A/N Okay so I know I kind of just left my other story, but thinks were crazy with going back to school and everything and I just kind of lost interest in Nathan and Haley, that said I do intend to finish it at some point. My latest obsession is with Brooke and Lucas. I've been watching the earlier seasons and I've just fallen in love with them together and its made me not like the later seasons so much, so this is kind of my version of what should have happened. So review and tell me if you like it or not :)
Brooke pulled a face and squeezed Haley's hand tightly as another contraction hit her.
"Well Brooke, I would say you can start pushing now. You're not quite 10cm, but the baby's head has started to descend and pushing will help to really open you up" The doctor gently spread Brooke's legs and placed them, in the stirrups at the foot of the bed.
"Haley just support Brooke's lower back and hold her hand perhaps? Brooke, now this is going to be hard, I won't lie to you, but you can do it. So when you feel the next contraction, after this" HE noted her screwed up face.
"I want you to push down to your bottom hard, and keep going until I tell you to stop, okay? The baby will begin to descend and when you stop it may feel like the head is receding again, but don't be put off that's very natural. Are you ready?"
Brooke was scared out of her mind, but she nodded. She felt the beginning of the contraction and gripping Haley she began to push, letting out a low moan as the pain consumed her, shooting up her spine. The contraction was peaking now and she felt like giving up, it wasn't doing anything and the pain was getting unbearable. She wanted to give up, but Haley had one hand on her lower back and was propping her up forcing her to continue with this torture.
"I cant!" She called out, as she continued pushing, "Its hurts, it really really hurts"
"Okay, Brooke. Take a quick rest and we'll start again on the next one."
"You're doing so good, Tigger" Haley told her, squeezing her hand softly.
But before Brooke had time to respond another contraction hit her and she began to push again, sweat dripping on her forehead, this was impossible, she would die soon, she was sure that this was what it felt like to be split in half.
"Urghh." Brooke panted as she fell back against the bed, and Haley tentatively removed her arm from behind Brooke's back.
"Brooke, you need to keep going," The doctor informed her, "Your baby is right there, they need to come out."
Brooke shook her head,
"It's too hard. I can't do this. I can't. Please, let me go home." She begged, tears seeping out of the corners of her eyes and mixing with the sweat on her head. Another contraction wracked her body and she bit her lip until blood came out, to stop herself from screaming out with the pain.
"Brooke, You can do this." Haley assured her, wiping her damp bangs off her forehead, "You can do this and then you'll have a little baby, you have to do this. Come on, push."
Brooke nodded and bared down on the next contraction and began to feel the baby moving down for the first time, unable to cope with how uncomfortable she was on top of the searing pain, she let outa startling scream as she continued to try and force the baby out.
"Good, keep going."
Brooke could barely hear, she was too consumed with the pain, suddenly she bucked her hips upwards as if that would help force the baby out of her.
"And stop." Brooke panted as she stopped and rested her damp head on Haley's shoulders.
"Okay Brooke." The doctor said looking up at her, "What's going to happen now is that the baby is going to start to descend through the birth canal and after about one push like the one you just gave me, the baby will be about to start crowning. When I tell you so I need you to give everything to get the baby's head out, okay?" Brooke nodded, desperately wanting this torture to be over.
"Go."
Brooke leant forward and pushed, moaning in pain as she felt the baby slipping down inside of her. It felt like she was being split in half and that her organs were being pushed around to make way for something far too big. Letting out an anguished scream, she let he mind drift back to Lucas. Her Lucas. She could almost imagine him here...
"You're doing great Pretty Girl." His words were comforting and she kept going, she knew it wasn't real but she needed it to be so she could make it through.
"Good Girl." The doctor praised, pushing her legs a little further apart, "Take a quick break and then we'll get the head out, okay."
"You're doing amazing, Brooke, just a little more." She nodded and on the doctors word began pushing again. The pain had changed again, it was burning now, as if someone had set fire to her. All she was aware of was the pain, she could hear the doctors praise and Haley's hand still on hers but none of it mattered. She was dying didn't they realise. There was no way she could survive this pain.
"Its burning!" She cried out, "Make it stop, I cant do this." But the pain was still there, and even though the contraction had finished she found herself still pushing, hating the thought of prolonging this pain.
She could feel the head emerging now, pushing her further apart, burning her, ripping her she was sure. She let out another scream and another as she kept on pushing and pushing, tears dripped down her face, sweat stuck her hair to her neck and she gripped Haley. And just as she was about to give up it was gone, replaced by a hollow pain and the scream of a baby. Her baby. Lucas's baby. Their baby.
In what seemed like a few seconds, her baby had been swaddled in a huge blanket and they were handing it over to Brooke. As she looked down into the tiny childs eyes for the first time she felt tears trickle down her cheeks again and right then, in that moment nothing else in the whole world mattered. The baby had tufts of blonde hair, Lucas's she was sure, and the biggest blue eyes she had ever seen, but with her ruby lips and nose.
"It's a girl," The doctor whispered, not wanting to break the silence.
"A girl." Brooke echoed, as she gazed down at her daughter.
"Hey baby girl." She whispered softly, "Welcome to the world."
"She gorgeous Brooke." Haley said, stroking the little girls face, "You did good."
Brooke broke her gaze with the baby and looked up at Haley.
"Thank you, for everything."
Haley smiled and nodded and they both went back to admiring the baby girl lying in Brookes arms.
As the doctor began to fix Brooke up, she let out a small whimper and wished Lucas was here, to see their tiny perfect little girl, to help her pick out a name and to help her through.
Haley looked up from the baby to her friend.
"You want me to call him?" She asked, her eyebrows raised. Ever since Brooke had come crying to her house in the middle of the night after finding out she was pregnant, she and Haley had argued continually over whether or not to tell Lucas. Haley insisted he had a right to know his child and Brooke shouldn't take that away from him, but Brooke had stayed adamant that now he was with Peyton in LA she couldn't ruin things for him.
Now, as she Brooke handed the perfect little girl to her, she wished more than ever that she had let herself tell him, because he should be here. He should be here with Brooke, holding her hand and marveling at the little girl they had made. She knew him and she knew he would have wanted to be here.
00000000
Later on, after Haley had gone and the nurses had finally left her alone, Brooke decided to set upon the task of naming the beautiful baby in her arms. During her pregnancy she had bought Barnes and Noble out of every single baby name they stocked, desperately trying to come up with a name that her child would be proud to have. She had spent hours and hours alone in her apartment, eating Chinese and scanning the pages of the books, but hadn't managed to find anything. Then once she had moved back to Tree Hill three months before the baby was due, she had quizzed Nathan and Haley relentlessly on what they thought were good names, and what they would have named Jamie other than James. But now, looking down at her sleeping daughter, all of the names she had ever considered didn't seem good enough for her. She couldn't help but wish that Lucas was here. He was so good at this sort of thing and she knew he would be able to think up the perfect name for their daughter. Even Peyton would be able to. Every single person in the whole wide world could do the simple task of naming their baby, except her. She had only been a mother for 5 hours, and 42 minutes but already, she thought, she was failing.
Shifting the baby awkwardly in her arms – she still hadn't gotten used to holding someone so tiny – she closed her eyes and tried to conjure a name out of nowhere. But she just kept thinking of Peyton, and she knew she couldn't name her daughter Peyton. But Elizabeth, she pondered. She had always liked the name and that way her daughter would always have a part of Peyton with her, even if she never did meet her. Brooke opened her eyes and gazed lovingly down at her little girl.
"Do you want to be Elizabeth, huh baby?" She cooed, and the little girl's eyes twitched along with her fingers as she dreamed.
"Well baby, I'm going to take that as a yes. You are going to be Mommy's little Elizabeth. Her little Bethie. You know what, I'm going to call you Beth, because then we can both be . That sounds good, right?"
Beth didn't respond, but Brooke persevered.
"You are named after your Aunt Peyton, baby. But you haven't met her. I don't know if you ever will because things with her are a little tricky at the moment."
Brooke let out a deep sigh, and stroked Beth's fingers, and let out a small giggle when the tiny baby gripped her finger.
"You see, your Daddy is Aunt Peyton's boyfriend, and Daddy doesn't know about you. Don't worry though, Daddy and Aunt Peyton weren't together when you were conceived. And if he was here, he would love you just as much as I love you, baby. So would your Aunt Peyton. Aunty Haley already loves you, and so does Uncle Nathan, remember? He said you were the prettiest little girl in the whole world. Don't worry Beth, because Mommy loves you so much and even though I don't know how to do this, I'm going to learn, okay? It will all be okay."
Beth's forehead crumpled and her eyes opened, but before Brooke could marvel at their ocean blue the baby began to wail. Full on crying, her whole body shaking and her face turning an angry red.
"Oh No, don't cry. Shhhhh" Brooke sat up, wincing at the pain and frantically tried to soothe the baby. As she frantically rocked the small baby, she realized - not for the first time - how out of her depth she really was. She wasn't ready to do this, especially not alone. As she watched her newborns daughter face turn beet red, she felt tears slipping out of her own eyes. After what seemed like hours, Elizabeth finally settled down and looked up and Brooke with her Daddy's big blue eyes.
"See baby girl, it's not so hard to stop crying, is it?" Brooke asked, letting Beth grip her finger once again, and rest her head against Brooke's chest. "Now, you still need a middle name, don't you? Yes you do. I want something to remind me of your Daddy, but I really don't want you to have a boy's name!" Brooke giggled and she could've sworn she saw Beth smile too. Brooke looked into her daughter's eyes and tried to think of something that she would be able to explain to her daughter when she was older.
"Delilah." She muttered out loud, "Elizabeth Delilah. That's pretty isn't it baby? Do you like that? You know why I'm choosing Delilah? Because when Mommy went to New York the song 'Hey There Delilah' always made me think of your Daddy."
She stopped for a moment and surveyed her daughter.
"You really are beautiful Elizabeth Delilah Davis. And I know that you're Daddy would love you so much if he could see you, and Mommy is so sorry he's not here." Brooke blinked back a few more tears and took in her daughters droopy eyes.
"I think someone needs to sleep now." She cooed, as she placed Elizabeth into the bassinet beside her hospital bed. She watched over her taking in all her delicate features until she was sure she was asleep. It was nearly 3 in the morning here, but she knew that meant it was only midnight in LA. Taking a deep breath, she swung her legs out of bed and ignoring the soreness between her legs managed to shuffle over to where her bag was and retrieve her phone. It was new, and she had called it her personal phone. It meant that only a select few people could call it and all the people she didn't want to speak too, didn't know it existed. Anxiously she scrolled down until she found Lucas's number and hit the green button. She had been so sure she could do this alone, but now that her little girl was actually here, Brooke just wanted to be able to give her everything, including a Dad.
"Hello?" A voice asked. A voice that Brooke knew all too well. A voice that wasn't Lucas.
"Hello?" They repeated and Brooke bit her lip, trying desperately not to start sobbing down the phone to her old best friend.
"Who is this?" Peyton tried again and all of a sudden she heard him.
"Peyt? Is that my phone?
"Yeah, sorry , its just you were writing and its late and I know how you get."
Brooke heard shuffling and guessed that Luke was taking the phone off of Peyton.
"Hello?" He asked and this time Brooke opened her mouth,
"I.." She couldn't do it. They sounded so happy, she couldn't ruin that. He was happy, and so was Peyton.
"Ermm, sorry. Wrong number." She blurted out and hung up, feeling as about mature as a twelve year old. How could she be a mother and not even have the guts to tell someone he was a father? Just as the light from her phone started to fade, it lit up again, with Lucas's number. Thankful it was on silent, Brooke watched it ring. And ring. And finally, when it stopped almost half an hour later, she managed to work up enough courage to listen to the first voicemail.
"Brooke? IS it you? Am I going crazy? I know this isn't your number, but...Please call me back. You just disappeared, you stopped answering your phone, you haven't been anywhere in the papers or magazines in months and Haley swears she doesn't know where you are. Just...please...Let me know you're okay at least." The phone beeped in her ear and the next message started playing.
"Ermm, if this isn't Brooke I'm really sorry. But it's just, you sounded so much like her and she's gone missing. I just.."
Brooke flipped her phone shut unable to take anymore. Sometimes, she missed him so much she could actually feel her heart aching in her chest. She knew she deserved it, but it still hurt. Sighing she turned over onto her side and watched Beth's chest fall up and down, until finally Brooke drifted into sleep.