How To Annoy A Keats

(a/n The author would like you too know that she shall carry out everything on this list and invites others to join her, should she ever get shot in the head and end up in 1983. That is all.)

1) Paint the lenses of his glasses Pink.

2) Tell him that he has no friends...constantly

3) Remind him that there are no such things as 'Kalex Shippers'

4) ...Because he has no friends.

5) Tell him that the nearest he'll ever get to a friendly nickname is Gene calling him 'Jimbo'...and hisnickname blows his completely out of the water.

6) So basically...he has no friends.

7) After every time Gene insults him, sneer and say, 'YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH'

8) Wipe your brow and say, 'Phew, it's as hot as hell in here!'

9) Shiver and say, 'God, it's as cold as death!'

10) Give him a head band with devil horns on it.

11) Say that Alex is into that kind of thing.

12) Laugh and say, 'Only joking, she hates your guts.'

13) Challenge him to a drinking game.

14) Get the whole of CID to tease him when he declines.

15) Tell him Alex only goes after REAL men.

16) Like Gene.

17) Not him.

18) Say, 'So, if your really Satan, then why are you so dull?'

19) Tell him that Gene isn't dull.

20) In fact, tell him Gene has fan girls.

21) And he hasn't.

22) Because HE'S SO BLOODY DULL!

23) Tell him he has a strange laugh.

24) Ask why he has a strange laugh.

25) Say, 'Is that a demon thing?'

26) Ask why demons have strange laughs.

27) Interrupt him suddenly and say 'Wow. And I thought BBC Four was dull.'

28) Constantly say how epic Gene is.

29) And the Quattro, don't forget the Quattro. It's way cooler than Keats could ever hope to be.

30) Finally say casually, 'So everybody trusted Gene in the end and left you...better luck next time, eh?'

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Hey guys! I also know how to annoy a reader! Mention Fanfiction in a Fanfiction! Apparently they don't like it =P