"Hey, kiddies! This is Wade Wilson, AKA The Lovable Deadpool here, with my own written chapter of Deadpool and his Inferior friends. You're probably wondering; where's BrenRome, well, funny thing happened to him. He was on his way to Egypt for a school trip and..."
ALL RIGHT WADE! THAT DOES IT! YOU ARE NOT A REAL CHARACTER, AND YOU ARE CERTINATELY NOT THE AUTHOR OF THIS STORY!
"So whatcha gonna do about it, when Pool-a-mania goes wild on you, dude!"
Oh, nothing, Wade. Just this. (Before we begin also, I should just say that I own nothing here. Especially not this nutjob thank god. This is for fan-purposes only, so please, don't sue!)
Before Wade could tell what happened next, he was instantly paralyzed when he bumped into someone who's voice shocked him to his core.
"Dude, no way!" A voice similar to Wade's exclaimed.
Wade looked up and saw that he had bumped into a person who was dressed like him, only his black lines ran right up into his mask and into his eye holes.
"Yes, way!" 616 Wade announced, "Let me guess, you're supposed to be some version of me from a parallel reality, right?"
"Yup," Ultimate Deadpool said, "One with a multi-million dollar TV show. The best that pay-per-view can afford."
"Sooo, whatcha doing here?" 616 Deadpool asked.
"Mephisto promised me to bring back HEROES if I could help him defeat everyone here!" Ultimate Deadpool announced, "I figured I'd start with you."
"You don't mean..." 616 Deadpool began, drawing his sword.
"Oh, yeah," Ultimate Deadpool said, beginning to draw whatever weapon he had strapped to his back, "I CHALLENGE YOU...TO GUITAR HERO!"
"BRING IT ON! I...wait! What?" 616 Deadpool asked, confused, as he realized that his counterpart had drawn a Guitar Hero controller.
"It's the best I could come up with." Ultimate Deadpool admitted as a controller appeared in 616 Deadpool's hands, and the two suddenly found themselves transported away from the playing field.
616 Deadpool looked in front of him to see there was nothing bellow him but fire, save for the only platform he was standing on. Turning to his right, he saw his Ultimate-self on his own platform, and then two Guitar Hero Arcade Game's appeared in front of the two mercenaries.
"BEGIN!" Ultimate Deadpool said in his best 'Mortal Kombat Announcer' voice.
The arcade machines started up, with the two instantly thrust into VS Mode on the machine. 616 Wade tried to figure out how to use the controller (as he was not an avid gamer, unfortunately [suck it, Wade! LOL],) and the music began playing as 616 Deadpool desperately tried to play Pat Benatar's 'Hit Me with your Best Shot,' with no avail. Looking to his right, he saw his cooler-universe-self shredding out on Guns N Roses 'Welcome to the Jungle.'
This is insane! 616 Deadpool thought to himself, And I'm supposed to be the insane guy, so that must mean we're creating a chain-reaction that could unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and...wait! Not that movie! Just focus, Wilson!
616 Deadpool desperately tried to step up his game, but found that both songs had ended and that he had scored far less than his counterpart did.
"Game over, sucker." Ultimate Deadpool chuckled as 616 Deadpool looked at the screen in front of him, knowing something bad was going to happen.
"Mommy." 616 Deadpool whispered before the machine opened up, revealing a boxing glove that punched him straight in the cajones, sending him flying over the battle taking place bellow him, before he hit the far end of a mountain, having all his bones shatter upon impact. 616 Deadpool felt himself peel off the mountain, before he fell and hit the ground hard. Looking up weakly as his regenerative abilities were still trying to repair the major damage, he saw his Ultimate-self, standing over him, and axe raised, ready to chop off his head.
"There can only be one Highlander!" Ultimate Wade quipped, victoriously.
"So it might as well be me!" A new voice called.
Looking to his right, Ultimate Deadpool was able to see a female version of his wimpy self, before she cut of Wadey's head, and the body slumped to the ground dead.
"Thanks for the help, Wanda," Deadpool thanked, as his female-universe-self helped him up, "That guy was a real pain in my anus."
"Yeah," Lady Deadpool agreed, before looking at the battle still raging on in front of them, "C'mon, Wade. Let's kick some ass and get chinky with it, before you have your big moment in the fanfiction."
"Okay!" Deadpool agreed, thankfull that he didn't have to refer to himself as 616 Deadpool anymore, before taking off to rejoin the battle.
616 Peter's Spider-Sense screamed at him, as he avoided the arms of many winged demons, and fireballs from OTHER demons, while attending to helping the multitude of multiverse heroes battle against the army of Mephisto.
Peter! Doctor Strange's voice rang in his ear, I am about to tell you information that you and your other selfs must need in order to win the fight!
Tell me, Doc. 616 Peter thought back, web-slinging himself so that his feet would knock another enemy out of the way.
Only you and your other selfs must weaken Mephisto and then force him to restore reality, Strange explained, I cannot, unfortunately, tell you how to weaken him, but when you do, I, along with the other mystics I have gathered, will be able to stop him from causing any more harm once he restores reality.
Sounds like a plan! 616 Peter agreed, as he began making his way towards the Demon-Lord's throne.
One last thing, though, Strange said, a hint of worry in his voice, and do understand, Peter, I don't know how to say this...but once he restores reality the way it should...everything that happened in the original time-line will snap back into place.
616 Peter felt a hard punch in the chest the moment he heard those words. He knew what this meant. As soon as this was over. He was going to face everything he had to in his 'past-life.' His identity being publically known, his Aunt's death. But that was what made him decide to commit to it. He was Spider-Man. With his power that he had, he had to use it responsibly.
All righty then, Doc, 616 Peter though back, Just keep those others away from us, and may the force be with you all.
He signaled for his web-heads to follow, and the four sensational spiders began moving towards the other side of the mountain. Halfway, though, each of their Spider-Senses rang out, and they moved out of the way, just in time to avoid being incinerated by a demonically-enhanced pumpkin bomb.
"Oh great." 616 Peter said, as he saw Norman Osborn, dressed in his Goblin Costume, without his mask, though, which showed his famous haircut and now new-demonically-glowing eyes, "I should have known McGobster would be here."
"Is it me, or does everyone we seem to fight or ally with look like someone we know?" Ultimate Spider-Man asked, seeing how this Norman looked so much like if Tommy Lee Jones and OJ Simpson had a love baby.
"Amusing, little Spiders," Norman cackled, as he approached them, "I've always wanted to kill MY spider, but the chance to kill FOUR at once? Somebody up there must really love me."
"That means someone on Earth must REALLY hate you." A familiar voice called, before Norman rolled out of the way to avoid another pumpkin bomb.
The four Spider-Men looked above them, and 616 Peter didn't have time to explain who they were. Standing on their own gliders was 616 Harry Osborn (dressed in his own Goblin costume without the mask like his dad, but minus the evil eyes,) who hovered next to Lilly Hoilster, AKA Menace. 616 Spidey noticed that Lilly seemed to be even MORE pregnant than last time he saw her when Norman had implanted his own seed into her, and figured this must be the stage when the baby was ready to be born any second now.
"Harry!" 616 Peter called, before his best friend interrupted.
"No time, Spider-Man!" He said, with hints of certainty in his voice, "I know Mary Jane's up there. All three, just save them and end this. This is between me, my Dad, and Lilly!"
Harry was knocked off his Glider by a demonic beam from the senior Osborn, but was saved by Lilly who swooped down and grabbed him before Harry took out three pumpkin bombs and began throwing them at his Dad.
"GO!" He ordered.
616 Peter was going to say something but stopped. Harry was right.
"C'mon, guys," He said, "Let's let the three resolve their anger issues. We've got a demon-lord to dethrone."
With that, the four shot their web-lines upward, pulling themselves back hard, before propelling themselves upwards and straight towards the back of Mephisto's head, which they kicked at.
None of the Spider-Men were sure if it would do any significant damage, but surprisingly, it did, and sent Mephisto down to the ground, as he went over the Mary Jane's before falling to the ground over the mountain.
The Spider-Men worked hard and within a second, had the Mary Jane's free. Ultimate and Noir Peter and Mary Jane each embraced their respected universe-lovers arms instantly, but the reunion between the Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson of Earth 616 was the most touching.
"Peter!" 616 Mary Jane cried, holding him tightly, "I'm so sorry...it was my fault and I didn't remember..."
"No, Mary Jane..." 616 Peter argued, holding her tighter, "I'm the one who agreed to it and didn't stop him."
"Peter..." 616 Mary Jane began before they interupted.
"Oh, god! Spare us the Oprah moment!" Ultimate Mary Jane called, as everyone looked at her, "It's just like; 'It's my fault!' 'No, it's mine!' Dear lord! You think we're all in a drama show on Lifetime, for crying out loud!"
She took a moment to catch her breath before 616 Peter and Mary Jane smiled at each other, before 616 Mary Jane remembered.
"Peter..." She said, "Mephisto..."
"Wha..." Peter said, before remembering, "Oh, right! Right. You girls find cover!"
The Mary Janes did as they were told as the Spider-Men went down to where Mephisto had landed to see him engaged in battle with Lilly. However, he sliced her as she screamed in pain, and suddenly acted like she was spazing out.
As Mephisto picked her up, he finally noticed the Spiders and just smiled.
"Ah, my Spiders," He greeted, jokingly, with a wicked smile, "You're just in time to finally witness the birth of Lilly Hoilster and Norman Osborn's child! Let's see what they look like..."
Before he could slice open Lilly, Miguel used his precog powers to slow down time, and get Lilly as far away from the Demon-Lord as possible and into the hands of 616 Mary Jane. As soon as she realized that she was carrying Lilly and that Miguel was standing next to her, she stopped with the other Mary Janes.
"I think she's going to give birth now!" Miguel quickly explained, shooting a web back to the other Spider-Men, "Sorry, ladies, but it looks like you have to get this on your own!"
With that, he slung himself back to the battlefield, where the other Spiders weren't doing so well.
Each time they would try and punch or kick Mephisto, he would instantly raise one hand and create a sort-of force field, blocking the attacks. The other hand was being used to send a wave of fire out that the Spider-Men could dodge just barely. Obviously, they had their Spider-Senses, but against a demon-lord like Mephisto? None of their senses were ever designed for something like this.
"Just give up, Spider-Men," Mephisto called, shooting another wave of fire out, "I already have what I need what does it matter to you?"
"Everything." 616 Peter announced, trying to punch Mephisto.
Meanwhile, things for Harry and his Dad were also not going so well. Both Osborns had the goblin serum in them, and both had enough experience in wearing the costume that had haunted America for so long. It was an even standstill for the moment being.
"You've always been a disappointment, Harry," Norman chided, blocking a punch from his son, "But this? This time, there are no words to describe how disappointed I am with you today, boy!"
"Same here, 'Dad.'" Harry shot back, kicking Norman in the stones, "Same here."
"Ungrateful little boy...!" Norman cursed under his breath, throwing out a razor bat, and throwing multiple ones at his son.
Harry tried dodging them, but eventually, they caught up to him, and one succeeded in slicing his chest and right arm, and he fell to the ground in pain.
"Harry!" 616 Peter called as the other Spider-Men turned.
At this moment, Mephisto used this opportunity to blast the Spider-Men in the back, as they fell to the ground as well in extreme pain also. Their pain was greater. None of the Spiders had ever fought Mephisto in full strength like this before, but after that blow, they could barely even get up.
"A pity, my friends," Mephisto said, looking at the weakened Spider-Men, "That you did not take your opportunity to leave when you had the chance. However, I will take some pity on you, and erase you from existiance. Farewell."
He raised his hand, ready to bring it down, but then something unexpected happened.
"Hey! Lord of the Lies!" Deadpool called, sailing to him, "You can't kill the Spider-Men! You are a demon. But me? I AM A MAN!"
After using a line that would probably get Marvel sued by both DC and Channel Awesome in the next few weeks, Deadpool punched Mephisto in the cheek and...it actually worked!
The Spider-Men heard a cracking noise as the Demon-Lord who had caused the Spider-Men so much trouble cried out in pain, falling backwards, and then collapsing on the ground with a giant 'Thud!' Norman tried to say something, but was cut short, when Lady Deadpool shot Norman in the back with a tranquilizer dart.
Deadpool then began to moon the narrator with his butt and crack insults about how he couldn't get the story up sooner...okay, Deadpool. That's it. I tried to do this the easy way, but you've gone too far.
"And what are you going to do about that?" Deadpool asked.
"MAKE OUT WITH ME!" An evil version of Squirrel Girl cried out, tackling Deadpool, and bringing him away from the main battle.
That's what, Deadpool.
Wait a minute! 616 Peter thought, realizing what he had to do now, That's it!
"Guys!" He called to his friends, "I got it! I know what we have to do!"
The other Spider-Men got up, and in that moment, knew what he was talking about.
As Mephisto rose again, 616 Spider-Man swung towards him, kicking him in the face, which knocked him back down.
They should've seen it before. The reason Mephisto wanted the marriage in the first place, was because of the love that 616 Peter and Mary Jane shared for each other. A love so universally big that it could be used as any powerful weapon. And that's just what the four fantastical Spider-Men were doing now.
As Mephisto tried to conjure up a spell, he suddenly screamed in pain as Ultimate Spider-Man slammed his fist down hard on the demon-lord's crotch, shattering them.
"You lie to me..." 616 Spider-Man exclaimed, remembering all of what he wanted with Mary Jane and all that he still could, as the other Spider-Men reached into their own sub-consciousness and pulled their strongest memories out before striking, "You steal my marriage. Kidnap my girlfriend. Kidnap my other-selves girlfriends. You really think you're going to live one more day after this, Mephisto? Do you?"
"ENOUGH!" Mephisto roared, as he threw the other Spider-Men off him, "I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED! LEAST OF ALL BY SOME PATHETIC MORALS WHO CANNOT..."
He stopped and noticed something.
"Where is he?" Mephisto demanded, "Where is the 'Noir' Spider-Man?"
"Doing whatever a Spider can!" Noir Spider-Man called, slamming his foot hard into Mephisto's back as he thought of his Aunt May.
The blow was enough, and Mephisto fell to the ground, now drained of all his power, and he reverted to the size of every other person still fighting around them.
616 Peter grabbed Mephisto by the neck, and brought him up to eye level.
"Put reality back the way it was!" 616 Peter demanded, "Now!"
Mephisto screamed, as he tried to break free, but could not due to the power that the Spider-Men were using.
"EVEN IF I DO!" He cried out, "YOUR AUNT WILL DIE AND YOUR IDENTITY WILL BE REVEALED AGAIN! IS THAT TRULY WHAT YOU WANT, PARKER? IS IT?"
616 Peter looked at Mephisto, then back to his other-selves, then to the Mary Janes (who were working to save Lilly,) and then back at the devil again.
"No." 616 Peter answered, truthfully, "It's not. But I took an oath long ago, monster; that I would use power responsibly. Now, I will."
"No!" Mephisto exclaimed, as he felt his power being drained by the Spider-Men's loves even more, "This can't be happening! No! NO!"
"GIVE ME MY FAMILY BACK!" 616 Spider-Man demanded.
Unable to fight it any longer, Mephisto had no choice.
"Very well!" He cried out, raising his hand, "I retract the deal I made with you and your wife! The world is put back to normal now, as it was before our deal!"
With that, a black vast array of energy shot out of Mephisto's hand. The Spider-Men went over to the Mary Jane's and covered their perspective universes' (minus Miguel who just covered his eyes with his arm,) as the tendrils went all over the world. In that instant, the entire planet was covered by this tendril and suddenly, images began appearing of how the world should've been. It was really just the same with the Skrull Invasion happening, and then leading up to Steve Rogers replacing Norman Osborn as America's top cop, but everyone saw that there was only one character who had a difference in these events; Spider-Man.
Finally, the tendrils stopped, and everyone looked around them. 616 Peter looked at Mary Jane carefully and the other Spider-Men and Mary Janes did the same as well.
"Mary Jane...?" 616 Peter asked, cautiously, "Are you okay?"
616 Mary Jane just smiled as she pulled something out of her pocket. 616 Peter looked at it and realized that it was his own wedding ring from when he had married Mary Jane in the REAL time-line.
"Just fine, Tiger," 616 Mary Jane smiled, "Now do you want to check your pocket, and see if you hit the jackpot again?"
616 Peter did so, and to his delight, found the ring that he used to propose to Mary Jane twice before in the original time-line.
"Looks like I did." 616 Peter laughed, as he took off his glove and Mary Jane slipped his ring back on, while he did the same for her.
The other Spider-Men broke out into cheers, as the other heroes did the same. The demons knew this was over, and fell, surrendering. Well, almost everyone.
At that moment, Mephisto tried to gain his last victory, by annihilating the Spider-Men, but suddenly, found his hand being pulled back by something. Looking back, he saw Julia Carpenter, Stephen Strange, Doctor Voodoo, Jennifer Kale, Daimon Hellstrom, and all the other mystics, opening a portal, that had chained his arms and legs and was beginning to pull him back.
"NO!" He cried, as he was pulled back, unable to fight from being so drained, "NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
With that, he was completely pulled into the portal which closed instantly as soon as he was brought in. Once it had closed, the Spider-Men and Mary Janes looked at the mystics confused.
"If I asked 'what the hell?' would I regret it?" Ultimate Mary Jane asked.
"Fear not, young Mary Jane," Stephen Strange chuckled, "We have simply sent Mephisto into another realm where he can no longer hurt us."
"Uh..." 616 Peter asked, "Strange? Not to be rude, but can we get on with it?"
"Of course, Peter," Strange said, as he let Peter do the talking to all those who had come to fight Mephisto.
"Thank you," He said, "I'm sorry I don't have much time to talk, but my Aunt might be dying now, so I want to get back as soon as possible. But I want to thank all of you for helping. Some know how much this marriage has meant to me. Those of you who don't, you have helped me in a way I can never repay you for. But thank you. You all are true heroes!"
Everyone cheered as Strange opened a portal and sent all the heroes back to their own universes. Finally, only he, Voodoo and the other Spider-Men were left.
"Well," 616 Peter announced as the portals to the Noir, Ultimate, and 2099 Universes opened up, "I guess this is goodbye again! Y'know, maybe we should have Poker Night sometime soon!"
"Yeah, right!" Miguel laughed, as he went into his portal, "You haven't seen how WE play poker in the future yet."
"Yeah," Ultimate Peter said, wrapping his arm around his Mary Jane, "And remember; I'm still 16 year old."
"Ah, right." 616 Mary Jane remembered.
"That isn't to say, of course, that I'll play you in Rock Band some time." Ultimate Peter cracked.
"Only when we get the connection of cross-dimensional-universes hooked up into the TV." 616 Peter laughed.
The four couples laughed, before the younger universe couple entered into their own portal. Finally, all that was left from another universe was the Noir Peter and Mary Jane.
"I'm sorry about your Aunt," Noir Peter said.
"It's okay," 616 Mary Jane assured him, "We'll get through this. We always do."
"Good to know," Noir Peter said, "Because if you can still carry on the good fight, I know you can get through this."
"Thanks, man." 616 Peter said, shaking Noir Peter's hand.
The Noir Peter and Mary Jane then turned, and entered into the portal, leaving 616 Peter and Mary Jane there with Strange and Voodoo.
"Let's go home." 616 Peter said to his wife.