Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Rizzoli & Isles Universe. They belong to Tess Geritson, not me. :(

Rating: T

Summary: When Maura ends up in the hospital, surprising revelations are made. Things come to light that will shock Boston PD for good. The perfect relationship was not so perfect, in fact, nothing about it was. Jane/Maura

The morgue was a flurry of activity. It typically wasn't full abuzz, only Dr. Maura Isles and the corpse she was autopsying, but now it was full of activity and the center of was Dr. Maura Isles herself.

She couldn't concentrate something very rare for Medical Examiner Dr. Maura Isles. The usually put together M.E. was sick. One could tell that it wasn't recent either just by glancing her way. No, Maura had been sick for a while, two months to be exact. And the cause? One Detective Jane Rizzoli.

The two had been together for two years before the shooting that had occurred six months ago. Jane and Maura had been happy. So in love, the love Maura had once described as intoxicating, under the effects of a substance. It had been them. So happy, truly in love. Until the shooting. Jane, always trying to save the ones she loved, shot herself to save Frankie. He had been dying slowly and painfully on one of Maura's autopsy tables. Or so Jane had thought. In reality, SWAT had breached the building, and Frankie loaded into an ambulance within minutes.

Oh, God, Frankie. It hurt her so much to think of him. The one person Jane had entrusted to her care, and to watch him lay on the table, with blood pouring out of the incision as he struggled to breathe. The room was spinning, her thoughts spiraling out of control she struggled to maintain her grasp on reality; her vision blurring, she fought for control of her limbs. Her fingers and toes were slowly growing numb. Maura was alone, with no one to hear her faint cries. Her breathing grew labored, and her mind even hazier. Oddly enough, she maintained one thought: 'This must be what being drugged by chloroform feels like.' Internally she winced, just that single thought made her brain ache, as it struggled to regain control of her fading body. She retched as a wave of nausea rolled over her. Vomiting blood, she slowly sank to her knees, with her last feeble attempts to remain standing backfiring. The last coherent thought in her brain being 'Jane, I love you', before her world turned black.

Medical equipment surrounded her delicate form. Her body was petite enough already, but combined with sleepless nights and a lack of eating, Maura's frame looked like that of a rag doll. Limp, with her limps splayed out the way she had fallen.

Jane heard the sirens before she saw the ambulance. It pulled up around the back of the precinct as she stepped out of her car, coming back from picking up lunch for her, Barry, and Vince. Quickly she hurried into the building to find out the latest news.

"Frost," she barked seeing the younger detective standing next to her desk. She handed him his lunch, before asking the obvious question, "What's happening? Who's hurt?"

"Janeā€¦" his voice was soft and gentle. "I'm so sorry-"

"No, not Frankie! Please-" her voice was frantic. "Not again."

"No, Jane. He's fine. It's Maura."

His words chilled her to the bone, yet she showed no outward expression. "What happened?" she asked carelessly, sitting down. Jane opened a report she was working on, and took a bite out of her sandwich as she began working, much to Frost's disbelieve.

"She collapsed in the lab. It's bad Jane. The EMTs said she stopped breathing. Her numbers don't look either. They said she'd been sick a long time," he said. "Korsak and I are heading out there now. Want a ride?"

"Nope, I'm swamped with paperwork. Thanks though," she replied.

"Jane," Korsak's voice came from behind her. "Did you really just say that? The woman you love is in the hospital. Are you really just going to sit there?"

"Loved, Korsak," Jane spat. "We aren't together anymore, remember?"

"Jane, I know the past few months have been hard-" Korsak began.

"Hard? Try torture. Maura, she didn't help any either."

"Do you even know what she went through Jane? Do you?" Frost snarled. "She's been through hell and back with you, for you, and you throw her away like she's nothing. An old broken toy."

"Here," Korsak threw a thick folder on her desk. "Read this. Maybe you'll understand what she's been through.

Jane opened the folder after the two had left. It was a psychological profile of one Dr. Maura Isles, and it was about 2 inches thick. 'How bad was it? Maura couldn't have been this messed up , could she? Hell, even she wasn't this bad, and she was the one who had shot herself!' Jane thought staring in awe at the amount of paper displacing Maura's thoughts, secrets and psychological mindset.

She pulled out the top few papers, they were dated from the week prior. Reading them made her heart clench and her insides freeze, but she forced herself to keep reading. 'Damn it! How could I do this to her!' was the phrase running continuously through her mind. 'How could I have been so blind?'

You knew though. You knew what she was doing to herself. You chose to ignore her obvious pain, and focus on yours. This is your fault. You did this to her. The voice in her head berated her. You knew, but turned a blind eye to everyone but yourself. You wanted to her suffer.

That last though caused her to break down. It was true. She had seen Maura suffering, her painful nights filled with screaming and torturous nightmares. She knew this, yet turned her back on her girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Jane had to continuously remind herself of that fact. She had broken Maura's heart by leaving her. She had blamed her for everything. And Maura being Maura, had taken it all, not letting it break her, the worst part of it all was, she had believed her. The fight had been terrible, yelling, screaming, cursing, all her own in that regard, and crying. Both she and Maura had cried, but the M.E.'s sobs had broken her heard. Jane had caused Maura so much pain, so much angst, so much turmoil. The way she had made her feel. Worthless, stupid, not worth her time.

She had to see her. Maura may not love her, but she had to make things right. She had to, for both their sanity.