Speed Demons

A/N: To think that the entire story came from an idea from a single music video. I have to say this to one of my anonymous reviewers TATA BOX: Panty is not a whore. She was a bit promiscuous and a bit slutty in the past but she is now just a heavily flirting girl that only does such with one guy.

Scanty and Kneesock will not be paired with Naruto but they will have a role to fill.

Someone suggested to me that with Naruto now on Panty and Stocking's side that they would be almost too powerful for anyone to take down but it was then that I came up with an idea that actually followed a bit of the Naruto Shippuuden canon.

I did not portray Stocking as a slut, as some people have said, but the things she did were to TEASE Naruto. It isn't like she is going to actually offer to sleep with him...that's Panty's type of teasing.

Also, for those that were hoping I would update Harry Potter the Game: Epic Edition, just wait a bit longer, this is more of a revenge posting. I'm not usually a spiteful guy but another author finally created a crossover of this type. Now, I wish the author the best of luck but a review in story pissed me off saying his was better than mine and funnier. That just pissed me off, not at the author, that I am a little motivated to proceed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Panty and Stocking.


On the outskirts of Daten City in an area that seemed to be more docile than others, Naruto was relaxing in his bathtub in the bathroom of his apartment. The place wasn't anything like where Panty and Stocking lived but it was still home with all the normal appliances. One of the things that he hated about his apartment was the quietness that filled the rooms, it had become nearly unbearable since the other day when he met the sisters as they had filled his old life with excitement and adventure like he had when he was younger. As a shinobi he had been used to fights where his life was on the line at all times and a single mistake could end in disaster. Without the constant training, his body had lost it's flexibility and the senses that he had once had.

Yesterday played back through Naruto's mind as he relaxed in his bathtub. It had been so long since he had faced an opponent that could actually harm him that his body had cramped up and was stiff from going beyond its limits in his slackened state. Panty and Stocking had walked him home after the fight since it had been nearly impossible for him to move on his own at the time so he had needed some time for his muscles to relax and a hot bath was just what he needed.

'But what exactly was that man? He had powers similar to a Ghost but the feeling he had to him was of something more corrupt and the lack of bells after his defeat leaves clues to it being something else, something possible more powerful than any of the Ghosts.'

The appearance of the man still confused him, he had looked human other than his clothes which had taken on the appearance similar to a Ghost's.

Shaking his head, Naruto pushed those thoughts aside and got out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around his waist as he exited the bathroom. As Naruto walked into his room he quickly changed into his normal clothes (His normal clothes are blue jeans, an orange muscle shirt, and black shoes).

His room could be considered spartan due to the lack of items, as they were all in his living room, except for two items: the picture of Team Seven and two headbands, his own and Jiraiya's.

There was another thing on Naruto's mind though. 'How was it that I was able to use that holy energy that the girls use? One minute all I have is chakra and youki but then there was this...pulse...whenever I touched the girls like something from them was entering my body. It was like when I took the chakra from Kyuubi but this was protective and warm instead of the malevolent feeling that youki gives.'

Putting the thought away, Naruto grabbed his belt and channeled chakra into it to reveal the several small sealing arrays, each capable of holding a sealing scroll or other item. He pulled out several scrolls out of a drawer in his bedside table and sealed them into his belt. Having a small idea, Naruto unsealed a Konoha headband that had once been mother in all but blood, Tsunade Senju, and attached it to his belt buckle with a minor attachment seal so it could be easily removed at his convenience.

With his routine finally done, Naruto walked out his door and hopped onto the roof. Pushing chakra into the base of his feet, he pushed off of the roof and began to leap from roof to roof.

Daten City was a cesspool of depravity and evil that Naruto had almost left the city as soon as he arrived but something in his gut told him to stay for a while and now he was glad that he had as he had met two women that had turned his life upside-down.

As Naruto hopped along the city's roofs, he finally caught sight of Panty and Stocking's home, the church on the far edge of town. At least, that was his plan until he heard the sirens and saw a helicopter flying along one of Daten City's roads. 'Shit, better go see if the girls need some help.' Naruto pulled out a scroll from his belt and surged it with chakra, his sage coat now covered his body and his kitsune mask covered his face.

It didn't take long for Naruto to find the source of the sirens, both Panty and Stocking were chasing after a red-and-white sports car that was speeding down the road. Naruto leapt from the rooftops and unsealed another scroll and opened it. "Kai (Release)." From the scroll, a orange sport bike appear with Naruto firmly seated. As it touched down, the wheels squealed before it started to accelerate down the road.

From where he was, Naruto could see Panty throw a wannabe-biker of his "trike" and continue her chase while Stocking was still inside the Hummer, Naruto shook his head with a laugh. 'Those girls, well the guy deserved it. What self-respecting guy rides a trike and thinks he's a biker?' Naruto's sports bike followed the girls into the mall as he slowly but surely began to catch up to them.

As he finally caught up, he could see the Ghost that they were chasing and it's...unusual headgear. 'Panty's...panties?' The thought caused a blush to cover Naruto's face. He saw Panty jump into the Hummer with Stocking and an oddly colored dog and continue the chase. "Hey girls, need a hand?"

It was at that point that the girls finally noticed Naruto. "Naruto/Naruto-kun!" Just as Panty started to flirt with Naruto, the sirens got louder all of a sudden as the entire DCPD got on both sides of the sports car and all began to shoot at the car, hitting it with an innumerable amount of bullets. Unfortunately, the Ghost didn't take any damage and bounced every bullet off before doing a spin to hit a single police car. That single police car caused every other police car to collide and soon hundreds of police cars began to fall from the sky. 'What the fuck is with Daten City, do the laws of gravity and motion not exist here?'

Naruto watched as the girls barely missed each falling car but he was able weave easily through the falling cars with ease.

As the car continued on, it was soon presented with a blockade of police cars. Just as the Ghost car was about to hit the blockade, a single police car came off the on-ramp and performed a pit maneuver on the Ghost car. This sent the Ghost into a spin as the other police cars rammed into it, car after car rammed into the Ghost until the now squished Ghost car shot out of the pile and right next to where Panty, Stocking, and Naruto were parked.

Panty and Stocking got out of the Hummer with annoyed looks on their faces. "You live fast, you die fast."Panty had a pissed off look while Stocking lifted her sword to stab the Ghost. "Repent." Panty stopped Stocking for a moment and when she went to grab her panties, she noticed that the Ghost had crawled off, this time appearing inside a semi-truck that now had rockets on each side. The truck began to plow through the Police's blockade only for Panty to catch up to it by running on top of the police cars.

Naruto caught up to her and caught onto her idea as he watched her shoot at one of the Ghost truck's rockets. Naruto pulled up along side the rocket and placed a high level Bakuhatsu fuda (Explosive note) onto it. He sped up so that the Ghost could see him and flipped the Ghost off before letting his index finger join his middle finger into a half ram seal. "Baku (explode)." Panty jumped onto Naruto's Sport Bike as the Ghost truck was forced to turn onto the ramp. Down the road, Stocking was on the hood of the Hummer with her sword in hand as the truck sped at her in a high-speed version of Chicken. At the last second, the green dog in the Hummer, turned it to the side and allowed Stocking to cut down the truck and sending it into the air.

As the three road down the freeway, Panty and Stocking were talking back and forth. "Grab the coin and then Naruto can take us to the Ice Cream Shoppe." Stocking licked her lips in the thought of the sweets but Panty broke her daydream. "You didn't destroy my panties, right? Those were expensive!" The two then wondered at the same time. "Where's the bell?"

As if on perfect cue with the girls, a train horn was heard just behind them as the now Ghost train sped past them. "Okay, this guy is starting to piss me off. Girls, lets finish this piece of shit." Naruto accelerated on his Sport Bike and tossed Panty up onto the front of the train where her panties were hanging from a pole on the train. He watched as Stocking in the Hummer got on top of the train just in time as it sped up even more. It was now at the point that Naruto was pushing his motorcycle as fast as it could go. 'Girls, looks like its up to you now.'

On the train, Stocking was pushing See-Through as fast as the Hummer could go while Panty tried to get to her panties while holding onto Chuck, the green dog. Panty noticed that Chuck was stretched from the same pole that her panties were on. "Chuck, what you lack in brains and looks and really anything attractive...you make up for in elasticity." Panty jumped from the Ghost train while holding onto Chuck and was then flung forward and able to grab her panties which immediately took the form of her gun. "Guess you came to early!"

Panty slammed her feet into the glass eye of the Ghost. "It doesn't matter how fast or long you are if you can't use it correctly. Repent!" Panty shot into the Ghost point-blank, finally ending the chase and adding three more Heaven Coins to their collection as the bell rang. As Panty, Stocking, and Naruto drove off, they didn't notice the remains of the Ghost that turned into an ooze and disappeared from sight.

Naruto had since then removed his mask and coat and was now in the Ice cream shoppe at Stocking's request. Stocking of course couldn't make up her mind and choose just one sweet so Naruto ended up having to buy her a few but Panty had never been one for sweets. "Is something wrong, Panty?" The other blonde gave Naruto a look but sighed. "It just that I can't stand sweets like my sister can, I'm more of a spicy girl." An idea came to Naruto's mind and he asked the person behind the counter if he could do something person. Now, most people would have just gotten a "no" but Naruto was rather well known as one of the pure people in Daten and someone that could be counted on so the man allowed it.

Behind the counter, Naruto unsealed some of his spices and gathered some of the other ingredients. He mixed in cayenne pepper into a mixing vanilla and also into a bit of chocolate. When the mixing/cooling was done, Naruto poured then cayenne infused chocolate onto the ice cream and handed it over to Panty but not before getting himself an orange cream smoothie as his love for orange surpassed just the color. As Panty tasted the ice cream, her eyes lit up as she tasted the spice the made the sweetness bearable. She gave Naruto a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Naruto." Stocking on the other hand was smiling behind her sweets but was wondering when Naruto would show HER affection.

The three drove to the church, Naruto on his motorcycle and Panty and Stocking in their Hummer, See-Through. Naruto had been introduced to Chuck, the green dog...thing, and had made the opinion that Chuck was the most idiotic animal he had ever seen but had settled for ignoring him, the girls said they did pretty much the same thing. When they arrived at the church, Naruto was delighted to see that Garterbelt's hair was still blonde but he also noticed that the "priest" had bought hair dyes as well to reverse the bleaching. Naruto grinned, a feral grin of a predator that had it's prey right where it wanted.

The three of them went into the living room, it wasn't that different from his own except much bigger and had a woman's touch, when a topic popped into Naruto's mind. "Panty, Stocking, something has been on my mind since the other night. When that...thing...had you two in it's tentacles I somehow tapped into something that felt like your energy, it felt holy. How was it that I was able to feel that power?" Panty and Stocking looked at each other before stocking began to explain. "Well Naruto, it's like this..."

[Flashback to the other night]

When Naruto had fallen asleep, Panty and Stocking set him on the couch. "Hey Stocking, remember the tale that mom used to tell use back when we were younger?" Stocking looked at her sister in confusion before a moment of clarity. "You mean...Naruto is the one that she was talking about?" Panty nodded. "Mom said that we would find someone that was different than any other guy and would change us for the better, would help us be better...but...just what did she mean, what does any of this mean? All I know is that Naruto has made me feel better than any one-night stand or fuckbuddy...he's special." Panty was running her hand through Naruto's hair when Stocking joined her. "He does the same to me, I focus on things other than sweets and he sees me, not some loner." The two kissed Naruto on the lips and a white glow covered Naruto.

[End Flashback]

"...and that's about it." Naruto was surprised by their story and was blushing a bit. 'I'm their One?' "So, what does this all mean then? That I'm part angel or something?" A low voice came from behind them. "It seems to be the case." Naruto, Panty, and Stocking turned around only for them all to bust out laughing. Instead of turning his hair back to the original color, the dye had turned his hair into a pink afro with streaks of purple. When the three had stopped laughing, Garterbelt continued. "When Panty and Stocking kissed you, Naruto, their holy energies blessed you and you would granted holy energy inside of yourself on par with the girls. You now are part of the defense of Daten City and I have seen you defeat Ghosts that the girls were not able to get. Welcome to the team...NOW CAN YOU FUCKING RETURN MY HAIR BACK TO NORMAL!"

The four and Chuck had dinner together that night, though Naruto was the only one cooking due to Garterbelt's lack of culinary skill though Panty and Stocking helped a little bit. Just as they were all about to go to sleep, sirens sounded throughout the city yet again. "Fucking shit, does it never end?" Yeah, Naruto could tell Panty was just a little angry.

Naruto hopped onto his motorcycle and Panty and Stocking jumped into See-Through. As they drove, they saw a familiar sight in the police chasing a red and black motorcycle. Naruto gripped his throttle tightly as he leaned forward onto his bike just as one would while racing. "Girls, I got this one." With a turn of the throttle, the bike accelerated to speeds that were on par with the other motorcycle. When Naruto caught up to the other biker, he noticed something was wrong, there was a human in control of the bike.

"Hehehe, you think you can keep up with me? Then you need to be faster than that!" The insane looking human was then covered in a red ooze that shaped into a racing suit and his eyes turned yellow as the bike sped up. 'What the hell is that thing?' Naruto pulled on his throttle and accelerated to catch up with the target. This thing was different from the Ghost they had taken care of earlier, instead of seeking speed, it wanted to cause as much chaos as it could as it weaved around corners and through the residential areas of Daten.

It seemed like Naruto would finally be able to get along side the target but a metal door closed behind it. "Shit." Naruto braked hard and swerved around to avoid hitting the door and noticed his way to continue the chase. He sped back down the road and stopped after a little bit. Naruto got his sights on a tipped semi hauler (the long flat part that attaches to to hitch and has two wheels at one end) and revved the engine while the breaks were on. Letting go of the break, his motorcycle sped down the road and when it hit the improvised ramp, it was sent over the building and back onto the road on the other side.

"Naruto, catch!" Naruto looked to the side to see Panty and Stocking driving next to him in See-Through. He saw Panty's hands go under her skirt and slip of her panties and threw them at him causing him to blush. Mid throw, the panties changed into their gun form and Naruto was saved from a little embarrassment. With gun in hand, Naruto took aim at the back wheel of his target and took the shot. The bullet pierced through the wheel and caused the motorcycle to skid and throw it's rider off.

Naruto pulled to a stop and threw the gun back to Panty. As he advanced on the rider, the ooze that covered the man shot out and grabbed the bike that it had used and pulled it to itself. The bike turned into ooze and the rider slowly got up, a distorted laughter emanating from it's throat. The oozed twisted around the rider until began to take shape and the rider began to change. The orange and black coloring that was associated with a Ghost covered the rider as it increased in size, now as tall as a small house. The thing looked like a suit of armor from medieval times only demonized with claws and piercing yellow eyes. "Well girls, looks like we got a big one on our hands."


Cliffhanger! What will happen in the next chapter? Stay tuned and find out.