A Very Smallville Christmas
Note: I decided to take a little hiatus from my other stories to dabble in ficcing for the Christmas season. This is the first fic idea I had which is going to feature most of the Justice League and will be predominately Chloe/Clark and Oliver/Lois because I'm finding myself wistful for the old days. You might as well call it AU because it doesn't really fit into the timeline at all…unless you want to say that Chlark have been together since S6 (in my quirky little 'verse) and are quite happy together. Likewise with Lollie, and Lois is privy to everything, 'cause I like her that way. And apologies in advance for the totally unoriginal story title.
She didn't like the mall. Really, Lois didn't enjoy shopping in any way, shape, or form. She loved a new pair of boots or a new designer bag as much as the next girl (which, courtesy of her billionaire boyfriend she had more than any human girl could ever hope to use) but shopping was not how she chose to spend her free time.
Lois was not the only one. Yet another thing that she had in common with the sister that she should have had; her cousin, Chloe was their mutual dislike for shopping. It had become Holiday Tradition-they would go in, they would go out, and they were done. Insert bottle of pinot noir here.
She was at her desk at the Daily Planet when her cell phone rang with a call from Chloe.
"It's December twentieth." Chloe said when Lois answered the phone. "Did you notice?"
Lois glanced at her calendar, wishing her cousin was wrong. Horribly, terribly wrong.
"You're right." Lois said, sighing heavily and cursing inwardly. Damn you, December. Damn you, Christmas.
"Good news first or bad news?" Chloe asked, not sounding to optimistic and bubbly herself.
"We have five day until Christmas. How can it possibly get any worse?"
"Clark and Oliver have both done their Christmas shopping. All of it, apparently."
"They did what?" Lois shot dirty looks at all of the news staff that turned to look at her and they turned back to their computers abruptly.
"I don't know what I'm getting Clark." Chloe said, "But the good news is that my dad talked to the General and neither one of them can make it to Kansas for Christmas. My dad has to work and can't get away and the General is going to Switzerland to make sure Lucy is behaving."
"That's one less problem to deal with." Lois agreed. "At least I just have to mail them their gifts and-crap! That means I have to stand in that ridiculous line in the post office."
Or not, Lois considered, she wondered if Oliver would loan her an intern to stand in line for eight hours at the post office to mail her gifts. After all, they were gofers, and the General would never need to know…
"Tomorrow?" Chloe asked her. "I'm going to creep around Clark and see if I can get some sort of hint about what he wants."
"Do some hinting for me too." Lois told her, "If not, I swear I'm-Clark!"
Lois jumped as she saw him walk into the newsroom.
"I guess I'll just have to put my reporter nose to good use." Lois said cryptically. "See you tomorrow."
"Merry Christmas to you too."
Lois hung up the phone. Not that she was a scrooge, but what the hell was merry about Christmas. If she had her stats right, 'tis the season for suicides, twasn't it?
. . .
Chloe looked over the recipe for Martha's pumpkin pie that the Senator had given her with the promise that it was for her eyes only, and wondered if she was getting in over her head. It was one thing to say that she was going to make the Christmas dinner-it was another thing to actually pull it off.
You wanted to impress Clark, Chloe reminded herself, you just had to prove that you can do it all. You can be Watchtower, their go-to computer girl, but at the end of the day you can still come home and be Martha Kent.
She didn't know how Mrs. Kent did it. She was a wonder woman. Chloe knew the menu, she spent enough Christmases with the Kents to know what the traditional fare was-a succulent roast duck, with a cranberry-orange glaze was the center, followed by a chestnut and cherry dressing, sweet potatoes and roasted marshmallows, green beans, fried zucchini, fresh baked rolls served hot from the oven, braised endives and turnips, and mashed potatoes.
"It's never matched the rest of the meal once I started making duck." Martha laughed, explaining to Chloe over the phone. "But it's been a staple for Clark since he was little and I made turkey. He was so devastated the year that I didn't make mashed potatoes."
And so she would make mashed potatoes. Chloe Sullivan would not fail, this would be the Christmas of all Christmases. Clark would never forget it. And she'd already warned the team, she didn't want to hear a peep out of them. From Bart Allen to Kara Kent up to Oliver Queen, she dared them to give her trouble until Christmas was over. So help her, she'd take them all on.
"I have bigger birds to fry." Chloe muttered under her breath, slipping the recipe into her purse.
There was still the matter of Christmas shopping. She and Clark had bought Martha a joint gift, a gift certificate to this really great spa in Metropolis that she went to with Lois, and months ago she bought Lois two tickets to this big Monster Tuck rally in Texas; possibly just for the amusement of having to see Oliver go to one. Oliver Queen at a Monster Truck Rally…Lois had better take pictures. For the league she was taking the easy way out, and buying them all gift certificates, they knew what they wanted better than she did. Except for Oliver, she had to get creative with him. What did you get for the guy who had everything and then some?
She was still working on that. She was determined to make it good, she owed him for getting her tickets to some self-help speaker that her dad was all gung-ho on these days.
And, of course, she had to mail out her gifts to the General (cigars from her and Clark), and a gift certificate for Lucy to one of her favorite stores across the pond. So…Clark and Oliver. What in the world do you buy for the guy who wants nothing and the one who needs nothing?
. . .
Lois concluded that if she had her cousin's hacking skills, she could just hack into the stupid computer and find out what stupid, hot, Ollie wanted for Christmas. But she couldn't and she didn't and…
Damn him. It would serve him right if she didn't get him anything. You could always give him yourself… Lois entertained the thought for about a second, red bow and all before discarding it. No freakin' way.
What to buy for a guy who liked tights, arrows, and had a fetish for green leather?
Argh…Billionaires weren't exactly apples and peaches to shop for.
Lois picked her pen up from her desk and threw it at Clark to get his attention. For some reason he was entirely engrossed in reading something on his desk she couldn't see.
Lois felt a grin slide across her face when he looked startled. It felt good to get the jump on Super-Clark.
"What does Oliver want for Christmas?" She demanded.
"I don't know what he told you, but when we're working we don't sit around and trade our Dear Diaries with each other." Clark told her. "He's your boyfriend."
Lois mumbled an obscenity under her breath that she was sure Clark got more than the gist of.
"Fine." She grumbled, "Any idea what Chloe's had her eye on? I still need to buy for her too."
I'm getting you coal, Smallville, Lois decided silently. As hard as it was keeping her clever witticisms to herself, it wasn't good to press the person whose help she required.
"You didn't get Chloe's gift either?" Clark raised an eyebrow at her. "She bought your ages ago."
Of course she did, because Chloe was an anal-obsessive who did almost everything ahead of time. Unlike her, which meant while Chloe was leisurely shopping for just Clark, she would be running around trying to find something for everyone.
"What is it?" Lois said out of habit, smiling when Clark's mouth opened and snapped back shut.
"Cute." He shook his head, "Oliver must love you."
"That's the rumor." Lois nodded her head, "Or else I'm really flexible, if you-"
"No." Clark interjected, interrupting her. "Don't finish that sentence. I don't want to know."
Lois shrugged. "Whatever, Smallville. You think you can hold down the fort?"
"Its dead around here." Clark told her, "I think I can manage. Why? Have a hot date?"
"I have to go meet Chloe at the Mall of Metropolis. Try and get along okay without me."
Clark rolled his eyes at her. "Feel free to spend as much money on me as you need to."
"Don't worry." Lois retorted, "I won't strain myself."
. . .
"So, Dianah and AC had some kind of spat." Chloe shared the newest of new league news over a pre-mall madness latte. "She says there is no way she's coming if the 'inbred fishstick' is going to be there, and his feelings are pretty mutual…something about birds, coops, and Tippy Henderen."
"Well that's good for you, right?" Lois said, "Two less to wrangle and cook for and keep out of Mrs. Kent's linen closet."
"Whatever." Chloe grumbled, thinking back to how accurate her warnings of workplace dating had been, and how they should have been taken to heart. Even Oliver had told her to give it a rest, but she'd been right.
Plus, he was the last one who could call her a hypocrite. Dating Lois was about as close to mingling business and pleasure as he could get without hooking up with her, and she didn't think Clark or Lois would approve. They both had jealous streaks, one of them having a more extreme streak than the other.
Chloe smiled with amusement at the little mini-movie that played out in her head. If Oliver was her plus one, she'd probably kill him.
Never mind that she was in love with Clark, and more interested in window shopping for the elusive engagement ring than stupid gifts for stupid superheroes who don't even RSVP and cancel properly. Who cancels an invitation as a p.s., by the way, over a comm? Stupid, rude, superheroes.
"…and he's driving me crazy, Chlo."
Chloe woke up in the middle of a classic Lois rant and naturally had no idea whatsoever who the 'he' was or what his carnal sin was that she was describing. It could be anyone from Oliver to Clark to the overzealous barista at the counter who balked over Lois' request for extra whipped cream.
This was why they didn't have a favorite restaurant. No one wanted a repeat performance of Lois Lane.
"He's a control freak!"
It could still go either way, Chloe thought, nodding her head in agreement regardless.
"What did he do this time?" Chloe kept her fingers crossed that it was either Oliver or Clark they were talking about, or she'd have some serious backpedaling to do.
"He thinks that I can't even handle a little bit of winter weather." Lois snapped, "I don't know how you put up with him…you could certainly do better. If I lived with him, I'd kill him."
Lois set her cup down on the table with a slight crack of finality.
Bingo, Chloe grinned as she watched Lois check to see if she broke the cup, Clark it was. He sure did know how to press Lois' buttons.
"It's probably not all his fault." Chloe said with a straight face, taking a sip if her macchiato. "You know Oliver has an overprotective instinct. He probably told Clark to keep an eye on you."
"Hmph." Lois' eyebrows furrowed together. "Fine. I'll kill him too."
Good luck Oliver, Chloe thought with amusement.
"Might as well get this over with." Chloe said brightly, a bubbly tone that seeped out of her as she looked into the bustling mall.
Outside of the coffee shop was complete, rushing madness. If Chloe wasn't wrong, it was something akin to her worst nightmare.
"Oh damn," Lois said, dropping her cup onto the counter with another clatter. "I have to get that Mia girl something too. I almost forgot about her. I think she's coming back from boarding school any day now…"
"Oohh…" Chloe laughed, "No more late night rendezvous with the sidekick back at home?"
Lois made a face. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you the truth."
Chloe laughed, that was completely possible. She was sure that Lois saw a whole side of Oliver's neurosis that the rest of them haven't even cracked the surface of yet.