PAIN, SEX, AND LOVE: A Day In The Life of Dean Winchester.

Title: Pain, Sex, And Love: A Day In The Life Of Dean Winchester.

Author: Rchginger

Genre: Slash. Dean/Castiel. Poor Sam that has to put up with it all.

Warnings: M/M sex, Wing!Kink. TopCas! Because Cas in charge is a turn on. No beta-mistakes are all mine and I apologize for them in advance.

Disclaimer: Okay you caught me, I own Supernatural….Okay I don't really but I girl can dream can't she?

Spoilers? None, unless you've been living under a rock and don't know who Castiel and Raphael is.

Notes? Prompt? Response to a prompt on the Dean/Cas S6 Kink-Meme. Prompted by krystalicekitsu,

Not sure if this was what you where wanting, but I hope you like. A/N: My world assumes Castiel is now an archangel and Sam isn't so creepy…because don't think I can write creepy-emotionless Sam.

Summary: Prompt was (Dean/Castiel- Raphael pops back up and does something that nearly kills Dean. Cas has to make him better by giving him pieces of his grace. Dean gets wings…. And then they have sex.) Basically sums it up.

PAIN, SEX, AND LOVE: A Day In The Life of Dean Winchester.

Dean knew pain.

He had an intimate relationship with the searing, spine twisting sensation. He knew how it felt to have a knife sliding through his flesh and muscle; cutting tendons and drawing rich, dark crimson. He also knew how it felt to deliver it onto another. To have someone scream and writhe beneath him, and beg for it to end while he worked them…He knew pain and right now Dean was hurting like hell.


It was a pain that had only been matched in the pit with the dark orange flames licking at his flesh and the screams of the tormented damned echoing in his ears. The skin on his back felt like it had been split apart; torn open by whatever that fucking super bitch angel had done. His wrists were still bound behind his back, securing him to the rusty metal chair in the old warehouse that Raphael had chosen for their 'talk'.

A twist of a wrist, a brush of too cold fingers on his forehead and Dean had woken to the damp, musty air with a scream ripping the lining of his throat to shreds. The archangel's hand had been forearm deep in his chest, turning him inside out.

"Nothing personal, but he cares for you and if he's too busy rescuing you he won't be trying to find the weapons."

As it turns out Raphael's a chatty son of bitch when he's soul torturing someone. Or maybe it was the new vessel. Of Asian descent and only reaching Dean's shoulder the vessel was slighter than the last. And if the pain wasn't making him sick Dean would feel sorry for the poor sack now being used as an angel condom to be tossed away after Raphael has soiled it beyond repair.

Struggling with his restraints, Dean risked a glance around the large empty space. The mighty mutant archangel had flapped off once Dean had started screaming and had been unable to stop. Dean didn't give a fuck where he had gone to…but man would it have killed the fucker to have untied him first. He was beginning to hate angels even more than witches…and that was saying something.

A rustle behind him made him twitch; it was a sound he now knew all too well.



... And he so did not let out a sob of relief at the gruff voice speaking his name. Nor did his heart stutter at the sight of the newly minted archangel dressed in the usual trench coat and suit…He didn't. Honestly. And if he did, which he didn't, it was just because he was happy that he wouldn't have to rub his wrists raw to get out of the rope.

"Dean." Castiel said again and if Dean didn't know him so well he would say that the angel sounded relieved.

"Hey Cas." Dean tried for a smile and failed miserably. A wet cough followed the angel's name off his tongue and sticky crimson dribbled down his chin.

Fuck…That couldn't be good.

Dark spots swirled in his vision while his body shook as his lungs forced out more blood. The restraints loosened without being touched and Dean slumped forward into Castiel's waiting arms.

"It's okay Dean. I've got you." Fingers combed through his hair. "I'm sorry."

Dean had a moment to wonder what Cas had to be sorry about before his eyes slid shut and the darkness swallowed him. He welcomed the oblivion….at least then there would be no pain.


Guilt was a funny emotion. And one that Castiel had begun to know during his time as….as less than he was meant to be. He had felt guilty before. When he had to lie to Dean when they had first met. When he could not help the young man that had seen far too much of the violence of this world. Yes, Castiel now archangel angel of the Lord knew of the emotion called guilt.

The churning, sick feeling in his vessel's stomach told him he was experiencing the less than pleasurable emotion at this moment. Jimmy Novak….no longer inhabited this body he wore like his own. Castiel had seen to the resting of the man's soul a time ago when he had returned after Raphael's attempt at ending his existence. So the sick sensation must be his alone…and he knew the cause of it.

He only hoped…prayed even…that Dean would forgive him.

The door to the ratty motel room the brother's Winchester had taken residence in for the night opened with a tiny squeak of protest. Castiel didn't look away from the small bed that Dean laid upon, already knowing that it was Sam returning from his search for his missing brother. Castiel thought now that he should have contacted Sam to let him know that he had found Dean. Yet at the time his focus had been entirely on Dean and caring for him, making sure the hunter lived passed the hour. He couldn't be sorry for his actions, but he did regret the unnecessary worry Sam had felt.

"Cas?" Castiel could hear the confusion in the young Winchester's voice…the man that had become his friend. "What…?" The questioned died off and Castiel assumed Sam had spotted his brother. "What the hell happened to him?"

Sam brushed past Castiel, their arms hitting as he made his way to Dean.

"I was not able to find him in time. Raphael…." Castiel didn't finish the sentence. Didn't want to finish it.

He never wanted to think about what Raphael had done to the bright, pure light that was Dean's soul. He certainly never wanted to tell Sam nor Dean.

"Is he okay?" Sam was wringing his hands, teeth nipping at his bottom lip, and Castiel knew he wanted to check for himself. To feel and see that his brother was okay for himself.

"He shall be yes. But he needs to rest."

"Did you…" Sam finally looked away from Dean and towards Castiel where he now stood by the single small window to the room. "Did you heal him?"


"Thanks Cas."

"You need not thank me Sam."

"Yeah I do….but you really should have called me." Castiel had been waiting for that. "I'm mean, shit. I was racing around this fucking town looking for him and he's been here…."

"Forty-five minutes and thirty-nine seconds." Castiel supplied.

"Nearly an hour and you didn't think I needed to know that? That I wouldn't want to know my brother was safe and not somewhere dying?"

"I was not thinking about you at all, my attentions had been focused on Dean."

"I…" Sam paused, running a hand through his hair that was growing too long. "I get that…Thank you." Castiel opened his mouth but Sam beat him to it. "I know, I know, I don't have to thank you but I want to."

"Then you are welcome, but I did not do it for you."

A harsh bark of laughter escaped Sam. "Yeah, I know."

Castiel turned his eyes to Dean. He would sleep through the night as his body made the necessary adjustments, Castiel wanted to be here when he awoke but he could feel his brothers and sisters clamoring in the back of his mind for his attention.

"I must go." He told Sam, already unfurling his wings. The smooth dark feathers that could be soft to the touch or as deadly as a blade shifted through the heated air. Castiel enjoyed the sensation…having them tucked away was not comfortable.

"You're coming back right? When he wakes?"

"I'll try."

"He'll want to know what happened….want to see you."

Castiel doubted Dean would want to see him once he knew what Castiel had to do to save his life. But it was nice to hear from Sam all the same.

"I shall be back, but I will try to be here when he wakes."

Castiel didn't wait for anymore arguments; letting his wings fling him from the room and through time and space and away from his charge. The guilt was still there; a heavy passenger during his flight. He only hoped that Dean could eventually forgive him for what he had needed to do.


Dean was an idiot. Sam had suspected this before but now it was a fact of life. Dean Winchester was an emotionally constipated idiot…with wings!

Though to be fair the wings were new.

Dean's new appendages were huge, spanning the distance of the motel room and into the crammed closet someone had jokingly named a bathroom. A rich brown at the base where hard bone arched over his shoulders and blended into a softer, dusty blond that was reminiscent of Dean's hair towards the pointed ends of the feathers.

Dean was pissed.

Sam thought it was funny.

Or at least he had until they realized that Dean couldn't leave the room. Which meant that Sam had been acting as his 'go' boy for the past three days. Trips to the greasy dinner around the block, that Sam had his suspicions wasn't up to current health codes, and to the twenty-four hour liquor store across the street had filled his days along with trips to the library.

Three days ago it was funny…and okay it's still funny to watch Dean try to fit through the doorway to the bathroom. But enough was enough and Sam passed the point of being sick of Dean's bitching and moaning about being stuck in the room and not being able to take a shower. Today Dean had complained about not being able to jerk off properly….it had been the last straw.

"I mean c'mon Sam, what is the world coming to when a man can't even…."

"Dean I swear if you finish that sentence I'm never bringing you pie again."

Dean eyed Sam as if trying to gauge how serious his little brother was being.

"Fine…then figure out what the hell is wrong with me and you won't need to listen."

He sighed. He couldn't help it; they'd had this same conversation a dozen times over the three days Dean's been doing his 'angel' impression. "Why don't you just call Cas?"

And just like that Dean was clamped up again, mouth pressed in a tight line.

Cas hadn't been back in the three days after Dean had woken up, nor had he answered their calls. Dean had even prayed…though Sam wasn't supposed to know about that. Now Dean was refusing to even mention the angel's name.

Sam was now referring to his brother as a little girl pissed because her boyfriend stood her up. Of course he didn't say it out loud…Dean couldn't get into the bathroom but he had learned how to hit with his wings. And for how soft they looked the big fuckers hurt.

"He's probably just been busy…"

"Yeah to busy for m-us." Sam heard the slip even if Dean thought he hadn't. "So let's not interrupt whatever it is that's so important, like we could anyway, I don't need him. We don't need him."

"Yes you do Dean, because I can't find anything in any text that says how we can fix this and neither has Bobby. Which probably has something to do with the fact that we don't know what caused it in the first place."

"I told you it was probably that dick Raphael." Dean was now slumped forward in a hard back chair at the rickety table that served as the 'kitchen' area of the room. His wings were spread wide on either side of him, and his back curved to keep them from pressing into the chair.

"Even if it was him we don't know how he did it and we can't fix it when we don't know what caused it. And if it was Raphael's doing than the only person that'll be able to help in another angel."

"Yeah, yeah so you've said."

"And yet you won't listen."

Dean could be a stubborn bastard at times.

"How about you go get some pie Sam." Dean apparently wanted to put an end to the topic.

"And how about you stopped acting like a love-sick teenage girl and call Cas."

Sam hadn't thought it was possible for Dean's lips to get any thinner.

He had been wrong.

"I don't see how Dean can be compared to a teenage girl." The rough voice that could only belong to one person in creation followed on the heels of the rustling of wings.

If Sam hadn't been looking he probably would have missed it…as it was he had been watching his brother when Cas appeared and as such witnessed the way Dean lit up when he saw the angel. It wasn't anything big and it passed in a blink, but Sam noticed the way Dean's eyes brightened and his shoulders relaxed. His face went calm and quit….he looked happy. Until he seemed to remember he was pissed at Castiel and his whole body tightened.

"Hello Dean, Sam."

Sam turned to Castiel to reply in greeting only to find him staring at Dean. Which wasn't unusually, hell he found it weird when the two weren't staring, but this time seemed different. Cas seemed…awed. Sam followed his line of sight and found that Castiel was not in fact staring at Dean but at his wings.

And Dean….Dean was staring to, looking at Castiel as though he had never seen him before. As though the angel was some new, fascinating creature….and okay, yes angel but it wasn't like Dean hadn't already known that.

What else had been done to his big brother to go along with the wings?

"Sam. Pie." Dean didn't move his eyes from Castiel as he spoke and that was fine because Sam really didn't need Dean to look at him to know he was being dismissed.

Neither was he going to argue…because the staring was getting weird and bordering on the edges of eye fucking. And there were just some things he really-really didn't need to see.

He mumbled something about beer and bringing Dean a burger back while he picked up his jacket that he had flung on a chair near the door. He didn't even look back as he retreated…it might be blasphemous but he prayed that whatever Dean was planning to do to the angel would be done by the time he came back.

He liked being able to see….


He should be pissed…and he was…maybe. He didn't really know because the moment he had caught sight of Castiel his mind had screeched to a halt. His lips moved as though they were trying to form words but couldn't….Dean Winchester was speechless.

Yes, apparently it could happen.

Lust raced through his blood edged with fear and tingled with something akin to awe. The lust angered him as did the fear….Castiel would never hurt him Dean knew that now and he had thought he had gotten over those wayward thoughts and sweaty dreams about Castiel that used to plague his mind. Used to being the operative word…then Castiel had left him sitting in the Impala her seats feeling unnaturally cold only to show up resembling the dick he had been when they first met.

Which was why he hadn't been as welcoming to Cas as he should have been. But in his defense he had never actually believed Castiel would respond to that half-assed mock of a prayer. So when he had opened his eyes and looked passed Sam to see the angel in flesh wearing the trench-coat and suit….he had been shocked.

He was shocked again. Now. At this moment. Because knowing Cas was something other, something stronger and more divine that human. Knowing he was an angel was a hell-of-a lot different than seeing it. And he was seeing it….the wings at least.

They were larger, far larger than his, and a dark inky black that mixed and blended beautifully with a dark blue that Dean thought would be the same color of Cas' eyes when lust was riding him and he was in the clutch of pleasure.

….He really-really didn't need to be thinking about that at this moment.

"Ah, hey Cas." Dean said after minutes had stretched on without neither of them speaking.


Dean didn't see him move but one moment Cas was near the door on the opposite side of the room, the next he was standing next to Dean with his fingers tunneling through the feathers of Dean's left wing.

Pleasure like Dean had never felt before coursed through him, making his knees quiver and if he hadn't been sitting he would have fallen on his ass.

"Ah, Cas? What are…?"

"They are beautiful; I had not allowed myself to think about what they would look like if you were to gain them. But…." His touch caught on a lump of gnarled feathers and Castiel worked them free while Dean fought back a moan.

"Wait…Did you…Did you…"It was hard for him to organize his thoughts with Cas playing with him like this. He could feel himself hardening between his thighs…and fuck that wasn't good. Couldn't be good. "Did you know that this was going to happen?"

"Maybe." Which was totally a yes. "I had known it was a possibility when I transferred a portion of my grace to you."

Castiel sounded distracted and his eyes were on his hand. Dean's fingers itched with the need to return Cas' touch.

"What do you mean?" Cas didn't answer and Dean finally pulled back, breaking Castiel's hold on him.

"I'm sorry Dean…I don't know why I…I don't know what came over me."

Since all of Dean's blood was heading south it took his brain a moment or two to figure out that Cas was not apologizing for the grace thing but was sorry for having touched him. Which had been weird, yes, but Dean had thought he needed and apology.

"That's…whatever. What I want to know is what did you mean about the grace thing."

Cas shifted his eyes away and Dean stood, moving until Cas had no choice but to look at him.


"I….I needed to save you Dean. I couldn't allow you to die."

"What's that got to…"

"You were dying, Raphael…."Cas stopped, mouth shifting as though testing the words he wanted to say. "Giving you a portion of my grace was the only way to save you." Blue eyes peered up at him beneath long, curly black lashes. "I couldn't let you die."


"It was only a small portion and I had not known you would receive wings from it. It was a suspicion but I had not known for sure. I am just now getting use to my new 'upgrade' as would call it. Had this happened before when I was… would not have been affected by the transfer as such since I was not as powerful at that time."

Cas was shifting nervously, something Dean had never seen before and if it had been another time he would have made fun of the angel for it. As it was he was too busy replaying the words in his head. Cas lifted his eyes from Dean to the wall behind him and…Dean didn't like that.

"So….so there's a piece of your grace inside me?"

Dean stayed quiet the moments that followed, stubbornly waiting out Cas. It probably wasn't a good idea seeing as how the angel could shame a brick wall when he wanted to.

"Yes." He answered, still not returning Dean's gaze. "It is holding your soul together."


"In theory you can live without a soul, be able to function properly. But would you have still been human…? Still Dean…? I didn't know. I couldn't take the chance."

…And that was…Wow.

"That, um, that had to hurt. Ripping out a piece of your soul."

Cas shrugged….or at least that was the best name Dean could come up with to describe it. The move was too smooth, too non-human to be a simple shrug but Dean didn't know what else to call it.

"It was worth it."

Dean scoffed. "I'm not so sure."

Cas looked at him then, head tilt and expression toeing the line of anger.

"Right, right, no self-loathing. Got it." They'd had this talk before, even if it had been some time ago. "But seriously why would you do that Cas? Put yourself through that pain, why?"

Cas' blue eyes swam…and holy shit the angel was tearing up.

"Do you honestly not know Dean?"

And apparently they were going to talk about it….Dean wasn't sure he wanted to…hell he knew he didn't want to. He was a Winchester damn-it. So instead Dean allowed his feet to eat up the short distance that separated him from the angel that had done so much for him. Too much.



The kiss was slow, surprising Dean, and gentle. A soft press of lips, Cas' slightly chapped but plush moving beneath his own. The fingers of one of Dean's hands toyed with the hair at the nap of Cas' neck, the other smoothing over the trench coat to find one of Cas' wings.

The angel purred, fucking purred, as Dean stroked his wing bone where it met his back. Dean wondered off-handily how they worked with the coat and suit but ignored the thought when Cas began removing said coat. The beige cloth crumpled to the floor at their feet and soon was followed by the suit jacket. Dean worked the buttons of Cas' shirt with the hand not petting Cas' wing. It made for interesting work but eventually the last button popped free.

Castiel's chest was bare to him and Dean mapped out the plains of Cas' naked flesh with one had while the other learned the soft folds of Cas' wing. Cas returned the favor, gripping a wing joint tightly and doing something with his fingers that had Dean withering in his arms.

"Cas!" Dean bit his lip. He could probably come like this, with Castiel stroking his wing. And fuck it would be hot. So damn hot. But Dean had other plans in mind for tonight. "I want you to fuck me Cas."

Dean had thought about it, dreamt about it, and stroked his dick to images of it playing through his mind. He wanted it. Needed it.

"Dean." Cas sound's wreck and Dean knows that Cas will give him what he needs. Will always give him what he needs.

Things move quickly then, lost in the blur of passion filled fog that weighs on his mind. And before Dean knows it he's naked in the middle of the rickety twin bed that Sam's been using, and yeah his baby bro was going to bitch about it but right now Dean doesn't really give a fuck…not when Cas is about to fuck him.

The angel's standing by the bed, watching Dean with dark eyes. Eyes full of lust and another four letter 'L' word that Dean doesn't want to think of at this moment. Instead he strokes Castiel with his eyes, painting the tanned flesh and sharp angle's in his mind. His gaze ends up on the hardness between Cas' milky smooth thighs. His dick is red and dripping pre-come from the crown and beckoning to Dean like a naught lollipop. Dean's mouth aches with the need to be filled with it and….it's so much hotter than he had ever pictured.

Dean slips a hand behind Cas' back, pulling him forward while reaching for a wing. Cas' cock jerks as Dean runs his fingers through the down of the wing and Dean smirk's at the reaction. He could probably make Cas come like this….

The angel, his angel, groans deep in his chest when Dean licks at the head of his cock. A hand slips back down to one of Dean's wings and Dean has to take a breath to steady himself. It's a give and give then. Dean working Cas' luscious dick with his mouth and tongue and teasing nip of teeth. Cas playing with Dean's wings, fingers trailing in the down and over the space where skin and bone meet. It makes pleasure zing up Dean's spine…and maybe wings aren't so bad after all.

Cas' hips start to dance, wanting to snap forward, and Dean pulls back. His mouth leaves Cas, a string of saliva trailing from his swollen lips to Cas' flesh. It's such a wanton sight that Dean has to reach a hand between his legs and squeeze the base of his cock to keep from coming.

When Dean looks up at Cas his eyes are no longer dark, their filled with a bright light. His true form close to the surface…. And yes Dean is smugly proud of himself for that.

"Cas." Apparently he's been reduced to those three letters.

He finds out the benefits of fucking an angel when he's rolled onto his back and Cas wastes no time in sliding a slick finger inside him. It's cold and wet and so damn good, Dean spreads his legs wider and holds onto Cas' wings while the angel does downright sinful things to his cock with that mouth that Dean spent far too much time thinking about.

And he really, really should care about that. The whole angel, sex thing that was going on. But he couldn't find the brain cells to put together to give a fuck.

Cas was good at this…too damn good…and if Dean hadn't known better he'd have said the angel had done this before. As it was Dean did know better, which meant Cas just knew him well enough to know what he liked. The bastard was probably cheating and reading his mind, but as two fingers slipped-slid into three and pressed against that nice little button deep inside him Dean didn't care. If Cas was going to cheat Dean couldn't think of a better subject for him to do it on.

When he couldn't handle it anymore, when the slick suction of Cas' mouth had him on edge, he pulled him back up and kissed the taste of himself from Cas' tongue.

"Please." He would beg if need be…he would be pissed and embarrassed by it later…but he would beg if Cas needed him to. As long as the fucking angel gave him what he needed. "Please Cas."

"I know Dean…I….It feels…." Cas decides that's a good time to stop talking and Dean agrees because now Cas is pushing inside. Opening him up on his dick and even though Cas had prepared him there's still a burn as the wide length stretches him.

Cas fucks like he does everything else….with intensity….he keeps a grip on one of Dean's wings and another on his hip. Skin meets skin and the sound feels the room along with the occasional 'Fuck…please….more….harder you bastard' from Dean.

Cas is biting at Dean's neck and licking at his ear and breathing out hot words in Enochian. Dean loves it and he'll shoot and bury anyone who ever mentions it but he spreads his legs wider and takes it. Asking for more when Cas seems to hold back.

The springs are whining against the abuse and the headboard is smacking hard against the wall, chipping the plaster. Dean knows he'll feel it in the morning and the though makes him scratch at the skin between Cas' wings, a vain attempt to mark his lover.

"Dean." Cas is shaking now, his hips loosing rhythm.

"It's okay."

And it is because Dean's there, right there at the edge without needing his dick touched. And when Cas tongues at a wing, tracing a bone with the wet warm tip, Dean comes. Sputtering between their bellies and staining both of them with the evidence of what just occurred.

Dean thinks he could become addict to the feeling of Cas coming inside him and apart on top of him. He brightens with that inner light that must be his grace and for a split second Dean fears that Cas will blind him. Then the light is gone and Cas is slumping over him and holding him and kissing him.

Dean thinks he could get use to the wings and that angel that came with them.


Sam's been blinded, his eyes melted from their sockets. Now he only wishes he could bleach his brain. There were some things one should not have to see in their short lifetime….finding your brother naked and covered in…. on your bed with an equally naked angel on top of him and the angel's dick in your brother's ass.

Sam would forever be scarred….

….And blind.

A/N: Thanking you for reading….hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did.