Thanks to my awesome beta's PixieKat7 and GrayMatters.
Any errors you see below will be all mine.
Again, I cuss, a lot, if that offends you please stop reading now!
Fuck count= 18
Just an FYI: My B&E are very OOC!

Also thanks to Nikita2009 (read her stuff) and Katinki (truly a goddess, read her stuff too) for pre-reading for me, they are both invaluable to me.

A fic rec for you: Tangled by teamhybrid, check it out.

Stephenie Meyers owns all Twilight related characters you see below. The words are mine.

Chapter Two

Ang had called me at least ten damn times in the past two days reminding me of my promise to come for dinner at their house tonight, not to mention bugging me incessantly at work about it too. Now she wanted me there earlier so Ben could give me a 'Cullen run-down'. Whatever the fuck that meant.

I was nervous. I hated fix ups and usually avoided them like the plague. I was always uptight because you don't want to upset your friends who are doing the fixing up, but on the other hand, if you don't mesh with someone you don't mesh with them. You can't make things happen that aren't meant to be.

I had been involved with someone long ago who ripped my heart to pieces, and I just didn't know if I could go down that path again. I was happy alone. I knew I could depend on myself and honestly I was fine with that.

I didn't ever want to put myself in the position I'd been in when Jake left me. It was bad enough he left me, but he left me for another man for fuck's sake. I wasn't sure my ego could take something like that again. Do you have any idea what happens when you get dumped and your ex goes for someone of the same sex? People automatically think that you should've known your partner was gay. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, let me tell you, you do NOT always know. I hadn't a clue. That had been a real eye opener for certain and totally changed my approach to relationships.

I finished getting ready, smoothing my brown hair down, catching the frizzies with some hairspray. I put on some light make up, blush, lip gloss and mascara. I studied my appearance critically in the mirror. I considered myself average-looking, sometimes a little mousy. I did have nice high cheekbones and full lips, and my brown eyes were pretty in the right light. My figure wasn't too thin or too thick- in other words I wasn't skinny and I wasn't fat. I did have nice tits though, if I did say so myself.

I wondered what Cullen would think of me and realized, shrugging my shoulders, that it didn't matter what he thought, I had no one to impress after all. This date that wasn't a date was all about cake, gingerbread cake with lemon sauce to be exact. Nummy, I could hardly wait for dessert!

I pulled on my old ratty Levi's, black Billy Idol vintage t-shirt and high top black Chuck Taylors. Angela would have a fit, and that thought made me grin - oh it was going to be so much fun to mess with her! Of course Ben would see right through me, he always does.

Angela had begun her maternity leave from work. Today had been her last day, and we had thrown her a small going away party. She was going to be a stay at home mom for the baby's first year. I couldn't imagine what that would be like, so self sacrificing, I wasn't sure I would be able to do it. I was going to miss working with her every day, she was my light there. I hadn't believed my luck at us both getting a job with the same software firm, because it made going to work every day much more enjoyable.

As I made my way to their West Seattle home, I thought about how smart she and Ben were. They had purchased their home six years ago at below market value and she and Ben had painstakingly re-done almost the entire thing inside. It was lovely and quaint and Angela told me they had recently paid the loan off so she could stay home. I can't imagine how that must feel, outright owning your own home at the ripe old age of twenty six. I only leased my condo, I didn't want the commitment of home ownership. Not now, I wanted to be free and easy. Ben told me once, they bought their house cheap knowing they could afford something more but they knew they wanted to start a family and Angela wanted to be home with the babies they planned on having. They were able to pay a huge down payment and then doubled their house payments to then pay it off in six years, astounding. It was in a delightful little neighborhood full of lovely elderly people who took magnificent care of their homes and yards. The neighbors adored Ben and Angela, like most everyone they knew did.

I pulled up to the house and parked my little Honda Civic at the curb. I jumped out of the car and locked the door, making my way up the walkway. It was a lovely fall evening, the leaves were turning and Halloween was just around the corner. There were cute carved pumpkins on their stoop, smiling evilly at me as I made my way to the door. The covered porch was lit up with cute jack-o-lantern lights and leaves. There were also potted mums and spider webs all around. Angela was so crafty, it looked like Martha Stewart had come to town. I had to smile, Ben and Angela were the consummate decorators when it came to Halloween, they loved that holiday the most.

I knocked on the door and it swung open. Ben stood there grinning from ear to ear at me, his eyebrow raised in response to my wardrobe choice.

"Bells, you know she is going to kill you right?" he said seriously, his mouth twitching, trying valiantly not to gut laugh at my t-shirt, jeans and shoes.

"Yep, I know!" I answered wickedly, a cackling laugh booming out of my chest, as I walked through the door into the entryway of the house.

Ben was so cute, he was shorter than average but didn't have that short man's complex so many guys get when they aren't as tall as their buddies are. He didn't ever puff his chest out at me, didn't ever push himself up on his toes when he walked or stood, he didn't even talk extra loud or drive a big, stupid fucking truck to make up for his lack of height. Nope, he was just a great guy all around.

His dark hair was wavy and combed back to one side, he had on jeans and a white t-shirt and was holding a beer in one hand. He looked at me and inclined his head towards the beer as if to say 'want one?', which I did, badly.

I nodded to him, still smiling over my wardrobe choice and followed him into the kitchen to get my beer. I saw Angela standing there in an adorable red maternity shirt that said "Got Milk!" paired with cute little black leggings, barefoot. Her dark, almost black hair was pulled up in a high ponytail. Tonight she had on her tortoise shell glasses instead of contacts, she looked like damn a teenager. She was cutting lettuce and tomatoes for the burgers we were having and happened to glance up at me when Ben and I walked into the kitchen.

She stood motionless, her mouth in an 'O' shape at first, until it snapped closed.

Taking a deep breath she said angrily, "Jesus fucking Christ Bella, really? You had to wear the ugliest damn clothes you own? When I said casual, I didn't say retro fugly. Shit." Sarcasm dripped off her words, her eyes big and round as she stared stonily at me.

I gulped audibly, took a big swig of the beer Ben handed me and said, "Don't you look cute tonight little Mama..." It didn't work. Angela gave me the 'the look' meaning she wasn't buying my attempt to butter her up with compliments.

She was holding a knife, I figured I'd better try to give her a compliment, appeal to her maternal nature if you will, lest she slice me open in a fit of hormonal rage.

Well, honesty is supposed to be the best policy, so I said matter-of-factly, "I wanted to be comfortable Ang, besides, it isn't a date, remember?"

"Fuck you Bella, just fuck right off," she answered back with venom in her voice. Uh oh, the little preggo mama was pissed at me. I couldn't have that, not at all.

"Look Ang, I'm sorry, I just don't want to do this, I told you I didn't want to have to go on a date. Besides look at it this way, if Cullen likes me like this, he will really like me. It is the real deal, it doesn't get much worse than this anyhow, right?" I said staring back at her, smiling softly so she knew I was sincere. I meant every word of what I said too. I was not trying to impress Cullen, not on any level. This was me, like me or not and I so hoped it was a not.

She took a deep breath, sighing deeply as she exhaled and looked to Ben for support. He just shrugged his shoulders and kissed her cheek. She looked back at me and said sarcastically, "You're such a bitch, get your ass over here and help me slice the onions, the preggo lady doesn't want to ruin her make-up. Since you don't give a shit, you get to slice them and cry all over, maybe you'll even have some snot showing by the time Cullen shows up, ya think?"

I just laughed as I walked over and bumped her hip with mine, indicating she needed to move. I grabbed the knife and started slicing the onions for her as Ben grabbed another beer and leaned against the counter to talk to us as we worked.

"So Bells, I wanted to see if you have any questions about Cullen before he gets here," Ben asked me.

"Well, no, not really," I answered with a shrug, I didn't care one way or another to be truthful. I just wanted to get the night over so they would leave me alone about Cullen.

"He is a great guy Bella, you're going to like him. He has a quirky sense of humor and he comes from a wonderful family. He is one of the hardest workers I've ever known and honestly, he could totally be doing anything in the world, he is so smart, but he likes being a reporter so much that's all he wants to do," Ben said, with a slight swoon to his voice. Jesus, I detected a little hero worshiping going on here. Crap, was this guy a fucking God or something?

"Wow Ben, way to get all romantic over Cullen, are you sure you don't want to date him?" I asked laughing.

"Kiss my ass Bella, he's a great guy, you're lucky he's coming to meet you, he could ha..." he trailed off, his eyes huge.

"BEN!", Angela screeched, "Stop that right now!" She was looking at him as though he'd grown another head.

"Hmmmmm... so Cullen could date anyone huh? I'm lucky huh?" I said slowly, staring at him while giving him the evil eye and pointing the knife at him.

"Sorry Bella, I was out of line there. He'd be lucky if you'd deem him good enough to date... that's what I should've said," he answered remorsefully, giving his head a shake as he looked down at his beer.

"It's okay Ben, I know what you meant. I've been busting your balls for three days now over this, it can't have been easy to deal with my shit. I promise I will be good to your friend. I know Cullen is special to you," I said softly and sincerely. It was time to play nice, I loved Ang and Ben, I could be the friend they needed tonight and make this fun, it didn't have to be awkward. I made a vow right then to be extra nice to Cullen.

Little did I know it was going to be hard to keep that promise, so very hard, in fact, it was going to be impossible.

At exactly six o'clock the doorbell rang. Uh oh, it was zero hour. Cullen had arrived and he was oh so punctual.

Ben set his beer on the kitchen counter, gave me a wink and headed to the living room to open the door and let Cullen in.

I could hear mutters of conversation, but wasn't able to discern what was being said.

Angela gave me one last glance, her eyes squinting at me with warning, her lips in a thin, straight line. She was letting me know I'd better behave myself.

I smiled at her and nodded in acknowledgment, turning myself around to face the music, if you will.

Ben came around the corner first followed by a taller guy with a shock of golden reddish brown hair peeking out from under a baseball cap. He was tall, I'd give him that.

As Ben moved to the side, I saw Cullen's face for the first time. Angela was right, he was kind of pretty. He looked at me with a smile on his face, his greenish blue eyes crinkled in the corners. He had on faded Levi's and a faded blue t-shirt, casually impressive. He too was barefoot, he must've left his shoes by the front door.

He then turned to Angela, handing her a bouquet of flowers, saying extra sweetly, "Here you go pretty lady, I hope you like peonies, my Mom told me most women do."

Oh God, his Mom told him? How old was this guy? He couldn't go out and just get the flowers himself, he had to involve his mommy? I started laughing internally, a huge smirk on my face. Ben coughed and I looked over at him to see a look that told me he knew exactly where my evil mind had gone. I gave a slight nod to reassure him I was gonna play nice.

"Oh Cullen! That's so sweet! Isn't that just the sweetest thing Bella?" Angela answered him and asked me at the same time, looking over at me like a crazy woman.

"Yeah, sweet," I answered sarcastically, eyebrow raised. Fuck, this might be the longest evening of my life.

Ben chose that moment to pipe up and say, "Cullen, this is our Bella, Bella this is Cullen."

"Hi Cullen," I said, sticking my hand forward to shake his, "Nice to finally meet Ben's girlfriend." I laughed heartily after that last bit.

Cullen's mouth opened a bit, his brow furrowed as he hesitantly reached forward to take my hand, shaking it without much gusto. What a puss.

"Uh yeah, nice to meet you too Bella, I've heard a lot of nice things about you," he said, looking me in the eye but letting go of my hand and wiping it on his pant leg after he was done shaking it.

What. The. Fuck?

I wanted to ask him what his problem was after shaking my hand, but instead I slyly took a quick sniff of my hand to see if it had onion guts on it or something. Nope, I was clean and dry. Weird, maybe Cullen was a germ-a-phobe?

Angela had Ben get a vase for the flowers and we all grabbed a beer and headed out to the deck to sit down while Ben started the grill. Angela was having iced tea, no beer for the pregnant lady.

After we all grabbed a chair Ang initiated conversation between the four of us. God it was so awkward. I could see Cullen trying to sneak looks at me under his pretty eyelashes, oh Christ on a cracker, please don't tell me he is gay too? No, no, Ben would know, they were besties. I calmed myself down over that thought.

"So Cullen, what exactly do you do for the Times?" I asked, sincerely wondering what he did since he seemed to have quite a few titles at the paper.

"Well, mostly I'm the local sports reporter, I go to games and cover all sporting events in the area. I also do regular reporting as well when we do exposés on unique topics. I recently covered a story about the town of Forks being inundated by fans of those Twilight books. There was a big convention there a few weeks ago and about two hundred women showed up. Some of them got a little wild, the local sheriff told me they had to pull them over and they weren't even driving," he said laughing, then taking a big swig of his beer.

"Wait a minute? You mean the cops weren't driving? Or the women weren't driving?" I asked, my brows furrowed in confusion.

"No, the women were walking and got a bit loud, people called the station and complained so the cops went to find them to ask them to quiet down. Apparently they were a good looking group, the cops said they wished they'd gotten their numbers," he answered me, grinning widely.

"Oh, hmmm, that's... yeah, kind of funny," I said awkwardly and gave out a courtesy chuckle.

Angela looked at me darkly, clearly wishing I'd try a little harder.

"What do you do for fun Bella?" Edward asked, giving me a pointed look, one eyebrow arched.

"Well I work for the same company Angela does, I am a software engineer, which means I create computer software and make sure it works correctly," I answered.

"That's what you do for fun?" he asked me, a little snidely I might add, while he took a huge gulp of his beer and burped loudly. Ewww, disgusting. How old was he anyway?

"Well no, I don't work for fun, although I enjoy my work. I like to go the SAM, I enjoy reading and visit the library whenever I can, I..." I kind of trailed off at the end, realizing I sounded so fucking boring. "I like to spend time with Ben and Ang," I added cheerfully, trying like hell to make myself sound a little more interesting. WAIT! Why do I care?

"Ohkaaaayyy," he drawled sarcastically, I think I even noticed a little eye roll. Oh goody, Cullen was as into this as I was. Perfect, no worries, he didn't want to get fixed up with me any more than I wanted to get fixed up with him.

We started talking to Ben and Angela about the baby, a nice safe topic and that took the pressure off Cullen and I. Ben and Angela hadn't wanted to know the sex of the baby, wanted it to be a surprise and all. I totally tried talking them into finding out, I would go nutso if I was pregnant and didn't know what I was having, not that I was planning on getting pregnant anytime soon.

"We have finally narrowed down the names though," Angela said, looking at me and smiling, "If she's a girl, she will be called Claire Marie and if he's a boy, his name will be Robert Charles in honor of Bella's dad Charlie, who was like a father to Ben and I," she said, her eyes filling with tears.

I was overcome, they hadn't told me their name choices. I got tears in my eyes and smiled a watery smile, noticing Cullen staring at me. Whatever, dickwad.

"I love it Ang, Charlie would have too," I said softly, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze.

She hugged me and Ben smiled hugely at me. Then Ben announced that the burgers were ready. We all got our plates and sat down to eat. There was no conversation, only eating, drinking and burping. Jesus, Cullen was disgusting. I halfway expected him to start scratching his nutsack pretty soon. I knew he spent time with Ben and Ang occasionally, but they didn't seem bothered with his lack of manners. I was though.

"Um, can't you say excuse me when you burp?" I finally asked him, staring daggers at him as I did.

"Oh? Does it bother your sensitive nature?" he sneered, pausing, his hand around the beer bottle, ready to consume more.

"Oh I don't know, maybe I just think it is RUDE?" I said back to him with as much emphasis on the word rude as I could, my eyebrow quirked in question. Then the bickering began in earnest.

"Sorrrrry... I'll try to keep it down to a minimum for you Bella, I wouldn't want to bother you."

"Oh goody, thanks for the effort Cullen, nice to know you care so much. Not."

"Whatever. You'd never know from the way you're dressed that you have a problem with burping."

"What exactly is wrong with the way I'm dressed?" I screeched, looking down at myself.

"Oh Jesus, first of all, way to put out some effort, secondly at least you could have picked a shirt with a decent musician on it. Billy Idol? Really?" he snarled at me, taking another huge drink of his beer and burping again in the process.

Oh fuck no! Those were fighting words! No one, and I mean no one, messes with my Billy!

"What. The. Fuck. Billy fuckin' Idol is a fucking god! Clearly you have no taste. Who do you like? Yanni or some shit?" I asked rudely, the pitch and tone of my voice shrill.

I saw Angela give Ben a 'oh fuck' look, knowing my devotion to Billy Idol. Non-date was clearly over and no way in hell would there be any kind of recovering from this idiot making a mistake like this.

"I don't like Yanni, who the fuck does? But I do like musicians who make an impact on the world of music, like Jeff Beck or The Beatles or The Rolling Stones," he said snidely.

What a pretentious prick, I knew this was a mistake, I fucking knew it!

"I need to go Ben, Ang, I have a pain, yeah a pain and it's in my ass and that pain, it has a name. It's name is Cullen," I said venomously, scooting my chair out and standing up, not caring what he thought at that moment.

"I'm a pain in your ass? That's rich, you're such a bitch, you weren't even into this at all, not from the start, why should I bother being nice and trying?" Cullen came back at me, also standing up, his voice laced with contempt, fury evident in his eyes.

I looked at his face, his beautiful fucking face and I said loudly, "Non-date is over. I'm done." I turned and looked down at an obviously shocked, still seated Ben and Angela saying softly, "Thanks for dinner guys, see you later." I threw my napkin down and turned to go but before I made it to the door I heard Cullen yell.

"I wouldn't date you if you were the last woman on the planet!"

"Perfect!" I answered back over my shoulder, "Because dating you would be worse than having someone surgically remove all my fingernails without anesthesia!" I shouted, as I continued stomping towards the front door.

I turned to look at Ang and Ben, smiled apologetically and said," I'm sorry guys, I love you both, but I really have to go. Now."

Angela looked up at me, her mouth hanging open in shock, clearly stunned by what had just gone down. Ben was staring at Cullen like he grew another head. They were both speechless.

I told them I'd call them tomorrow, rushed out to my car and tore off down the street. What a dick, what a complete dick, I cannot believe they wanted to fix me up with that. I was steaming mad, I swear there was smoke coming out of my ears.

I would never live this down and I was going to have to seriously do some ass kissing with Ben and Ang tomorrow, I was going to be in big trouble. Shit, how could one guy get under my skin like that?

As I sped through town like I was being chased by the demons of hell, it suddenly occurred to me, I didn't get my fucking cake! DAMMIT! One more reason to hate Cullen.

A/N:

The Forks story, with the po-po stopping them while they were walking, all true! That actually happened to some friends of mine recently in Forks.

By the way SAM=Seattle Art Museum.