A/N So here we are. The final chapter of Never Look Back. Its kind of emotional for me. I started this story when I first started watching OTH and fell head over heels for Brucas. Their chemistry, passion and love is what made me love the show. I hated how it all ended up with him and Peyton, because while I do see why they work, I just never got the same feeling watching them as I did with Brooke and Lucas together. In my opinion they really should have been endgame. Maybe I just like them more because I can identify with Brooke, I know what its like to have your best friend get it on with your guy. Anyway I want to thank everyone who read this story and reviewed, because honestly I love getting feedback on my work. This probably will be my last (and first) Brucas fanfic, so enjoy this last chapter and review please, it would mean so much to me. So even if you just have this on alert or on your favourites (which a lot of people do) please just take a minute to drop a review, or even if you don't usually review it would really mean a lot. So here it is, the last ever chapter - enjoy.
"If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?" Its late, really late, and he's just stumbled through the door. He'd put off coming home as long as he could because this is exactly what he didn't want to deal with.
"Sure." He shrugged his coat off, and draped it over a chair, before he comes to sit beside her.
"Did you only come back to me, because she didn't want you?" Her voice trembled as she turned to look at him, and he could see the fear and worry etched into her face. He really, really wants to lie to her because he doesn't want to see her hurt. But she deserves better, she deserves the truth.
"No. Maybe. I don't know. We didn't talk about it. The next morning, you called her. And I couldn't do it, so I left." Their eyes locked, and she looked away.
"If I hadn't called…" She could barely choke the words out.
"I would have stayed. I would've let her choose what to do."
Peyton nodded slowly, as if she was processing the information.
"You don't really want to marry me, do you?" She doesn't look at him anymore, instead her eyes focus on a spot on the floor, and he watched as her body trembled.
His breath hitched in his throat, and he waited a few moments to collect his thoughts before answering.
"No."
There was a roaring in her ears, and she felt like she couldn't breathe all of a sudden. She wanted to cry, and scream and go back in time, and not ask that question.
"Peyton." Her tears burnt her eyes, until she stopped fighting and let them fall.
"Did you ever love me?"
"Yes. Of course I did." That's not a lie, he did love her, and he still does. He's not in love with her though anymore. He has feelings for her though, he probably always will.
"As much as Brooke?" She finally looked up, scrutinizing his face.
"I…"
"Tell Brooke I'm sorry." Before he could blink, she's on her feet, wiping away her tears, and heading towards the door, where her small suitcase lies.
"Don't do this." He watched her, and he knows he doesn't want her to go, because its Peyton and he cant imagine life without her.
"You don't want me." It kills her to say it, but he needs to hear it, "You don't want to come home. You want to stay here, with Brooke and the baby."
He doesn't reply, so she looks at his face one more time, trying to commit it to memory, and leaves.
He stands there for a while, not daring to move, even after he hears the engine of her rented car start up, and drive away.
He spent the rest of the night in Beth's room, watching over her, and trying to pacify himself, to make himself believe that what happened with Peyton was for the best. He knows that he doesn't want to go back to LA, he wants to stay here in Tree Hill. But Peyton, should he have followed her? Fought for her?
"Luke?" Brookes voice interrupts his train of thought, and he looks up at her blearily.
"Hey." His voice is hoarse, and he swallows hard.
"What are you doing up?" She silently prays that he doesn't look too closely at her red rimmed eyes, and notice that she hasn't slept. She doesn't want him to know that she's spent hours crying over him, because she doesn't want to be that girl anymore. And she doesn't want to hurt Peyton anymore than she already has. It hurts, but it will get better. She's used to letting go of what she wants.
"Peyton left Brooke." Everything stops for a moment and all she's aware of his eyes on hers, and she doesn't know whether to cry or laugh.
"What do you mean?" She thinks she knows, but she doesn't want to get her hopes up, because she cant take anymore disappointment tonight.
"She left me Brooke." Lucas stood up then, and walked towards her, his eyes never leaving hers.
"But why? I mean she told me," Brooke looked away momentarily, "You guys are getting married."
It hurt to say it out loud, but she needed to know.
"Yeah." He smiled wryly, "I guess not."
Her mind was working overtime trying to digest this. All Peyton had ever wanted was Lucas, and now that she had him, now they were getting married she was going to walk away?
"I can fix this." Brooke said frantically, running her fingers through her hair, "I will call her, and I will explain. She was fine earlier, she wasn't mad at all, I just…" She broke off and looked up at him again,
"She'll come around Luke, she always does."
There was something about her at the moment, that he realized. She looked so vulnerable, standing there in just her vest and some old pyjama bottoms, her hair loose around her bare face, that he just wanted to hold her close and never let her go again. Her eyes were so open and he knew that she wasn't lying, she did feel bad about Peyton. She was beautiful, she was stunning, she was mesmerizing, and she was all he ever wanted.
"No." He shook his head, cupping one hand on her face gently, "I don't want her to."
Brooke looked down, unable to take the intensity of his gaze.
"Lucas…"
"Look at me." Unwillingly she lifted her face to stare at him, and was overcome with an urge to cry.
"Its you." His voice didn't waver, "I know I said it wasn't, but I was wrong. I was so wrong. Its you Brooke, its always been you. I love you, and I know that its too late, and you probably don't feel the same. I know I messed up, a lot, but I promise you, if you give me one more chance I will never let you down again. I wont hurt you anymore Pretty Girl. Just tell me you love me."
Brooke looked up at him, but stayed silent, unable to speak, to move.
"Pretty Girl?" He's still looking at her, waiting for a response.
"Luke…" Her voice is raspier than usual, and she nervously licked her lips.
"I love you, I do. But…"She looked away, "We can't do this." She stroked his hand, and then took it off her face.
"No. No, no." Lucas interjected, "You're wrong, we can do this. We're a family, we love each other."
Brooke tried to blink back her tears before she spoke again.
"Lucas, I do love you and I want to believe you." She looked up at him and smiled weakly, "But we don't work. We tried and it doesn't. And I wish that it did, but we're never going to be that couple."
"Brooke I'm sorry. I know that I've messed us up before and I know you don't have faith in us, but I just need you to believe. Can you do that for me?" He doesn't take his eyes off her, because she needs to understand. This is where he wants to be, right here with her. This is where he needs to be.
"There are so many reasons why this would never work Luke."
"Like what?" He says it louder than he intends, and they both glance over to Beth's crib, but shes still quiet, just gently snuffling in her sleep.
"Lets go downstairs."
Ten minutes later they're both sitting in silence at the kitchen table, drowning in the quietness.
"I loved her. I still do." He looked up at her, and she shook her head briefly.
"I don't understand." She whispered, her knee's pulled up against her chest.
"I know what you're thinking. That I'm just saying this because Peyton left. But that's not why. Peyton left because I loved you. Because I told her that I loved her, but I loved you more. I always have. I loved the idea Peyton, but I didn't love her for who she really was." He looked up at her, and saw her looking away. "I thought about you every single day. I wondered how you were, how you were doing. I thought about what would have happened if Peyton hadn't called. I never forgot you Brooke, how could I? No matter how happy I thought I was, you were always there in the back of my mind. I never let you go, and I don't think you ever let me go either. So even though you're scared I need you to trust me, and just never look back."
Brooke stayed silent for a moment and then stood up, her chair scraping against the floor. She walked over to the cupboard where she pulled out all the contents until she found what she was looking for.
"I never forgot about you either." She whispered as she placed the box in front of him.
"Brooke?" He said, as his hands fumbled to open the box. He looked at her apprehensively as he reached inside.
"Letters." She replied.
He was speechless. There were letters dated from various times over the past year, and some from before.
"Brooke."
"I love you Lucas, I always have." He pushed his chair back and stood in front of her, his eyes unreadable but fixed on her.
"You never sent them."
Brooke shrugged, and looked away from his gaze.
"If you love something, let it go."
"No." She looked up, startled.
"No?" He smiled softly at her.
"I love you, and I'm not going to let you go, not again. And if you don't feel the same, then I'll wait. I'll wait for you to be ready, because you will be someday and when that day comes, you'll realize I've been here all along."
He leant down and kissed her softly, just briefly.
"Lucas…" She murmured softly,
"Yes Pretty Girl?"
"Kiss me again, Broody."
He laughed and leant in to kiss her again, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close,her arms snaking around him too, neither wanting to ever let go again.
"It's just that, you're the first great guy I've dated and that really scares me because I never gave a rat's ass before. Ok, but I do now."
"That's good, because I give a rat's ass about you too."
"I'm the guy for you. I know we're just part-time, that's cool. You know, do whatever, have your fun. But one of these nights you're gonna realize it; I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis…. You'll see"
"Tell me that was a goodbye kiss"
"I want to be with you Brooke"
"What!"
"I'm sorry, I know we are friends; it's just how I feel."
"What about Peyton's stuff?"
"I keep that stuff as a reminder of how madly I screwed up things, with you. To remind myself that if I ever get a second chance, I would never let you go again."
"So you made a lucky shot. Do you really think there's only one person in this entire planet that's right for you?"
"I do."
"Okay, what about Peyton? I hear you once had the same feelings for her. Maybe she's the one. Or, being that we're still in high school, maybe you haven't met the one."
"But I have. And she's in that apartment
"We are going to be a power couple! He is going to be a famous novelist, and I'm going to have a fabulous fashion line."
"But we are still going to have time to have a big family
"Two boys, and a girl"
"And I'll coach little league"
"And I'll bake treats for the team... or buy them."
"And we will spend our summer in our beach house."
"And winter in the southern France"
"It won't matter where we are, as long as we are together"
"People that are meant to be, always find their way back together in the end."