Slow Minded

I'M NOT DEAD! :D Sorry I haven't updated in a long time! It's long and complicated and involves a virus, an exploding (literally) computer and A LOT OF MONEY! So, finally being able to write again, I bring you this: The crack series! There will be more updates so BE PATIENT!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. If I did, L, Mello and Beyond wouldn't have died and they would've dyed Light's hair multicoloured! XD

Teru Mikami's idea of a fantastic birthday was to have 'god' bring him a purple, porcelain cup (He had a cup fetish).

He looked out of his window and saw the many sparkling lights (LOL :D) of New York. Suddenly, there were 3 knocks on his door. He sighed in annoyance and opened it.

Outside was a giraffe, with a £50 note wrapped around it's neck like a scarf. Mikami sighed. It was 10 pm and he wasn't in the mood.

He was about to pick the giraffe up, when someone grabbed him.

"Don't touch it." The person warned. Mikami turned to see a red haired teenage boy, who was wearing a striped top.

"I'm Matt, by the way." Mikami observed 'Matt'. Finally , he spoke.

"Hello." He said simply. Matt just nodded and headed into the kitchen to find some ham.

"What date is it today?" Matt called.

"21st October." Mikami called back.

LE GASP!

"I have to go buy Ryuzaki's birthday present! His birthday's only 10 days away!" Matt cried and sped out of the room, out of the skyscraper, out of America and back to England.

...

...

Mikami just shrugged.

"Weird..." He muttered. Suddenly, he had a spontaneous need to visit the shops, so he ran out of his room and accidently knocked over the giraffe...

...

BOOM! The giraffe exploded into a shower of confetti, knocking Mikami out cold.

Just below the building, someone laughed evilly as the event unfolded.

"Au revoir, Teru." Beyond laughed and he stalked off into the night.