I don't own Twilight or the characters!
My life was not about choices anymore. My right to choose what I wanted was nonexistent. I couldn't choose the path I wanted my life to take, I was even at risk of not choosing who to love.
Becoming a shape-shifter had put an end to the right to have choices. I was stuck in one place, not aging, not having anymore milestones. When you were a shape-shifter, you were under the command of the Alpha. What ever he told you to do, you had better follow it. It was impossible to ignore an Alpha command. Trying to ignore it was almost as painful as trying to hold in a cough that burns your chest. It was like trying to hold in tears that left that lump in your throat. It was impossible.
I always complained about not being able to make choices. The pack heard all of my vile thoughts. I always blamed the Cullens for taking away my choices and making my life the way it was. If Edward wasn't a vampire, Bella probably wouldn't have noticed him. He would have just been like every other human, his pale, stone like skin would not have stood out. I would have had the chance to be with Bella, she had known me longer anyway. It was the Cullens fault that I had phased in the first place. With them still lurking around, the wolf gene was in full force.
"Everyone gather around. I have some news," Sam called out. He sat in a recliner and we sat on the couch, that was not big enough for our huge bodies. " We have two more pack members."
"Nice, more guys means more fun," Embry said hi-fiving Paul,.
"They're not all guys actually." Sam glanced down at the floor, then back at us. He seemed uncomfortable with the situation, whatever the situation might be. He tapped his foot loudly and rubbed the back of his neck.
"So what is it then," I asked. Sam sucked his teeth, let out a sigh and quickly hopped to his feet.
"Leah. Leah's joined the pack," Sam whispered but loud enough for us all to hear.
"Leah? As in Leah Clearwater," Jared's eyebrows scrunched together as he questioned Sam.
"Leah Clearwater, the one with the nice ass," Paul asked.
Sam growled and then cleared his throat. " I forbid any sexual like behavior toward her and you all will respect her. Her and Seth are our new members."
" Wait, how did she phase? She's a girl. What did the council have to say about this," I asked.
" They said they don't know how it happened. I guess she had the gene and with the Cullens being here, that triggered it. Her and Seth are on their way over here now. I want you all to make them feel as comfortable as possible. Leah is not taking this all too well. Seth is just kind of confused but I think he'll be fine," Sam explained. As soon as he said that, I heard a car door shut. "I think that's them."
We all peeked out the window and sure enough Leah, Seth and Emily were walking towards the front door. Leah's face was frowned up and her body was tensed. Seth followed close behind her and Emily was leading them in.
Emily pecked Sam on the lips and Leah grimaced.
"Leah. Seth," Sam nodded towards them. "Come on in and sit down."
Seth sat on the floor next to my legs and Leah stood in front of the door. She crossed her arms and squinted her eyes. Sam didn't force her to sit but stood next to her as he spoke. Emily stood on the other side of Leah, rubbing her arm, trying to soothe her. The only thing Emily was doing was making Leah angrier. I could tell by the fire in her eyes and the squared line of her jaw.
Leah was known as the most beautiful girl in La Push. Every guy wanted to run their hands through her long, wavy hair and her over her soft curves. Her hair was now jaggedly cut and stopped just under her chin. She still had soft curves, but now she was toner. Her legs were muscular and longer. Her arms were sculpted and her breast-her breast even looked a little plumper.
" Welcome to the pack," Embry said breaking the awkward silence that had filled the room.
"Thanks," Seth replied fiddling with his small shirt. The growth spurt hit him hard like it did all of us. His shirts were now shorter and way tighter than they used to be.
"So um how does it feel to be a shape-shifter," Paul asked looking at Leah.
She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. " Hmm I don't know. It's nice to be a furry creature and ripping my clothes a part."
Embry and Quil let out a horribly fake laugh. They were trying too hard to make Leah comfortable. Sam cut his eyes at them and their laughing abruptly stopped.
"I'm not being funny," Leah spat. I remember Leah being a sweet girl. She always had a smile on her face and was pretty pleasant to be around. That's when she was with Sam, about two years a go. "Would you fucking stop rubbing on my arm!"
Emily jumped back from Leah, her eyes widened at Leah's sudden outburst.
"Emily why don't you go to the room for now," Sam said, softly patting Emily on the back. She nodded and retreated to their bedroom.
"Leah you can have a sit, we're having a meeting," Sam said pointing towards an empty spot on the floor.
"I'm fine where I am," Leah snapped. She didn't even make eye contact with Sam. She focused on a piece of lint on her shirt instead.
"Oookay, well I will start." Sam moved to a spot in the middle of the floor. " Since we have new pack members that means new patrol shifts. Embry and Jared will continue to do their regular shift in the mornings until noon. Paul, you and Quil will still pick up right after Embry and Jared. Seth, I want you to patrol with me so you can get some experience. That leaves Jacob with Leah. Jacob, you and Leah will patrol at 3:00 pm until 6:00 pm. I will patrol with Seth after that. Is everything clear?"
Everyone nodded, except Leah. She shifted her weight to her other hip and glared at Sam's back. She was a complete bitch now, even if she had a reason to be.
Like I said, becoming a wolf meant you had to give up the right to make choices of your own. Sam could no longer stay with Leah because he imprinted on Emily, Leah's second cousin/best friend. Sam didn't have the choice to love Leah like he did Emily. Imprinting was rare, and I was hoping it skipped me. As much as I tried to force myself to imprint on Bella, I didn't like the idea of imprinting. Hearing Sam's constant thoughts of hurting Leah scared all of us. We were constantly stuck seeing Leah in Sam's thoughts. Her hurt expression when Sam dumped her and how she was soon after that. She no longer was sweet, smiley Leah Clearwater. Now she was bitter, cynical and cruel. The way she cut her eyes at everyone in the living room was clear proof that Leah Clearwater was going to be hell in the pack.
"Leah is everything clear," Sam asked turning to face her. She bit down on her lip and shook her head. I think I even heard and evil laugh escape her throat.
"Why the hell should I follow what you say," Leah asked Sam.
"Because I'm the Alpha and you have to follow my orders, unless you want me to use Alpha command on you," Sam explained.
"You don't want him to do that," Embry added.
"Says the guy with no father." Leah laughed to herself and moved a piece of hair from her face.
"Leah that was so uncalled for," Sam said.
I bit my tongue, trying to push the vile words I was thinking up back down my throat. I wasn't going to let her insult my best friend. Embry was about to open his mouth but closed it instead. He didn't want Sam to jump on him for saying something inappropriate.
" Let's not get on the subject of what's uncalled for Uley," Leah shot back. She leaned against the wall behind her and gazed at her surroundings. She looked at each of us, right in the eye. It was almost as if she was reading our minds or cursing us.
" Look Leah, we're a family. So that means you have to treat all of them as your brothers and that includes me," Sam said.
" Are you fucking kidding me? I will never think you as anything but an asshole. A coward. A liar, a cheat," Leah spoke slowly, every word coming at sharp.
"You have no right to call me that," Leah replied through her teeth. Seth stood up and hurried to her side.
Sam sighed in defeat and turned back to us. " Jacob can you begin patrol with Leah? Make sure to show her everything she needs to do."
I stood up and made my way over to where Leah stood. "Come on Clearwater." I nodded my head towards the door.
Surprisingly she followed me, probably only to get away from Sam. She turned back towards the house and gave Seth a small smile. He looked back at her with fear in his eyes.
"First I have to show you how to phase," I said leading Leah into an opening.
"I already know how to do that."
"Not corr-" Leah phased right in front of me. Her shredded clothes slivered to the ground around us. " I hope you have some more clothes. I was trying to tell you to get undressed first." Leah growled. "Not in front of me Leah. I meant go behind a tree or something. Now I'm going to go get undressed and you wait here."
A minute later, I walked back into the clearing in wolf form.
"Now I have to show you how to patrol. Please pay attention and listen well. I don't plan to go back over this more than once," I thought.
"Just hurry up so I can go back home. I don't want to be a part of this shit anyway," Leah thought back.
"Let me tell you something before we go any further. I'm not in the mood for your attitude Clearwater. Whatever happened between you, Sam and Emily is not my problem. What makes you think I want to be here with you? I would rather patrol by myself."
"Why don't you do that then? I can teach myself how to do it or how about I don't do it at all," Leah snapped.
" You have to do it if you're a part of this pack. Now watch and learn."
"What now," I asked getting frustrated.
"Nothing that concerns you, now hurry the hell up."
I sighed. " Why are you being such a bitch?"
"Excuse me? Why are you such an ass kisser?"
"Whose ass am I kissing?"
"Oh don't let me go there. Why are you kissing Sam's ass," Leah let out a wolfy laugh.
"I'm only doing my job as a member of this pack. Shut the fuck up and listen will you?" I waited for a reply, but didn't get one. " You have to make sure you keep your nose close to the ground. You can pick up scents better the closer you are to the ground. Nose to the ground, eyes up. You have to make sure you're focused on what's in front of you, behind you, and on your sides."
"What the hell are we sniffing for? I know we're after vampires, but how am I supposed to know what they smell like?"
I laughed. "Trust me you'll know. The scent will burn your nose and almost make you queasy."
"Oh. Are we done," Leah asked impatiently.
"Nope. Now we actually have to patrol. That was just me teaching you. Make sure you stay by my side. Once you're more experienced, you'll go a separate way."
Leah stayed close to my side and followed all my instructions. We patrolled in silence, until Leah began thinking about her past relationship with Sam.
"I was really worried about you when you were gone Sam. Where did you go anyway," Leah asked, her hands roaming back and forth over Sam's bare chest.
" I wish I could tell you Lee, but I can't," Sam replied. His voice was low, almost a growl.
" Why are you keeping secrets from me," Leah asked sitting up. Sam stared at the ceiling with his hands rested behind his head.
"It's not like I want to, I just have to."
"I thought we could tell each other anything. You've been acting weird ever since you got back. What is it," Leah pressed.
"I can't tell you Leah," Sam said, his voice a little firmer now.
"Because I can't," Sam yelled. He gently pushed Leah off of him and stood up. "I gotta go."
"Why do you keep running away from me," Leah asked, tears were forming in the corners of her eyes.
"I don't want to hurt you Leah, but you've got to understand that I can't explain what's going on. You have to trust me."
"How can I trust you when you're keeping secrets from me," Leah asked wiping her face.
" Please just trust me." Sam buckled his belt and walked toward the bedroom door. He leaned against it and sucked in a deep breath. " I love you more than anything."
"It surely doesn't feel like it," Leah replied holding the comforter closer to her bare body.
Sam glanced back at Leah. " I'm sorry I'm making you feel this way."
Sam wiped a lone tear and shut Leah's door softly.
~End of Flashback~
The rest of Leah's thoughts were just a jumbled mess. She thought about the last time Sam made love to her, the last kiss, the last hug, the last "I love you, and the last good-bye before he fell in love with Emily. She thought about the day he broke up with her, the first time she saw him and Emily kiss. She thought about the late nights she laid awake crying. The times where she didn't eat or drink anything. She thought about times she wanted to just disappear and be forgotten.
When Leah figured out I was still in her head, her thoughts abruptly stopped.
"I didn't know all that happened," I thought.
Leah phased out and ran the opposite direction. I phased out and quickly put on my clothes. I finally caught up with Leah, she was back in the clearing where we started out. She was sitting in the middle of the treeless spot, with her knees pulled up to her chest. I took off my shirt as I walked towards her.
"I don't like people in my head," Leah spoke quietly. I laid my shirt on her shoulders and looked away as she put it on.
"You have to get used to it. You'll always have someone in your head if you're phased. Trust me, I don't like it either," I replied.
" I can't believe any of this is real. I remember I used to hear stories of vampires when I was a kid. My dad used to tell me about the wolves. I had nightmares about the vampires, they always freaked me out. Now I have to face them, kill them and act as though that's normal. All the things I never thought existed, actually exist. What the hell is wrong with the world," Leah said. She slowly turned her head to look at me.
"I don't know what's wrong with it. I mean, I guess I see where you're coming from."
"What happened to choices? I didn't ask to become this monster. This took away my happiness and left me choiceless. Sam explained the whole imprinting thing to me. It only made me angrier about the situation. I get that he didn't have a choice, it hurts him to be away from her. But why couldn't he tell me the truth, he did have a choice to do that. This is one fucked up world we live in," Leah looked up at the sky.
" He didn't mean to do it. He hates that he hurt you."
" Yea sure. Sam's happy and doesn't give two flying fucks about how I feel." Leah stood and brushed her self off. "Are we done here?"
"Yea I guess. I'll patrol the rest of the perimeter by myself," I replied.
Leah nodded. " Thanks for helping me learn this crap." Leah threw her hand up and rolled her eyes.
" Yep. Whatever."
" You know I'm going to make Sam's life hell since we're in each other's heads right?"
" Yep," I said once again.
This idea came to me while I was in Criminology class. What a wonderful place for new ideas to emerge?
It is just my way of giving the wolves their spotlight, since S. Meyer didn't really touch base on the wolves. I always wondered how it was when Leah joined the pack. Too bad we didn't get to see that.
I feel that the whole imprinting thing was a little bogus in Twilight. I still don't understand how imprinting is so rare, yet many of the pack members imprinted. How is that rare? I won't go on an angry rant because it would be too long. lol
Thanks for reading! I plan to have a new chapter of Blurred Instincts up soon!