "One person!"

"That's horrible!" Lily frowned.

"It sounds like something Fred and George would do," Harry commented.

"That's something that Fred and George did do," Ron said dryly. "They keep switching up on Angelina and Katie during the Yule Ball."

"That's barbaric!" Hermione gasped.

"You should say that to Angelina when she found at that Fred and George were switching on them. She kneed them both so hard that I heard they couldn't play Quidditch for a whole week." Ron said with a slight pained expression.

"I'm remembered that," Harry winced."Wood was really mad when they refused to sit on their brooms properly so he forced them down really hard. I couldn't believe the sounds of agony they made. I think everybody in the castle heard them."

"That was them?" Draco said, widening his eyes. "I thought an animal died! I hoped it was a Blast-Ended Skewrt!"

The two guffawed loudly, letting out joyous smiles, the corners of their eyes crinkling while Quirrel clapped his hands together in remembrance. While Quirrel's laughter died down quickly, Voldemort's didn't as he snorted and threw his head back and forth in laughter, his mouth wide.

The two began to bend backward and forward as Voldemort stuck his tongue out and tried to laugh at the same time, making an odd hollow noise.

"Y'know," Quirrel said, bringing his hands to the side after the two calmed down (Voldemort looked like he was about to pass out as he gurgled his own spit), "I haven't had this much fun since Nearly Headless Nick's—Dick's—Nick's Deathday party of '91."

James snickered while Ron, Harry, and Hermione were confused.

"Was he really there?" Ron asked.

"Of course not," Hermione scoffed. "I'm pretty sure we would see him there in a full room of translucent ghosts."

"She's got a point Ron," Harry nodded.

"Question is, why were you their?" Draco asked, eying the three of them with distaste.

"I was invited because my house ghost actually liked me," Harry smirked, making Draco growl at him.

Quirrel nodded as Voldemort continued to giggle like a school girl, his head thrown back.

"Yeah," Voldemort chortled. "I haven't had this much fun since, uh, yeah, well shit! I don't remember ever having this much fun!"

"I can think of many things he could have a fun time doing," Scorpius said.

"You mean shuffleboard, parasailing, mini golf, bunjee jumping and eating at an all-you-can-eat buffet?" James asked innocently.

"More like torture, killing, plotting out people's deaths, especially Uncle Harry's , and doing pleasurable activities with Bellatrix Lestrange." Teddy drawled

"Spot on, Teddy," Ginny nodded in agreement.

Quirrel wasn't laughing anymore, but instead looked serious as Voldemort let out a wheezy giggle, missing Quirrel's solemn expression.

"You never had fun, ever? Doing, doing anything?" Quirrel enunciated, ignoring Voldemort's barks of random laughter.

"That's such a horrible life," James sighed,

Quirrel glanced behind him, trying to look at the now quiet Voldemort.

Quirrel said, "Maybe that's why you're so evil."

"Yeah, maybe," Voldemort drawled, making a show of rolling his eyes. "Definitely to do with the fact that muggles and mudbloods make me sick to my stomach!"

Some people laughed quietly, but the muggles and mudbloods comment made it not as amusing as it could've been with that comment.

"But, uh," Voldemort continued, not really believing what he was going to say himself. "Haha, yeah, I guess you could be right, I guess."

"So if you have no friends, you'll turn into a madman like Voldemort?" James asked.

"Not neces—" Harry said, looking at his oldest oddly.

"I hope you turn out well, Al," James told al sympathetically, patting the younger boys shoulder.

"Shuddup," Al muttered, jerking away. "Scorp's my friend."

"Well—" Scorpius bit his lip, shiftily looking away.

"Mate," Al gritted out, "not funny."

Scorpius waved him off," I was just yanking your wand."

"Kinky," Teddy giggled, winking at the younger boys.

"Gross!" Al and Scorpius yelled out together, nearly bolting away from each other while Ginny scolded Teddy for being immature.

Voldemort's cheek was pressed onto Quirrel's shoulder as Quirrel looked at him sympathetically.

"I mean,"-Voldemort snorted-"I guess it's kind of funny," Voldemort muttered to himself, though Quirrel still heard since they were in close proximity of each other.

"What is it, Voldemort?" Quirrel inquired, looking interested in what Voldemort was going to say next.

"They sound like lovers," Teddy smirked, waggling his eyebrows.

"Teddy, no," Ginny sighed, shaking her head. "Just, just no."

Teddy pouted, "It could be true."

"I don't think mum wants to hear about it," Lily added, glancing at her mums twitching expression.

Teddy shrugged, "Fine, but it still doesn't mean it's not true."

"Teddy," Harry warned.

"Sorry Uncle Harry," Teddy grumbled.

Voldemort blinked in surprise, "Oh, it's just that I never—I never— I never really ever…I never really ever—really ever considered another reason for me be being so evil, you know?"

"Yeah, he just discovered the joys of killing and has been hooked to being evil since," Scorpius commented dryly.

Voldemort shrugged carelessly, "Cause normally I just, uh, I just kill people who try and get me to open up, you know?"

Quirrel didn't looked surprised as Voldemort made a big show of rolling his eyes and shaking his head, "Oops! But it'sa, it'sa kind nice to just, um—it's kind nice to just talk…"

Very few people laughed, for most people knew that Voldemort indeed liked to kill rather than talk.

"I'm taking a liking to this new Voldemort, he's sentimental," Harry admitted with a laugh. "Much better than the actual one."

"Yeah," Quirrel said, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.

Quirrel took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "You know, I kinda have to admit, I was kind of nervous when you first demanded that you attach yourself to my soul."

"Yeah, yeah I can see that," Voldemort nodded in understanding.

Teddy shifted his gaze to the youngest Malfoy.

"Are you sure you don't want me to attach myself to your soul? It'll be fun," Teddy whined.

"Oh god no," Scorpius spat out. "That's revolting."

"Git," Teddy accused.

Ron glanced at Draco warily, "I know where he gets it from."

"But like, now I think it's, it's kinda cool," Quirrel smiled. "It's like having a really close roommate or even a—"

"Yeah, like a slave," Voldemort interjected, chuckling darkly. "Like a, like a, like a death eater."

"No it's not like that," Hermione huffed amidst the chuckles of Voldemort's twisted, sinister mind. "That's degrading."

"Deal with it, 'Mione," Ginny said, shaking her head.

"No man!" Quirrel exclaimed, adopting a dreamy expression. "It's like…having a friend!"

"Because friends are constantly on the back of your head, leeching off your soul, and slowly taking your life all while giving them a hard time," Al chuckled.

Voldemort's eyes were wide in surprise as Quirrel snuggled into his head.

"I've never had a friend before," Voldemort admitted softly, looking very serious than before.

"Really," Harry said, rolling his eyes, "I had absolutely no idea."

Quirrel gave a crooked smile as he snuggled deeper and said softly, "Well looks like you got one now."

Lily squealed, her hands clutched in front of her chest, "How cute!"

"How do you find this cute?" James asked, squinting his eyes through his glasses. "More like disgusting."

Voldemort looked abash as he closed his eyes and the two cuddle together. Voldemort let out a high pitched giggle and a dreamy smile as the two snuggled.

Ron put both of his calloused hands around his throat, ducked his head and pretended to barf, causing Harry to laugh and Hermione to roll her eyes at their immaturity, but was smiling nether the less.

"Who would've thought," Voldemort smiled dreamily, his eyes half open while Quirrel's weren't even open at all, "at the beginning of this year, that we'd feel like that for each other?..."

"I certainly didn't," Draco snorted.

Ginny giggled, "You were too busy stressing about your character."

At Draco's twitch, it was easy to see that Ginny's assumption was correct.

Voldemort continued after he trailed off, "I guess everything is different between us now, huh?"

"Bleck," Al spat out, wrinkling in his nose.

Quirrel didn't answer immediately and instead sung softly as he stopped cuddling with Voldemort,

"I guess it's plain to see
when you look at you and me,"-he pointed to Voldemort then himself-
"We're different
as can be…"

The two were now swaying with the beat, though Voldemort still had his eyes closed.

"We simply guarantee," They sang together as Quirrel extended his arms widely, though Voldemort's voice was a little throaty as he continued to lean on Quirrel so his neck was at a sixty degree angle.

"When you're looking at you and me
were different
as can be."

"He's singing much more weirder now that he's drunk," Scorpius observed.

"Do you got some personal vendetta against Voldemort or something?" Lily asked albeit harshly.

"No," Scorpius shrugged. "He's the easiest one to pick on without getting maimed."

Quirrel sang, putting his hands up,

"It's a comedy of sorts
when you're bound to Voldemort…"

"A barrel of laughs," Draco snorted.

"And I'm happy as a squirrel
Long as I'm with Mr. Quirrell," Voldemort sang, gurgling during the whole thing.

Scorpius nodded defiantly, "See, Lily?"

"I guess you're right, "Lily grumbled. "But only when he's drunk."

"Sure," Scorpius said, tight lipped, obviously not believing in what she has said.

"We'll lead em to the slaughter
and well murder Harry Potter," They sang together, sounding excited as Quirrel wildly flailed his arms,

"Why is there enjoyment in life trying to kill me?" Harry absentmindedly asked.

"Because it's their favorite pastime, including mine, " Draco shrugged.

"We're different
Different, different
as can be!"

Voldemort let out an excited laugh at Quirrel jauntily strode off the stage just as the lights flashed before it dimmed, music played, and the play again box showed along with the related videos.

"A drunk Voldemort," Ginny sighed. "Has the world gone mad?"

"The world went mad several decades ago," Teddy pointed out. "I think it had to do something with global warming but I'm not entirely sure."

"I thought the world went mad when pop singers such as Britney Spears and drunk actresses like Lindsey Lohan along with popular boy bands like the Back Street Boys started to change their world with their insane antics," Lily frowned.

"Americans are mad, I tell you, mad," Al sighed, shaking his head.

"I actually really don't care," Harry said, clicking the next video in the series.

"You don't care if we might die because of global warming?" Scorpius gasped.

"Or if Americans might influence out way of thinking with catchy pop songs and booze?" James pressed on his father, giving him a critical eye.

"Hush James," Hermione said. "The video is starting."


Probably the shortest chapter that included a video. Sorry about that but I've been a bit busy with some school work and such. I hope you enjoyed reading the story but now, I must go to sleep!

I'm sorry about the long wait, but I'm on the yearbook commitee now and I'm working on my interview story and the semester is picking up so I basically had no time to write this. If I wanted to post this earlier, It would mean the video would just be in script form and that just bugs me and I know that my readers prefer the way I write. Honestly, I prefer this way too. I'll probably post the next chapter during March, maybe later. Sorry in advance but my grandmother is staying during March and in April, my cousin, her mom, and my grandpa will be staying so I'll probably be very busy.

I'd just would like to say thank you very much for all the reviews! Wooh! Over a hundred reviews. I'd never thought I would get such a great response. Just like I said in the previous chapter, vote on the poll on my profile if you would like a sequel or not. I'd just like to say thanks to all of my faithful readers.

On a gLee~ related note, does anyone else feel proud of Kurt the way he handled the situation with Blaine. Blaine is getting character development! Yay! Also, Thriller/Heads Will Roll was amazing, also When I Get You Alone and Take Me or Leave Me. I can't wait for Blaine It On The Alcohol on Tuesday! I'm inwardly squealing!

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