Chapter 5 - Unforgiven

Hello everyone. I know it's been half a century since I last updated and for that I want to apologize, I have no real excuse for it though, I simply couldn't continue writing it, until a few weeks ago when it just .. came pouring it. I promise you lots of "fun" in this chapter. I hope you will forgive me and send a review even though I am an awful author.

The following days Hermione spent cleaning various rooms until her arms and legs felt like they were about to come off. She had not spoken to Heather or any of the other girls since that day, and wasn't planning on doing so either. Busying herself with work was the only way she could continue living without feeling as though she was about to vomit every waking second.

It was Sunday morning and Hermione stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom, taking in the appearance of herself; a worn girl with haunted-looking eyes. She had succesfully avoided Bellatrix the last few days and today was the last day of her visit. She reached for the hairbrush on the rack above the mirror and began to brush her hair, slowly, careful not to let it get entangled. Lucius had actually been smart enough to avoid her, as well as his wife. He was almost never in the house these days. But it also meant that his magical routines were no longer existent and Hermione's hair had gone back to being bushy and impossible to tame.

She placed the hairbrush on the sink and kept staring at her own reflection. She looked tired. She had bags under her eyes and her eyes were bloodshot, she looked as though she hadn't slept for days. They were two dark brown orbs that stared back at her with no sign of life behind them. The twinkle in her eyes had died a long time ago, when she realised for the first time that this was her destiny: To serve the Malfoys until the day she died.

There was no way of escaping. She had tried. It wasn't worth it. She remembered the pain and twitched as her hands wanted to automatically shield her. However there is no way of shielding yourself from the curses they cast, the curses that take you off guard each and every time; that send flames through your body making your skin boil and your insides burst. Hermione shook her head and tried to rid herself of the memories that haunted her every day. She had adjusted, and well. But now, she was beginning to feel the way she had those first weeks after being captured. Alone, scared and.. fragile. She knows she should be angry, furious actually, for what they had done to her. But the grief was too overwhelming and numbed the feeling of anger. She couldn't stop thinking about... her.

She was leaving tonight. Leaving her. As much as she hated Bellatrix she couldn't stand the thought of not seeing her again. In fact she didn't hate her at all. She just couldn't understand her way of thinking. Her jaw clenched as the memory of Lucius lying on top of her swept over her once again and she felt her eyes burn from the tears that wanted to seep through. She wanted him to die, no she wanted him to feel the same pain that she did, to watch his ugly face as it was contorted in pain, screaming, begging for mercy...

"I hate you.." She whispered as she sat on her bed, her back to the door.

Bellatrix felt a shiver run down her spine as she heard Hermione utter those words. She was standing in the doorway, the door had been slightly open and the room seemingly empty, until Hermione had emerged from the bathroom with a sad looking face, slumping down on the bed. Bellatrix didn't know why but she had a strange feeling in her gut as she watched the girl beginning to sob. She had kept an eye on her the last couple of days, wondering how she was to approach her without being shoved away. She wanted to apologize, but clenched her fists as the thought once again popped into her head. She was Bellatrix Lestrange and Bellatrix Lestrange NEVER apologized, to anyone.

"Are you going to come in or just stand there?"

Hermione's voice startled her and for a minute she considered turning on her heel and just leave. But something inside of her longed to be close to the girl and she gave in. She pushed the door open and tried to smile but it resulted in a grimace. Hermione was sitting on the bed, her hands resting in her lap. She was looking at her hands and Bellatrix wondered if her hatred for her was so strong she couldn't even stand to look at her.

"I can understand that you hate me" the softness of her voice surprised them both and Hermione looked up, meeting her dark eyes. She shook her head slowly.

"I don't understand you… and I don't understand my feelings for you. I feel so confused"

The girl confessed and once again focused on her hands on her lap. She could feel her cheeks redden but decided not to care. After all, Bellatrix would be leaving tonight and everything would go back to normal.

Bellatrix stared at the girl in front of her, knowing exactly how she felt.

"How do you manage this? Living like this?" Bellatrix asked curiously. She had never been to prison or anything resembling a prison, and this must certainly be classified as one to these muggle girls.

Hermione shrugged, not too interested in sharing.

"Sometimes I.. think of escaping. But, master is always careful to remind us how impossible that is.. and I start thinking about something else, like.. birds" She says after a moment's thought and she sees something shift in Bellatrix's eyes that makes her want to cry. She pities her.

"Then come with me" Bellatrix extended a hand towards Hermione who eyed it suspiciously. She took it after a moment's hesitation and their eyes locked.

"I need to understand something" Hermione spoke and felt her heart begin to hammer against her chest. She wanted to avoid this topic at all cost but she needed to know. Bellatrix swallowed hard knowing what question Hermione wanted her to answer.

"Why didn't you stop him?" Hermione's voice had been reduced to a whisper and one single tear escaped from her eye as she searched Bellatrix's deep brown eyes for an answer. Bellatrix shivered under her intense gaze and felt as though the temperature had dropped several degrees. She shifted on the bed and began to play with the hem of her dress.

"Because.. I didn't want Lucius to think I care for you" Her answer was simple but Hermione still couldn't understand.

"But, you loathe him. What do you care about his opinion?"

"I don't" Bellatrix looked at her and she could still see confusion and hurt in Hermione's eyes. "Listen, it's.. complicated. The relationship I have with Lucius. I mean, I'm not supposed to fall.." she fell silent as she realized what she had been about to say.

"To fall in love with a mudblood" Hermione finished her sentence and couldn't pretend it didn't hurt. But now she understood somewhat why Bella had acted that way.

"…Yes" Bellatrix didn't see any point in pretending it wasn't true. She squeezed Hermione's hand comfortingly and was surprised to see a small smile forming on the girls lips.

"You really have mood swings you know" she said and watched as her smile widened.

"You're one to talk!" Hermione retorted and they both laughed.

Narcissa stopped dead in her tracks as she saw her pity excuse of a husband walk in through the main door. He avoided her gaze and instead focused on undoing his coat which seemed like quite a difficult task in his present state. Narcissa narrowed her eyes as she walked down the last steps and towards him. She had sensed the strong smell of alcohol mixed with a woman's perfume and sure enough, when she was close enough she could also see a love bruise on the left side of his neck. Lucius didn't even seem to mind that he had been caught. He gave her a cold stare and walked past his wife who immediately whipped out her wand.

The mansion was filled with a horrible sound as Lucius screams echoed off the walls. Narcissa watched as her husband convulsed in pain on the floor and smirked. Nobody treated her this way and got away with it, not even Lucius.

Bellatrix and Hermione both looked alarmed as they recognized the man's screams and without a word they both leapt up from the bed and towards the main hall. Hermione could hear the woman next to her gasp as they witnessed a very unlikely scene.

"Cissy!" Bella ran down the stairs, her curls bouncing on her back. Narcissa flicked her wand, ending the curse and stared at her sister with wide eyes. Bellatrix glanced at the heap laying on the floor. He seemed to have passed out. She seemed too joyful to stand still as she kept looking back and forth between them.

"I didn't think you had it in you!" She finally said and walked over to Lucius.

His face was covered by his long hair and he was holding onto his belly. Bellatrix kicked him square in the ribs which resulted in a groan of pain erupting from the man.

"Oh! Seems he's conscious after all!" Bellatrix clapped her hands together and took out her wand but was stopped by Narcissa who grabbed her arm.

"It's enough. He's learned his lesson" she said, her voice extremely cold.

"You must have thoroughly enjoyed that" Bellatrix grinned as she joined Hermione on the second floor. Hermione sighed and kept her gaze on the floor and Bellatrix noticed her change of behavior.

"What?" she asked, grabbing the younger woman's wrist, forcing her to face her. Hermione seemed to contemplate whether to speak or not and Bellatrix felt herself becoming desperate.

"You don't feel sorry for him do you?" she narrowed her eyes at Hermione who sighed again, this time louder.

"No. But I don't feel some sort of victory either"

Bellatrix didn't know what to say. She had never been abused in any sexual way (anyone who tried she'd crucio to oblivion)but she understood it must be horrible and especially for a young, inexperienced girl like Hermione. She wasn't used to thinking that way and it took a lot of strength from her to understand her situation.

"I can't go with you" Hermione's words come down like a thunder and Bellatrix is so disappointed she can't even respond. She just watches as Hermione turns and walks back to her room without another word.

Hermione once again felt confused by her own behavior. Just an hour ago she wanted desperately for Lucius to be treated exactly as he had just been, but it only evoke a deeper sadness in her. She thought seeing him in pain would give her some form of relief or satisfaction, but the fact remained he had taken her innocence and the sight of him as he lied on top of her, the sound of his deep grunting as he thrust into her would forever be imprinted in her mind. She had taken so many baths but still felt dirty. Seeing the look of disappointment on Bellatrix's face had broken her heart but the truth was she couldn't stand to be around her. She loved her and hated her at the same time and could not forgive her for not having interfered.

"Why do I need to be this filthy? My blood has only given me trouble!" she clawed at her own skin in frustration and felt her whole body shake as small droplets of blood began to form on her lower arm.

"I'm filthy, I don't deserve to live"

As more blood surfaced she sighed as relief washed over her. She watched in fascination as the blood dropped onto the floor, staining the carpet and for once she didn't care about making a mess. She trembled as she dug her nails deeper into the wounds and hissed when the pain became almost unbearable. Losing her balance she fell onto the floor with a thud and didn't mind as the room became blurry. She could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest and was surprised that she had been reduced to this. She used to be such a good girl, the best in her class, she always made her parents proud. And now she's laying here, bleeding from her self-inflicted wounds, feeling sorry for herself, yet she can't muster up the courage to end her miserable life.

Some time later she can hear the sound of the door open and she's disappointed when she realizes it's Narcissa.

"What are you doing on the floor girl?"

Hermione can see her heels and the hem of her dress and wonders how she can walk around in high heels all the time. She lets her breath out as Narcissa kneels down beside her and lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. It's the closest form of contact from her ever and she looks into pale blue eyes that she no longer find as enchanting as the dark ones of her sister. They are enchanting nonetheless and she feels strangely safe looking into them.

Hermione wants to ask if her sister is still there but can't seem to form a coherent sentence. She wonders if Narcissa knows what has been going on between them.

"Bellatrix has left" she suddenly says and Hermione realizes she must've known all along. Perhaps Bellatrix told her even. For Hermione it's very sad, she doesn't remember that there is something called apparition and that Bellatrix could at any second show up in this room.

Narcissa notices the wounds on Hermione's arms but doesn't say anything. For a split second Hermione is scared, perhaps she doesn't approve of this display of weakness. But she stops worrying as Narcissa sighs sadly and helps her sit on the bed. She inspects Hermione's wounds further and uses her wand to heal them. Hermione is as always fascinated by the power those sticks hold and keep staring at her arm seconds after they have healed.

"Thank you" she nods curtly at Narcissa who puts her wand back in her sleeve. Just as she's about to stand up Hermione grabs her chin and kisses her right on the lips. Shocked, Narcissa retreats and Hermione feels more stupid than ever. She turns her head so that Narcissa can't see her forming tears. The older woman stands up and Hermione can feel her gaze on her. She is now trembling out of fear and humiliation and wonders silently what has gotten into her.

"I thought… you liked my sister"

The unexpected statement brings Hermione to look at her and their eyes meet.

"I do" Hermione wipes away her tears and composes herself.

"Then why…" Narcissa breathes in softly instead of finishing her sentence.

"Because… she only brings pain"

"Yes, that is… what she is famous for" Narcissa says in a voice that shows she doesn't really approve of her sisters doings.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Malfoy, I don't know what's wrong with me. You deserve a better maid than me" Hermione quickly decides that she doesn't want to live and as soon as Narcissa leaves she will end her life by using the belt she wore the day she arrived. However, Narcissa doesn't leave but keep looking at her almost curiously.

"How long have you fancied me?" She seems to find this amusing and Hermione frowns. She didn't think Narcissa belonged to the kind that loved to bask in other people's discomfort.

"What does it matter?" Hermione considers taking off her necklace as she is sure Narcissa wouldn't mind, but she keeps it on for now.

"It does to me"

Hermione snaps her head up and once again she finds herself drawn to those eyes and she swallows.

"Since the first time I saw you" It is quite easy to admit Hermione realizes after she says it and she keeps staring into the cerulean orbs belonging to the older witch.

"It is my sister you desire, not me" Narcissa seems to decide for her and Hermione once again feels like someone has torn her heart into millions of pieces. She feels disgusting, unwanted. It must be it, she is too filthy for someone like the Black sisters, and how could she believe otherwise? That's why she yelps in surprise as she feels strong hands push her down onto the mattress, holding her firmly in place.

Narcissa places kisses on her neck and collarbone and Hermione cannot help but moan. She digs her hands into blonde hair and is amazed by the softness of it. Narcissa is now working on the buttons of her shirt and Hermione wonders what she expects her to look like. She feels self-conscious as Narcissa is undoing the last button and revealing her naked torso and her breasts. Narcissa doesn't seem to pay attention to her state of embarrassment but only places both of her hands firmly on her breasts, squeezing them. Hermione gasps as she tweaks one of her nipples.

"Mmm… I didn't know you desired me this much girl.." Narcissa's voice is deep and husky as she lets her finger run along Hermione's folds. She refers to the wetness residing there and Hermione blushes and stammers something inaudible. When Narcissa slowly insert two fingers into her she lets out a moan and grab onto her shoulders, digging her nails into them. She keeps moaning every time narcissa thrusts her fingers into her and throws her head back in pure exstacy. Narcissa takes the opportunity to bite down on her pulse and Hermione lets out a shriek mixed with pain and pleasure.

"Please…" she is begging but she doesn't know for what. As Narcissa adds another finger she spreads her legs further and hears the older woman whisper something filthy in her ear, causing her to blush harder and she unwillingly moans.

"That's my girl… such a fine slut" Narcissa smacks her bottom unexpectedly and she jumps in surprise. She keeps pumping her fingers in and out and Hermione is now finding it hard to breathe. She closes her eyes and imagines it is Bellatrix fucking her, the thought of her once again allowing her to climax and she screams as she comes, releasing her juices all over Narcissa's hand.

tbc

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