First of many one shots, none of them related.

C x

Lyrics "The Hardest Thing" by The Script


Nobody had ever thought me to be a particularly romantic man, least of all myself. Don't ask me how she changed that, but she did. Everybody commented on the change in me, since we had met, when we married and when…it happened. There had been a few loves of my life before her, a couple of girls I presumed I'd be content to stay with forever, but I'd left them behind for my dream. I'd never thought that they would forgive me, but there stood their Congratulations cards on the window sill when we announced our engagement, married…and now.

Now when I leave, there's emptiness in the bed that we both feel, but she thinks I ignore. I leave her, therefore I am heartless. She should know above anybody how hard it is to leave; after all, she only left the road a few months ago herself.

She rolls over when the alarm blares, opens her blue eyes, but says nothing. It looks painful for her to be awake, her eyes overcome with redness and fresh tears. She asks me to stay, but she knows I can't.

I sleep all night,
Right by your side
I love to hear you breathing, breathing
The morning light
Opens my eyes
It's nearly time for leaving, leaving
I know that it seems
Like it's easy for me
I wish you could feel
What's going on inside of me

It's almost eight by the time I make it to my car, and she insists she's coming with me. Her hair is up in a knot on her head, her bag hastily thrown together. She doesn't have a ticket to where I'm going, a gentle sentence spoken to her that throws her into fresh turmoil. I wouldn't want a ticket to where she is, she screams, tears back inside our house that was so close to being a home.

It's the hardest thing I ever have to do
To walk away from you
When I wanna hold you
It's the hardest thing in every single day
To have to turn away
I want you to know that
This is the hardest thing

I make it to the hotel by three, and there are no messages waiting for me on my Blackberry, nothing at reception. The guys drag me to the gym, and the few who don't know what's happened ask me what's wrong, I'm usually the one dragging them. Their laughter echoes and stops when they realise I am not the same. Pulled to one side, they are quietly chastised by one of my oldest friends. Their horrified apologies barely make my ears. I shouldn't have left her. I shouldn't have been able to leave her.

Another day
Is years away
I close my eyes
To see your face
The more I wait
The longer it takes
It feels like time is standing still
Where ever you go
What ever you do
I want you to know
That you are on my mind

I feel my phone vibrate before it actually does. Her text simply reads, '…So it goes'.

Her friends ask me how she is feeling, and if there's anything they can do for us. They know they can't.

It's the hardest thing I ever have to do
To walk away from you
When I wanna hold you
It's the hardest thing in every single day
To have to turn away
I want you to know that
This is the hardest thing

I go through the motions that night, and ask for time off the second I find Vince. He understands, remarks he's surprised to see me at all. I should take as long, he stresses, as we both need. The stage will be ours once this has passed.

Just to let go of your hands
To make you understand that to love you
Feel you
Till the time I see you again
It's the hardest thing

The office manages to get me on the first flight back to Florida, back to her. Back to us. She needs me now, more than she ever has. She knows that I need her. The flight drags, but the drive home seems to take seconds, trees and buildings flying past me.

It's the hardest thing I ever have to do
To walk away from you
When I wanna hold you
It's the hardest thing in every single day
To have to turn away
I want you to know that
This is the hardest thing

The house is far from silent when I arrive. A wailing noise emits from the room that we do not touch, the door that remains closed. My eyes focus once more on the cards from all of our friends, and it is then that they truly see the word written on the front. Condolences. I throw it down, and open the door that I haven't touched in weeks. The nursery door.

There she sits, slumped in a corner, baby's blanket around her. The room is destroyed, just like her. Just like me.

We talk like we have never talked before when she slides into my arms and screams, frail hands grasping for anything she can touch. I notice the bandage on her wrist, and peel it back. The newly tattooed words engrain themselves into my brain, For Sale: baby's shoes, never worn.

We sleep together on the floor, her head cradled into my shoulder. The sound of her steadily breathing for the first time in weeks consumes me.

I sleep all night
Right by your side
I love to hear you breathing, breathing