Discern and Perceive

Chapter Two

Enjoy

X-_X-_X

"Are you sure you don't want some coffee, Cagalli?" Milly asked, carefully setting her own mug down and then flopping down onto the floor next to Cagalli.

"Hot chocolate's fine," Cagalli said evenly. Milly's fireplace was small, but they both fit in front of it, sitting on a dusty throw rug. Cagalli hazarded a look at her best friend, the flames casting silly shadows across both their faces.

"Are you happy here, Milly?"

Miriallia looked up in surprise, her lips poised on her coffee mug. "Of course I am."

Cagalli nodded, leaning her back against the bottom of Miriallia's faded two person couch. They'd come back from the bar right away, and as soon as they'd walked through the door Miriallia had tried to distract Cagalli by showing her to the guest room and Cagalli had tried to do the same by claiming that she was tired.

Eventually they'd both simply ended up in the kitchen, Milly making Hot Chocolate and Coffee. Now they were seated on Milly's living room floor, the easy silence that had always existed between them was murky at best.

Milly had shaken off the odd question, taking a moment to truly look at her friend. Cagalli's amber eyes were barely visible in the dim light of the room, but the taut way that her lips were pressed said enough. Cagalli had always been expressive, and if she wanted silence for once then Milly would give it to her.

Miriallia forced a mock exasperated tone to her voice "Honestly, you're a chocoholic."

Cagalli had the good grace to smile faintly, but all she did was take a long sip of the sweet drink and steel her nerves before opening her mouth to say "You know, you can just ask me."

"Ask you what?"

Cagalli rolled her eyes "That is too clichéd, Milly."

The response caused Milly to laugh, and after a moment her tone sobered "I know, but Cagalli we really don't have to talk about it if you don't want to…I saw how much whatever this is must affect you."

Cagalli's mouth only grew grimmer "I can't believe I reacted the way I did, dropping my glass like that. I must have looked like a fool."

Milly rushed to say otherwise "Of course you didn't, and they're good people they'll under—,"

Cagalli laughed. "You're a great friend, Milly."

Milly let a breath out and smiled, and then bumped her shoulder in to Cagalli's. "You're being especially soulful tonight."

Cagalli waved a hand through the air, grinning at Milly "I don't know what you mean."

Milly just hummed, took another deep draw on her mug, and leaned her head back until it plunked against her couch cushion. She still had a lot to do after Cagalli went to bed. She had to upload photos to a client, had to book time in the development studio, had to write back to a potential client, had to remind Dearka about his doctor's appointment (and ensure that he went), she had to go to a dress fitting with Lacus tomorrow.

"Hey," Cagalli broke in suddenly, bringing Miriallia out of her swirling sea of thoughts. Milly lifted her head up "Yeah?"

"So I was adopted," began Cagalli, she quickly tipped her mug back, drinking the rest of its contents and licking her tongue against her bottom lip.

Milly nodded, she had already known that.

"Well," Cagalli continued "Here's the deal—Kira's my brother, we were born twins and we got separated when we were adopted."

Milly's eyes widened "You're twins? But you two look nothing alike."

Cagalli huffed and rolled her eyes again "C'mon Milly, you know that doesn't matter."

Milly relented, but continued her questions nonetheless. Cagalli had been right—Milly had wanted to ask questions, she'd wanted to ask from the minute they had left the bar and drove home, Cagalli pretending not to swipe at her eyes every now and then.

"How did you two find out about one another?"

Here Miriallia saw Cagalli's eyes turn glassy, and her friends glanced away quickly, never the one to be caught vulnerable.

"I filed a claim," Cagalli said slowly, the words coming out in even increments "I wanted to see my brother after my father finally told me…it was the year my mom died."

Miriallia felt a chill take its way down her back, ridiculous with them sitting in front of the fire. However Milly remembered the time period when Cagalli lost her mother, and how it had ripped her apart, into pieces. Cagalli had been in and out of classes after that, like Miriallia had told the others, it was after losing her mom that Cagalli took classes during their summer semester to leave school early. Miriallia nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"The family, the Yamatos, refused. They got their lawyer involved, said I couldn't contact them."

"I still don't understand," Milly said softly "Did your father tell you Kira's name then? Did he know who he was?"

"He knew I had a brother," Cagalli murmured "Kira's name was on the official form of restraint, they had to put it there to say who I couldn't approach. Kira found out my name too."

Milly scooted closer so that she could lay an arm on Cagalli's back, the thick wool of her sweater forming a solid pressure between them. "How are you feeling Cagalli?"

Cagalli gritted her teeth, her throat constricting "I was just caught off guard…Milly—I was so surprised. I didn't know…"

Cagalli trailed off and Miriallia saw two trails of tears begin to form in the firelight. Though, Cagalli tried to hide them well, scrubbing at them, frustrated.

"Oh, Cagalli," Milly said breathless. She leaned forward, putting their heads together. It took a lot to make her strong friend's emotions bubble over into tears. Milly had only seen it once before, and she knew how much it cost her normally brassy friend.

Cagalli squeezed her eyes shut, willing her tears to dry away. "It's no big deal, Mir, really."

Milly just squeezed Cagalli tighter "It's okay," Milly's soft and accepting words made it that much harder on Cagalli, and fresh sobs began to rack her body. Cagalli was grateful for the darkness that the outside night provided and the shadows that the fire encouraged.

"Shh," Miriallia soothed, keeping their heads together and not letting Cagalli pull away as she knew her friend was want to "It's going to be fine, you'll see."

Cagalli just shook her head, acquiescing to Milly's hold. People always were able to say those types of phrases when they were comforting people, but did they really believe them? Cagalli squeezed her eyes tighter.

X-_X-_X

"Dude, that's just surreal," Dearka's voice was overbearing in the quiet serenity of morning in the corner coffee shop. "You need to go on one of those day time talk shows."

Athrun was watching his oldest friend with concern after what he had told them that morning. They'd all met, barely after dawn, and Kira had relented to a pestering barrage of questions on Dearka's part and told them the whole tale behind the woman from the previous night.

Though, while Athrun's focus was on his best friend he didn't miss the arch of Yzak's impatient brow, or the glare he sent the violet eyed man.

"Give it a rest, Dearka," he scowled, carefully enunciating each word. "No one wants to listen to your prattle this early in the morning."

Dearka grinned and raised his hands up into the air in a placating gesture "I'm just saying."

Athrun leaned against the small glass top table to lay a hand on his best friend's shoulder "Are you okay?"

Kira shrugged, Athrun's hand lifting, and just made an uncertain gesture "I'm fine."

Yzak had just finished stirring creamer into his coffee and he waved the spoon at Kira, a few drops escaping to splash onto the table. Dearka mimicked his movements with a scone. "You can't let her get to you Yamato, if she's come here to ruin you—,"

"Who says she's come here to ruin me?" Kira exclaimed, startled. His eyes went wide and he turned to Athrun and in turn Athrun looked at Yzak, leveling his stare and rolling his eyes.

"Don't listen to the psychoanalyst, Kira," Athrun said calmly, much more calmly than he felt. He was on edge finding out something about his friend that the brunette hadn't ever confided in him. "She was just as surprised to see you as you were to see her. Look at how fast she left; she didn't even say anything to you."

"She took Milly with her too," Dearka grumbled. He moodily broke his scone apart and took a bite of the filling.

"Dearka," barked Yzak. Athrun sighed, wanting to just put his head in his hands; a serious conversation could never occur with those two around. He will never understand how they had spent four years as roommates in college, and still managed to room in their current apartment together without killing each other.

"Yes, Yzak darling?" Dearka rolled her eyes over to look at the silver haired boy, lazily, and smugly, grinning at him.

"Don't address me like that!" Yzak spluttered, he balled his napkin up and pointed a threatening finger across the table. Both Kira and Athrun followed the trail of the finger, from opposite sides, to Dearka's grinning visage. "You have to be more serious."

"How am I not being serious?" argued Dearka, not without the petulant tone of a child "Kira's got a long lost twin, who happens to be Milly's friend, and who happens to have escaped all of our notice for years. I told you: Day time talk show."

"Which I'm beginning to think you watch too much of, sitting at home every day," Athrun muttered under his breath. He sighed into his coffee, still not feeling awake enough for this discussion, and turned back to looking at Kira.

His friend was looking a little green around the edges.

"At least you have a hot sister," Dearka shrugged, he said this without meeting Kira's eyes and he turned in his seat, looking around the small place, and found his gaze on the pastry display case.

Kira made a noise of protest, his already frazzled nerves coming more unspun.

"Dearka!" It was Athrun who barked the name out this time.

"Oh my God, what?" demanded Dearka, turning back to the table, his expression disbelieving. "Between you and Yzak you could make my name into your own duet."

"You can't just call my sister hot," Kira said, his voice slightly high pitched and the words coming out strangled.

"What?" Protested Dearka, blinking. "You've met her in person for a grand total of what? Fifteen minutes, max?"

"That's not the point," Kira said loudly, however he didn't continue. He didn't seem to know what he wanted to say.

"Show some restraint, Dearka," Athrun said, exasperated, out of the corner of his mouth.

"Besides," Yzak said, somewhat gleefully "Don't you have a girlfriend, hm?"

Athrun shook his head, honestly not knowing which one of them was worse. They were awake at the crack of dawn, with a friend who was having a potential nervous breakdown, and this is how they carried on?

"Milly's hotter," Dearka said simply, and then he slid his gaze over to Kira "No offense, man."

Yzak put his head in one hand, using his other hand to illustrate his point "You don't apologize for telling the man that his fraternal twin is hot, yet you apologize for saying that she's not as hot as your girlfriend?"

"Did I stutter?"

Athrun was grateful when the waitress appeared at his shoulder. Dearka latched onto the opportunity to order a coffee cake, and he and Yzak had their coffees refilled. Athrun was glad to see that Kira kept his cup half empty. This occasion didn't warrant an excess of caffeine.

Yzak watched Athrun struggle to figure out what to say, the man too worried about being subtle to Kira, and just went ahead and said the point for him. "Yamato—are you going to be alright with this? Or are you going to have a coronary?"

Kira shook his head, unable to stop the small smile. His silver haired friend was a piece of work.

Kira did have to think for a moment, he had relied on his friend's reactions to tell him how he should deal with this. It was Dearka's nonchalant attitude that seemed the most relieving to him. Kira eyed Athrun, knowing he was the one that was most concerned, and took a deep breath "It's a shock," he admitted, "but I think it's going to be fine."

Athrun nodded "What do you want to do about it?"

"I think we're going to need to talk," Kira picked up his own spoon, making melancholy circles in his cup.

Dearka caught Yzak's eye and mouthed 'No shit.' Athrun restrained the urge to childishly kick him under the table, it probably wouldn't be that covert, and he'd probably end up hitting Kira.

"Hey, she seems nice," Athrun said instead, "and she's Miriallia's friend, so you know that she can't be too bad."

"Yeah," Kira said, brightening some and forming one of his slow but sincere smiles "Thanks guys."

"Anytime," Dearka replied immediately "But next time we meet this early I charge you by the minute."

Kira laughed, but Athrun ignored it and Yzak's sure fire response. He got somewhat lost in his own thoughts. He didn't want whatever this was going to turn into to interfere with his friend's wedding. Both Kira and Lacus had been waiting for a long time to be happy. He would do whatever it took to help them with that.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the other three men go quiet, or the woman who was standing at his back until she spoke.

"Hello," Athrun wouldn't readily forget his best friend's twin sister's voice, but he noticed that it seemed subdued, and for a moment was startled by the ridiculous notion that he didn't like the way it sounded, saddened like it was.

"Cagalli," Kira said, standing "I mean…Miss. Attha, I'm surprised to see you."

Athrun turned and looked up just in time to see Cagalli flinch slightly "Cagalli's fine."

Athrun raised an eyebrow, if that hadn't sounded blunt and demanding he wouldn't know what would. That was more of the attitude of the girl he had been introduced to before.

"Cagalli then," Kira said, his voice going soft. His facial expression was seemingly polite, but Athrun, and Yzak and Dearka too, were able to that he still retained his nervousness behind it. Anyone would, really.

"I was wondering if we could talk for a minute?"

"Sure!" Kira said quickly, he hurriedly came around the table, accidentally knocking an elbow into the back of Dearka's head as he passed.

Athrun didn't keep his eyes on his friend and his friend's twin, turning them politely back to the table. However he did hear what they said in the next few seconds.

"I promised Milly I'd bring back bagels," behind Athrun Cagalli motioned awkwardly to the display case and register.

"Oh, sure," Kira smiled, glancing back at the table briefly before turning to lead Cagalli over to the counter.

Cagalli was surprised when he took hold of her elbow to help lead her through the early crowd gathered around the few tables in the small shop. She didn't think that he even noticed he was doing it.

"I was thinking that we could talk later," Kira said, only turning his head enough so that his voice carried over his shoulder. He was too anxious to really look at her.

"That's what I wanted to ask you," Cagalli said, she frowned a little at the way he was acting, quenching down the small quell of unreasonable frustration "I know you're busy this morning…"

"We could talk now, if you want," Kira said, turning as they reached the counter. There was one other person ahead of them in line. He rubbed the back of his head with an uneasy hand.

"Later's fine," said Cagalli shortly.

"I know it must have been a surprise, meeting me all of a sudden, I know it sure was for me…"

Cagalli furrowed a brow "Of course it was a surprise," she admitted "I never expected to find you here of all places."

"Yeah," Kira agreed with a nervous laugh. After the woman in front of them began ordering a custom cake for pick up later the two of them fell into an uneasy silence, and Kira quickly hurried to fill it. "So, how've you been?"

Kira regretted the words as soon as they'd left his mouth, finding them more awkward than the silence. Cagalli saw him flinch.

"I've been well," Cagalli tried to manage the statement. All the uncertainty between them reached a peak however, and Cagalli finally let it boil over. She dropped all the polite pretenses, and spoke to Kira in a normal tone, with her normal words.

"No I haven't," she said, belying her previous words. "I've been over stressed, I have a list of responsibilities a mile long, and I'm possibly out of a job. I came to December City to get away from it all."

The lady in front of them left, and Cagalli turned, her amber eyes avoiding Kira, to order with the girl behind the counter "A plain bagel, and a sesame one please."

Cagalli didn't turn once the girl left to complete her order, she felt an unfamiliar embarrassment steel across her cheeks, and began to feel vulnerable in the presence of this man that she only knew as an absent brother.

Kira began to laugh behind her.

Cagalli turned, her amber eyes locking on Kira, weary. However Kira was standing there quite openly laughing. He didn't seem to be ridiculing her; he just seemed to be laughing.

"What the heck are you laughing at?" Cagalli asked, stunned. A hand went onto her hip and her stance slipped into a defensive one.

"You're quite forward aren't you?" Kira asked, not waiting for an answer "The way you just answered me when I asked how you were, it's," he paused, "refreshing, I think."

Cagalli honestly wasn't sure what to respond to that sort of statement, so she sort of nodded and kept standing there.

"Cagalli," Kira said, "I really want to know you."

"You do?" Cagalli was taken aback "What about all that stuff with the order of restraint when I tried to get in touch in college?"

"That was my parents," he said, his tone was gentle "They were scared about what it would mean for our family. I understand why they did it, but, please, I wouldn't worry about it now."

Cagalli still didn't seem to take his word for it.

Kira cast all other thoughts aside and looked at her determined, his purple eyes flashing with seriousness that he didn't usually present. He put his hands on either of her arms. "I used to dream as a kid about the family I could have somewhere, Cagalli. Trust me when I say, yes I was astonished at meeting you, but I do want to know you."

The girl came back, sliding a paper bag across the counter to Cagalli, and wordlessly collected the bills that Cagalli handed her. "Thanks," Cagalli said askance to the girl. She turned back to Kira.

"Well, I have to go."

"Okay," Kira sighed "You still want to see each other later though, right?"

Cagalli nodded.

"Meet me in the park in the center of town," Kira suggested, "around four."

"Yeah," Cagalli said, she turned to walk away, noticing that back at Kira's table a pair of jewel green eyes starred back at her before nervously darting away, "I'll see you later, Kira."

Kira watched her walk away.

"Can I help you sir?" the girl behind the counter leaned forward, an unimpressed look on her face at his loitering. She pointed to the man lined up behind him. Kira quickly excused himself.

When Kira sat back down at the table he chuckled once, letting a large smile bloom across his face. He had felt nervous, but when looking at her, really looking at her, explaining to her what he felt, it all evaporated. Surely, that was his sister.

Athrun hummed, pushing his cup and saucer away from himself, and tried not to be unhappy at his friend's sudden contentment.

X-_X-_X

Cagalli supposed that she should be happy that the wind wasn't making the day unnecessarily blustery; however she still couldn't keep herself from grumbling about the freezing weather as she trudged through the sloshy snow that covered every part of the December City park walkways.

It was a few minutes before four, and it was already nearly dark out. Cagalli paused in her effort, her muscles burning from the amount of energy it took to go through the snow mounds in her heavy boots, and thought about what she could be doing in Orb if she were there now.

It would be warm. She could be on her terrace at home, overlooking the sea. She could be smelling the sea salt on the breeze, and listening to the noises of the market that was always busy and exciting. Envisioning these delights made her weary of her current goal for a moment, however once she thought of Orb she thought of the trials and responsibilities that were awaiting her there as well.

Slowly Cagalli began to make her way further into the small park. She'd take a long lost mystery over her other thoughts any day. Even if it came with near arctic temperatures.

Cagalli's boot dug deep into the snow, but it shifted beneath her and she let out a small gasp before managing to right herself properly. "No good comes out of this weather," she muttered.

When Cagalli straightened she loosed her scarf to peer out further into the park, looking for Kira. There weren't many people around. A couple of children were hurrying along the outside of the park, probably taking a shortcut from school; the only other figure was sitting on a bench, underneath a barren tree.

It was Kira.

Without intending to do so Cagalli began to make her way more quietly, she was intent on the back of the brunette in front of her. He was hunched over, his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands.

Cagalli felt her face tighten with an emotion akin to hurt the closer she approached him. Could he be this upset at the prospect of having to meet with her?

Cagalli raised her hand to her mouth to cough, an easy way of announcing her presence, but before she could do so Kira turned, and deep violet eyes turned their attention to her.

Kira's previously passive face broke into a welcoming smile "Cagalli," he said, sounding relieved, "I'm glad you came."

"You are?" asked Cagalli, she blinked once. Watching their breath in the cold air she sidestepped Kira, wiping snow of the bench so that she could sit next to him. Her thigh length winter jacket still wasn't enough to protect her from the cold metal of the bench.

"Of course," Kira gave a nervous chuckle.

"Well," Cagalli pursed her lips, "I'm glad I came too."

"Good."

"I'm surprised you were early," she said awkwardly.

"Yeah," he agreed, "One of Lacus' bridesmaids wasn't able to make it to the fitting so it ran short."

Cagalli was fishing for something to say when Kira's face unexpectedly hardened and Cagalli was taken aback by the expression on his face. He beat his hands against his arms a few times and tightened his scarf.

"Sorry," Kira said, wincing "I'm still not used to the harsh winters here."

Cagalli couldn't do anything other than nod. She felt relieved that that expression hadn't been angled at her. She'd only seen nervousness, surprise, anxiousness, and a few other emotions on the face of a man she could only assume was light spirited most of the time. She'd hate to see the type of experience that could bring that hard of a look out on his face.

Kira turned to her, smiling "You're probably not used to it either," he said, rubbing the back of his snow-capped head "Coming all the way up from Orb."

"Yeah," agreed Cagalli, she wrinkled her nose "There's too much snow, its overkill. It makes me miss Orb even more."

Kira nodded "Days like this here make me miss Orb too."

Cagalli blinked. She'd forgotten that this man, her brother, had lived in Orb as well.

"What made you want to move here?" Cagalli asked. She tightened her glove clad hands together. They'd come here to talk, so she'd make a move to learn more about this man.

Kira's eyes smiled at her but he made a hesitating nose "I guess just because my fiancée is from here, and many of my friends that I met and work with are here, where our job is as well. It's peaceful here too."

"Your fiancée seems nice," Cagalli ventured, moving their conversation onto another topic, she didn't want to be stuck in silence. His fiancée had seemed nice enough, in an odd, bubbly way. Cagalli wondered if she were the type of person that would get along with her.

"Oh she's great." Kira's voice dipped in an almost lethargic way, deepening in tone. His eyes softened, "She's the smartest and kindest person I've honestly ever met."

"Bright hair."

Kira laughed, "That's true."

Before Cagalli could continue down her nervous string of questions Kira turned it onto her. "What do you do back in Orb?"

"I was a vice-minister for the foreign secretary," she said, not noticing Kira's shocked expression at the privileged position. Cagalli shrugged her shoulders "But things are difficult now. In the ministry and in the party."

"Why?"

"Guess I wasn't conservative enough for them," Cagalli made a sour face "Or in their opinion 'loud-mouthed and unorthodox'. Now there's an overpaid undereducated moron in my place while certain things are being decided."

Kira gave her a small, sincere smile "I'm sure you were good at your job, Cagalli."

She stared at Kira for a moment, her shrewd eyes trying to figure out if he were being serious. "Thanks Kira."

"No problem."

Cagalli had to agree that this city was peaceful. She wasn't feeling nearly as stressed next to this man as she thought she was going to be. However there was something they needed to discuss.

"Look, Kira," she started, her eyes looking away from his. She struggled with the words for a moment "I know you're getting married and all, so I'll understand if you want me to keep away for a while."

"What?" Kira's voice rose, "No!"

Cagalli was taken aback by his protest.

"I mean," Kira said, backpedaling, "I meant it when I said I wanted to get to know you."

"I'm glad we met now, this means I get to have my sister at my wedding," he paused, as if considering something for the first time, "You'll come, won't you?"

"Sure," said Cagalli slowly, not really certain if she did want to agree to it "When is this thing anyway?"

"Next Saturday," Kira said proudly "Eight days."

Cagalli took a deep breath, looking at the snow, down at her hands and at the cloud strewn sky before she sighed. "I would love to come to your wedding, Kira," she laid a hand on his, a feeling that she wasn't wholly comfortable with "It'll be nice."

Kira smiled, and Cagalli felt odd at the look he was giving her. It seemed as if she had given him a present of some sort. She was unused to this sort of emotion, she felt as though she needed to make herself scarce, or attack this head on, and yet he seemed to have already accepted it, and in a positive way.

Cagalli stood "Well," she said "You're an odd guy Kira."

"Er, what?" Kira deadpanned. He didn't think he had acted weird "I promise I'm normal."

Cagalli laughed as he stood "It's a good thing I promise. If it wasn't, trust me, I'd let you know."

Kira nervously laughed with her, still not entirely understanding. "So," he ventured "Want to meet Lacus and me for lunch tomorrow?"

Cagalli nodded "Sure."

"Well," Kira said, giving an awkward jolt with his hands "I'll see you tomorrow then. Requiem, the café on the corner of second, around one?"

"Sounds great," Cagalli tried to be upbeat before attempting to turn and make her way away, not quite up for the usual awkward good bye. She was stopped though, by the most surprising feeling of having arms encircle her body.

"I'm glad, Cagalli," Kira whispered. Cagalli felt her eyes go wide, her head pressed into Kira's shoulder "I really am."

As quick as the arms had come they were gone and Kira was making his way quickly through the snow in the opposite direction, throwing up a hand to wave at her. Cagalli sighed, trying not to feel as susceptible to her emotions as they wanted to be, and started off.

"I know I'm going to slip before I can get out of this death trap."

X-_X-_X

Thanks for reading the second chapter. I'm feeling more and more excited about this story. I'm trying to stick really close to character personalities, and focus more on not just how their perceived by fanfiction readers but real examples of how they act in the anime as well.

I want to thank everyone who read the first chapter when it came out, I can say I was honestly touched at the response that it received!

AnimeSiren