Ebony and Draco were out for a goffik Valentine's walk on a boat. As they went, Draco rested his hand on Ebony's toe. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so goth, Ebony was filled with stanist dread.

"Do you suppose it's smexy here?" she asked sexily.

"You goffik silly," Draco said, tickling Ebony with his egg. "It's completely sexy."

Just then, a smexy black dragon of goffikness leapt out from behind a toast and kissed Draco in the knee. "Aaargh!" Draco screamed.

Things looked smexy. But Ebony, although she was sexy, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a Gerard Way and, like a totaly epik goffik rokstar, beat the black dragon of goffikness goffikly until it ran off. "That will teach you to touch innocent people."

Then she clasped Draco close. Draco was bleeding sexily. "My darling," Ebony said, and pressed her lips to Draco's front tooth.

"I love you," Draco said smexily, and expired in Ebony's arms.

Ebony never loved again.