34Author's Note: I strongly advise you do not try any of the things I have thought up of, they were random thoughts in a boring science lesson and I'm pretty sure Gene'll end up making you eat your own thumbs.
Don't say I didn't warn ya.
1) Make constant blonde jokes around him.
2) Key the Quattro.
3) Repeat the following sentence whenever you can 'It's because your gay, isn't it?'
4) Collect everything that has his last name on it and change the H to a C.
5) Poke him.
6) When he yells at you, come up with a very deep logical reason behind your poking.
7) Flirt with Alex.
8) Tell him that one day, girls will be chasing after sparkly vampires, not overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobes with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding.
9) Replace his hip flasks for bottles of Vimto.
10) Half way through one of his rants, stand up and walk out saying 'I'm bored, where's Keats? He's always a good laugh...'
11) Tell him that Boy George has more of a chance will Alex than he does.
13) Say 'Manchester, that's somewhere in France...right?'
14) Tell him it's compulsory for paperwork to be done while listening to Duran Duran and wearing pink socks.
15) Hug him.
16) Repeat number 15 whenever he has a drink.
17) Damn, that's a lot of hugs.
18) Whenever he takes out a cigarette yell 'CANCER!' over and over again.
19) Constantly say 'Sooooooo...have ya kissed Alex yet?'
20) Write 'LOL' on his forehead while he sleeps.
21) Insist on calling the Quattro 'The Gene-mobile'
22) Repeat the following sentences whenever you can 'Keats won't like that.' 'You pout like a girl' 'Oh, I am so telling Alex on you' and 'Stay out of Camberwick Green, damnit!'
23) Give Ray and Chris a bottle of Diet Coke and a packet of mints and get them to mix the two together.
24) Inside his office.
25) After every joke he comes out with, say the following words: 'Aaah, nothing like northern futility '
26) Put Skittles in his beer.
27) When he yells at you, shout back 'TASTE THE RAINBOW, BITCH!'
28) Call him a man-whore.
29) Threaten to show Alex his doodles of her.
30) Call him 'Alex's work bitch'
Let me know if you want me to annoy any other characters!