261. The Facts of Life
Jacob POV
Blinding, something was shining on my face. I opened my eyes. Pleasantly to my surprise, I discovered I was outside. I was forced to squint, the sun was blazing in my direction. It had just reached the rim above the mountain tops, but that was enough to rouse me from my slumber.
"Damnit."
I couldn't believe it. I'd fallen asleep outside of Nessie's house. Again. I needed to stop this habit of mine. It was starting to become some sort of strange tradition. It felt perfectly normal sleeping outside in my wolf form, but I really needed to go home to my dad at night. He still worried about me when I didn't come home at night. The fact that I was a full grown adult male/alpha wolf didn't change his judgment. My dad should give me more credit and worry less. A man of his age shouldn't worry so much. It's not good for his health. If he thought I wasn't safe alone with vampires, he was wrong, so far. It had been over six years and still I hadn't been attacked by Edward or Bella or Nessie. Actually, Nessie tried to sneak tackle me every once and a while, but that didn't count. When was my dad going to be able to trust them? I did.
Edward and I were somewhat acquaintances, I'd even venture to call us friends. He wouldn't hurt me and Bella she would never lay a finger on me. The mental image of her trying to attack me cracked me up. Then I remembered the time when she had actually lunged for me. The memory triggered the mental image of poor Seth jumping in front to save me. Since then, Bella never tried to attack me. I knew she could attack me, if she really wanted, but she wouldn't. She was just Bella to me, even after her transformation into a bloodsucker.
Nessie must have heard me wake up because I saw and heard her rushing. She was coming from what I inferred was an early morning hunting trip. She made her way into the little clearing in front of the house. She stopped and waved to me from the opposite side of the clearing. I didn't respond to her motion.
"Jacob?", she asked confused pulling her eyebrows slightly together. She waved more slowly again this time.
I couldn't reply. I was still half asleep and dazed. I was dazed by her. Today was an uncommonly sunny day in Washington. It was not overcast nor gloomy. The sun was being reflected off her skin and made her shiny. She twinkled. I didn't know any better word to describe it. Her shine was not as obvious as the Cullen's. But whenever she stepped into the light she still had the a similar glow.
I brought myself back to reality and flashed her a grin.
"See you inside." She said still standing on the outer tree line of the clearing.
She looked at me a little differently this time before she left. She did not seem like she was confused but I couldn't be sure. Her facial expressions were always maturing as she grew older. I had never seen this expression on her face before. A second after she saw me looking at her stare, she dashed into the cottage. That was strange. She usually would let me study her expressions. Nessie always wanted to share what she was feeling with me. I was going to follow her inside to take a deeper look into her weird behavior. But before I could even start after her, Edward took her place in the clearing where Nessie had stood less than second ago.
He greeted me, "Good morning Jacob."
There was no cheer in his voice or face when he addressed me. He had no expression. What was up with everyone today? I wondered if I needed a haircut. Maybe my hair was too shaggy that I started to become unrecognizable. It had been a long time since I'd cut my hair last. Actually I couldn't remember the last time I had cut my hair. Yup, I'd need to cut my hair soon. I would make that a priority.
I nodded to him. Nodding was my typical greeting to most people. I was going to nod to Bella but she was no where to be seen. She wasn't in her usual spot, close to the left side of Edward. Where was she? Edward and Bella always arrived back from hunting together. I heard her running in the distance. She was still several seconds away. This was Interesting. Edward never ran faster than Bella he always slowed down to keep pace with her on trips. Maybe, my unruly hair was not the cause of the anomalous behavior today. First there was the stares, now Edward leaving Bella behind. That was absolutely an atypical action of his. His appearance did seem a little off-
"We decided to have to have a race today" Edward broke the silence with the answer to my thoughts.
That sounded suspicious. If he was trying to delude me into thinking that he was acting normal, he was wrong. Bella was nowhere near as fast as Edward. Edward knew that, he was untouchable to his wife. He must have known that . . .He did know that. Bella would know that too, so why would she agree to a race. Maybe Bella wanted to race to see if she could keep up with Edward, or to see the distance between their speeds. For whatever reason, I still thought the whole predicament was bizarre.
Bella made her way into the clearing. It had been maybe five seconds since Edward had first appeared. I wasn't a vampire expert but I was pretty sure five seconds was an extremely large margarine for vampire's speeds to vary. Edward must have been sprinting. Before I could continue to wander with my thoughts Bella spoke.
"You win." Bella said to Edward with a hint of disappointment behind her sheepish smile.
"Now, I believe you owe me a kiss." Edward said to Bella disregarding my presence.
"Okay, fine" Bella said reluctantly. She then leaned on to her tippy toes to give him a peck on the cheek.
"This is what we agreed on love. I suggested the loser buy the winner a new Bentley, but you wanted this. You wouldn't change your mind so-".
"I know. I know." Bella said shushing Edward midway through his argument. She saw me and gave me a cheerful "Hi, Jake"
Her enthusiasm was real, unlike Edwards. I gave hear a smile. I actually wanted to talk to her. She was the only person not acting weird towards me. What a relief, now I knew I wasn't the cause of the unreadable stares. But Bella was used to my wolf form tame or shaggy, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Yeah, I would definitely cut my hair if it made people uncomfortable. It was kind of becoming a nuisance; I almost tripped on it the other day.
I glanced at Edward; he was still looking at me. This is just great. His face still looked expressionless but now his eyes almost looked thoughtful. Just as I was analyzing him more, he snapped his head upward and feigned watching a bird group of birds fly southward. The weirdo wasn't fooling me. Well, Bella did tell me that Bloodsuckers get distracted easily. Haha. When she told me that, I remember thinking that ADHD was a side effect of becoming a vampire. Edward must have been listening to me because I saw smirk come across his expressionless face.
"Jake, why did you spend the night out here? You know Esme had an extra room built for you." Bella said accusingly.
I made a face that probably like a cringe. The thought of Esme caring about me still surprised me. She was a leech and I was a werewolf. She had 'my room' added onto the house before the Cullens left, she called it a "parting gift". I had used the room the first night it was presented to me, but I didn't like it. The entire night I was on edge, it was too big and reeked of bloodsuckers. Overall, it was uncomfortable. I hadn't slept in "my room" since that night.
"Esme would be sad if she knew you didn't use the room" she said disapprovingly.
'I don't care if her feelings get hurt', I thought. To my surprise, I felt guilty thinking that.
"Jacob she practically thinks of you as her son." Edward chimed.
Ouch. If I didn't feel guilty before, I did now. I gave a little pleading howl.
Esme always was motherly towards 'her kids' though they didn't need the extra care. She was even nice to the pack. She would always offer us food and drink when we stopped by the house. I never did anything kind towards her. I didn't deserve whatever affection she felt towards me. She was a nice lady. Caring for me went against her nature, but she still did it. It was backwards and unconventional. But then again everything between the Cullens and I was unconventional. Our relationship went against the grain.
Edward, tell Bella I'm gunna phase real quick so I can talk to her.
I rushed behind a tree and changed back. It was so easy to control myself.
"Okay. Bella, I wasn't planning on sleeping outside last night but it just happened. I wasn't purposely avoiding sleeping in um . . .my room". I said.
"I believe you, Jake. But why did you fall asleep outside?" she sounded a little concerned. Her eyebrows came slightly together.
Even though Bella was vampire, she was still was one of my best friends. I was glad she still showed me that she cared with the little things. The little things are the things that matter. She was still the same old Bella. The only difference was that she was a lot less fragile now.
"I don't remember. I think I was on my way to my dad's but I just crashed", was my answer.
"Okay. You should probably go check in with Billy. I'll see you when you get back."
Then Bella zoomed away into the house after Nessie. I didn't need to check in with my dad. That comment ticked me off a bit, but before I could dwell on it, my attention was diverted. Edward still remained in the clearing and his skin was almost blinding. I had to squint in order to see him.
Edward slowly made eye contact with me and calmly said, "Jacob, may I have a word with you?"
"Um, sure. What do you wanna talk about?" I said as I strode over towards him.
"Well I think you should give Billy a visit." He had the same expressionless look on his face but now I thought I saw pain in his eyes and his voice had maybe a hint of urgency.
"Why? Did something happen?" I said bewildered.
"I think you need to go and see for yourself." His eyes were almost pleading now.
I looked towards the house. I wanted to be with Nessie. She thought I would be walking in the door any second now. She probably was wondering where I was right now.
"Jacob I'll tell her. Now go." Edward said this with no hostility usually he hated it when I thought about Renesmee.
I nodded to him, and started walking away. When my pants were securely tied around my ankle, I phased and ran as fast as I could.
What the hell was Edward talking about? Was something wrong? Of course, something was wrong, that's why he was acting so weird today. But, Nessie. . .What if something happened to my dad? Or the Pack? I tried to listen but it was silent. All I heard and saw were the creatures and the forest as it blurred past me. It was silent; no one was in wolf form. Was that part of the reason why Edward had shoved me away today? What if something happened to Sam or Emily or Seth? Edward cared about Seth... maybe something happened to him. I let out a cry and tried to push my legs faster, but they wouldn't push me any faster. Something had to of happened to Seth. Although Edward and Seth didn't hang out much, Edward still liked him. Edward and Seth once used to have a friendship. Edward liked Seth the best out of the pack. He said Seth had one of the purest and sincerest minds he'd ever heard. Sadly, that wasn't enough to keep them as friends. They slowly started to lose touch a few years back.
Seth used to come with me down to the Cullens all the time, in the beginning. But after a while, both of the friends realized they didn't have much to talk about besides sports. Seth gradually came less and less when most of the Cullens left. Edward might have gone down to visit Seth on the res, but he never did come down, due to the treaty of our ancestors. It really was a shame they lost contact, Seth was a good person and Edward was...they were both decent people.
Seth was like my little brother, I couldn't bare it if he was hurt. The entire pack couldn't bare it, whether it was physically or mental pain. If it was mental pain we couldn't do anything to help, but if it was physical pain we could try. If only Carlisle hadn't left. I know Carlisle and his family, with the exception of Bella, Edward, and Nessie, moved away because Carlisle didn't look old enough to claim his age. In fact he didn't look old enough to have kids in college; he could pass as a kid in med school trying to get his degree. It shouldn't have surprised me that they left. But when the whole Cullen clan was here it felt safer. The wolves had the Cullens' backs and they had ours despite the proclivity to do the opposite. If they stayed the secret to their existence might be exposed. So naturally, they all moved somewhere far away The Cullens had to keep up with their cover story continuously.
Man, if only they were here right now. Carlisle would be able to fix Seth if he was broken in any physical way. Another howl escaped my mouth.
I tried to calm myself down and thought about Nessie. But I couldn't help but think about Seth. The last time Seth saw her was at her sixth birthday party. It had been two months since then. I remember him saying "Wow the years have flown by bro. One more year and she'll be all grown up, like us." Nessie, grown up, I couldn't imagine that. It seemed like she was a little tot days ago, as opposed to years ago. She was growing up fast and I was not ready. Another thing I was not ready for was for the rest of the Cullens leaving. Bella and Edward hadn't left with the rest of Cullens because they wanted Renesmee to finish growing before they moved. Their departure date was closely approaching, would they really move away? Could they do that to me? I would follow them to the ends of the Earth, if they tried to leave with my little Lochness monster. In the beginning, I knew Edward and Bella hated the idea the idea of my imprinting on Nessie, but I thought they had moved past that. Couldn't they see that I had no choice? It just happened. Whatever they decided to do, when she was turned seven, wouldn't matter because I would follow her wherever she went.
I was almost to the house; I could hear people talking in the distance. There were a lot of voices. I guessed that the whole tribal council was there along with the rest of my pack brothers.
Jake?
Qui?. What's wrong catch me up on the situation.
Well I just wanted to make sure you were on your way over. When I heard the howling I wasn't sure what you were up to.
Oh. Sorry Quil. I didn't mean to scare you.
Quil and the rest of the pack should be able to rely on their...Alpha. I hated saying that word. Never the less, I was the Alpha now. I never wanted to step up to the position but when I left the pack and Seth followed I became an Alpha. And now ever since Sam had tied the knot with Emily he had stopped changing into his wolf form. He had given it up entirely so he could grow old with Emily and start a family. Gradually he had started phasing less and less until he did it no more. By default I became Alpha, but I took this position very seriously. No one else could fill in for me.
Jake it's fine. And you're doing a great job as Alpha. Don't worry about. See ya soon.
Then I felt Quil disappear. Gosh, he had it all wrong. He shouldn't be comforting me. If anything, the Alpha should be the one comforting the rest of the pack. I was a bad Alpha but I would try to do a better job. I didn't need the rest of the pack worrying about me and my actions. I was supposed to be the responsible one, the leader. I should set the example for the rest of the pack. And no one should have to privately question if my judgment is right or wrong. I was a selfish Alpha. I needed to think more about my pack and my people and not about my own personal wishes. From now on I would do what was right and impartial and selfless. That's how a leader should act and I was a leader whether I wanted the position or not. No one would ever have to worry about me again. From now on I, Jacob Black, vow to act and be the best Alpha possible.
As I cleared my head of thoughts unrelated to the pack, I came into the clearing before my house. When I entered my home I saw that it was crowded over capacity. Not only was the counsel there but the entire pack was there along with Claire, Kim, Sam, Emily, and my sister Rachel. Everyone one was here. If I'd known all the imprints were here, I would have my brought Renesmee along.
When I walked through my front door no one looked up to see me. No one looked up to meet my eyes. I looked around waiting for someone to meet my gaze but no one did. Then I saw Seth. Seth was sitting on the floor with his arms tucked around his knees. I examined him quickly his body looked like it was in perfect condition. A big sigh of relief rushed through me Seth wasn't hurt, at least not physically. But I looked around the room and still no one was looking at me. I turned my head to face Seth once again. This time when I looked in his eyes I understood. The mood in the room suddenly changed. Something was terribly wrong.
His face looked stressed and wary. His eyes looked sad and maybe even watery like he was holding back tears that were ready to stream down his face at any moment. Then I noticed that Emily had one hand placed on his shoulder; I realized she was trying to comfort him. I was suddenly scared. Seth wasn't hurt physically but emotionally. I believed that was worse.
"Hi, Jake" Seth said, trying to make his voice more cheerful than his appearance.
It didn't work. Seth was always happy, I don't recall him ever being not content. His voice never sounded so drained or somber. I knew he tried to cover up the sadness in his voice, but it didn't work. I could hear the pain and agony in his voice.
"Hi, Seth" I barely breathed.
"Uh Jake. We need to talk-" his voice broke of mid-way.
He didn't need him to finish his sentence. "We need to talk" always implied something bad was going to occur. Edward did know something was wrong with Seth! Why did he make me wait until I got home? It would have saved me from the unbearable suspense I felt right now.
"Seth, what's going on? Are you hurt?"
That was a stupid question. Of course he was hurting; I could see it in his eyes. He was still the only one who had made eye contact with me. Why wouldn't anyone look at me? It seems everyone was purposefully avoiding eye contact. I looked around again and I this time I caught Sam's eye. He turned his head quickly away the second he saw me looking, but it wasn't quick enough. I caught fear in his eyes before he glanced away.
"No, no I'm not hurt. You got it wrong."
"Oh, then what did you wanna talk about?" I asked scared and confused.
"It's...Leah." He said trying to clear his voice of all shakiness.
I nodded. I couldn't process what he said yet. Leah was what he wanted to talk about. Okay so he wasn't the problem. It was about Leah. Then the thought occurred to me that the pained looked on his always friendly face was due to Leah.
"Wu'd she do?" I said angrily through my teeth.
Leah was always the cause of some family drama in our soap opera of a life. When she had left everyone had been glad. Of course her mother and Seth were a little sad but they knew it was better for everyone else. When she left town it was almost as if all the drama in the pack had disappeared along with her. We all were glad but occasionally someone thought of her and you couldn't help but feel remorse for her. In truth, I actually felt a guilty. If anyone could understand Leah, it was me. We were once the same. At least that's how she saw it in her mind, and sometimes I wouldn't disagree.
I saw horror break out in Seth's eyes and slip out onto his face. Damnit. Wu'd I say?
"She didn't do anything. I did." He nearly cried out.
"Seth, I'm not following."
"I didn't try to do it on purpose I swear!" he was almost apologizing.
"Seth, what the hell did you do? Stop beating around the bush and tell me what happened?" I commanded him with more force. I sounded like an Alpha.
"Okay, Okay, Jake," the words started to sputter of his mouth." So I was coming back from a run and I decided to drop by Sam and Emily's and see what was new with them. Then when I was with them, Sam told me that they were pregnant. Well I mean they weren't pregnant because that would be I impossible. But I mean Emily is pregnant."
Seth was muddled and rattled. His words were jumbling together. I had to cut in.
"Yeah, yeah, Seth I get it. They're having a baby" I said harshly and hurried. I realized my mistake a second after and turned my head up to Emily. "Congrats"
"Thanks." Emily mumbled looking down.
I turned my head around the room towards Sam. Sam was directly on the other side of the room, closest to the door, his chair against the wall. This was rare. Sam and Emily were always together. I would think especially now that she was pregnant he would be all engrossed around her but he was doing about the opposite. He was always so protective.
He looked up at me and nodded. I guessed he understood my congrats hadn't meant to sound malicious and that made me feel slightly better. I turned back to Emily and she tried to smile at me and I tried to smile back but our attempts both failed.
"Back to the story, Seth, finish please it." I tried to control my voice so it wouldn't sound so intimidating, but I needed answers.
"So I was so excited when I heard the news. I wanted to tell everyone. I was the first one they told." He said it proudly. Then again he was serious. "So I phased because I thought it would be quicker to get the good news to everyone. If anyone else was phased they would hear me too."
I didn't get it. "Uh huh...and?"
"Well..." He started talking fast again. "When I phased I thought everyone who was in wolf-form would be able to hear me. I wasn't thinking. As soon as I phased I just kept thinking 'Emily is pregnant! Mr. and Mrs. Sam Uley are having a baby!"He animated that last part. His voice sped up again. "Like I said, I wasn't thinking so I had no idea that Leah would be listening too! I mean I should have known but...but I was stupid! I forgot. It's been so long since I've even thought of Leah, let alone seen her."
He paused as the information sunk into my head.
"She heard everything. I blew the secret." He quickly looked up to see my gaze then looked down again.
He blew it. He ruined our cover-up. For years, we never thought about Sam and Emily when we were in wolf form. We didn't wanna cause any more unnecessary drama. Leah left the day she saw an engagement ring on Emily's finger. She knew they were already engaged but the ring made it tangible. She left that day she couldn't handle seeing her love with someone else. She ran for days, non-stop. No one knew where she was until Embry caught the sight of a moose in her head. If Leah ran all the way to Canada because Sam got Emily a ring, what she would do now? Would she runaway to Russia since Sam and Leah officially got married and were now having a kid?
"Oh." I was the only response I could formulate.
He looked at me with a speculating expression. I guessed he was trying to read my expression. Whatever my expression was he couldn't decipher it, because he looked down confused. I wasn't surprised he looked away confused because I didn't even know what I was feeling.
I was confused because of Leah. I hadn't seen her in years. She was never brought up in conversation with the exception of today. No one in the tribe had seen her in years. Last the pack heard, she was wandering somewhere in Canada. The pack usually tried to avoid her thoughts but she made it easy for us. She usually slept during the day which allowed us to play in daylight and allowed her to roam at night. We kept our space. We didn't want to disturb her. She didn't want to be disturbed. We'd been doing the same routine for so long I had forgotten sometimes why we even did it. But whenever I forgot the reason behind the rule I never questioned the reasons behind the rule.
"Uh Jake there's something else."
Great, Leah probably did run off to Russia. "What is it?"
"Well my mom and Charlie are getting married pretty soon..."
"Oh yeah! How could I forget? When's the date?"
Charlie and Sue were the perfect couple. They had dated for years and we all saw it coming. Slowly but surely, we all knew this day would come. They had so much in common, like their kids. Their relationship was inevitable.
"Next Friday. You have the invitation."
"Right. Anyways, what were you saying?"
"Well we were really hoping Leah would come down for the wedding"
"Uh huh" I was not comprehending whatever point he was going to make.
"Well.."
"Seth just spit it out!"
"We want you to do it. Jake, we need you to go and get her."
"What? Why the hell me? I don't even know where she is!"
"Let me explain. It's just that my mom wants Leah to be at the wedding, and be the bridesmaid, and she hasn't seen her in years. So I just thought that, I mean we all thought that you could go find her because you guys have a somethings in common." He started speaking fast again. "Or at least, you used to. Remember when we had our little pack? You guys got along then. You even thought of her as, almost a friend. And Jake...buddy you just have to do it. No one else can. If she listens to anybody it'll be you. We really want her at the wedding and if you can't bring her back just make sure she isn't doing anything crazy. We just want her safe."
I was the prime choice to get Leah? When did that happen? I thought she hated me since I imprinted. I was the only person who understood what she was going through, then I imprinted. She felt like I betrayed her. Oh boy, I was guilty again. That's twice in one day.
"If I did this, where would I even start to look for her? I have no idea where she is."
"The thing is, she was on her way back to res for the wedding but she heard me." Seth said this quietly.
"Wait, she was coming back for the wedding? How come I didn't know about that?"
"Yeah. She couldn't help but hear the news of mom and Charlie getting married. She kept going back and forth , she didn't know whether to attend the wedding or not. It seemed like she was going to, but when she heard the news-" His voice cracked. "she turned around and started heading north. She was close too. She was in Washington running along the five. Then she just started running back to Canada. You didn't know about it because I didn't tell anybody. Her mind changed from one week to the other. She was unpredictable and I didn't want to jinx it. If everyone went around thinking Leah was coming back and she didn't ...I didn't wanna get people anxious or bring their hopes up. And anyways if Leah knew people were expecting her to come back, she wouldn't come. So I really had no choice but to keep it a secret from you."
"You had no choice!" I said raising my voice a little too loud for indoors.
As bad as I felt for Seth, I was still angry that he didn't tell me Leah was in the country. He hid his problems well.
"Seriously, I'm the Alpha. How could you not tell me?" I said jokingly, trying to brighten up the mood. It didn't work.
Seth looked away towards the window and so did I, and then I remembered there were other people in the room. I had completely forgotten everybody else was there. As I scanned the room I could feel the tension. You could cut it with a knife. And my attitude was the cause of most of it.
Everyone was gathered here for a reason. They were gathered here for me, to force me to get Leah. They thought they could guilt me into it. Just because Leah and I were in the vaguely similar situation once, doesn't mean I sympathize for her. That was a long, long time ago.
"Jacob" Sue's voice caught my attention.
I looked in her direction.
"I know this is a lot to ask of you, but I haven't seen my daughter in years. If you can't bring her back could you just tell her that I miss her and love her."
Oh, so they were going to try and guilt me. As much I wanted to deny it, it was working. This was an ambush and they were going to guilt me to death until I agreed to go. But I couldn't go, for multiple reasons, I couldn't even begin to list them.
I gulped, my throat was parched. I didn't know what to say.
"Jake, please. If you don't like Leah, do it for my mom.."
I didn't hate Leah. I just didn't like the drama she caused. And it was true that we were almost friends once. A long time ago. When we were in the same pack together, it wasn't so bad. We got along. We understood each other.
I could do it for her. I believed I owed her that much, but I couldn't. I just wouldn't. Our small history together wasn't enough.
I knew Mrs. Clearwater and she could guilt me easily but still it would not be enough. I had priorities here. I had Nessie.
"Bro, just make sure she's okay, for me. You don't have to bring her back for the wedding just make sure she's safe and hasn't done anything crazy to harm herself. Do it for me, will ya? Just a check in on her that's all I ask. Please?"
Oh man, I couldn't bear to see Seth like this. He was begging me. He also changed the conditions I wouldn't have to bring Leah back, I would just have to check in on her and make sure she wasn't doing anything crazy, like running to Russia. Even if that's all I would have to do, I would still have to say no. I still had no clue where she was.
"Uh where'd you say she was again?"
"Is that a yes?" His face perked up immediately. It was a sight to see. "Well I don't know exactly where she is but she headed back up to Canada. I thought you could catch her scent if you went along the highway and just follow it up."
"Yeah I guess I could do that" I said optimistically.
I had to sound positive I didn't want to ruin Seth's sudden happiness. I didn't want to cause Seth pain. I wanted to stop his pain. Who knew I would be able to cause it and stop it with just a simple word like 'yes' or 'no'.
"So are you gunna do it?" He asked, with a smaller smile this time.
"Maybe" That was a lie. Every bit of hopefulness I gave him was a lie. "Can I have the day to think about it?"That wasn't a question.
I looked around the room. Everyone had a somewhat disappointed or disapproving look on their faces. I couldn't believe. Most of the guys who used to rag on Leah looked genuinely sad. I could not understand. When did they have a change of heart? Now they felt sympathy for Leah. They could care less about her when she left the pack to go to Canada. But now they cared. What was up with that? Was it because Leah was in pain? Leah was always in pain. We could hear the bitterness in her thoughts every day. Now she's gone and we can't hear her thoughts, so do the guys feel more sympathy for her? Was it maybe because she was suffering alone? Whenever anyone of us was going through a rough patch we always had each other to comfort us. She doesn't have anybody wherever she is. She's facing her troubles and thoughts solo. Then it hit me, she is a part of the pack. She will always be a part of the pack no matter where she is or what she has done. The guys felt bad because our sister was suffering. If I had to do anything I would do it for the pack. I was the Alpha and I had to have an Alpha state of mind.
How would I do this? I couldn't say yes and leave my Nessie. I couldn't be away from her. Just thinking of her made me miss her. I couldn't say no because I would be letting down my pack and that's not what Alphas do. How would I be able to decide? I couldn't leave but I couldn't stay and do nothing.
Well I did know some things for certain, five to be exact. They were the facts of my life and they were unchangeable.
1.I was the Alpha. Everything was my responsibility. I had to put other people's need in front of mine. I could never be selfish again.
2. The Cullens have moved away once again. Minus the exception of Edward, Bella, and Nessie. But once Nessie was seven, they would all move away. This brought me to my next point.
3. Nessie was almost an adult. She was six years and two months old and in less than a year she would finish growing.
4. Charlie and Sue were getting married. Sue wanted Leah to come to the wedding and be her bridesmaid. If Leah doesn't come Bella would be more than happy to step up and be the bridesmaid.
5. Leah was the one that was hurt. At first I thought Leah hurt Seth, but I thought wrong. I had it backwards, Seth had accidentally hurt Leah. Bottom line, Leah was in pain. My pack sister needed help.
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xo