Thanks to my awesome beta's PixieKat7 and GrayMatters for agreeing to help my sorry ass again with this story.
Any errors you see below will be all mine.
By the way, I cuss, a lot, if that offends, please stop reading now!
Fuck count= a meager 10, I'ma have to try harder in chapter 2 huh?

Also thanks to Nikita2009 and Katinki for pre-reading for me.

A couple of fic recs for you: An Undefined Affair by Jayhawkbb (it is fucking brilliant!) and Watermark by Jay's World

Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.

Chapter One

My best friend Angela and her husband Ben were always trying to set me up on blind dates. They always told me they wanted me to find someone special and settle down, be happy like they were. I didn't think it was possible, I just never managed to find "the one".

Angela told me it was because I was too picky. I don't know, maybe she was right, but honestly, is it so wrong to want my intellectual equal? Someone who could keep up with me, stimulate my brain and not fall into the grunting non communicating chasm of couples who stop conversing and just sit watching mindless television shows getting stuck in the proverbial rut of life. I know I didn't want or need that, how boring. I'd rather be alone, just me and my vibrator, before I'd succumb to some stupid relationship based on nothingness for the sake of a good fuck. No thanks, I'll fucking pass.

I was twenty-six, I was smart, had a college degree and a great job in an software engineering firm in downtown Seattle. I had a beautiful condo in the Queen Anne area, walking distance to all the downtown sights and sounds. My life was perfection. The only thing missing, in Angela and Ben's opinion, was a man.

I was constantly telling them not to worry, I was happy, I didn't need what they had. Their insistence grew worse once Angela got pregnant. Now she was about a month away from delivery and her maternal instincts were in high gear.

Angela had been yapping in my ear for about a year now about some guy Ben was always talking about, his new 'bestie' from work. Some douchewaffle named Edward Cullen. With a name like Edward, the dude probably wore hideous clothes and dumb shoes. It's the damn twenty-first century for fuck's sake, who names their kid Edward? I didn't know, but, I wasn't interested in him based on his name alone. Strike one, if you know what I mean. Ben just called him Cullen, so obviously even he had a problem with the name Edward.

I guess 'Cullen' worked with Ben at the Seattle Times, he was a writer, a reporter, a jack of all trades. Ben was smitten. Ang said it was like if Edward was a chick instead of a dude, Ben would so be banging him. She of course said this with a laugh, we teased Ben constantly about his insane need to go on and on about Cullen.

One day over lunch, Angela told me she and Ben had been talking about hooking me up with Cullen. Oh hell no, I was not going down that road again. They were always trying to set me up. It never worked, never.

The last time they set me up it was with some dickwad Ben met through an advertising salesman who worked at the Times. The dude had a freaking patchwork leather coat for fuck's sake and he was about five foot nothing. Now I don't mind being taller than my date, if they haven't got the need to stand on their tip toes when they walk or rave incessantly about how awesome they are in the sack. This guy told me he could be in porn, his cock was so big and didn't I want to see it to believe it. I excused myself to the restroom and called Ang with an S.O.S. She and Ben miraculously showed up and saved me from a fate worse than death. Jesus, no more blind fucking dates!

That was why when she suggested Cullen I replied, "Ang, sweetie, I know you mean well, but I swear by all that is holy, I do NOT want to get set up on a date ever again. I'm good babe," I was clearly panicked as I picked through my salad, trying like hell to avoid looking at her face for fear of her manipulation tactics.

"Bella, come on... please...," she leaned down to get eye level with me as she pouted and batted her eyelashes.

God damn, what a piece of work. She knew I couldn't refuse that face, especially when she rubbed her hand over her cute baby belly like a desperate woman making her last wish on a fucking magic lamp. I should've kept my eyes averted, dammit!

"Cullen, Ang? Really? Come on, you said yourself, he's a little 'rough', " I whined, staring hard into her brown orbs, praying to whatever deity would listen. I so did NOT want to succumb and go on this fucking date. She had told me at one time she thought Cullen was anti-social. I didn't need that shit.

"Bellaaaa... come on! One date, what can it hurt? If you don't like him, you'll never have to see him again, Ben and I will even have you for dinner so you won't be alone with him. Come on, say yes. Puhleeeeese!" she begged, her hands clasped together under her chin, her face sweet and cherub-like.

"Besides, he's been around our house a lot lately Bella, he's a sweetheart, an absolute doll. Oh and did I mention? Yeah, he's easy on the eyes, I see why Ben wants to make him his 'girl'," she added playfully, as she giggled and fanned herself.

Angela and Ben were my best friends, they were everything to me. We were the same age and all had similar backgrounds, no family. My, Angela and Ben's families were all gone, not one living relative. They were both orphaned as children, met at seventeen in a group foster care home and got married two years later. I had lost my dad, Charlie, to cancer two years earlier, my Mom had died when I was eight. Angela and Ben were my family. Cullen, on the other hand, apparently came from a large family. They had all opened their hearts and homes to Angela and Ben, lavishing baby gifts onto them constantly.

That was another strike against Cullen in my book. He came from money. He had no clue what it meant to work hard for your money or how to make a paycheck stretch from payday to payday. My Dad and I made things work on his cop's salary, we knew how to make a dollar stretch. I was sure Cullen was a rich, pretentious asshole and I hated people like him on principle alone. The guy was obviously clueless on how life worked.

"Ang, babe, please don't make me do this... I can't go on a date with Cullen, I just can't," I groaned, looking anywhere but at her eyes. God help me if I looked in her eyes she would use her magic preggo mama juju on me and make me agree to the date.

She started in on me all tough and stern, "Bella! Dammit! You ARE going to come for dinner, it won't be a date, it will just be you and Cullen with Ben and I and we'll just be casual, no expectations I promise. If you aren't having fun you can always leave before dessert, but you should know though...Ben is making his famous gingerbread cake and lemon sauce for the baby and I," but by the end of her tirade she was sing-songing at me with a smirk on her gorgeous face.

"You know how much you like that...," she trailed off, grinning widely.

How can one pregnant woman be such a pain in my ass? How dare she appeal to my sugar addiction. That was blackmail dammit!

"FINE! I'll come," I said petulantly, as I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest and gave her an exasperated frown.

"YAY!" she squealed, clapping her hands together in glee. "I swear Bella, you're going to love Edward, he is so sweet and so fucking delicious looking. You're gonna want to have HIM for dessert!" she added excitedly, her eyes dancing in delight.

Angela's warm laughter washed over me. I would do anything for her and she knew it.

I shook my head at her. "You look like a damn seal woman! Knock it off!" I said biting my cheek, trying not to laugh at her insanity. God it was so easy to make her happy. Fuck. It looked like I had a damn date with the pretentious rich asshole.

"Okay Bella, this Friday, it is a date! Errr, I mean a dinner, yeah a dinner, not a date! Good freaking God, not a damn date!" she said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

"I can't wait to tell Ben, he'll be so excited, he's been telling Cullen he needed to hook up with you for ages. They've been friends for over a year now and it makes Ben crazy that you and Edward haven't met yet. Our two best friends should meet right? I mean come on, you guys are perfect for each other, Ben has been saying it for months," she said, as her breath whooshed out, her lack of oxygen clearly ending her spiel, it seemed her verbal diarrhea was never ending today.

"Jesus Ang, take a freaking breath why don't you? I wouldn't want your lack of oxygen to effect the baby or anything," I answered sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her, adding, "I told you I will come for dinner, as far as Cullen and I being perfect for each other, I find that highly doubtful, he is clearly not my type, but, I'll do it for you. Dammit, you tell Ben I want an extra big piece of that cake for doing this, I'll need the sugar to maintain my loving personality."

"Oh Bella, knock it off, don't be such a bitch. You know you're curious about Cullen, if you weren't, you'd have blown me off quicker than shit," Angela said mockingly, with a quirk of her brow.

"Oh, I'll admit to being curious, but I feel not one iota of attraction based on all of our conversations regarding Cullen in the past. I don't see how you think we're 'perfect' for each other but then again, I don't necessarily think there's anyone perfect for me, so it really doesn't matter," I offered softly.

"See Bella, that's the thing - that comment is exactly why Ben and I want you to find someone. We just want you to be happy like we are and since you make no effort to find someone on your own, we must help you along. Ben actually thinks you and Cullen have the same problem. You're too picky, you don't think you need anyone, you aren't looking, blah, blah, blah,... you need to meet, he is sweet, good looking, smart and has a great job. I know you will enjoy talking with him and he'll make you laugh. The guy is hysterical," she said firmly, gazing at me intently, the love for me clearly showing in her eyes.

"Okay Ang, I promise I won't be a bitch. I will show up with my game face on and be the nice friend you and Ben want me to be. I promise to treat Cullen like a king, but I swear to you, if he ends up being a dick, I may never forgive you!"

"Thank you Bella, I am so excited! I can't wait to tell Ben you agreed, he will be stoked too," she said excitedly as she bounced up and down in her seat.

"All right then, what time on Friday and what should I wear?" I asked, my eyebrow raised.

"Come casual, we'll barbecue, but you need to be there by six though, so you can enjoy cocktail hour, relax and get to know Cullen," she said, trying to tone down her obvious excitement.

"Okay then, I'll be there at six. I meant what I said though, you tell Ben I want a big-ass piece of that cake, I'll deserve it I'm sure!" I said firmly.

"Oh, by the way, please for the love of God, tell me he does NOT wear a patchwork leather jacket?" I asked, jokingly.

"Oh Bella, as if," Ang said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me.

We finished our meal and I left the restaurant wondering how the fuck this all happened. I ended up saying yes, when I wanted to say no, to a date with a guy who I knew would be a dead end. Well, the only, and I mean the only thing I was going to enjoy was the damn dessert!

A/N: I plan on updating every 7-10 days. I hope you'll all enjoy the story.