23Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. All characters belong to Janet Evanovich, but we all love 'em just the same. The song "You Save Me" is originally sung by Kenny Chesney. I'm not usually big on song fics, but I've had the idea for this one rolling around in my head for a while. I thought it embodied some of the same personality that I envision the characters of Stephanie and Ranger to be like. Enjoy and please let me know what you think!
"Dammit!" I slammed the phone down and gazed across the room. This call couldn't have come at a worse time. There was a time when I loved the calls that required me to go into the wind for days, weeks, even months at a time. I loved the thrill and got a rush from the adrenaline. But things were different now. I've found that I have more to come back to, and those same things that make me want to come home are the same things that make it awful hard to leave.
"Problem Boss?" Tank walked into my office to find me seething and staring at the phone as if it were the bane of my existence. I growled low in my chest and took my face in my hands. I remained silent, brooding. Why now of all times? If only…
Tank ignored my frustration and persevered. "Ranger, I'm guessing the source of your less than pleasant mood was that phone call. Wanna talk about it?"
I ran my hands through my hair. It was longer now than it had been when I returned from my last mission. I'd had to cut it into a buzz cut when I got home due to the ends getting a little fried in a less than friendly altercation. Stephanie said she liked it longer, so I was growing it out. Stephanie. Dios! Just her name on my lips made my heart skip.
"Man, that was my handler. I've got to fly out tomorrow night for another mission. This couldn't come at a worse time."
"Ranger, your contract is almost up. You weren't going to re-sign. You've got a week left! A freaking week! How can they call and expect…"
"Trust me! I know! But technically, there's a week left. I should have known they wouldn't let me out of it this easy. They've got to get one last mission in. I'm done, Tank. I want out. I've done my time and then some. I'm ready for a life. They say I'll be gone anywhere from 3 to 6 months. I shouldda known…I should have waited to tell her how I felt. I told her it was practically over. That I wasn't signing up again. Now what do I do. I should have…"
Tank interrupted. "Boss, we'll handle things here. You know that. And Bomber, she'll wait. She loves you, man."
I silently met his gaze. I knew she'd wait. But how could I ask her to. What if I didn't come home this time? This is why I've always avoided relationships.
"Ranger, have you told her yet?"
I looked up into the big man's face. I could see the frustration that he was feeling for me. He was a good friend, and I knew I could count on him.
I tilted my head slightly. "Not yet. She's not gonna like it. Hell, I don't like it."
"She'll manage, Boss. We'll take care of her while you're gone. Go. Find her. Talk to her. Spend some time with her before you have to leave. I'll get everything done here on this end. I'll have the legal paperwork drawn up and ready for you by tomorrow in case….well, just in case. Like we always do."
I pulled Tank into a man hug. "Thanks man. If something happens…"
Tank looked me eye to eye. "Carlos, don't. You're coming back. She needs you. You need her. Don't even talk like that."
"But you'll take care of her, right? I can count on you?"
"Yeah, Boss. Always. Now go. Find your girl."
I grabbed my jacket and quickly pulled up Steph's trackers finding that she was at her apartment. I grabbed my keys from my desk and ran down the steps to the garage and beeped the Turbo unlocked. My nerves were on edge and I realized that I'd never felt this anxious about leaving for a mission before. But then again, I'd never had Steph to officially come home to. My knuckles were white as I gripped the steering wheel and pulled out of the garage. I had to find her and tell her. But how do I tell her? How do I tell her that I'm leaving again even though I don't want to go?
Every now and then I get a little lost
My strings all get tangled, my wires all get crossed
Every now and then I'm right up on the edge
Dangling my toes out over the ledge
I just thank God you're here
I pulled into her parking lot and took a few calming breaths. My heart was racing and the need to be with her was overwhelming. I stepped out of the car and thought back to the night I finally told her I loved her. Without qualifications. It was only about a month ago. But in the past month, I'd had a taste of what a real life was like. I loved coming over to her apartment at the end of the day to tell her about how my day had went. Orfinding her in my apartment, waiting on me after the end of her shift. I'd held her at night and woke with her in the mornings, feeling her soft body against mine. The taste I'd had of a real life left me ravenous for more. It was like a thirst I couldn't quench. We'd wasted so much time- missed out on so much.
I'd lied and told her that I wasn't relationship material. I'd given her every reason to never believe I'd ever want more. But I did. I wanted more. I couldn't stand being away from her. She settled me and calmed me. She gave me purpose. She was my true north and my beacon home.
'Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun
'Cause when I'm a firecracker comin' undone
Or when I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild-eyed and crazy
No matter where my reckless soul takes me
Baby you save me
I made my way up to her apartment and unlocked the door. She'd tried to finally give me a key, but where's the fun in that? I found her napping on her sofa, with a worn throw covering her. She looked so angelic lying there, with her curls spread out.
I made my way over to her and sat beside her. I took her hand in mine, and kissed it reverently. It was killing me to have to tell her I was leaving.
"Babe. Steph. Wake up, Babe."
She stretched and sunk down into the throw further. Finally, she blinked a few times and smiled. "Ranger. I was having a nice dream about you. About us. Did you get off work early? I thought we were meeting at your apartment after work?"
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I dreaded telling her about the upcoming mission, and hesitated.
"Carlos, what's wrong? Did something happen? What are you not telling me?"
"Babe, I received a phone call a few minutes ago. It was my handler from DC. I've got a final mission, Babe. I had a week left on my contract, and they've called me back. I leave tomorrow night. I'm sorry, Babe. I know it couldn't come at a worse time. Trust me, if there was something I could do…something I could say to change things…I would. Dios! You know I would, Steph, right?"
Tears glimmered unshed in her eyes as she sat up. She pulled me into her arms and held on tightly. I felt her fingers lightly running up my back and into my hair. I held on to her as if she were a life raft for a sinking ship. In a way she was. She was the life preserver to my heart.
"Carlos, it's okay. I understand. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. We've waited too long and you're stuck with me. How long will you be gone?"
I pulled back from her embrace, using my thumbs to wipe the tears that had leaked down her cheeks. "Anywhere from 3 to 6 months. I can't believe I had a week left, and they are sending me out again. Unbelievable!"
"Carlos, we knew this was a possibility. But we'll get through it. I'll be here waiting on you when you return. What can I do for you while you're away to make it easier? Is there something I can do at Rangeman besides searches? Anything at all?"
"Babe, just stay safe for me. Call Tank if you need anything at all. He's in charge."
She nodded her understanding. I tilted her chin up so that she was looking at my eyes. "Steph will you do something for me?"
"Anything Carlos. You know that."
"Stay on Seven while I'm gone. The thought of you in my bed will give me peace at night. Please. For me?"
She squeezed my hand and put her head to my chest. "Of course. Anything for you."
It's hard lovin' a man that's got a gypsy soul
I don't know how you do it, I'm not sure how you know
The perfect thing to say to save me from myself
You're the angel that believes in me like nobody else
And I thank God you do
"Babe, I have to leave tomorrow night. But we have today. Let me make love to you. Let me show you how I feel about you. I hate that I'm leaving when we've just gotten started. I need you tonight. Let me show you. Let me love you, Babe."
Stephanie kissed me gently, softly at first. But as our tongues touched, the passion ignited and the kisses quickly became fueled with passion and desire. I pulled her roughly to me as I slid my hands up her shirt. Our movements became frantic as I ripped her shirt apart and buttons scattered across the floor. I stood as she wrapped her long legs around me and stalked into the bedroom.
'Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun
When I'm a firecracker coming undone
When I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild-eyed and crazy
No matter where my reckless soul takes me
Baby you save me
I laid her down on the bed and dropped my belt and shucked my cargos. Quickly, I pulled my black shirt off one handed, while I used the other hand to support my weight over her body. My fingers met hers at the waist of her pants, and I quickly unfastened them and pulled them down her legs. I kissed my way back up her long, luscious legs as my fingers walked towards her mound. I found the edge of her lace panties, and slid a finger under each side on her hips. Bending down over her, I licked and kissed her flat stomach as I ripped the fragile lace in half as I heard a gasp escape from her lips.
"C-Carlos."
"What is it Babe? Tell me what you want. What do you need. Tell me and I'll do it. Anything."
"I need you. Please. Take me."
My fingers found her folds wet and swollen. I circled her clit gently at first, taking her closer and closer to the edge. As her breaths became quicker, I could feel her arousal coating my hand. I kissed her with all of the passion I felt inside as I finally pushed two fingers into her wet depths. She gasped as I pressed firmly on the soft hidden spot inside, making her finally tumble over into the depths of her orgasm.
Kissing soft, open mouth kisses across her chest and stomach, I positioned myself between her legs. My length was positioned at her entrance, at the ready. Waiting. I slid my hands underneath her back and grasped her shoulders. Our eyes met and all I could see staring back at me was love and acceptance. I had never known love like that before. I was always adrift in life…searching. Floundering. But finally I found her. I found Stephanie. Did she know that? Did she know that she was the salvation to my soul? That she saved me from the darkness that was my life and existence?
I know I don't tell you nearly enough
That I couldn't live one day without your love
"Stephanie, you are my life. You possess my heart and my soul. You've saved me from myself. I love you."
At that declaration, I entered her forcefully. I heard her gasp in pleasure as I found the soft skin of her neck. I nibbled, biting down gently at first, then harder. She moaned in pleasure as I set a pace that was steady and strong, taking us both to higher realms of ecstasy.
"Carlos, I love you. You complete me. Never doubt that. I love you always."
I pounded into her harder after hearing her declaration of love. I'd never know what I did to deserve her love, but I'd live every day of the rest of my life trying to be worthy of it.
I felt her inner walls clench around me as I pistoned in and out. This was as close to Heaven as I would ever get here on Earth. As she came, I heard her screams of passion as she called out my name. Her name followed closely after from my lips as I spilled my seed inside of her, filling her with my warmth.
Afterwards, I held her close to me as our breathing evened out. No words were spoken, nor needed. Our hearts and bodies had said all that we'd needed to hear. I hated leaving her, but I'd found peace lying in her arms. No longer anxious, I knew I'd come home to her. I had to. She was my anchor. I'd move hell and earth to find my way back to her. I'd be lost without her. She was the only one who knew how to save me.
When I'm a ship tossed around on the waves When I'm a bullet shot out of a gun
Up on a highwire that's ready to break
When I've had just about all I can take
Baby you, baby you save me
When I'm a firecracker coming undone
When I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild-eyed and crazy
No matter where my reckless soul takes me
Baby you save me