Pairing: Hints of Luke/Percy

Warnings: Hint's of boy/boy, enthusiastic fathers, an AUish environment…whatever that means, OOCness, and a sucky joke-turned-fic gone bad. ENJOY! =D

Note:...Go on my profile page. It has everything you need to know… I think. And this fic sucks sooo baaaad! D= I wrote this at 1 in the morning on a Monday which I have to go to school, and my writing skills stink! Bleagh!

"Dad, I had sex."

Poseidon stared at his innocent looking son, grip slack on the open door as said son's best friend named Luke Castellan waved and smiled sunnily at Percy before zooming off in his black mustang.


"Dad…?" Percy ventured cautiously, black-head cocking to the side in slight confusion and nervousness at his father's lack of response. "Umm…"

Hearing his adorable son's anxious tone, Poseidon snapped out of his blank state, grinned a mega-watt grin, and reached out his arms to hug a stupefied 17-year old to his chest in a bear hug.

"By the gods!" Poseidon boomed alarmingly, hugging his shocked son even tighter and dancing an unsteady jig around. "I am so proud of you!"

Percy stared at him like his father had lost his own marbles. "What?" The teen sputtered, clearly not expecting this type of welcoming response.

"I. Am. Proud. Of. You." Poseidon repeated slowly, eyes crinkling pleasantly in smile lines as he grinned insanely once again.

'My own son finally had the guts to make love to a girl!' Poseidon squealed mentally in his head. 'I wonder who the lovely lass is…maybe that Annabeth-thing-or-another, she and him do have a close relationship…even though she is Athena's daughter…'

"Come!" Percy's father roared again, dragging his dazed and slightly scared son into the well-groomed house. "Sit down and tell me everything!"

Five minutes later

"So…" Poseidon started slyly, setting down a glass of lemonade in front of Percy. "Did sex feel good?" (Insert awesome face here)

Percy scratched his head shakily. "Umm...I think so? Yes, it felt great…But I have one question, Dad."

"Well, ask away, Percy!" The elder of the two laughed good-naturedly. "It's just you and your old man here! Ask away and I will answer and explain everything to you! Oh, and if you ever have a question on positions or such, just ask your dear old man!"

"Uh…okay then…" Percy mumbled, face red and highly disturbed. "Well…"

"Ask away, son, ask away," Poseidon commanded, leaning impatiently forward on his knees, intent on hearing about his son's sex life.

With a sigh, Percy looked straight and clearly into his own father's sea-green eyes and said, "Why does my butt hurt?"

Poseidon stared.

UnluckyWriter:…What the hell did I just write? And yeah, I was inspired by this old stupid, perverted joke at my home place, so yeah…